[Emma H]

Hi Vivian,

Based on your descriptions in this and your previous posts, it seems like the bedtime issues, or “false starts,” diminish when his bedtime is later. This suggests that the current bedtime of 7pm might be a bit too early for him, leading to these issues because he’s simply not tired enough.

What do you think about moving all of his naps back 15 minutes for a few days? This small adjustment could help push his bedtime slightly later, which might resolve the bedtime false starts. However, if these false starts aren’t bothering you (as it sounds like you can settle him back to sleep pretty quickly) then you can leave his schedule as is.

As babies get older, you can start watching the clock to determine when they need a nap as they do start to fall into a more predictable schedule as they get closer to 6 months. So if you find that watching the clock works better for your little one then that’s totally ok.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Elisa,

It sounds like you’ve been doing a wonderful job establishing a bedtime routine for your little one. And from what you’ve written, it sounds like it has generally been going well – with your little one mostly going to sleep on her own after completing her bedtime routine without becoming upset or only crying for 5 – 10 minutes.

It might be helpful to hear that it’s quite normal for babies, even those who are usually good at settling, to have occasional nights where they struggle more. So the fact that she cried for 20 minutes before settling herself last night, although longer than usual, isn’t necessarily a sign that something is wrong with your approach.

As for the question about day naps and whether not training her to self-settle during the day could be affecting her night sleep: it’s possible. Consistency across all sleep periods can reinforce the self-settling skills you’re encouraging at night. You might consider gradually introducing similar settling techniques for her naps as you use at night to help create a consistent message about sleep.

Hang in there! You’re doing a great job!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Emma,

How have the last few days gone? Have there been any changes?

If it has continued, it’s unusual for there to be this sudden change. Do you think he is getting sick or teething? It just sounds like he might be unsettled/fussy all the time and he is even finding it challenging to fall asleep on you.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kostas,

It is so good to hear the settling pyramid method is working for Helen and suits her temperament.

In regards to when you stop sss and patting it depends on Helen. If you place her in the crib and she is content then there is no need to sss or pat. Just leave her to fall asleep. The idea is that in the not-too-distant future, you will just need to complete the nap or bedtime routine and then place Helen in the crib and she will fall asleep all on her own.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Sharne,

2 a.m. party time doesn’t sound like a lot of fun. And I agree that taking her for a drive at this time is not sustainable for anyone!

From what you’ve said, there are two possible reasons for this sudden waking at 2am.

The first one is the “hybrid crawl”. Studies have shown that when babies learn new motor skills, particularly crawling, they can wake overnight to ‘practice this skill’. If this is the reason, it should settle down over time. Just make sure you give her lots of opportunities to practice this new crawling technique during daytime hours and maintain those healthy sleep habits (so keeping the lights off if it isn’t feeding time or time to change the nappy, keeping interactions to a minimum, don’t feeding her if it isn’t time for a feed etc.). If you start doing things you typically wouldn’t try to get her to fall asleep, like feeding her, rocking her, etc., it can encourage her to keep waking up at this time.

The second reason might be with that last nap of the day. I noticed that you mentioned she is now having a 2 hours nap at the end of the day. This is great because it indicates that she is learning to link sleep cycles. But the issue might be that it’s finishing too close to bedtime. At 5 months, she might need 2 1/2 hours of awake time before bed to ensure her sleep pressure is high when she goes to bed. So if the nap finishes at 5.30pm and her bedtime is at 6:30/ 7/ 7:30, she might not have enough wake time. For the next few days, try waking her up from that last nap of the day at 5pm if she hasn’t already woken up and make bedtime 7:30 pm and see if this stops the 2am wake.

While trying this over the next few days, when she wakes up at 2am, if she is happy, I just let her play. By not interacting you’re reinforcing that overnight isn’t playtime and hopefully this means she will settle back to sleep quicker. Sometimes, interacting and trying to settle them back to sleep can just cause them to wake up more and stay awake for longer. So if she is happy in her crib and not calling out to you, I would just leave her be.

Hopefully, she isn’t a loud pterodactyl!

Let me know if any of these help!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Vivian,

This week started off a bit rough with all three kids sick, but thankfully, everyone’s back to their usual selves now, so things are looking up 😂

Hopefully, you’ve had a great week with your little one!

It sounds like he’s naturally spacing out his feedings during the day, which is fantastic.

Regarding your question about awake times – “awake times” means the period from when your baby wakes up from a nap until they fall asleep again. If they seem drowsy but aren’t fully asleep, that’s still counted as awake time.

I would try not to stress if his daytime naps seem shorter than what’s typical for his age. Each baby is unique in how much sleep they need. As long as he’s sleeping well at night and not constantly fussy or restless during the day, it’s likely he’s getting the right amount of sleep for him. If he seems content and happy while awake, then he’s probably just fine with the amount of daytime sleep he’s getting.

If you notice he’s starting to fight the last nap of the day and it’s been over 20 minutes, you have a few options. If bedtime isn’t too far off, you might skip the nap. Another option, if you use a baby carrier, is to go for a quick contact nap. Or, you could try for a nap again after a little break. However, if he does end up napping later, you might want to keep it short so he’s ready to sleep at bedtime.

Tired cues are often the same cues babies use to say they’re tired, bored or hungry. So it’s always better to combine your baby’s tired cues with wake windows and your baby’s general pattern to figure out when they really need sleep.

I hope this makes things a bit clearer!

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Monique,

It can take babies up to 20 minutes to fall asleep. But since your little one is happily playing for over an hour before falling asleep, I wonder if she is tired at bedtime.

To help you figure this out, I suggest you record what time she falls asleep (and stays asleep) each night for the next few days or the next week. This will help you identify if there is a time that she is consistently falling asleep and if this differs from her current bedtime. If it does, you would change her bedtime to the time she is falling asleep at night.

If your little one is over 4 months old, it would also be good to watch when she wakes up from her last nap. She will likely resist if it is too close to bedtime because she isn’t tired.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Christine,

It’s great that you have been able to start using the settling pyramid. Hopefully, you’re both finding it helpful!

Before I talk about how you can encourage your little one to drop the 2-4 am feed, I just want to quickly mention that waking for a feed overnight is very normal under 6 months of age. As a rough guide, formula-fed babies can generally start having their night feeds phased out from around 6 months of age.

So, if you would like to phase it out sooner than this, please talk to your baby’s doctor to make sure that your little one would be ok to go through the night without a feeding.

If your doctor gives you the go-ahead, you can begin to phase out the 2-4 am feed by slowly decreasing the amount of formula you offer your little one by ½ to 1 ounce each night. You would continue to reduce the formula amount until it’s less than 2 ounces. At this point, when your baby wakes up at 2 – 4 am instead of feeding him, you would use the strategies from the ‘Settling Pyramid’ to help him fall back to sleep. Eventually, he will stop waking at this time and sleep through.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Vivian,

Given that he is waking after 1 sleep cycle but easily falls back to sleep and then stays asleep until morning I wouldn’t necessarily call it a false start. I really do think with time, this brief wake at the start of the night will just stop happening.

It’s also fantastic to hear that his naps are getting longer! If he wakes between sleep cycles but self-soothes back to sleep, it shows he’s starting to connect these cycles.

As for calculating a baby’s age, we typically use their birthdate as a marker. For example, if your baby was born on March 2nd, he would be considered 1 month old on April 2nd, 2 months old on May 2nd, and so on. This method is used because a month isn’t exactly four weeks—it’s closer to 4.3 weeks.

If you’re trying to figure out your baby’s age in weeks instead of months, you can multiply the number of months by 4.3. For instance:

• At 4 months, it’s approximately 17 weeks (because 4 times 4.3 equals about 17.2).
• At 5 months, it’s roughly 21.5 weeks (since 5 times 4.3 is 21.5).

However, as I said it’s generally simpler to track months based on the birth date. If your baby was born prematurely though, you would use the due date rather than the birth date to calculate their corrected age.

I hope that makes sense!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

Thank you for your responses.

If you want to share a photo, you could upload it to Google Drive or Dropbox and send me the link. Alternatively, typing out the details might be simpler.

Regarding your video monitor, you mentioned it has a light and makes noise in night mode. Could you possibly cover the light with some tape? Also, if the noise can’t be turned off, is there an option to switch it to white noise instead? If that is an option, you could try placing it a bit further from the crib, so it’s not too loud but you can still keep an eye on her.

Thanks
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Emma,

It sounds like you’ve had some tough nights recently. Waking up every two hours is definitely exhausting, but it’s encouraging to hear there’s a bit of improvement with less crying.

Since the disrupted sleep hasn’t been accompanied by teething signs like visible teeth buds and it is lasting more than a few days, it might not be teething causing the wake-ups.

How is he during his awake times? Is he generally content, or does he seem unsettled then too? Also, have there been any changes recently, such as starting solids or changes in his bowel movements?

If everything else is stable and he’s usually happy, it might just be that he’s gotten used to needing more comfort to fall and stay asleep. If that’s the case, then I have a few more questions before I can provide suggestions. So when you have some time, can you please answer the questions below?

1. Does he have a set wake-up time?

2. What times are his naps during the day? So what’s his general routine for the day?

3. How do you help him fall asleep during the day – so what’s the nap time routine and then how do you settle him to sleep?

4. Where does he sleep during the day? Is he in a bedroom and if so is the bedroom dark, cool and quiet?

5. What time does his final nap of the day end?

6. What time is bedtime now?

7. Has the bedtime routine changed? If so what is it now?

8. When he does fall asleep at night, does he still have a long stretch of sleep or does he wake every 2 hours?

9. What is overnight like? So what’s the general times of the overnight feeds and when you’re feeding where are you doing this and what’s the room like (eg. are the lights on, do you do it in the bedroom or lounge room etc).

10. Are you feeding each time he wakes overnight?

11. Does he use a pacifier?

Thanks!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Vivian,

I hope you had a great weekend. It’s great that your mother-in-law was able to help out. Hopefully, you got some time to rest during that visit.

Bedtime false starts are when your little one seems to fall asleep for the night but then wakes up soon after—kind of like mistaking bedtime for a quick nap. This can happen just a few minutes in or 30/35/40/45 minutes later. After waking, they’re usually up for a full wake window before they’re ready to sleep again.

There are a few reasons why bedtime false starts happen:

1. Bedtime might be too early: Babies under 3-4 months old often do better with a later bedtime. So, if you’re putting them down between 6-8 PM, they may initially fall asleep but then wake up soon after. This could lead to a repetitive cycle of soothing them back to sleep over and over until they finally settle into a deep sleep sometime between 8 PM and 11 PM. Alternatively, they might not settle down after that initial wake up and instead stay awake for another wake window before finally going to sleep later in the evening, between 8 PM and 11 PM.
2. They aren’t tired enough: If your baby hasn’t been up long enough before bedtime, they might have enough sleep pressure to fall asleep but not stay asleep.
3. They’re falling asleep while feeding: It’s common for babies to fall asleep during their last feed of the night because it’s so soothing. However, if they haven’t built up enough sleep pressure to stay asleep for long, they might wake up soon after.
4. They’re asleep before being placed in the crib: If your little one falls asleep with some help—like feeding, rocking, or bouncing—and then you move them to their crib, they might wake up surprised by the change. It’s similar to how you’d feel if you went to sleep with a pillow and woke up to find it gone—you’d probably wake up looking for it!

From what you have said, the likely reasons for your little one waking up after bedtime may be a mixture of 1 and 2. He has just hit four months so bedtimes can still vary and I also think the timing of his last nap of the day is starting to have an impact on his bedtime and his ability to stay asleep. When your mother-in-law helped out his bedtime was earlier than usual, at 6:30pm and so were his naps. I wonder if moving his naps earlier meant he had a longer time awake between that final nap of the day and his bedtime? But in general, he is still really young and I just think he needs a little more time.

Regarding your question on naptime and bedtime routines – No, they don’t necessarily have to be in the same order of activities. It’s perfectly fine if the routine varies slightly depending on who is putting the baby to sleep, as long as the overall environment and approach remain soothing and conducive to sleep.

However, some consistency in how these routines are carried out can be helpful for your baby. Babies and young children often thrive on predictability. So while the routines don’t have to match perfectly, maintaining a few core elements (like a specific lullaby, a cuddle, or dimming the lights) and ensuring that the last activity is calming and done in the bedroom can make the transition to sleep smoother, regardless of whether it’s naptime or bedtime.

Babies can learn to nap in a room that isn’t completely dark. But in saying that, a dark room (so dark that you can’t read a book) can make it easier for babies to fall asleep and then link sleep cycles when they’re developmentally ready to.

I hope that helps,

Emma

[Emma H]

Thanks Amanda!

[Emma H]

Hi Kostas!

Goodluck introducing solids! Hopefully, Helen loves it!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

Sorry I have some more questions.

1. When you leave the bedroom do you shut the bedroom door?

2. When you say that it takes 30 – 60 minutes for her to fall asleep, is she mostly happily playing in her crib? Is she content or upset? You just mentioned that she doesn’t cry much, so I’m wondering if she is just playing during this time.

3. When you say she doesn’t sleep, is she going the whole day without having a nap? Or does she fall asleep later?

4. How many days of the week does she have a nap?

5. Last week, I mentioned recording the time she falls asleep for each nap. Did you have time to do this?

6. Do you have a video baby monitor in her bedroom? I’m just wondering if there’s a way you could see if she is awake without needing to go into her room.

Also not sure if this is helpful, but a bowel reflex occurs 20 – 30 minutes after eating. So if she’s pooping during naptime, it might be worth looking at the timing of her lunch or morning tea. If it happens 20 – 30 minutes before nap time, then it increases the chances that she may poop. The options to address this are to move naptime an hour after the meal or move the meal earlier in the morning.

Thanks,

Emma