[Emma H]

Hi Luise,

Thank you so much for your kind words—I’m so glad you’re enjoying the course! And I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and feelings so openly. It’s clear how much love and thought you’re putting into supporting your little one’s sleep and overall well-being.

I completely understand why you might feel conflicted. It’s so natural to want to make sure you’re doing what’s best for her, especially when you’re aware of how much babies thrive on closeness and connection. And you’re absolutely right—babies are wired to seek comfort and security from us.

I want to reassure you that building a secure attachment is about so much more than just one aspect of your day, like settling her to sleep. It’s the ongoing process of noticing her cues, responding to her needs, and providing comfort—whether you’re feeding her, playing with her, talking to her, or helping her fall asleep. And from what you’ve described, you’re doing all of that so beautifully.

Using the settling pyramid (or your modified version of it) is actually part of that process. It’s about being present, responsive, and supportive as she learns to feel safe and secure in her sleep space. You’re still noticing her signs and responding to her in a way that feels right for both of you, which is so valuable.

If you haven’t already seen it, I have a video on YouTube where I talk more about attachment and how it develops over time. It might help reassure you that what you’re doing is fostering a secure, loving bond with her. Here’s the link if you’re interested.

It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job of listening to her needs and finding a balance that works for both of you. And it’s completely okay to take things at your own pace, adjusting as you go.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Marien,

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with using the wake, play, feed, sleep routine if it’s working well for you and your baby. However, it’s helpful to be aware that if your little one only knows how to fall asleep through feeding, it can sometimes lead to more frequent wake-ups as her sleep patterns mature.

This sleep maturation usually happens between 3-5 months of age. As her sleep cycles develop, she’ll start to wake naturally between them. If feeding is her only way of settling back to sleep, she may call out for you each time she stirs, which can lead to her waking every 1-2 hours overnight.

That said, every baby is different. Some babies can feed to sleep and still have longer, more restful stretches overnight. It all comes down to your baby’s individual sleep needs and what feels right for both of you.

However, I did notice you mentioned that you’re a little concerned that your little one ends up sleeping in your arms.

If you’re hoping to gently transition away from that, I’d love to help you come up with a plan. To make sure I give you the best guidance, I just have a few questions:

1. From your previous posts, I calculated that your little one is around 8 weeks old. Is that correct?

2. Does she have a consistent wake time each day? If so, what time is it?

3. Can you walk me through what her nap sleep routine looks like from start to finish?

4. You mentioned you follow the wake, play, feed, sleep routine. Does this mean you feed her to sleep for all naps and at bedtime?

5. What does her bedtime routine currently look like?

6. When you say she ends up sleeping in your arms, are you able to lay her down in her crib or bassinet at all while she sleeps, or do you hold her for the entire nap?

7. Overnight, where does she sleep?

8. Does she use a pacifier?

9. Can you describe what her sleep environment is like in the bedroom? (e.g., darkness, noise level, temperature, white noise, etc.)

10. How many naps is she having per day, and how long do these naps usually last?

11. Lastly, what time does she usually go to bed?

If you happy with your little one sleeping in your arms, then please don’t worry about answering the questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

Thank you so much for your kind words!

It sounds like you’re putting so much thought and care into helping your little one sleep well. You’re doing a fantastic job trying different strategies and observing what works for him.

Before I can give you the most helpful advice on transitioning him away from chest sleeping, I just have a few questions:

1. Does your little one have a consistent wake time each day? If so, what time is it?

2. Can you walk me through what his nap sleep routine looks like from start to finish?

3. Have you been able to implement the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day?

4. You mentioned you feed him to sleep at bedtime—how do you help him fall asleep at nap time? For example, do you baby-wear him, or do you sit on a lounge and pat him to sleep while you stay still?

5. What does his bedtime routine currently look like?

6. When you say you live in a one-bedroom, is the bedroom separate from the living room and kitchen, or is it all one big room?

7. When you say he sleeps on your chest at night, are you able to lay him down in his crib overnight, or do you hold him all night or co-sleep with him (so you can get some sleep)?

8. Does he use a pacifier?

9. Can you describe what his sleep environment is like in the bedroom? (e.g., darkness, noise level, temperature, white noise, etc.)

10. How many naps is he having per day and how long do these naps tend to be?

11. Lastly, what time does he usually go to bed?

I am sorry for all of the questions, but answering them will help me give you some really practical, tailored advice for gradually transitioning him away from chest sleeping.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Marien,

Before I can give you the best possible advice, I just have a few quick questions to help me understand what’s going on a little more clearly:

1. Is your little one formula-fed, mixed-fed (both breast and formula), or is she drinking expressed breast milk from a bottle?

2. You previously mentioned she was sleeping well overnight, but it sounds like that may have changed recently. You said bedtime is around 8pm and she was sleeping 4–5 hours before waking for a feed—so around 12am/1am. Is that still happening?

3. How many feeds is she currently having overnight—between 8pm and 7am?

4. Do you happen to know the times she generally wakes during the night?

5. How is her weight tracking? Is she gaining weight steadily and following her growth curve?

6. During the day, would you say she’s generally content when awake, or is she quite fussy or unsettled?

7. Lastly, how have things been going with the changes to her nap and bedtime routine—especially with helping her fall asleep in the crib or without needing to be rocked or moved?

Sorry for the question again.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Marien,

At 9 weeks, it’s completely normal for babies to wake multiple times overnight for feeds. It sounds like she may have been going longer between feeds previously, but if she’s now waking and not settling back to sleep with just rocking or soothing, it’s likely she’s genuinely hungry—and in that case, I’d absolutely recommend offering a feed.

To help keep things as calm and sleep-friendly as possible, try to keep the lights off or use very dim lighting (a red light is ideal if you have one).

If she’s not doing bowel movements overnight, you can follow the wake, feed, sleep pattern. But if she is doing bowel movements, then go with the wake, feed, change, feed, sleep pattern—just like I cover in the overnight video in the course.

I hope this helps,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

I’m so glad that made sense! And yes, it definitely sounds like your little one’s sleep is starting to mature, which is such a positive sign.

You’re doing a great job supporting her through this transition, and I’d actually recommend continuing with what you’re doing right now—with your main focus on gently working toward independent sleep at both bedtime and nap time, when possible. This is key, because around 5–6 months, most babies begin to naturally develop the ability to link sleep cycles during naps. If she already knows how to fall asleep on her own when that time comes, she’ll be much more likely to resettle herself between cycles and start taking longer naps independently.

As for extending naps with contact naps—that’s absolutely okay to do right now to help her get the rest she needs and avoid overtiredness. Just try to avoid letting those naps run too long, as that <em data-start=”1029″ data-end=”1034″>can begin to impact her night sleep. It would be helpful to know how long her naps currently are when she is napping on you and how long she’s staying awake between naps—feel free to share, and I can help you fine-tune things if needed!

In terms of her early morning wake-ups—shifting a baby’s wake-up time later is quite tricky and often doesn’t lead to consistent results, so I wouldn’t recommend trying to adjust it. That’s because after 10+ hours of night sleep, their sleep pressure is naturally low, and their circadian rhythm is signaling it’s time to wake up. On top of that, babies are naturally early risers, with a morning wake time between 6:00 and 7:00am being completely normal for this age.

And to answer your question about the night waking for a feed—it’s totally normal for things to be a bit inconsistent at this age, but there are things you can do to help encourage that longer first stretch after bedtime. The most effective one is continuing to focus on helping her fall asleep independently in the bassinet. Babies who fall asleep on their own are often better able to resettle themselves when they stir during the night, which can lead to longer stretches between feeds.

One other thing to consider is the timing of your own bedtime. If you’re going to bed shortly before she wakes, you may be unintentionally rousing her from sleep—especially if she’s in REM or a lighter stage of non-REM sleep. To avoid this, try entering the room when she’s in a deeper sleep stage. If you’re using a video monitor, have a quick look before going in: if she’s very still, she’s likely in deep sleep and it’s a good time to enter. If she’s moving around, grunting, or making little noises, she’s in a lighter sleep stage, and it’s best to wait a bit longer before going in.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Em,

First of all, please don’t apologise — you’ve had an incredibly rough stretch, and I can only imagine how physically and emotionally exhausting it’s been. Between the vaccines, the clock change, illness, and a hospital stay, that’s a lot of disruption for both of you. I’m really glad to hear he’s okay now, but I completely understand how thrown off things must feel.

The regression you’re seeing makes so much sense. Babies are incredibly sensitive to change—especially when they’re unwell or overtired—and even a few days of disrupted sleep can reset things in a big way. The good news is that because you’ve already seen some improvement before all of this, we know your little one can get into a more settled rhythm again.

Right now, it’s just about gently helping him reset

To get a clearer picture of where things are at and how we can best support him, I just have a few quick questions:

• Is he fully recovered now, or do you think he’s still in that post-illness recovery phase?

• Have you been able to start reintroducing some of the strategies we discussed earlier?

• Is his wake-up time fairly consistent each morning?

• During the day, is he staying awake after feeds and following a “wake, feed, play, sleep” rhythm?

• When it comes to settling for naps and bedtime, have you been able to start using the settling pyramid, or are you still needing to rock him to sleep?

• Is he still using the pacifier to fall asleep, or have you started phasing that out?

I know that’s a lot of questions—but it really helps me understand where things are at so I can suggest what to tweak next to get things back on track.

I have also answered your questions below

1. Bringing bedtime forward

You could think about starting to bring bedtime forward, but before you do I think it would be good to hear what he is currently doing and then what we can tweak to improve his sleep.

2. Daytime sleep and illness

It’s completely normal for your little one to sleep more while he’s unwell or recovering—extra rest helps his body heal. But once he’s feeling better, too much daytime sleep can start to impact his night sleep.

That’s because we all have a limited amount of sleep we need in a 24-hour period. For babies around this age, that total is usually between 12 to 15 hours. On average, they’ll manage about 3 to 4½ hours of sleep during the day, with the rest happening overnight.

If he sleeps too much during the day, there simply isn’t enough sleep “left” for nighttime.

Also, keep an eye on the timing of his last nap. If it ends too close to bedtime, he might not have had enough time to build up sleep pressure—which means he won’t be tired enough to fall asleep easily or stay asleep for long.

3. Teething
It’s definitely possible that teething has started—most babies get their first tooth between 4 to 7 months, but some can begin earlier. If it is teething, the painful part usually comes when the tooth is pushing through the gum, and this discomfort tends to last around 3 days. You’ll likely notice he’s fussier both during the day and night, and you may see a bluish-grey cyst or swelling on the gum where the tooth is about to break through.

That said, another very normal reason he might be biting down on his hands is simply developmental. Around 4 to 6 months, babies become more aware of their hands and start gaining better control. It’s a time when they explore the world by touching, grabbing, and mouthing everything, including their own hands and fingers. So, it may just be that he’s discovering a new way to self-soothe and explore!

Sorry again for even more questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

It’s great that you’re feeling optimistic and willing to give the gradual approach a try. Let me know how it goes!

You’re absolutely right to be cautious about using pillows or positioning your little one on their side. Both the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) and Red Nose Australia recommend always placing babies on their backs to sleep. Positioning them on their side or using pillows to keep them in a certain position increases the risk of suffocation and SIDS, so it’s not something I would recommend.

When babies learn to roll over independently, many prefer to sleep on their tummy. At that point, the recommendation is still to lay them down on their back when you place them in their sleep space—but once they roll themselves over, it’s okay to let them find their own comfortable position.

Just make sure they’re sleeping on a firm, flat surface with only a fitted sheet covering the mattress—no pillows, stuffed animals, loose blankets, or other soft items.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Luise,

It’s truly my pleasure!

I know how overwhelming and confusing it can feel with so much information out there. I really hope my response helped you feel a little more at ease and gave you some clarity and reassurance.

You’re doing an amazing job.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

You’re absolutely right—wake windows can definitely vary from day to day and even nap to nap. That’s because how long babies can stay awake between naps depends on how quickly their “sleepiness fuel tank” fills up. And that fill-up rate can be influenced by so many factors:

• The quality and length of their previous nap.

• How busy or stimulating their wake window is.

• Whether they’re feeling well or starting to come down with something.

Generally, wake windows become more predictable after around 6 months of age, as naps start to consolidate and they settle into a more consistent nap schedule.

Before 6 months, though, it’s all about combining your knowledge of age-appropriate wake windows with their unique tired signs and following the wake, feed, play, sleep pattern.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

From what you’ve described, it does sound like she might benefit from a slightly longer wake window before that first nap.

It looks like you’re currently trying to settle her for her first nap around 8:00/8:10am. Given that she’s waking around 6:40am, I’d suggest trying to shift that first nap to around 8:30am and keeping it consistent for about three days to see how she responds.

Sometimes at this age, babies can manage a bit more awake time in the morning than we expect, especially if they seem happy and energetic during that window. Extending the wake window just a little may help her build up enough sleep pressure to settle more easily and fall asleep more quickly.

Let me know how you go.
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

It’s so exciting to hear that your little one is starting to accept the crib for naps—that’s a really big step forward!

How have things been going over the last few days?

And just to reassure you, those shorter naps are completely normal for a 3-month-old. At this age, most babies are still learning to consolidate their naps, so 30-minute stretches are totally expected.

To help him continue to get comfortable sleeping in his crib I just have a few suggestions:

Morning Wake-Up Adjustment

I love that you’re trying to be consistent with his wake-up time around 7:30am. To build on that progress, it might help to start the day by heading into the lounge room at 7:30am rather than waiting until 8:30am. When you do this, try to:

• Open the blinds, let in natural light, and turn on all the lights in the space.

• If he needs a feed, you can do that in the lounge room or in the bedroom with the blinds open and lights on. Keeping the environment bright helps reinforce that it’s the start of the day.

Wake, Feed, Play, Sleep Routine

You’re doing such a great job with this routine already! It’s completely understandable to feel a little uncertain when you see those hunger-like signs before a nap, like finger smacking or sucking on his hands. But often, babies use these actions as a way to soothe themselves—it’s their natural way of calming down, even if they’re not truly hungry.

If he’s having a full feed at the start of his wake window, it’s likely he’s not actually hungry again before his nap. So, if he’s gaining weight well and you feel comfortable, you could try settling him to sleep when you notice these signs instead of offering another feed. This can help reinforce that it’s time to sleep rather than eat.

The one exception to this is bedtime. It’s completely normal for babies to have two feeds in that final wake window—one when they wake from their last nap and another just before bed. That final feed helps fill his tummy and encourages a longer, more restful stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night.

Nap Routine Suggestions

Right now, he’s used to falling asleep with your singing and rocking, which is such a loving and comforting way for him to settle. However, because he’s relying on that movement and sound to fall asleep, it can be challenging for him to stay asleep once you transfer him to the crib.

I also noticed you’re using the settling pyramid after placing him in the crib once he’s already asleep. To help him learn to fall asleep in the crib, we need him to be awake when you lay him down and then apply the settling pyramid. So if you feel ready to try this there are two possible options.

Option 1: Adjusted Nap Routine (Using the Settling Pyramid)

This approach helps him gradually learn to fall asleep in the crib:

1. Walk into the bedroom.

2. Put on his sleep sack.

3. Sing your song while holding and rocking him.

4. After singing the song once, lay him down in the crib while he’s still awake and use the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep.

This approach may take some practice, but it teaches him how to settle himself to sleep in the crib, which will help him stay asleep longer once he’s there.

Option 2: Gradual Approach (If laying him down awake feels too difficult right now)

If he’s not quite ready to be placed awake in the crib, this gentler approach can help him learn to settle without relying on constant movement. Here’s how:

1. Walk into the bedroom.

2. Put on his sleep sack.

3. Sing your song while holding and rocking him.

4. After singing the song once, stop singing but continue patting and rocking him.

5. Gradually reduce the rocking until you’re just patting.

6. Then, stop patting and allow him to fall asleep in your arms without movement.

This option helps him practice falling asleep with less and less input from you, which makes it much easier when you’re ready to start using the settling pyramid in the crib.

Introducing the Settling Pyramid at Bedtime

I know you mentioned that you’re hoping to use the settling pyramid technique for nighttime sleep once it’s working well during naps.

But at 3 months old, your baby’s circadian rhythm and natural sleep pressure are both working strongly in your favour at bedtime. Plus, babies tend to fall into their deepest, most restful sleep during the first part of the night, which means bedtime is often the best opportunity to try settling him in the crib.

Because of this natural sleep drive, he’s more likely to settle and sleep for a longer stretch at the start of the night compared to other times.

So, if you feel ready, it could be worth trying the settling pyramid technique at bedtime—even if you’re still working on naps during the day.

if you do feel ready to do this is bedtime routine might look like this:

1. Feed him in the living room keeping a dim light on to prevent him from falling asleep during the feed.

2. Once he starts feeding less actively, pause and change his diaper.

3. Put on his sleep sack.

4. Finish the feed if needed, so his tummy is nice and full.

5. Walk into his bedroom and sing his song while holding and rocking him.

6. Lay him down in the co-sleeper while he’s still awake and use the settling pyramid to help him drift off to sleep.

If you feel that laying him down awake might be too difficult, you can try a more gradual approach:

1. Feed him in the living room with a dim light on to help keep him awake.

2. When he starts to feed less actively, pause the feed and change his diaper.

3. Put on his sleep sack.

4. Finish the feed if needed, so his tummy is nice and full.

5. Walk into his bedroom and sing his song while holding and rocking him.

6. After singing the song, slowly reduce the movement:

   • Stop rocking but continue patting.

   • Stop patting and let him fall asleep in your arms without movement.

7. Once he’s fully asleep, gently place him in the crib.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Marien,

It’s fantastic to hear that your little one is sleeping so well overnight in the crib and even taking a solid 2-hour nap in the morning. That’s truly amazing progress for an 8-week-old!

It’s also great that she has a consistent wake-up time and you’ve recently started a nap routine—those are both wonderful foundations to build on.

At 8 weeks of age, wake windows are so short, and feeds take up so much time that it’s completely normal for babies to wake, feed, and then fall right back to sleep. Over the next month, you’ll likely notice her staying awake a bit longer after feeds and having some playtime. That’s when you can start using the settling pyramid more often.

When she does stay awake after a feed, you might consider tweaking her nap routine to include a lullaby or you singing a favourite song while gently patting her bottom as you walk around. This lullaby will become a comforting sleep cue, making the transition to falling asleep in the crib using the settling pyramid much easier when she’s ready.

Here’s a simple routine you could try:

1. Walk into her bedroom

2. Swaddle her

3. Walk around the dark room with her lying in your arms, singing a lullaby and gently patting her bottom

4. Stop singing and stand still, continuing to pat her bottom

From here, you have two options:

• Lay her down in the crib and try the settling pyramid

• Hold her in your arms until she falls asleep

If you choose to keep holding her, just make sure to stay still. This helps her learn to fall asleep without movement, making it easier to transition to the crib using the settling pyramid when you’re both ready.

Something else to consider: The first nap of the day is often the easiest for babies to fall asleep. So, if you’re looking to try the settling pyramid, starting with that nap might set you up for the most success.

You’re doing an amazing job, and for an 8-week-old, she’s doing so well!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Stephanie,

Hopefully, the last few days have been okay without the pacifier.

Regarding extending naps after a short 20-minute nap, you’re absolutely right that it’s very challenging. Sleep pressure (the drive to sleep) builds up during wake time and dissipates during sleep. When your little one wakes from a short nap, they simply don’t have enough sleep pressure built up to fall back asleep, even if you try to resettle them. So, my recommendation is to get him up and start the next wake window once he wakes from a short nap. That will allow the sleep pressure to build back up for his next nap.

As for the naps in the carrier, that’s completely fine and won’t hinder his ability to consolidate naps in the crib eventually. While he may have longer naps in the carrier now, what will happen over time is as he learns to fall asleep on his own in the crib and his naps naturally consolidate, he will start having longer naps (around 1–2 hours) in the crib. This often starts to happen somewhere between 5–6 months. And yes, waking him after 2 hours in the carrier is a great idea!

About the crying and protesting when going into the bedroom for naps – it’s possible it’s related to overtiredness, but another likely explanation is that he’s becoming more aware that going into his room means it’s time to sleep. To help break that pattern of crying as soon as you enter the bedroom, you could try tweaking his nap routine a little.

For example, try putting his sleep sack on in the lounge or living room instead of his bedroom. After that, walk around with him for a bit while he’s lying in your arms. Then, when he’s calm and settled, walk into his room, turn off the lights, close the blinds, turn on the white noise machine, and then sing a lullaby before laying him down in his crib. This small change in routine could help him feel more relaxed and comfortable going into his bedroom.

Regarding wake windows, you’re absolutely right that they can vary throughout the day. When babies have a short nap, their wake window is usually shorter (it can be as short as 45 minutes). When they have a longer nap, their wake window tends to be longer (up to 1.5 hours). It’s all about how quickly they build up sleep pressure. Think of it like a fuel tank – after a short nap, there’s still some sleepy fuel left, so it doesn’t take long to fill the tank back up before they’re ready to sleep again. But after a long nap, they’ll wake up with an empty tank, and it takes longer to fill it up before they’re ready to sleep again.

Instead of sticking to strict wake windows, I recommend combining age-appropriate wake windows (which for his age are typically between 45 minutes and 1.5 hours) with watching for tired signs and following the general pattern of wake, feed, play, sleep. Given that he’s having short naps in the morning, you might find he only stays awake for about 45 minutes before needing another nap.

I hope this helps!
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

Unfortunately, it can be tricky to get babies back to sleep after the 5am feed because their sleep pressure is low—they’ve already had over 7 – 9 hours of sleep—and their circadian rhythm is naturally encouraging them to wake up around this time.

What should happen is that once your little one learns to fall asleep independently in her crib or bassinet, she’ll start having longer stretches of sleep at night before waking for a feed. Over time, those overnight feeds tend to drop, often settling into a single feed between 1-4am, allowing her to sleep until her natural wake-up time.

Until she masters this skill, here are some things you can try:

1. Treat the 5am feed like a nighttime feed:

   • Keep the lights off and follow your usual wake, feed, sleep routine.

2. Block out early morning light:

   • If light is creeping in, cover it to prevent her circadian rhythm from thinking it’s time to start the day.

3. Pause before responding:

   • When she starts to stir, wait a moment to see if she’s truly awake.

   • If her noises are intermittent with pauses, give her space to settle herself back to sleep.

   • If her cries are consistent without pauses, that’s her signal she needs you.

4. Try a 4am feed (if needed):

   • If she’s consistently waking between 5-6am and struggling to go back to sleep, you can try gently waking her at 4am for a quick feed.

   • This might help her sleep through until 6am, but sometimes it can backfire and cause her to wake up for the day at 4am.

   • If that happens, just skip trying it the next day.

I hope that helps!

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Emma H.