[Emma H]

Hi Marien!

I’m so glad you’ve been finding the videos helpful!

To answer your question—letting your little one sleep on you is totally fine! Contact naps, skin-to-skin, and babywearing are all great ways to provide comfort and connection, and they won’t prevent your baby from learning to sleep in their crib.

That being said, you don’t want every nap to be on you, simply because you want to give your baby plenty of opportunities to practice falling asleep in their crib as well. The goal is to find a balance—enjoying those snuggly naps when you want to, while also helping your baby develop the skills to settle independently over time.

When your baby does sleep in the crib, you can support them using the settling pyramid—responding to their needs while gradually helping them learn to fall asleep with less and less help.

So no need to second-guess those contact naps—they’re totally okay! Just aim to mix in some crib naps too, so your little one has lots of opportunity to practice falling in the crib.

Hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Ingrid,

Firstly, congratulations! I’m so excited for you, and I really hope everything goes smoothly with your delivery!

Regarding the sleep positioner, they’re not recommended for sleep at all—even if you’re watching your baby—due to safety risks. However, if you’re considering something like a baby nest to place your newborn in while they’re awake and playing (to make the floor more comfortable), that would be okay, as long as you ensure they don’t fall asleep in it.

That said, if you’re simply looking for a safe and comfortable place to lay your baby on the floor for playtime, a baby gym or play mat would be a much better option. These provide a safe space for your little one, can be used for months, and—especially in the case of a baby gym—offer lots of developmental benefits as they start reaching, kicking, and interacting with the hanging toys.

Wishing you all the best in these final days before you meet your little one!

Let me know if you have any other questions. 😊

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

Thanks so much for answering my questions, it really helped!

You mentioned that you’re currently settling her to sleep in your arms by rocking or bouncing her. One likely reason she’s waking up shortly after being placed in the bassinet during the day is that she’s becoming dependent on that movement to fall and stay asleep. This is also why she sleeps longer when contact napping—because you can continue rocking or bouncing when she stirs.

At night, she’s likely sleeping for longer stretches in the bassinet because her circadian rhythm and sleep pressure are working together to help her fall and stay asleep. During the day, only sleep pressure is at play, which means she stirs more easily.

The key to extending her naps is helping her learn to fall asleep in the bassinet itself. However, I completely understand that this may be too big of a step right now. A great in-between step is to gradually reduce the amount of movement she relies on while still letting her fall asleep in your arms.

Here’s how you can gently start this transition:

1️⃣ Follow your usual pre-sleep routine – Take her into her bedroom and swaddle her.
2️⃣ Hold her while rocking or bouncing and sing/hum a lullaby – This lullaby will become a sleep cue.
3️⃣ Once the lullaby ends, continue rocking or bouncing while shushing softly.
4️⃣ Gradually reduce movement – Stop rocking/bouncing but continue shushing while standing still.
5️⃣ Then, stop shushing and simply hold her still in your arms until she drifts off.
6️⃣ Once she’s asleep, gently lay her in the bassinet.

Since newborns spend half their sleep in light REM sleep, she may wake when you lay her down. If she does, try using the Settling Pyramid to help her fall back asleep. If she struggles to settle, you may need to try settling her directly in the bassinet using the Settling Pyramid from the start.

One thing to keep in mind is that babies usually find it easier to fall asleep for naps earlier in the day. As the day goes on, naps often become more challenging—especially around 8 weeks, when babies hit the peak of the Period of PURPLE Crying. Many babies experience a fussy, unsettled time in the late afternoon or early evening, which can make bassinet naps more difficult.

Because morning naps tend to be easier, you may want to start practicing either the Settling Pyramid or gradually reducing movement during these naps first. As you’re more likely to experience success with these naps.

Morning Wake-Up Time

Right now, it sounds like her wake-up time varies between 6:30 AM and 7:30 AM. Would you be open to narrowing this to a consistent 30-minute window, waking her by 7 AM at the latest?

This small adjustment can make a big difference in helping her circadian rhythm mature, as it’s still developing at this stage. A more consistent wake-up time will also help bedtime become more predictable, reducing any variability in her sleep schedule.

As she continues to grow, a set wake-up time will naturally help her first nap fall into a more predictable rhythm, making daytime sleep easier to manage.

Wake, Feed, Play, Sleep Routine

At 8 weeks of age, it’s completely normal for babies to only have a few wake windows throughout the day where they stay awake after a feed. So it’s fantastic that you’ve already been able to follow the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during these times!

As she gets older, you’ll notice more of these wake windows, until eventually, it becomes the norm—waking from a nap, feeding, playing, and then sleeping again. This natural progression will make daytime sleep patterns even more predictable over time.

Do these suggestions sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

There could be a number of reasons for this change, so to get a clearer idea of what might be happening, I just have a few quick questions:

• Does she have a consistent wake-up time? If so, what is it?
• Have you been able to start the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day?
• How are you settling her to sleep for naps and bedtime?
• Have you implemented a nap routine? If so, what does it look like?
• Have you implemented a bedtime routine? If so, what does it look like?
• Where does she sleep during the day? (e.g., Is the bassinet in a cool, dark, and quiet room?)
• How many naps is she having during the day?
• How long is she generally staying awake between naps?
• What time is her bedtime?
• Does she use a pacifier?
• Do you swaddle her?
• Is she waking overnight for a feed? If so, can you give me a rough idea of the times she wakes?
• When you say she is refusing to nap in the bassinet, is this happening for all naps or mainly towards the end of the day?

I completely understand how busy you must be with an 8-week-old, so I really appreciate you taking the time to answer these! Once I have a better idea of her sleep patterns and environment, I’ll be able to offer specific advice.

Sorry again,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

Thanks so much for tracking this data—I really appreciate the effort you’ve put into it!

From what you’ve collected, it looks like the length of the wake window before bedtime isn’t making it easier for her to fall asleep or stay asleep. In fact, when she had a longer wake window of 2 hours and 40 minutes, her sleep at the start of the night seemed more disrupted.

Possible Reasons for Frequent Wake-Ups at the Start of the Night

In general, there are four common reasons why babies wake frequently early in the night:

1. Difficulty Linking Sleep Cycles – If a baby hasn’t yet learned to fall asleep independently, they often wake predictably between sleep cycles, needing assistance (rocking, feeding, pacifier, etc.) to fall back asleep. However, since your little one is self-settling for naps on the weekend and at bedtime initially—and her night wakings are unpredictable—it’s unlikely this is the cause.

   On that note, do you know how the childcare staff are helping her fall asleep? Are they holding her, patting her in the crib, or feeding her to sleep?

   Also, I noticed she tends to nap around 3–3:30 PM at childcare. Do they attempt to put her down again around 5 PM, or do they keep her awake until you pick her up at 5:30 PM?

2. Discomfort or Pain – When babies wake due to discomfort, their wake-ups don’t follow a pattern and happen at random times.

   You previously mentioned that she’s generally happy and content during the day—is that still the case? Also, when she’s falling asleep, have you noticed her legs constantly moving or “jumping around”?

3. Bedtime Being Too Late – If a baby is overtired, falling asleep and staying asleep can be more difficult.

4. Hunger – Since her final feed is part of the bedtime routine, I wouldn’t expect hunger to wake her just 45 minutes later. It’s possible she might wake 3 hours later due to hunger, but not so soon after bedtime.

   Do you still feed her overnight? For breastfed babies, waking 1–2 times overnight for a feed is typical.

One thing I noticed is that even on the weekend—when her nap schedule is more predictable—her last nap in the crib was around 5–5:40 PM, and she had her usual feed/sleep at 6–6:20 PM. Yet, with bedtime at 8:18 PM, she still didn’t enter a deep sleep until around 11 PM.

Given this, I think it would be worth trying an earlier bedtime this weekend to see if that results in a longer initial stretch of sleep. If it does, that would suggest her disrupted sleep at the start of the night is due to overtiredness.

Since she’s now around 5 months old, her wake windows are likely lengthening, and as a result, she should be dropping down to four naps a day. It’s also common for them to need an earlier bedtime.

If you’re open to trying this, you could follow the 4-nap schedule I outlined in a previous message, or simply cap her final nap in the crib at 5:30 PM at the latest. This way, she could nap from 5–5:30 PM and then go to bed at 7:30 PM.

With either option, we want to avoid her falling asleep during the 6 PM feed. To help with this, you could try feeding her in a bright, busy room to keep her awake. Alternatively, you might consider dropping that feed and instead making it part of the bedtime routine—so for a 7 PM bedtime, you’d feed her around 6:30–6:40 PM.

What do you think?
Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

Before I dive into your question, I just have a few quick things to clarify since it’s been a little while since we last spoke.

• Based on my calculations, is your little one around 4 months old now?

• From what you’ve described, it sounds like her overnight sleep pattern looks something like this:

  Bedtime: 8:30/9:00 pm
  1st feed: Between 11:30 pm – 1:00 am
  2nd feed: Between 2:30 – 3:30 am
  3rd feed: Between 5:00 – 5:50 am

Does that sound about right? You didn’t mean that she is awake from 11:30pm until 1am did you?

If this overnight sleep pattern is right, it looks like she’s initially getting a longer stretch of sleep (around 3–4.5 hours) but then waking every 2 hours after that. This pattern suggests she may be waking between sleep cycles overnight and needing help to fall back asleep.

I was wondering—how are you currently settling her to sleep? I am assuming she’s napping in the sling during the day, but when she’s placed in the crib for naps or at bedtime, is she being held or fed to sleep? Have you been able to try the settling pyramid for any of her sleeps, and if so, how is that going? And have you been able to pair back the movement when you are settling her to sleep in the sling?

You also mentioned that you’re following sleep schedule option 2 with some minor tweaks due to the early morning wake-ups. Could you share what her nap routine looks like, including how long she’s sleeping for each nap?

And lastly, you mentioned that her wake windows have shortened—how long are they currently?

Sorry for all the questions! Just want to make sure I have all the details so I can give you the best advice.

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

It’s great to hear that you’re already implementing my suggestions and that you’ve found an ideal wake-up time and bedtime for your little one!

Based on what you’ve shared, I do think she may be ready to transition to four naps a day. To make this shift smoothly, I recommend gradually stretching her wake windows so that her last nap doesn’t end too early, leaving her overtired before bedtime.

Right now, it looks like her wake windows are around 40 minutes to an hour. Over the next few days, you could see how she tolerates being awake for 1 hour to 1 hour and 15 minutes at a time.

If she adjusts well, her schedule might start to look like this:

• Nap 1: 8:30 AM for 1 hour, 40 minutes (gradually shifting closer to 9 AM in the coming weeks)
• Nap 2: 11:20 AM for 1 hour
• Nap 3: 1:40 PM for 40 minutes
• Nap 4: 3:30 PM for 40 minutes

With this schedule, she’d wake up around 4:10 PM, which is still a long stretch before her 6:30 PM bedtime. Until she’s fully adjusted to longer wake windows, you may need to move bedtime slightly earlier to help her make it through to bedtime without becoming overtired.

That said, if you feel like transitioning to four naps is too challenging right now, it’s completely okay to keep a fifth nap—especially as a contact nap—until she’s ready for longer wake windows.

I hope this helps,
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

I’m so glad to hear that the suggestions sound doable!
In regards to your questions, I have answered them below. Please let me know if they don’t make sense or you would like me to explain something better.

Early Morning Wake-Ups

How you respond to early wake-ups depends on how much earlier she wakes:
– If she wakes around 6:00 AM: I’d recommend just starting the day when she wakes. It’s very common for babies to begin their day between 6:00-7:00 AM, as this aligns with their natural rhythm.

– If she wakes before 5:30 AM: Try treating it as a night wake-up rather than morning. Keep the lights low or off, offer a feed if needed, and follow the wake-feed-sleep routine outlined in the course. This will encourage her to return to sleep rather than starting the day too early.

Next Steps for Independent Sleep

Once she’s used to falling asleep without movement in your arms, the next step is to:
– Complete her usual nap or bedtime routine as you’ve been doing.
– After singing the lullaby, instead of holding her until she falls asleep, lay her in the bassinet while she’s still awake.
– Use the Settling Pyramid to help her fall asleep in the bassinet on her own.

This gradual transition will help her build the skills to settle independently while still feeling supported.

Finding the Right Bedtime

From what you’ve described, it sounds like the earlier bedtime (6/7:00 PM) works better for her, as she tolerates it well and still gets a long initial stretch of sleep.

Even though this earlier bedtime results in two night wakings instead of one, that’s completely normal at this stage. Many babies still need two feeds overnight at this age, and over time, she will naturally consolidate sleep and drop to one wake-up when she’s ready.

For now, I’d recommend sticking with the earlier bedtime, as it seems to work better for her mood and overall sleep quality.

Let me know how things go!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

Thanks so much for all this information! It’s really helpful in figuring out what’s going on with her sleep patterns.

It’s great to hear that her first nap is consistently happening around 9 AM—having that predictability in the morning helps set the tone for the rest of the day.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like nap times at childcare vary quite a bit. You mentioned that they aren’t allowed to wake her if she falls asleep while feeding—are they open to waking her after one full sleep cycle? Or at the very least, ensuring that her first nap doesn’t go beyond 9:40 AM?

If they can do this, we can start working on making her second nap more consistent. Once that nap falls into a predictable pattern, we can do the same for the third and fourth naps. Gradually introducing more consistency into her daytime sleep may help reduce the chances of her falling asleep on the car ride home, which in turn can make bedtime smoother.

Bedtime Adjustments – Two Options

I’ve been thinking about ways to make bedtime easier for both of you, and there are two possible approaches.

Option 1: Stick with the Current Routine

This means continuing with her current schedule of five naps per day—including the short nap she takes around 6 PM while breastfeeding—and putting her to bed about two hours after waking from that nap, which seems to be around 8:30 PM.

To fine-tune this approach, I was hoping you could track a few things over the next week:

• The time she wakes from her final nap
• The time she actually falls asleep and stays asleep for the night (not just when she’s put to bed, but when she fully enters deep sleep)

At 4 months of age, babies typically have a wake window of 2 to 2.5 hours, and it’s common for their final wake window to be a little longer than the others. What I am hoping, is that by tracking this information, you might start to notice a pattern—either in how long she naturally stays awake before bedtime (so her wake window) or what time she truly settles for the night. If you choose to keep her current routine, this will help you determine the best bedtime for her based on her natural sleep patterns.

If you continue with this option, one key factor to keep in mind is making sure she stays fully awake during her final feed before bed. Even a brief “micro nap” while feeding can reduce her sleep pressure, making it harder for her to stay asleep.

This can be tricky to catch, as babies often continue sucking even when they’ve drifted off. A good way to tell if she’s still awake is by listening for regular swallowing sounds—if she’s awake, you’ll hear her swallow every few sucks. If you don’t hear swallowing for a while, she has likely fallen asleep.

If she does fall asleep while feeding and you then complete the bedtime routine and settle her into the crib, she may initially fall asleep but is more likely to wake shortly after.

So, to help keep her fully awake during her feed, I was wondering if you would be happy to do the bedtime feed in a brighter, slightly more stimulating environment (e.g., the living room with the lights on) rather than a dim, quiet bedroom. The extra background activity can help keep her awake for the full feed, which should make staying asleep easier when you put her down.

Option 2: Adjusting to an Earlier Bedtime

The other option is to experiment with shifting bedtime earlier to see if it helps her settle more easily at night.

I completely understand that evenings are your main time together on childcare days, so I don’t want to suggest an earlier bedtime without considering that. Instead, we can test the impact of an earlier bedtime over the weekend when you have more time together.

If you’re open to trying this, here’s a schedule to follow over the weekend:

Weekend Schedule Test (2-Hour Wake Windows)

– 7:00 – 7:15 AM – Wake, 1st Feed, then play
– 9:00 AM – Nap 1 (Assuming a 27-30 minute nap)
– 9:30 AM – Wake, 2nd Feed, then play
– 11:30 AM – Nap 2
– 12:00 PM – Wake, 3rd Feed, then play
– 2:00 PM – Nap 3
– 2:30 PM – Wake, 4th Feed, then play
– 4:30 PM – Nap 4
– 5:00 PM – Wake, 5th Feed, then play
– 7:00 PM – Bedtime (including a feed, ideally in a bright, engaging room to keep her awake).

You’ll notice that this schedule includes only four naps instead of five. I know she’s currently taking five naps, but in order to gradually extend her wake windows to two hours, we need to space out her naps, which naturally reduces the total number of naps in a day.

The reason for this adjustment is to help build up enough sleep pressure before each nap. This will encourage her to take longer naps and start linking sleep cycles—something babies are developmentally capable of doing around five months, but only if they can fall asleep independently (which she can).

By stretching her wake windows to two hours, she will naturally transition from five naps to four. My hope is, that this slight reduction in total daytime sleep, along with increased sleep pressure before naps, will make it easier for her to settle at bedtime and stay asleep for longer stretches.

Would you be open to trying this over the weekend to see if shifting bedtime makes settling easier?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

Thank you so much for all this information!

I was in the middle of replying when my 2-year-old woke up sick, so I’m really sorry, but I’ll have to get back to you tomorrow.

I just wanted to let you know that I’ve seen your message and I’m not ignoring you.

Sorry again,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Joyce,

I’m so glad to hear that her nose has cleared up and she’s breathing more easily!

A constantly runny nose is super common when little ones start childcare, so I completely understand why you expected it to be a given.

I just have a few more questions, as I’m wondering if her frequent wake-ups at the beginning of the night are happening because she’s tired enough to fall asleep but not stay asleep. Basically, her sleep pressure might not be high enough to keep her asleep through the first part of the night.

I know her naps at childcare are unpredictable, but I imagine her first nap of the day is more consistent since her morning wake-up time stays the same. Based on when she wakes up, her first nap should ideally be around 9 AM. Is that already happening, or is there a way to ask childcare to help her fall asleep at that time?

Once her first nap becomes more consistent, the second and third naps should naturally fall into a more predictable pattern as well.

You mentioned she’s getting around 3 hours of sleep at childcare now. Can you tell me:

• How many naps she’s currently taking—has she dropped from 5 to 4?
• What time her last nap at childcare usually starts and ends?
• What time you typically pick her up from childcare and get home?

Bedtime Routine

Based on your previous messages, it sounds like her bedtime routine looks something like this:
– Nappy change
– PJs on
– Feed in the bedroom
– Read a book
– Play peaceful piano music
– Sleeping bag on
– Close the blinds & dim the lights
– Turn on white noise
– Sing a lullaby while rocking and patting
– Lay her down in the crib and apply the settling pyramid

Does that sound right?

Also, have you noticed a difference in how she falls asleep at bedtime and overnight on non-childcare days? If so, could you share what her weekend routine looks like? Specifically:

• How many naps she has on non-childcare days
• What time her final nap starts and ends
• What time bedtime usually is

I’m trying to determine if shifting her bedtime earlier to around 6:30–7 PM could help reduce her frequent wake-ups. The timing of her final nap at childcare will help me see if this is a feasible option.

Sorry for all the questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

Starting with option 1 sounds like a great plan, with the goal of gradually transitioning to option 2.

I agree that with her naps in the sling, she already has a solid nap routine. We just want to make some small adjustments to ensure she’s not getting too much sleep during the day, which will help her sleep better at night.

Let me know how things go—I’m here if you need any tweaks along the way!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

It’s so good to hear that your little one coped with the vaccines so well.

Also, thank you so much for sharing her nap schedule!

Based on what you’ve described, I’m assuming it looks something like this:

– 6:30am – Wake

– 8:30am – Nap 1 (90 mins to 2 hours)

– 10/10:30am – Wake

– 11:30/12 or 12/12:30pm – Nap 2 (up to 2 hours)

– 1:30/2 or 2/2:30pm – Wake

– 3/3:30 or 3:30/4pm – Nap 3 (~1 hour)

– 4/4:30 or 4:30/5pm – Wake

– 5:30/6 or 6/6:30pm – Nap 4 (possibly 1.5 hours)

– 7/7:30 or 7:30/8pm – Wake

– 9:35–11pm – Bedtime

Does this look right?

I also wanted to check:

– What happens if she skips the 5th nap? Does she go to bed earlier, and if so, at what time?

– How long is she usually awake before bedtime?

– You mentioned she’s 3 months old—did she just turn 3 months, or is she closer to 4 months?

Right now, it sounds like she’s getting about 7.5 hours of sleep overnight (11pm–6:30am) and over 6 hours of sleep during the day. This could mean she’s getting too much daytime sleep, which might be why she doesn’t need as much sleep at night and she is fighting bedtime so much.

Ideally, we want her to start sleeping longer stretches overnight—babies her age typically sleep 9–11 hours overnight, increasing to 10–12 hours by 4–6 months as daytime sleep decreases.

Six hours of daytime sleep is a lot at this stage and could be contributing to the bedtime battles and the frequent wakes immediately following bedtime.

Reducing her daytime naps might help her sleep longer at night.

I’ve outlined three different nap schedules below that could work for your little one. The best option depends on what fits your routine and what you feel your baby will adjust to most easily—since you know her needs and rhythms better than anyone!

Option 1: 4 Nap Schedule With The Current Bedtime

• 6:30am – Wake
• 8:30am – Nap 1 (max 1.5 hours)
• 10am – Wake
• 12pm – Nap 2 (max 2 hours)
• 2pm – Wake
• 4pm – Nap 3 (max 30 mins)
• 4:30pm – Wake
• 6:30pm – Nap 4 (max 30 mins)
• 7pm – Wake
• 9/9:30pm – Bedtime

Option 2: 4 Nap Schedule With An Earlier Bedtime

• 6:30am – Wake
• 8:30am – Nap 1 (max 1.5 hours)
• 10am – Wake
• 12pm – Nap 2 (max 1.5 hours)
• 1:30pm – Wake
• 3:30pm – Nap 3 (max 30 mins)
• 4pm – Wake
• 6pm – Nap 4 (max 30 mins)
• 6:30pm – Wake
• 8:30pm – Bedtime

Option 3: Trying a 3-Nap Schedule
If you’re open to an earlier bedtime, a 3-nap schedule could work well:

• 6:30am – Wake
• 8:30am – Nap 1 (max 2 hours)
• 10:30am – Wake
• 12:30pm – Nap 2 (max 2 hours)
• 2:30pm – Wake
• 4:30pm – Nap 3 (30–45 mins)
• 5/5:15pm – Wake
• 7/7:30pm – Bedtime

One more thing I wanted to mention—when starting this new nap routine, continue using the sling for her naps as you have been. Sing the bedtime song and gradually reduce your movement, singing, and rocking, so she starts falling asleep while you’re sitting or standing still. After you’ve followed the routine you choose for 1–2 weeks, we can then look at introducing the settling pyramid to help with naps.

Does this sound doable?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Andrew.

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

I’m so sorry to hear that it’s been such a challenging weekend for you.

I know how exhausting and frustrating this must feel, and you’re doing an incredible job trying to navigate through it all.

One possible reason things were especially difficult this weekend—particularly at bedtime—could be the vaccines she received on Friday. It’s common for babies to be tired and a bit drowsy on the day of the vaccines, but then become unsettled afterward. This is often due to pain or tenderness at the injection site that can last for a few days. Additionally, some vaccines can cause a mild fever, both of which can make it harder for babies to settle and sleep.

The fact that she didn’t settle even after a feed on Saturday and Sunday nights—when she typically would—suggests that discomfort might be playing a role in her sleep challenges.

Did the nurse or doctor mention any pain relief options after the vaccines, or was she already having some pain relief at the time? If not, it might be worth checking in with your doctor to see if this could help make her more comfortable, especially if she’s still unsettled over the next few days.

Since she may be experiencing some discomfort, you might consider pausing the sleep routine for a few days and resuming it once she’s likely feeling better. Or, if you prefer, you can continue with the routine, knowing she might just need extra comfort and support right now.

It’s possible that the 6 hours of daytime sleep could be affecting how much sleep she needs at night. To help me get a clearer picture, could you jot down her daytime routine for me? Specifically:

• What time does she wake up? (From what you’ve written, it sounds like around 6:30 am.)
• When are her naps, how long do they last, and where is she sleeping for them?
• What time do you start bedtime? (The time you lay her down or begin settling her.)
• When does she fall into a deep sleep at night?

This will help us figure out if any adjustments might ease things for both of you.

Thanks,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

I’m really sorry to hear it’s been such a roller coaster for you lately—it sounds like you’ve had a lot on your plate.

Daycare illnesses are no joke (those daycare germs seem to hit the whole family, don’t they?).

It’s really common for little ones to bring home every bug in the beginning, but the good news is that as her immune system builds, these illnesses should become less frequent over time.

Unfortunately, these constant illnesses can definitely impact sleep. But the fact that she’s still able to self-settle for naps is a huge positive—it shows that she still has the skills, even if bedtime feels tricky right now. One night of being held while sick wouldn’t undo all the progress you’ve made.

Possible Reasons for Her Bedtime Resistance & Night Wakings

1. She’s Sick or Getting Sick
   Often, sleep challenges are one of the first signs that little ones might be coming down with something. You might notice a rough night or sudden bedtime resistance, and then a day or two later, the cough, runny nose, or fever shows up. Even minor discomfort at bedtime can feel overwhelming for them, leading to more protesting.

   Since you mentioned that one night, in particular, was especially challenging, my instinct is that she was probably feeling unwell or teething, even if it wasn’t obvious at the time. I know you mentioned she settled and fell asleep as soon as you picked her up that night, which made you wonder if discomfort was really the cause. But something to consider is—were you holding her upright or lying her down? If you were holding her upright, that position might have relieved some discomfort she was feeling.

   It might be helpful to track her difficult nights to see if a pattern emerges—does she start showing signs of illness a day or two after a particularly rough night?

   Also, on those especially hard nights, it could be worth checking with her doctor about safe pain relief options, in case discomfort is making it hard for her to settle.

2. She’s overtired

Since bedtime initially became easier after starting daycare, I’m less inclined to think overtiredness is the main cause at the moment. However, if she isn’t sick and this bedtime resistance continues for two weeks or more, overtiredness could definitely be contributing—especially since she’s now napping 2 hours less during the day at daycare.

When babies don’t get enough daytime sleep, it can lead to increased resistance at bedtime and more frequent night wakings.

To get a clearer picture, could you share what her current daytime routine looks like? Specifically:

• What time does she wake for the day? (I assume it’s still around 7:00–7:30 am?)
• When are her naps, and how long are they?
• What time is bedtime? (Is it still around 8:30 pm?)
• What time she fall asleep (so has her first long stretch of sleep overnight)

This will help me figure out if overtiredness might be playing a role and how we can adjust things to make bedtime easier. 😊

Thanks,
Emma