[Emma H]

Hi Camilla,

I’m really glad the videos and course have been helpful for you and your daughter.

I’m so happy to hear that she’s doing well and that the darkened naps have made such a positive difference. It sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job!

Now, to address your questions:

Managing Naps While Out & About:

If you’re out for the whole day, it could definitely affect her sleep and mood, both that day and at night. But if it’s just a short outing and she gets her usual naps before and after, the impact should be pretty minimal.

You might find it takes a bit more effort to settle her while you’re out, but if she’s tired, she’ll eventually drift off.

Another idea is, if you have a bassinet pram, you could take her regular swaddle or sleeping bag along. When it’s nap time, stick to your usual routine—get her swaddled or dressed in the sleeping bag, then lay her down in the pram bassinet to sleep. If you don’t have a bassinet pram, babywearing can be a great option when you’re out and about!

Purple Crying/Witching Hour:

Since the evening fussiness happens around the same time each day, it’s probably the Period of PURPLE Crying or the “witching hour.” It’s totally normal and usually peaks between 6-8 weeks, then slowly fades away by 3-4 months. The good news is it’s just a developmental phase, and it will pass, even with a well-rested and well-fed baby.

Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do to prevent it, but soothing techniques like gentle rocking, white noise, or swaddling can help ease things. In the Period of PURPLE Crying video in the course, I go through some strategies that might help. It sounds like you might already be doing some of them, which is great!
But if you haven’t seen it yet it might be worth checking out.

Long-Haul Travel: I understand your concerns about the long flight and jet lag, especially when she’s 5 months old. Before I can provide advice though, are you comfortable letting me know what country you’re flying into first? This will let me work out the time difference and what you might be able to do.

Thanks

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Emily,

I’m so sorry for the delayed response! For some reason, your post just showed up today.

First off, I just have to say, you’ve been amazing over the last 9 weeks! I can only imagine how stressful and overwhelming it must have been trying to figure out the gassiness and all the breastfeeding challenges. And to do it all while getting little sleep is impressive!

It’s also great that you’ve already identified the milk protein intolerance and made the necessary adjustments to your diet. I’m curious—when did you make this change?

You mentioned that feeding is still taking some time. Could you share how long it’s currently taking to feed your little one? Additionally, how is his weight tracking? Is he gaining at the expected rate and following his growth curve?

In regards to suggestions to help him settle to sleep for naps, I just have a few questions:

• You mentioned he is currently falling asleep for naps while feeding. I was wondering if he can fall asleep in your arms without a feed at all. So are you able to hold him in your arms and rock him to sleep or does it always have to be with a feed?
• You mentioned you’re following the nap and bedtime routine I outline in the course but he will only fall asleep while feeding. Can you describe what his nap routine is and where the feed fits in?
• You mentioned you have been trying the pyramid to help him to learn to self soothe but within 5 minutes he is screaming again. Does that mean you can get him to fall asleep in the crib using the settling pyramid and he wakes 5 minutes later or does he not fall asleep at all?
• When swaddling, are his arms positioned down by his sides or up by his face?
• You mentioned his bedtime is around 9-9:30 pm. Could you describe his bedtime routine and how you settle him to sleep at bedtime?
• Can you tell me how he’s sleeping overnight? Specifically, what’s the timing of his overnight feeds?
• During the night, is he sleeping in his crib, or is he on you?
• Does he have a consistent wake-up time? If so, when does he usually wake up?
• How long is he staying awake between naps before needing to sleep again?
• When he falls asleep for a nap, do you hold him the entire time, or do you place him in the crib?
• How long is he going between feeds during the day?
• Does your little one have breastmilk from the bottle at all? If he does how long does this feed take?
• Can you let me know how many naps he is having during the day and the general length of these naps?

Another thing to keep in mind is that at 9 weeks, he’s likely hitting the peak of the Period of PURPLE Crying. This could help explain why he had such a tough time settling in your arms the other day for over 40 minutes. During this phase, which often peaks in the late afternoon and evening, babies can become incredibly difficult to soothe.

I also wanted to check in—other than the afternoon fussiness, is he generally happy when he’s awake? Or do you find that he’s often unsettled, even when he’s sleeping, like squirming or showing signs of discomfort?

Sorry for all the questions! Once I have this information, I’ll be able to offer more specific advice on how we can help him start falling asleep in the crib instead of while feeding—so you can get some much-needed rest too!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Yana,

It’s wonderful to hear that your little one is sleeping so well overnight—that’s such a great start!

To help me provide the best advice for settling him for naps without tears, I’d love to get a bit more information. I’ve listed a few questions below. When you get a chance, could you please let me know your thoughts?

1. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like your nap time routine might look something like this:

– Closing the curtains (Is this in the bedroom?)

– Dressing him in his Love to Dream Swaddle (Also in the bedroom?)

– Turning on the white noise machine

– Rocking him until he calms down, then standing still until he falls asleep in your arms

– Laying him down in the crib

Is that right?

2. When he cries, is it more of an inconsolable cry, or does it sound like a protest cry with bursts rather than continuous crying?

3. Have you noticed if he seems happier (in that he doesn’t cry as much) when you hold him upright in your arms for naps, compared to when he’s lying down in your arms?

4. Does he use a pacifier at all?

5. You mentioned he takes 2 x 40-minute naps and a few shorter 20-minute naps. Is he currently having about 5 naps a day?

6. Have you been able to follow a wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day?

7. It sounds like he typically starts his day at 7:30 am. Is this a consistent wake-up time for him?

8. How does he go to sleep at night? Does he cry then too? I’d love to hear more about his bedtime routine.

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer these questions!

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Marien,

At 3 weeks old, wake windows can vary quite a bit since sleep pressure is the main driver of sleep. Essentially, babies will fall asleep when their “sleep fuel” is full. At this age, the best approach is to combine wake windows with sleep cues and their natural rhythm to determine when they’re ready for sleep.

Have you had a chance to watch the video titled “Using Cues to Determine When Your Baby Is Tired”? In this video, I break down how to recognise and use these cues to help your little one settle at the right time.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Marien!

I’m so glad you’ve been finding the videos helpful!

To answer your question—letting your little one sleep on you is totally fine! Contact naps, skin-to-skin, and babywearing are all great ways to provide comfort and connection, and they won’t prevent your baby from learning to sleep in their crib.

That being said, you don’t want every nap to be on you, simply because you want to give your baby plenty of opportunities to practice falling asleep in their crib as well. The goal is to find a balance—enjoying those snuggly naps when you want to, while also helping your baby develop the skills to settle independently over time.

When your baby does sleep in the crib, you can support them using the settling pyramid—responding to their needs while gradually helping them learn to fall asleep with less and less help.

So no need to second-guess those contact naps—they’re totally okay! Just aim to mix in some crib naps too, so your little one has lots of opportunity to practice falling in the crib.

Hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Ingrid,

Firstly, congratulations! I’m so excited for you, and I really hope everything goes smoothly with your delivery!

Regarding the sleep positioner, they’re not recommended for sleep at all—even if you’re watching your baby—due to safety risks. However, if you’re considering something like a baby nest to place your newborn in while they’re awake and playing (to make the floor more comfortable), that would be okay, as long as you ensure they don’t fall asleep in it.

That said, if you’re simply looking for a safe and comfortable place to lay your baby on the floor for playtime, a baby gym or play mat would be a much better option. These provide a safe space for your little one, can be used for months, and—especially in the case of a baby gym—offer lots of developmental benefits as they start reaching, kicking, and interacting with the hanging toys.

Wishing you all the best in these final days before you meet your little one!

Let me know if you have any other questions. 😊

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

It’s great to hear that her wake windows and naps are starting to lengthen!

I’m also glad that you haven’t noticed much leg movement when she’s falling asleep—it’s a positive sign.

One thing you might want to consider is sharing the settling pyramid PDF with her daycare carer and walking them through it. Since she’s currently being rocked to sleep, it could be an easy switch for them to try the pyramid method instead.

Let me know how the earlier bedtime goes once you’ve had a chance to try it!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

Andrew told me there was a formatting error, but it’s fixed now which is great!

And it’s even better that you received the message when I originally posted it.

It’s wonderful to hear that you’re already implementing the suggestions, and it really sounds like bedtime is moving in the right direction. The fact that she’s starting to self-soothe and suck her fingers is such a positive step!

Once she fully learns how to fall asleep on her own, you should start to see longer stretches of sleep. Typically, the first stretch of sleep extends first, which naturally pushes that initial overnight feed later and later.

Regarding the 5 a.m. wake-up, it’s absolutely fine to help her back to sleep until her usual wake-up time. For now, I’d focus on:

• Encouraging her to fall asleep independently in the crib at bedtime.
• Taking a moment to pause when she stirs overnight. This will help you determine whether she’s fully awake and needing a feed, or just briefly rousing between sleep cycles or during REM sleep.

If you’re comfortable with it, I’d suggest sticking with this approach for the next two weeks. If she’s still waking at 5 a.m. after that, we can explore some additional tweaks to help her sleep until 6 a.m.

It’s also fantastic that you’ve made adjustments to the nap routine as well!

Does this sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

I am so sorry. I was sure I posted the reply below last night but it doesn’t seem to have gone through. So I am so sorry for taking so long to respond.

Hi Rita,

Thanks for taking the time to answer all my questions!

Looking back through our chat, it does seem like bedtime has improved—she’s now falling asleep earlier (8:30/9 PM compared to 10:30/11 PM), and she’s settling easily, which is great!

However, you’re absolutely right that the stretches between her overnight feeds have shortened.

Since she’s waking and immediately falling back asleep after her first and second feeds—and not staying awake for long periods—it’s unlikely that she’s waking more frequently because she isn’t tired. Instead, her sleep pattern suggests she may be waking between sleep cycles and needing assistance to fall back asleep.

At this age (4 months), babies’ sleep cycles shift from two stages to four between 3–5 months. At the end of each cycle, they may briefly wake. If a baby knows how to fall asleep independently, they typically stir and then settle themselves back to sleep. However, if they rely on being held or rocked, these brief wake-ups can turn into full awakenings, requiring help to fall back asleep.

If this is what’s happening, we typically see one of two patterns:

1. The baby wakes every two hours throughout the night.
2. The baby has a longer stretch of sleep at the start of the night but then wakes every two hours afterward.

Your little one seems to follow the second pattern. Additionally, when babies wake between 4–6 AM, it can be especially difficult to get them back to sleep. At this point, their sleep pressure is lower after 8+ hours of rest, and their circadian rhythm naturally encourages wakefulness—often leading to early morning starts.

How to Lengthen Her Sleep Stretches

To help her sleep longer overnight and encourage her to sleep past 5 AM, the key will be teaching her to fall asleep independently in the crib. Once she masters this skill, she’ll be able to resettle herself between sleep cycles.

Since bedtime is now happening consistently around 8:30/9 PM, would you be open to trying the settling pyramid at bedtime? Instead of singing the lullaby until she becomes drowsy before laying her down, you could try singing the lullaby just once and then placing her in the crib while she is awake.

If that feels too challenging right now, you could take a more gradual approach—similar to what we discussed for naps. This might look like:

• Feeding her in a bright, active room to discourage dozing off.
• Once the feed is finished, putting her in her sleeping bag (which may help wake her slightly) and carrying her into her room.
• Turning off the lights and singing a lullaby (just once).
• Walking while patting her back or bottom.
• Standing still while continuing to pat.
• Introducing shushing while patting.
• Stopping patting while continuing to shush,
• Stopping shushing altogether and letting her fall asleep.

As we discussed previously, this approach helps her learn to fall asleep without movement, patting, or noise, making it easier to transition to the settling pyramid when you’re ready.

One thing to keep in mind: while this gradual method will help her get used to falling asleep without movement, we likely won’t see changes in her overnight sleep just yet, since she’s still falling asleep while being held. Her sleep stretches are more likely to increase once she starts settling to sleep in her crib.

A Small Tweak for Daytime Naps

Another small adjustment you could try is shortening the time you spend dancing in a bright room before naps. This way, when you take her to her bedroom for her nap, you can gradually reduce movement and patting, helping her fall asleep while you’re standing or sitting still.

Does this sound possible?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

Thanks so much for tracking this data—I really appreciate the effort you’ve put into it!

From what you’ve collected, it looks like the length of the wake window before bedtime isn’t making it easier for her to fall asleep or stay asleep. In fact, when she had a longer wake window of 2 hours and 40 minutes, her sleep at the start of the night seemed more disrupted.

Possible Reasons for Frequent Wake-Ups at the Start of the Night

In general, there are four common reasons why babies wake frequently early in the night:

1. Difficulty Linking Sleep Cycles – If a baby hasn’t yet learned to fall asleep independently, they often wake predictably between sleep cycles, needing assistance (rocking, feeding, pacifier, etc.) to fall back asleep. However, since your little one is self-settling for naps on the weekend and at bedtime initially—and her night wakings are unpredictable—it’s unlikely this is the cause.

   On that note, do you know how the childcare staff are helping her fall asleep? Are they holding her, patting her in the crib, or feeding her to sleep?

   Also, I noticed she tends to nap around 3–3:30 PM at childcare. Do they attempt to put her down again around 5 PM, or do they keep her awake until you pick her up at 5:30 PM?

2. Discomfort or Pain – When babies wake due to discomfort, their wake-ups don’t follow a pattern and happen at random times.

   You previously mentioned that she’s generally happy and content during the day—is that still the case? Also, when she’s falling asleep, have you noticed her legs constantly moving or “jumping around”?

3. Bedtime Being Too Late – If a baby is overtired, falling asleep and staying asleep can be more difficult.

4. Hunger – Since her final feed is part of the bedtime routine, I wouldn’t expect hunger to wake her just 45 minutes later. It’s possible she might wake 3 hours later due to hunger, but not so soon after bedtime.

   Do you still feed her overnight? For breastfed babies, waking 1–2 times overnight for a feed is typical.

One thing I noticed is that even on the weekend—when her nap schedule is more predictable—her last nap in the crib was around 5–5:40 PM, and she had her usual feed/sleep at 6–6:20 PM. Yet, with bedtime at 8:18 PM, she still didn’t enter a deep sleep until around 11 PM.

Given this, I think it would be worth trying an earlier bedtime this weekend to see if that results in a longer initial stretch of sleep. If it does, that would suggest her disrupted sleep at the start of the night is due to overtiredness.

Since she’s now around 5 months old, her wake windows are likely lengthening, and as a result, she should be dropping down to four naps a day. It’s also common for them to need an earlier bedtime.

If you’re open to trying this, you could follow the 4-nap schedule I outlined in a previous message, or simply cap her final nap in the crib at 5:30 PM at the latest. This way, she could nap from 5–5:30 PM and then go to bed at 7:30 PM.

With either option, we want to avoid her falling asleep during the 6 PM feed. To help with this, you could try feeding her in a bright, busy room to keep her awake. Alternatively, you might consider dropping that feed and instead making it part of the bedtime routine—so for a 7 PM bedtime, you’d feed her around 6:30–6:40 PM.

What do you think?
Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

Before I dive into your question, I just have a few quick things to clarify since it’s been a little while since we last spoke.

• Based on my calculations, is your little one around 4 months old now?

• From what you’ve described, it sounds like her overnight sleep pattern looks something like this:

  Bedtime: 8:30/9:00 pm
  1st feed: Between 11:30 pm – 1:00 am
  2nd feed: Between 2:30 – 3:30 am
  3rd feed: Between 5:00 – 5:50 am

Does that sound about right? You didn’t mean that she is awake from 11:30pm until 1am did you?

If this overnight sleep pattern is right, it looks like she’s initially getting a longer stretch of sleep (around 3–4.5 hours) but then waking every 2 hours after that. This pattern suggests she may be waking between sleep cycles overnight and needing help to fall back asleep.

I was wondering—how are you currently settling her to sleep? I am assuming she’s napping in the sling during the day, but when she’s placed in the crib for naps or at bedtime, is she being held or fed to sleep? Have you been able to try the settling pyramid for any of her sleeps, and if so, how is that going? And have you been able to pair back the movement when you are settling her to sleep in the sling?

You also mentioned that you’re following sleep schedule option 2 with some minor tweaks due to the early morning wake-ups. Could you share what her nap routine looks like, including how long she’s sleeping for each nap?

And lastly, you mentioned that her wake windows have shortened—how long are they currently?

Sorry for all the questions! Just want to make sure I have all the details so I can give you the best advice.

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

It’s great to hear that you’re already implementing my suggestions and that you’ve found an ideal wake-up time and bedtime for your little one!

Based on what you’ve shared, I do think she may be ready to transition to four naps a day. To make this shift smoothly, I recommend gradually stretching her wake windows so that her last nap doesn’t end too early, leaving her overtired before bedtime.

Right now, it looks like her wake windows are around 40 minutes to an hour. Over the next few days, you could see how she tolerates being awake for 1 hour to 1 hour and 15 minutes at a time.

If she adjusts well, her schedule might start to look like this:

• Nap 1: 8:30 AM for 1 hour, 40 minutes (gradually shifting closer to 9 AM in the coming weeks)
• Nap 2: 11:20 AM for 1 hour
• Nap 3: 1:40 PM for 40 minutes
• Nap 4: 3:30 PM for 40 minutes

With this schedule, she’d wake up around 4:10 PM, which is still a long stretch before her 6:30 PM bedtime. Until she’s fully adjusted to longer wake windows, you may need to move bedtime slightly earlier to help her make it through to bedtime without becoming overtired.

That said, if you feel like transitioning to four naps is too challenging right now, it’s completely okay to keep a fifth nap—especially as a contact nap—until she’s ready for longer wake windows.

I hope this helps,
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

I’m so glad to hear that the suggestions sound doable!
In regards to your questions, I have answered them below. Please let me know if they don’t make sense or you would like me to explain something better.

Early Morning Wake-Ups

How you respond to early wake-ups depends on how much earlier she wakes:
– If she wakes around 6:00 AM: I’d recommend just starting the day when she wakes. It’s very common for babies to begin their day between 6:00-7:00 AM, as this aligns with their natural rhythm.

– If she wakes before 5:30 AM: Try treating it as a night wake-up rather than morning. Keep the lights low or off, offer a feed if needed, and follow the wake-feed-sleep routine outlined in the course. This will encourage her to return to sleep rather than starting the day too early.

Next Steps for Independent Sleep

Once she’s used to falling asleep without movement in your arms, the next step is to:
– Complete her usual nap or bedtime routine as you’ve been doing.
– After singing the lullaby, instead of holding her until she falls asleep, lay her in the bassinet while she’s still awake.
– Use the Settling Pyramid to help her fall asleep in the bassinet on her own.

This gradual transition will help her build the skills to settle independently while still feeling supported.

Finding the Right Bedtime

From what you’ve described, it sounds like the earlier bedtime (6/7:00 PM) works better for her, as she tolerates it well and still gets a long initial stretch of sleep.

Even though this earlier bedtime results in two night wakings instead of one, that’s completely normal at this stage. Many babies still need two feeds overnight at this age, and over time, she will naturally consolidate sleep and drop to one wake-up when she’s ready.

For now, I’d recommend sticking with the earlier bedtime, as it seems to work better for her mood and overall sleep quality.

Let me know how things go!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

Thanks so much for all this information! It’s really helpful in figuring out what’s going on with her sleep patterns.

It’s great to hear that her first nap is consistently happening around 9 AM—having that predictability in the morning helps set the tone for the rest of the day.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like nap times at childcare vary quite a bit. You mentioned that they aren’t allowed to wake her if she falls asleep while feeding—are they open to waking her after one full sleep cycle? Or at the very least, ensuring that her first nap doesn’t go beyond 9:40 AM?

If they can do this, we can start working on making her second nap more consistent. Once that nap falls into a predictable pattern, we can do the same for the third and fourth naps. Gradually introducing more consistency into her daytime sleep may help reduce the chances of her falling asleep on the car ride home, which in turn can make bedtime smoother.

Bedtime Adjustments – Two Options

I’ve been thinking about ways to make bedtime easier for both of you, and there are two possible approaches.

Option 1: Stick with the Current Routine

This means continuing with her current schedule of five naps per day—including the short nap she takes around 6 PM while breastfeeding—and putting her to bed about two hours after waking from that nap, which seems to be around 8:30 PM.

To fine-tune this approach, I was hoping you could track a few things over the next week:

• The time she wakes from her final nap
• The time she actually falls asleep and stays asleep for the night (not just when she’s put to bed, but when she fully enters deep sleep)

At 4 months of age, babies typically have a wake window of 2 to 2.5 hours, and it’s common for their final wake window to be a little longer than the others. What I am hoping, is that by tracking this information, you might start to notice a pattern—either in how long she naturally stays awake before bedtime (so her wake window) or what time she truly settles for the night. If you choose to keep her current routine, this will help you determine the best bedtime for her based on her natural sleep patterns.

If you continue with this option, one key factor to keep in mind is making sure she stays fully awake during her final feed before bed. Even a brief “micro nap” while feeding can reduce her sleep pressure, making it harder for her to stay asleep.

This can be tricky to catch, as babies often continue sucking even when they’ve drifted off. A good way to tell if she’s still awake is by listening for regular swallowing sounds—if she’s awake, you’ll hear her swallow every few sucks. If you don’t hear swallowing for a while, she has likely fallen asleep.

If she does fall asleep while feeding and you then complete the bedtime routine and settle her into the crib, she may initially fall asleep but is more likely to wake shortly after.

So, to help keep her fully awake during her feed, I was wondering if you would be happy to do the bedtime feed in a brighter, slightly more stimulating environment (e.g., the living room with the lights on) rather than a dim, quiet bedroom. The extra background activity can help keep her awake for the full feed, which should make staying asleep easier when you put her down.

Option 2: Adjusting to an Earlier Bedtime

The other option is to experiment with shifting bedtime earlier to see if it helps her settle more easily at night.

I completely understand that evenings are your main time together on childcare days, so I don’t want to suggest an earlier bedtime without considering that. Instead, we can test the impact of an earlier bedtime over the weekend when you have more time together.

If you’re open to trying this, here’s a schedule to follow over the weekend:

Weekend Schedule Test (2-Hour Wake Windows)

– 7:00 – 7:15 AM – Wake, 1st Feed, then play
– 9:00 AM – Nap 1 (Assuming a 27-30 minute nap)
– 9:30 AM – Wake, 2nd Feed, then play
– 11:30 AM – Nap 2
– 12:00 PM – Wake, 3rd Feed, then play
– 2:00 PM – Nap 3
– 2:30 PM – Wake, 4th Feed, then play
– 4:30 PM – Nap 4
– 5:00 PM – Wake, 5th Feed, then play
– 7:00 PM – Bedtime (including a feed, ideally in a bright, engaging room to keep her awake).

You’ll notice that this schedule includes only four naps instead of five. I know she’s currently taking five naps, but in order to gradually extend her wake windows to two hours, we need to space out her naps, which naturally reduces the total number of naps in a day.

The reason for this adjustment is to help build up enough sleep pressure before each nap. This will encourage her to take longer naps and start linking sleep cycles—something babies are developmentally capable of doing around five months, but only if they can fall asleep independently (which she can).

By stretching her wake windows to two hours, she will naturally transition from five naps to four. My hope is, that this slight reduction in total daytime sleep, along with increased sleep pressure before naps, will make it easier for her to settle at bedtime and stay asleep for longer stretches.

Would you be open to trying this over the weekend to see if shifting bedtime makes settling easier?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

Thank you so much for all this information!

I was in the middle of replying when my 2-year-old woke up sick, so I’m really sorry, but I’ll have to get back to you tomorrow.

I just wanted to let you know that I’ve seen your message and I’m not ignoring you.

Sorry again,

Emma