[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

Thanks so much for answering my questions, it really helped!

You mentioned that you’re currently settling her to sleep in your arms by rocking or bouncing her. One likely reason she’s waking up shortly after being placed in the bassinet during the day is that she’s becoming dependent on that movement to fall and stay asleep. This is also why she sleeps longer when contact napping—because you can continue rocking or bouncing when she stirs.

At night, she’s likely sleeping for longer stretches in the bassinet because her circadian rhythm and sleep pressure are working together to help her fall and stay asleep. During the day, only sleep pressure is at play, which means she stirs more easily.

The key to extending her naps is helping her learn to fall asleep in the bassinet itself. However, I completely understand that this may be too big of a step right now. A great in-between step is to gradually reduce the amount of movement she relies on while still letting her fall asleep in your arms.

Here’s how you can gently start this transition:

1️⃣ Follow your usual pre-sleep routine – Take her into her bedroom and swaddle her.
2️⃣ Hold her while rocking or bouncing and sing/hum a lullaby – This lullaby will become a sleep cue.
3️⃣ Once the lullaby ends, continue rocking or bouncing while shushing softly.
4️⃣ Gradually reduce movement – Stop rocking/bouncing but continue shushing while standing still.
5️⃣ Then, stop shushing and simply hold her still in your arms until she drifts off.
6️⃣ Once she’s asleep, gently lay her in the bassinet.

Since newborns spend half their sleep in light REM sleep, she may wake when you lay her down. If she does, try using the Settling Pyramid to help her fall back asleep. If she struggles to settle, you may need to try settling her directly in the bassinet using the Settling Pyramid from the start.

One thing to keep in mind is that babies usually find it easier to fall asleep for naps earlier in the day. As the day goes on, naps often become more challenging—especially around 8 weeks, when babies hit the peak of the Period of PURPLE Crying. Many babies experience a fussy, unsettled time in the late afternoon or early evening, which can make bassinet naps more difficult.

Because morning naps tend to be easier, you may want to start practicing either the Settling Pyramid or gradually reducing movement during these naps first. As you’re more likely to experience success with these naps.

Morning Wake-Up Time

Right now, it sounds like her wake-up time varies between 6:30 AM and 7:30 AM. Would you be open to narrowing this to a consistent 30-minute window, waking her by 7 AM at the latest?

This small adjustment can make a big difference in helping her circadian rhythm mature, as it’s still developing at this stage. A more consistent wake-up time will also help bedtime become more predictable, reducing any variability in her sleep schedule.

As she continues to grow, a set wake-up time will naturally help her first nap fall into a more predictable rhythm, making daytime sleep easier to manage.

Wake, Feed, Play, Sleep Routine

At 8 weeks of age, it’s completely normal for babies to only have a few wake windows throughout the day where they stay awake after a feed. So it’s fantastic that you’ve already been able to follow the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during these times!

As she gets older, you’ll notice more of these wake windows, until eventually, it becomes the norm—waking from a nap, feeding, playing, and then sleeping again. This natural progression will make daytime sleep patterns even more predictable over time.

Do these suggestions sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

There could be a number of reasons for this change, so to get a clearer idea of what might be happening, I just have a few quick questions:

• Does she have a consistent wake-up time? If so, what is it?
• Have you been able to start the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day?
• How are you settling her to sleep for naps and bedtime?
• Have you implemented a nap routine? If so, what does it look like?
• Have you implemented a bedtime routine? If so, what does it look like?
• Where does she sleep during the day? (e.g., Is the bassinet in a cool, dark, and quiet room?)
• How many naps is she having during the day?
• How long is she generally staying awake between naps?
• What time is her bedtime?
• Does she use a pacifier?
• Do you swaddle her?
• Is she waking overnight for a feed? If so, can you give me a rough idea of the times she wakes?
• When you say she is refusing to nap in the bassinet, is this happening for all naps or mainly towards the end of the day?

I completely understand how busy you must be with an 8-week-old, so I really appreciate you taking the time to answer these! Once I have a better idea of her sleep patterns and environment, I’ll be able to offer specific advice.

Sorry again,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Monica,

Thank you so much for answering those questions!

Since she’s already falling asleep on her own for naps and bedtime, I wouldn’t expect her to wake after every sleep cycle (as it seemed she did on the first night you recorded her wakings).

This has me wondering if one possible reason for the frequent night wakings could be related to her daytime naps. For some babies, being overtired during the day can impact their overnight sleep. I noticed that on the day she had three naps and a shorter wake window before bedtime (compared to the day she had only two naps), she had a longer stretch of sleep and woke just twice for feeds.

With that in mind, it might be helpful to focus on making her nap routine more consistent and capping her final nap. This would help bedtime consistently occur around 7:00 pm. Around 5–6 months, babies often start to develop a more regular nap schedule, and we can gently guide her toward that by:

1. Setting a Morning Wake-Up Time

   • Aim to have her wake no later than 6:30 am.

2. Timing the First Nap

   • Plan her first nap no earlier than 8:30 am. Given her typical 2-hour wake windows, this timing should work.

3. Capping the First Nap

   • If her first nap starts to run long, cap it at 10:30 am. This helps ensure the second nap begins around 12:30 pm at the latest.

4. Timing and Capping the Second Nap

   • Cap the second nap at 2:30 pm at the latest. This ensures there’s enough wake time before the final nap.

5. Managing the Final Nap

   • Plan for the third nap around 4:30 pm and cap it at 5:00 pm.

Now, if she doesn’t have two long naps in the morning and ends up needing four naps that day, that’s completely fine. Let her have the four naps, but be sure to cap the final nap by 5:00 pm. That said, if, on occasion, she doesn’t fall asleep for that last nap until closer to 5:00 pm, you can cap it at 5:30 pm and adjust her bedtime slightly later to 7:30 pm. Try to avoid letting her bedtime creep to 8:00 pm, as it’s important to keep bedtime within a consistent 30-minute window (7:00–7:30 pm) to support her sleep rhythm.

The other thing you mentioned is that you’re not entirely sure if she’s fully waking during her night feeds. One thing you could try, if you’re not already, is taking a moment to really listen and observe when she initially stirs overnight to ensure she’s actually awake.

As you know, babies stir between sleep cycles or during REM sleep, where they may move around or make noises but aren’t truly awake. Given the frequency of her overnight wake-ups, it does seem like she could be stirring between sleep cycles. So, you might find it helpful to wait until she cries out or shows clear signs of being awake before going in to feed her. Simply giving her a little space to resettle could naturally reduce the number of times she wakes during the night.

Also, I noticed that you mentioned, ‘Sometimes I will feed an hour or half hour before she goes back down. If she hasn’t had much of a feed before her night sleep, she often wakes after an hour or so. I go in, keep everything dark, keep the white noise on, feed her (she usually falls asleep), put her back on the bed, and leave.’

I was wondering how often this happens—how many nights a week does she wake up an hour after bedtime, and you feed her? I’m just trying to determine if this is a regular occurrence. If it’s happening most nights, it might indicate that we need to adjust her bedtime slightly or tweak her bedtime routine, so that a longer feed occurs at the start of the routine.

Are you happy to give these a try and let me know how it goes?

If they don’t seem to help, we can explore a few other strategies together.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Damen.

I have posted this reply in your earlier question – but just wanted to add it here to ensure you saw it. Hopefully, it makes sense and helps a little.

Hi Damen,

Firstly, congratulations on your beautiful boy! It sounds like you and your wife are doing an incredible job supporting him—7kg at 15 weeks is fantastic growth!

I completely understand how exhausting broken sleep can be, especially for your wife. And I am so sorry you’re both going through this at the moment.

From what you’ve shared, it sounds like your son’s overnight schedule looks like this:

• 7:00 pm – Bedtime
• 11:00 pm (ish) – Wakes for first overnight feed
• 1:00 am (ish) – Wakes for second overnight feed
• 2:00 am onwards – Wakes every hour for a feed until wake-up time, resulting in 4–5 more feeds.

Based on this, it sounds like your little one is having about 6–7 feeds overnight. Is that correct?

At this age, it’s common for babies to wake 1–2 times for a feed, so we can definitely start looking at ways to reduce the frequency of these wake-ups.

To help work towards this, I have a few questions. When you have time, could you let me know the following?

1. Can you describe his bedtime and nap routine?
2. You mentioned he falls asleep while eating—does this happen for all naps as well?
3. What time does he wake up in the morning? Is this time consistent?
4. During the day, have you been able to follow the wake, feed, play, and sleep routine?
5. How many naps is he having during the day, and where are these naps happening?
6. Where does he sleep overnight, and what is the room like (e.g., temperature, lighting, noise levels)?
7. Does he use a pacifier?
8. How long is he generally staying awake between naps?
9. When he wakes overnight, do you follow the wake, feed, sleep routine without changing his diaper unless necessary?

The answers to these questions will help me provide specific strategies to reduce the number of overnight feeds and increase the stretches of sleep you all get. But in the meantime, here are a few things that you can try:

• Set a Consistent Wake-Up Time (if you haven’t already)
  I know this can be tough, especially with frequent night wakings, but aiming for a consistent wake-up time (within a 30-minute window) will reset his circadian rhythm every day and help in it’s maturation. A mature circadian rhythm encourages wakefulness during the day and longer, more restful sleep overnight.

• Adjust the Bedtime Routine
  You mentioned that he often falls asleep while feeding, which might be contributing to his frequent night wakings. At the start of the night, deep sleep dominates, so babies can drift from one sleep cycle to the next without waking fully (meaning they tend to have a longer stretch at the start of the night). However, as the night progresses, light sleep and REM sleep dominate, especially in the early morning hours. During this time, if he’s used to falling asleep while feeding, when he wakes between sleep cycles (as we all do) he’s more likely to wake up fully and then call out for a feed to settle back to sleep.

  So if he is always falling asleep while feeding for all naps and bedtime, teaching him to fall asleep on his own can make a big difference. Once he learns this skill, he’ll be able to settle himself back to sleep during overnight wake-ups when he’s not hungry, leading to longer stretches of sleep and less feeds.

To help him learn this skill, would your wife be open to adjusting the nap and bedtime routine slightly? And by that, I mean beginning the nap and bedtime routine with a feed, but in a bright, active space with some background noise to discourage him from falling asleep during the feed.

After the feed, you could:

• Put him in his sleeping bag.
• Carry him into his room, dim the lights, and turn on a white noise machine (if you use one).
• Sing a lullaby while holding him in your arms.
• Lay him down in his sleep space and use the settling pyramid to guide him to sleep.

If you are both open to this but feel that making this change for all naps and bedtime would be too much at once, you could start with just his first nap of the day and/or bedtime. Babies often find it easier to settle for the first nap, and at bedtime, the combination of the circadian rhythm and sleep pressure working together (promoting sleep) makes it easier for them to fall asleep.

Does this sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Damen,

Firstly, congratulations on your beautiful boy! It sounds like you and your wife are doing an incredible job supporting him—7kg at 15 weeks is fantastic growth!

I completely understand how exhausting broken sleep can be, especially for your wife. And I am so sorry you’re both going through this at the moment.

From what you’ve shared, it sounds like your son’s overnight schedule looks like this:

• 7:00 pm – Bedtime
• 11:00 pm (ish) – Wakes for first overnight feed
• 1:00 am (ish) – Wakes for second overnight feed
• 2:00 am onwards – Wakes every hour for a feed until wake-up time, resulting in 4–5 more feeds.

Based on this, it sounds like your little one is having about 6–7 feeds overnight. Is that correct?

At this age, it’s common for babies to wake 1–2 times for a feed, so we can definitely start looking at ways to reduce the frequency of these wake-ups.

To help work towards this, I have a few questions. When you have time, could you let me know the following?

1. Can you describe his bedtime and nap routine?
2. You mentioned he falls asleep while eating—does this happen for all naps as well?
3. What time does he wake up in the morning? Is this time consistent?
4. During the day, have you been able to follow the wake, feed, play, and sleep routine?
5. How many naps is he having during the day, and where are these naps happening?
6. Where does he sleep overnight, and what is the room like (e.g., temperature, lighting, noise levels)?
7. Does he use a pacifier?
8. How long is he generally staying awake between naps?
9. When he wakes overnight, do you follow the wake, feed, sleep routine without changing his diaper unless necessary?

The answers to these questions will help me provide specific strategies to reduce the number of overnight feeds and increase the stretches of sleep you all get. But in the meantime, here are a few things that you can try:

• Set a Consistent Wake-Up Time (if you haven’t already)
  I know this can be tough, especially with frequent night wakings, but aiming for a consistent wake-up time (within a 30-minute window) will reset his circadian rhythm every day and help in it’s maturation. A mature circadian rhythm encourages wakefulness during the day and longer, more restful sleep overnight.

• Adjust the Bedtime Routine
  You mentioned that he often falls asleep while feeding, which might be contributing to his frequent night wakings. At the start of the night, deep sleep dominates, so babies can drift from one sleep cycle to the next without waking fully (meaning they tend to have a longer stretch at the start of the night). However, as the night progresses, light sleep and REM sleep dominate, especially in the early morning hours. During this time, if he’s used to falling asleep while feeding, when he wakes between sleep cycles (as we all do) he’s more likely to wake up fully and then call out for a feed to settle back to sleep.

  So if he is always falling asleep while feeding for all naps and bedtime, teaching him to fall asleep on his own can make a big difference. Once he learns this skill, he’ll be able to settle himself back to sleep during overnight wake-ups when he’s not hungry, leading to longer stretches of sleep and less feeds.

To help him learn this skill, would your wife be open to adjusting the nap and bedtime routine slightly? And by that, I mean beginning the nap and bedtime routine with a feed, but in a bright, active space with some background noise to discourage him from falling asleep during the feed.

After the feed, you could:

• Put him in his sleeping bag.
• Carry him into his room, dim the lights, and turn on a white noise machine (if you use one).
• Sing a lullaby while holding him in your arms.
• Lay him down in his sleep space and use the settling pyramid to guide him to sleep.

If you are both open to this but feel that making this change for all naps and bedtime would be too much at once, you could start with just his first nap of the day and/or bedtime. Babies often find it easier to settle for the first nap, and at bedtime, the combination of the circadian rhythm and sleep pressure working together (promoting sleep) makes it easier for them to fall asleep.

Does this sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

I’m so sorry to hear that the sleep pyramid hasn’t been working well for you and your husband.

Let’s see if we can turn things around!

I just have a few questions to better understand what’s happening:

Night Wakings

You mentioned she occasionally wakes between 3:00–5:00 am.

• When she wakes during this time, do you usually feed her, or do you try to shush and pat her back to sleep each time?
• If she doesn’t settle after an hour of patting and shushing, am I correct in thinking that you get up (sometimes as early as 4:00 am), put her in the sling, and walk around with her until her wake-up time at 6:30 am?
• How often does she wake during this window (e.g., how many nights per week)?

Bedtime

You mentioned that your husband does the pyramid at night if she doesn’t fall asleep during the final feed.

• When he does the pyramid, does she fall asleep in the crib, or does he have to climb the pyramid and then rock, hold or carry her around to get her to sleep?

Bedtime and Nap Routines

Could you describe what her nap and bedtime routines currently look like?

• Do you use the same routine when planning for her to sleep in the sling, or do you have a different approach? If it’s different, could you share what you typically do when she’s going to sleep in the sling?

Short Naps

At this age, short naps are very common, especially when your baby is sleeping in the crib. This happens because they aren’t yet able to connect their sleep cycles (as you already know). In the catnapping video, I talk about a method where you can try to extend their naps by entering the room before the first sleep cycle ends and recreating the conditions they associate with falling asleep. However, this doesn’t work for every baby.

It’s also worth noting that while babies often sleep for longer periods in a baby carrier, the quality of sleep may not be as restorative. This is because they adapt—or “habituate”—to the environment. Essentially, they’re working harder to stay asleep when we make sudden noises, move, or change direction. This is why they may sleep for longer stretches.

That said, if babywearing works for you and she’s happy after her naps, that’s fantastic! I just wanted to explain why naps in the sling might be longer.

Am I right in assuming that most of her naps, except for one (which is in the pram), are currently in the sling? You also mentioned that the second-to-last nap might be in the crib. How does your husband help her fall asleep for this nap?

Pacifier

Does she use a pacifier? If she does, do you find you need to keep popping it back in until she falls asleep?

Sorry for all the questions!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Joyce,

I’m so glad to hear that her nose has cleared up and she’s breathing more easily!

A constantly runny nose is super common when little ones start childcare, so I completely understand why you expected it to be a given.

I just have a few more questions, as I’m wondering if her frequent wake-ups at the beginning of the night are happening because she’s tired enough to fall asleep but not stay asleep. Basically, her sleep pressure might not be high enough to keep her asleep through the first part of the night.

I know her naps at childcare are unpredictable, but I imagine her first nap of the day is more consistent since her morning wake-up time stays the same. Based on when she wakes up, her first nap should ideally be around 9 AM. Is that already happening, or is there a way to ask childcare to help her fall asleep at that time?

Once her first nap becomes more consistent, the second and third naps should naturally fall into a more predictable pattern as well.

You mentioned she’s getting around 3 hours of sleep at childcare now. Can you tell me:

• How many naps she’s currently taking—has she dropped from 5 to 4?
• What time her last nap at childcare usually starts and ends?
• What time you typically pick her up from childcare and get home?

Bedtime Routine

Based on your previous messages, it sounds like her bedtime routine looks something like this:
– Nappy change
– PJs on
– Feed in the bedroom
– Read a book
– Play peaceful piano music
– Sleeping bag on
– Close the blinds & dim the lights
– Turn on white noise
– Sing a lullaby while rocking and patting
– Lay her down in the crib and apply the settling pyramid

Does that sound right?

Also, have you noticed a difference in how she falls asleep at bedtime and overnight on non-childcare days? If so, could you share what her weekend routine looks like? Specifically:

• How many naps she has on non-childcare days
• What time her final nap starts and ends
• What time bedtime usually is

I’m trying to determine if shifting her bedtime earlier to around 6:30–7 PM could help reduce her frequent wake-ups. The timing of her final nap at childcare will help me see if this is a feasible option.

Sorry for all the questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

Starting with option 1 sounds like a great plan, with the goal of gradually transitioning to option 2.

I agree that with her naps in the sling, she already has a solid nap routine. We just want to make some small adjustments to ensure she’s not getting too much sleep during the day, which will help her sleep better at night.

Let me know how things go—I’m here if you need any tweaks along the way!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

It’s so good to hear that your little one coped with the vaccines so well.

Also, thank you so much for sharing her nap schedule!

Based on what you’ve described, I’m assuming it looks something like this:

– 6:30am – Wake

– 8:30am – Nap 1 (90 mins to 2 hours)

– 10/10:30am – Wake

– 11:30/12 or 12/12:30pm – Nap 2 (up to 2 hours)

– 1:30/2 or 2/2:30pm – Wake

– 3/3:30 or 3:30/4pm – Nap 3 (~1 hour)

– 4/4:30 or 4:30/5pm – Wake

– 5:30/6 or 6/6:30pm – Nap 4 (possibly 1.5 hours)

– 7/7:30 or 7:30/8pm – Wake

– 9:35–11pm – Bedtime

Does this look right?

I also wanted to check:

– What happens if she skips the 5th nap? Does she go to bed earlier, and if so, at what time?

– How long is she usually awake before bedtime?

– You mentioned she’s 3 months old—did she just turn 3 months, or is she closer to 4 months?

Right now, it sounds like she’s getting about 7.5 hours of sleep overnight (11pm–6:30am) and over 6 hours of sleep during the day. This could mean she’s getting too much daytime sleep, which might be why she doesn’t need as much sleep at night and she is fighting bedtime so much.

Ideally, we want her to start sleeping longer stretches overnight—babies her age typically sleep 9–11 hours overnight, increasing to 10–12 hours by 4–6 months as daytime sleep decreases.

Six hours of daytime sleep is a lot at this stage and could be contributing to the bedtime battles and the frequent wakes immediately following bedtime.

Reducing her daytime naps might help her sleep longer at night.

I’ve outlined three different nap schedules below that could work for your little one. The best option depends on what fits your routine and what you feel your baby will adjust to most easily—since you know her needs and rhythms better than anyone!

Option 1: 4 Nap Schedule With The Current Bedtime

• 6:30am – Wake
• 8:30am – Nap 1 (max 1.5 hours)
• 10am – Wake
• 12pm – Nap 2 (max 2 hours)
• 2pm – Wake
• 4pm – Nap 3 (max 30 mins)
• 4:30pm – Wake
• 6:30pm – Nap 4 (max 30 mins)
• 7pm – Wake
• 9/9:30pm – Bedtime

Option 2: 4 Nap Schedule With An Earlier Bedtime

• 6:30am – Wake
• 8:30am – Nap 1 (max 1.5 hours)
• 10am – Wake
• 12pm – Nap 2 (max 1.5 hours)
• 1:30pm – Wake
• 3:30pm – Nap 3 (max 30 mins)
• 4pm – Wake
• 6pm – Nap 4 (max 30 mins)
• 6:30pm – Wake
• 8:30pm – Bedtime

Option 3: Trying a 3-Nap Schedule
If you’re open to an earlier bedtime, a 3-nap schedule could work well:

• 6:30am – Wake
• 8:30am – Nap 1 (max 2 hours)
• 10:30am – Wake
• 12:30pm – Nap 2 (max 2 hours)
• 2:30pm – Wake
• 4:30pm – Nap 3 (30–45 mins)
• 5/5:15pm – Wake
• 7/7:30pm – Bedtime

One more thing I wanted to mention—when starting this new nap routine, continue using the sling for her naps as you have been. Sing the bedtime song and gradually reduce your movement, singing, and rocking, so she starts falling asleep while you’re sitting or standing still. After you’ve followed the routine you choose for 1–2 weeks, we can then look at introducing the settling pyramid to help with naps.

Does this sound doable?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  andrew_h_admin.

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

I’m so sorry to hear that it’s been such a challenging weekend for you.

I know how exhausting and frustrating this must feel, and you’re doing an incredible job trying to navigate through it all.

One possible reason things were especially difficult this weekend—particularly at bedtime—could be the vaccines she received on Friday. It’s common for babies to be tired and a bit drowsy on the day of the vaccines, but then become unsettled afterward. This is often due to pain or tenderness at the injection site that can last for a few days. Additionally, some vaccines can cause a mild fever, both of which can make it harder for babies to settle and sleep.

The fact that she didn’t settle even after a feed on Saturday and Sunday nights—when she typically would—suggests that discomfort might be playing a role in her sleep challenges.

Did the nurse or doctor mention any pain relief options after the vaccines, or was she already having some pain relief at the time? If not, it might be worth checking in with your doctor to see if this could help make her more comfortable, especially if she’s still unsettled over the next few days.

Since she may be experiencing some discomfort, you might consider pausing the sleep routine for a few days and resuming it once she’s likely feeling better. Or, if you prefer, you can continue with the routine, knowing she might just need extra comfort and support right now.

It’s possible that the 6 hours of daytime sleep could be affecting how much sleep she needs at night. To help me get a clearer picture, could you jot down her daytime routine for me? Specifically:

• What time does she wake up? (From what you’ve written, it sounds like around 6:30 am.)
• When are her naps, how long do they last, and where is she sleeping for them?
• What time do you start bedtime? (The time you lay her down or begin settling her.)
• When does she fall into a deep sleep at night?

This will help us figure out if any adjustments might ease things for both of you.

Thanks,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

I’m really sorry to hear it’s been such a roller coaster for you lately—it sounds like you’ve had a lot on your plate.

Daycare illnesses are no joke (those daycare germs seem to hit the whole family, don’t they?).

It’s really common for little ones to bring home every bug in the beginning, but the good news is that as her immune system builds, these illnesses should become less frequent over time.

Unfortunately, these constant illnesses can definitely impact sleep. But the fact that she’s still able to self-settle for naps is a huge positive—it shows that she still has the skills, even if bedtime feels tricky right now. One night of being held while sick wouldn’t undo all the progress you’ve made.

Possible Reasons for Her Bedtime Resistance & Night Wakings

1. She’s Sick or Getting Sick
   Often, sleep challenges are one of the first signs that little ones might be coming down with something. You might notice a rough night or sudden bedtime resistance, and then a day or two later, the cough, runny nose, or fever shows up. Even minor discomfort at bedtime can feel overwhelming for them, leading to more protesting.

   Since you mentioned that one night, in particular, was especially challenging, my instinct is that she was probably feeling unwell or teething, even if it wasn’t obvious at the time. I know you mentioned she settled and fell asleep as soon as you picked her up that night, which made you wonder if discomfort was really the cause. But something to consider is—were you holding her upright or lying her down? If you were holding her upright, that position might have relieved some discomfort she was feeling.

   It might be helpful to track her difficult nights to see if a pattern emerges—does she start showing signs of illness a day or two after a particularly rough night?

   Also, on those especially hard nights, it could be worth checking with her doctor about safe pain relief options, in case discomfort is making it hard for her to settle.

2. She’s overtired

Since bedtime initially became easier after starting daycare, I’m less inclined to think overtiredness is the main cause at the moment. However, if she isn’t sick and this bedtime resistance continues for two weeks or more, overtiredness could definitely be contributing—especially since she’s now napping 2 hours less during the day at daycare.

When babies don’t get enough daytime sleep, it can lead to increased resistance at bedtime and more frequent night wakings.

To get a clearer picture, could you share what her current daytime routine looks like? Specifically:

• What time does she wake for the day? (I assume it’s still around 7:00–7:30 am?)
• When are her naps, and how long are they?
• What time is bedtime? (Is it still around 8:30 pm?)
• What time she fall asleep (so has her first long stretch of sleep overnight)

This will help me figure out if overtiredness might be playing a role and how we can adjust things to make bedtime easier. 😊

Thanks,
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Monica,

It’s great to hear that the last few nights have been much better! I’m also really impressed that you’ve already made the changes we discussed—you’re amazing.

Bedtime Routine & Ensuring She’s Full

To make sure she’s full before bedtime, I do recommend incorporating a feed into the bedtime routine. So it might look a little like this:

– (+/- bath)
– Diaper change & pajamas
– Feed (in a brightly lit room—this can be in the bedroom, but if she starts to doze off, you may want to do this last feed in the living room where there’s more activity)
– Move to the bedroom, close blinds/curtains
– Put her in a sleeping bag
– Turn on white noise
– Sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
– Lay her down in the crib awake

If she falls asleep quickly after being put to bed—great! However, if you notice that she’s still awake after 20 minutes (which is normal, as it can take babies up to 20 minutes to fall asleep), I’d recommend going in and offering a top-up feed. Just make sure to note down the time she actually falls asleep.

Figuring Out Why She’s Staying Awake at Bedtime

Right now, I’m not sure if she’s staying awake after bedtime because she isn’t quite tired enough, or if it’s because she’s still hungry.

Over the next few days, as you track:
– What time her last nap ends
– What time she falls into a deep sleep at night

We should be able to figure out whether we need to adjust her bedtime or cap the final nap to help her settle more easily at bedtime.

Let me know how things go! 😊
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Damen,

Thanks for the update!

It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job supporting him, especially with his colic and possible teething—it’s great that you’re using Infacol, massage, and exercises to help.

From what you’ve shared, colic could be affecting his sleep, and if teething has started, that discomfort might be disrupting his sleep as well.

Teething pain is usually temporary, lasting just a few days as the tooth breaks through the gum line—it shouldn’t persist for weeks. If you suspect discomfort is waking him, it might be helpful to check in with his nurse or doctor about pain relief options.

Another likely reason for frequent wake-ups is that he’s learned to fall asleep while feeding.

In the newborn stage, falling asleep while feeding is completely normal and doesn’t always impact sleep. But between 3–5 months, babies’ sleep patterns mature. Instead of cycling through just two sleep stages, they transition between four distinct stages of sleep.

Their cycle begins with two lighter phases of non-REM (NREM) sleep (Stages 1 and 2), followed by a deeper sleep phase (Stages 3 and 4 of NREM). The cycle then ends with REM sleep. After REM sleep, babies naturally wake up briefly to check their surroundings—this is something we all do. If everything is the same as when they first fell asleep and they’re still tired, they’ll usually drift back into another sleep cycle.

However, if something has changed—like they’re no longer being held, rocked, or fed—and they rely on these things to fall asleep, they might wake fully and call out for help to settle back to sleep.

These brief wake-ups typically happen every 1 to 1.5 hours at night, and most babies follow one of two patterns:

1. Longer Stretch of Sleep at the Start of the Night – Many babies begin the night with a few hours of deep, uninterrupted sleep. This happens because sleep pressure is high, and their internal clock signals that it’s time to rest. However, as the night goes on, sleep pressure decreases, and they enter lighter sleep stages more frequently. This often leads to wake-ups at fairly predictable intervals—every 1 to 1.5 hours in the early morning hours.

2. Frequent Wake-Ups All Night – Some babies wake fully at the end of every sleep cycle (roughly every 1 to 1.5 hours) throughout the entire night.

From what you’ve described, his overnight sleep looks like this:

• 7:00 pm – Bedtime
• 11:00 pm (ish) – Wakes for first overnight feed
• 1:00 am (ish) – Wakes for second overnight feed
• 2:00 am onwards – Wakes every hour for a feed until wake-up time (4–5 more feeds)

This pattern closely matches the first sleep pattern, where babies start the night with a longer stretch of sleep but wake more frequently as the night progresses.

Right now, he associates feeding with falling asleep, so when he wakes between sleep cycles, he naturally looks for that same comfort to settle back to sleep. This is why he’s waking so frequently in the early morning hours.

To reduce the number of overnight wake-ups, the goal is to teach him how to fall asleep in his crib or co-sleeper without feeding to sleep.

Once he learns to settle independently, he’ll be able to connect his sleep cycles on his own—leading to longer, more restful stretches of sleep for all of you!

The way you can teach him to fall asleep in his crib or co-sleeper is by doing two things:

1. Tweaking the Nap and Bedtime Routine

Right now, his pre-sleep routine looks like this:
– Walking into your room
– Feeding in a dark room (usually falls asleep)
– Rocking or patting while holding him upright
– Laying him in the crib asleep

To help him learn to fall asleep in his crib on his own, we need to make sure he is awake when you lay him down, giving him the opportunity to settle himself.

One simple way to encourage this is by feeding him in a bright, active space (instead of the bedroom) to help keep him awake during feeds.

Something to note is that babies can appear awake and feeding when they’re actually asleep because they often continue a sucking motion even after drifting off. A good way to check if he’s actively feeding is to listen for a swallow every few sucks. If you don’t hear swallowing, he’s likely asleep.

Then after the feed, you could:

• Put him in his sleeping bag (this will make him more alert if he is super drowsy after the feed)
• Carry him into your room.
• Sing a lullaby while holding him in your arms
• Lay him down in his sleep space
• Then following the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep.

Would you feel comfortable giving this a try?

2. Try Spacing Feeds Away from Naps

At this age, babies can typically go 3–4 hours between feeds. Often, they feed just before naps not because they’re truly hungry, but because they’re tired and have learned to associate feeding with falling asleep.

Would you be open to trying a wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day?

If you give this a go, you might find that:
– He is more settled between feeds
– His colic symptoms improve, since there’s a longer gap between feeding and sleeping

In addition to doing these two things, there are a few other things that will help:

Wait, Watch, Listen When He Stirs Overnight

As he’s learning to fall asleep on his own in the crib, try to wait, watch, and listen when he first starts to stir or make noises at night. This will help you determine whether he is:

• Transitioning between sleep cycles
• In REM sleep (light sleep, where movement and noises are common)
• Truly awake and needing your attention

If you determine that he’s fully awake and hungry, go ahead and feed him while following the wake, feed, sleep routine.

Over time, as he learns to settle himself to sleep, he’ll begin linking sleep cycles more consistently overnight. This should naturally lead to fewer night wakings, with the first stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night typically lengthening first.

Daytime Naps

One important thing to keep in mind is that when you’re settling him in the crib using the settling pyramid for naps, it’s very likely he’ll wake after just one sleep cycle (which typically lasts 30–45 minutes during the day). This is exactly what you’ve been noticing, and it’s completely normal at this age.

Right now, he isn’t developmentally ready to consistently link sleep cycles during naps on his own—this usually starts happening between 5–6 months. However, for him to start extending his naps and sleeping longer stretches during the day, he will need to learn how to fall asleep independently.

Once he can do this his naps should automatically start to lengthen.

Wake Windows

If you’re using the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep for naps and he only sleeps for 30 minutes, his next wake window will likely need to be shorter to prevent overtiredness. Even with shorter wake windows, he will likely still need around 4- 5 naps a day at this stage.

Keep Morning Wake-Up Time Within a 30-Minute Window

His wake-up time currently varies between 7:30–8:30 am, depending on how often he wakes in the early morning hours. I know it’s tough—especially after a night of frequent wake-ups—but narrowing that window to a consistent 30-minute range each morning is really important.

A predictable wake-up time helps regulate his circadian rhythm, making bedtimes more predictable and encouraging longer, more restful sleep at night.

It might feel challenging at first, but this small change can make a big difference in improving overnight sleep—for all of you!

Do these things sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

I’m sorry that last night was tough, but the silver lining is that she was able to fall asleep for that last wake with just shushing and patting—that’s a great step forward! I really hope you’re not feeling too exhausted today.

It’s great that you’ve been able to track what might be causing her gassiness, though I know it must be frustrating that it’s the food you were looking forward to eating again after pregnancy! But it’s amazing that you’re willing to hold off on those foods for a bit to see if it makes a difference. Let me know if you notice any changes!

I have been thinking about ways to make the settling pyramid work for your little one and have a few suggestions which I have outlined below.

Timing of Bedtime and the Last Nap

You mentioned that she often wakes 5 minutes after falling asleep at bedtime and continues to wake a few times before settling into a deep sleep. This suggests she might not be quite tired enough to stay asleep right away. Two possible reasons for this:

• Her final nap may be ending too close to bedtime, meaning she hasn’t had enough awake time to build up sleep pressure.
• Her bedtime might be slightly too early.

To figure out which one it might be, would you be happy to track this for the next 3–5 days? Specifically:

• What time does her final nap end?
• What time does she actually settle into deep sleep for the night (not just bedtime, but when she falls asleep and stays asleep)?

With this info, we should be able to pinpoint what’s causing these frequent wake-ups at bedtime and make adjustments to help prevent them.

Practicing the Settling Pyramid at Bedtime

It sounds like the settling pyramid is working better at night than for naps, which makes sense—at bedtime, both the circadian rhythm and sleep pressure work together, signalling to the body that it’s time to sleep. During the day, only sleep pressure is at play, which can make naps trickier.

Would you be happy to practice the settling pyramid each night at bedtime? Once she learns to fall asleep in the crib on her own at bedtime, it should help reduce overnight wake-ups, as she’ll be able to connect sleep cycles and settle back to sleep more easily. It should also make it easier to use the settling pyramid for naps since she’ll already be familiar with it.

I know that keeping her awake during the final feed can be challenging at 3 months old, but a few things that might help include:

• Feeding her in a bright, active room to discourage dozing off.
• Once the feed is finished, putting her in her sleeping bag (which may help wake her up slightly) and carrying her into her room.
• Turning off the lights and singing a lullaby (ideally the same one each night to create a sleep cue).
• Placing her in her crib and using the settling pyramid to help her drift off.

Would you feel comfortable giving this a try?

Naps

Since she has started sucking her hand, letting that hand be free is a great idea! She may begin using it to self-soothe, which can make falling asleep much easier and help her settle more independently.

From your description, I understand that using the settling pyramid for daytime naps might be a bit too challenging right now. A gentler first step is to help her get used to falling asleep without constant movement, which will make transitioning to the settling pyramid much easier when the time comes.

If she’s sleeping in the sling, you could try this gradual approach:

1. Put her in the sling and start walking around her room.
2. Sing a lullaby (ideally the same one used at bedtime, so it becomes a sleep cue).
3. Pat her back or bottom while walking.
4. Pause the movement—stand still while continuing to pat her back or bottom.
5. Start shushing while patting.
6. Gradually reduce input—first stop patting while continuing to shush, then stop shushing altogether, and let her fall asleep.

This gradual approach helps her learn to fall asleep without movement, patting, or noise, making it easier to transition to the settling pyramid when you’re ready.

After a few days of this approach, you could try using the settling pyramid for her first nap again. To make the transition smoother, you might:

• Put her in the sleeping bag before entering the bedroom and walk around with her in a bright, active space for a little while to help her calm down.
• Then head to the bedroom, turn off the lights, and complete the nap routine before placing her in the crib and using the settling pyramid.

If she becomes upset when you do this and you can’t put her in the crib and attempt the settling pyramid, you could try an even gentler transition:

• Put her in the sleeping bag before entering the bedroom and walk around with her in a bright, active space for a little while to help her calm down.
• Then head to the bedroom, turn off the lights, and walk around while singing the lullaby and patting her back or bottom.
• Stop walking around and just continue patting and singing the lullaby.
• Stop singing the lullaby and start shushing and patting.
• Stop patting and just continue shushing.
• Stop shushing and let her fall asleep in your arms.

Since this approach requires holding her for a while, it might be something your husband tries if that works for you both.

A quick note: If you transfer her to the crib after she falls asleep, she may wake upon transfer. If she stays asleep, she’s likely to sleep for only one sleep cycle, which is completely normal at this stage.

Does this sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions—I really appreciate it!

I’m going to take a little time to think about what you’ve shared and come up with some strategies to help. I’ll get back to you with my suggestions before the end of the day (within the next 8 hours).

I hope that’s okay.
Emma