[Emma H]

Hey Monique!

It’s been a while!

My family is doing well. My youngest was sick last week with another cold that turned into bronchitis (childcare germs are constant at the moment 😂). The poor thing sucked her fingers so much that she got a small infection, which meant I had to put a bandaid on it to stop her sucking it. On the bright side, this weaned her off finger-sucking to fall asleep, so it turned out okay in the end.

I hope you and your family are well!

It’s so good to hear that your little one has got her self-soothing sorted overnight and has given up the dummy! That can be really tricky, so well done!

Before I give you strategies to help with daytime naps, could you update me on what her day looks like? Specifically:

• What time does she wake up in the morning?
• What time does she nap, and how long are her naps?
• What time does she go to sleep at night?
• What is her nap routine?
• Where is she sleeping for her naps – so what’s the environment like, is it the same place she sleeps overnight?
• What is the bedtime routine and how are you settling her to sleep at this time?

When she wakes from a 30-minute nap, you can try to rock her back to sleep, but it’s likely she won’t fall back to sleep, since the short nap has lowered her sleep pressure (the driver for naps), and she’s no longer tired. If you want to try to rock her back to sleep, set a time limit of 10-15 minutes. If she doesn’t fall asleep in that time, get her up and start the next wake window. It’s also perfectly fine to get her up and start the next wake window when she initially wakes.

Thanks,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Anastasia,

It’s great to hear that your little one has learned to roll over! Have you noticed if he prefers to sleep on his tummy now that he’s rolling?

When babies get a bit older, they tend to become more aware of their surroundings, and staying in the room can sometimes be distracting or distressing for them. If that’s the case with your little one, you might want to modify the settling pyramid method slightly. So you would complete the nap or bedtime routine, lay him down in the crib, and then leave the room, completing the watch and listen step outside the bedroom (by watching him on the monitor), similar to what I did in the video with my little one.

When you are completing the watch and listen step, outside the room, remember that if he calls out but there are pauses between the call-outs, it doesn’t necessarily mean he needs you. It could be his way of saying, “Hey, this is different!” or just him settling to sleep. Babies can take up to 20 minutes to fall asleep, so if he calls out but there are pauses, give him the space to fall asleep without you in the room.

However, if he calls out and there are no pauses, that indicates he needs you. At this point, you would enter the room and move up and down the settling pyramid. Once you enter the room, I recommend you stay until he falls asleep (but move down the pyramid so that he completes the last step of falling asleep on his own), as opening and closing the bedroom door could alert your little one and cause him more distress.

Regarding your question about how often I needed to ‘retrain’ my daughter due to natural disturbances like growth spurts, teething, and sickness:

The discomfort from teething and sickness can impact sleep and result in the need to retrain our little ones, if we change our responses to how we settle them to sleep and respond to them overnight. Therefore, I tried to be as consistent as possible with settling my little one and responding to her overnight when she was sick or teething to minimise these impacts. If she was uncomfortable due to teething (which meant she was also uncomfortable during the day and clingy) or sick (evident through coughing or a constant runny nose 😂), I would give her pain relief if needed before naps and bedtime, then proceed with her usual routine.

I might have rocked her slightly longer but I still aimed to put her down in her crib while she was awake and then helped her fall asleep by patting if needed. I was also careful not to introduce a night feed if it wasn’t previously needed. Introducing a feed when it wasn’t needed overnight could have created a new sleep association, resulting in the need to ‘retrain’ if she didn’t naturally return to sleeping without it once she was well again. Instead, I would settle her back to sleep in my arms if needed and then put her back in the crib.

Once she moved into her bedroom around 12 months, I would move a mattress into her room if I needed to sleep in the same room (such as when she had croup). This way, when she was well again and I didn’t need to be in the same room, her routine remained unchanged. This prevented her from getting used to sleeping in my bed, which could potentially require retraining her again.

By remaining consistent and not introducing new sleep associations, I’ve had about ten occasions (which have lasted 3 – 7 days) where I had to provide more comfort than usual when she was unwell or in pain. However, she naturally returned to her usual sleeping pattern once she was well again or those teeth came through!

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Melina,

It would be so hard to get anything done with these quick naps!

There are potentially a few reasons the catnaps have continued. To work out which one it might be I just have a few questions.

1. When you say she goes down pretty well, what exactly do you mean? What does her nap routine look like, and how do you settle her to sleep?
2. Have you been able to adopt the wake, feed, play, and then sleep routine?
3. Can you describe what her day typically looks like? Specifically, the time she wakes up in the morning, the times of her naps, and her bedtime?
4. How does she sleep overnight? Does she go to bed and sleep through the night, or does she wake up for feeds and then fall back to sleep? If she wakes for feeds, what time does this usually happen, and does she find it easy to go back to sleep afterwards?
5. Is she generally well, happy, and content during the day?
6. When she naps during the day, where is she sleeping? What is the environment like—dark, quiet, white noise, or are there other kids/people in the house?

Thanks in advance for taking the time to answer these questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Simona,

I’m sorry to hear you’re having a challenging time at the moment. It’s great to know that you were able to identify and address your little one’s reflux.

The four-month sleep regression can be particularly tough and tiring!

To provide the most helpful advice, I have a few questions. So when you have a moment (I understand how busy life is with a 3.5-month-old, so no rush), could you please answer the following?

1. During the modified settling pyramid when you rock him in your arms, does he have the pacifier in?
2. Are you waiting for him to be fully asleep before putting him down in the crib while rocking him?
3. When he wakes up after 5 minutes, has the pacifier always fallen out, and do you need to replace it? I am just wondering if the pacifier falling out is causing the frequent wakes.
4. Is his sleeping environment cool, dark, and free from sudden loud noises? So, where does he sleep during the day and overnight?
5. How many naps does he generally have during the day, and what times do these naps usually occur (I am just trying to work out the spacing between them)?
6. You mentioned he sleeps in the crib for the morning nap. Where does he generally sleep for the subsequent naps during the day?
7. For the second nap, you said he sleeps for 15 minutes but will sleep longer if you lie down with him. Are you feeding him, replacing the pacifier, or patting him to help him sleep during this time?
8. Have you been able to follow the wake, feed, play, and sleep routine with your little one?
9. What does his nap and bedtime routine look like?
10. Have you been able to implement a set wake-up time in the morning?
11. What time is his bedtime? Has it become more consistent?
12. When he wakes overnight, you mentioned he wakes at 11 pm for a feed, then sleeps until 2-3 am for another feed. After this, he wakes up frequently when the pacifier falls out for the next 1-2 hours. He then wakes again at 5 am for another feed, followed by more frequent wakings whenever the pacifier falls out for the next 1-2 hours. I am just wondering what the overnight environment is like when he wakes at these times?

Sorry for all the questions. But once I have these answers I should be able to provide you with more specific advice.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Katerina,

It’s so good to hear that Helen has been doing well. I was wondering how you all were! It’s also great to hear that she has started to sleep independently again, after learning how to roll over and then sit up (she has been busy!).

Unfortunately, it will be hard to settle Helen back to sleep if she wakes at 5-6am, as sleep pressure would be low, sleep itself is generally lighter in the early hours of the morning, and her circadian rhythm is encouraging her to wake up​​​​.

Another thing to note is that it’s really common for babies to start their day between 6-7am. This is just a typical circadian rhythm for infants​​.

Before I give any recommendations, I have a few questions:

1. You mentioned she naps at 9am and generally has a 35-40 minute nap. For her second and third naps, how long is she generally napping for?
2. Is she waking overnight for feeds? Or is she waking sometime between 5 and 6 am and you’re feeding her at this point to try and help her fall back to sleep?
3. From what you have said, I am guessing Helen’s schedule looks a little like this:
   • Wake: 5am – 6am
   • Feed and then play
   • Nap #1: 9am until 9:45am
   • Feed and then play
   • Nap #2: 12pm until 12:45pm
   • Feed and then play
   • Nap #3: 3pm – 3:45pm
   • Feed and then play and then feed
   • Bedtime: 7/8pm
4. Is Helen having all her naps in a bedroom in a crib? Or is she still having some contact naps and naps in the pram?
5. Does she self-settle for naps and bedtime?

Thanks for taking the time to answer these for me – I know life can be very busy with a 6-month-old!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Ana,

It’s wonderful to hear that your little one is sleeping well at night.

Regarding naps, unfortunately, the unpredictable nature of her naps is typical at this stage. Short naps are also common (and extremely frustrating). The other thing to note is The Period of PURPLE Crying would be peaking now, so that might be making afternoon/evening naps a little challenging.

The strategies in the course should help her nap in the crib. Have you had a chance to go through the course? If you have which strategies have you tried or continue to use? In particular, have you tried using the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep for naps?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Diana!

It sounds like you’re experiencing some changes with your little one’s sleep patterns. Before I can give you some suggestions, I have a few questions:

1. When did these changes start?

   • Did they begin when you moved him into his own room or did you move him into his own room at 5 months?
   • Did they coincide with him starting to crawl?

2. Can he roll from his back to his tummy on his own?

3. You mentioned his previous routine looked like this:

   • 6 AM: Wake
   • 1st nap around 8:30/9 AM (wake at 10/10:30 AM)
   • 2nd nap around 12:30/1 PM (wake at 2/2:30 PM)
   • 3rd nap at 5 PM (wake at 5:30 PM)
   • Bedtime at 7 PM
   • Overnight wake for a feed between 11:30 PM – 2:30 AM

Does his routine still look like this?

4. You mentioned he is waking often during the night—are there specific times he wakes, or is it every two hours from 7 PM onwards?

5. Also, you mentioned he is harder to settle for bedtime and naps. Is he still able to fall asleep in the crib by himself, or are you placing him in the crib and then moving up the settling pyramid, eventually picking him up and rocking him to sleep?

One possible reason for the sudden change in his sleeping patterns might be that he is ready to drop his third nap and transition to a two-nap schedule. Babies typically make this transition between 6 and 9 months of age. Do you think this might be the case? Here are some signs that indicate your baby might be ready for this change:

1. Trouble Falling Asleep at Nap Time: If he struggles to fall asleep during his usual nap time, especially in the afternoon, it might be because he isn’t tired enough and needs more awake time between naps.

2. Difficulty Falling Asleep at Night: If he used to fall asleep quickly but suddenly resists bedtime, it could be due to the last nap of the day being too close to bedtime, not allowing enough awake time to build sufficient sleep pressure for the night.

3. Waking Up Earlier Than Usual: If he starts waking up earlier in the morning, such as shifting from a 6 AM wake-up to 5:30 AM, it might indicate he needs to drop a daytime nap. As children grow, their overall sleep needs decrease, and excessive daytime napping can reduce nighttime sleep duration.

4. Shorter Naps: If he begins to have shorter naps, waking up much earlier than usual, it might be a sign that he’s ready to drop a nap. This often happens because they aren’t tired enough for a long nap due to shorter awake periods.

Thanks

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Katerina,

No worries at all.

It does sound like there have been some changes in her schedule in the last few days.

I’m sorry but I am a little confused. Are you able to write down what her day naps now look like? So the time that they occur and then how long she is napping for each nap?

Also, you mentioned that in the past you tried to shift her bedtime from 7pm to 8pm to see if that helped shift her morning wake-up time. When you did this, did you keep her bedtime at 8pm for more than 3 nights to see if there was a shift in the wake-up time?

It’s great that you worked out that when she wakes at 5/6am and you give her some water she falls back to sleep. Does this happen every time you do this or just sometimes?

Sorry again for asking more questions!

Emma

[Emma H]

No worries!

[Emma H]

Hi Ana,

I’m so glad to hear that some of the recommendations are already making a positive difference! The “reset” of sleep pressure can indeed have a big impact, and I’m happy to hear that it made sense to you. It’s often a tricky one to spot in the moment.

I’m excited to hear how the rest of the week goes with these small tweaks.

Keep up the fantastic work!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Maddie,

It’s often hard to see day-to-day improvements when you’re in the thick of it, but it’s helpful to be reminded of the progress you’ve made. It can definitely help keep you motivated!

It’s perfectly okay to climb the settling pyramid if she fusses immediately when you put her down. The key is to ensure she completes the last step by herself, which reinforces her self-soothing skills. Your approach is spot on.

It’s fantastic that she’s starting to self-soothe during naps and soon after bedtime.

Moving her into her own room is a big step, and it’s normal to feel mixed emotions about it. Moving her crib a bit further from you in the meantime is a great transitional step. Many parents find that both they and their baby sleep better with this arrangement due to fewer disturbances. Using a monitor will help you assess her needs while still giving her the space to self-settle.

If she’s been unwell, it’s natural for her to need more comfort and for her sleep to be disrupted. It sounds like you’re handling this well by giving her the extra cuddles she needs. Once she’s feeling better, you can gradually return to your regular sleep routines, and she should start stringing together longer stretches of sleep, particularly in the first part of the night.

Keep up the great work! She’s already showing she can self-settle, so continuing to give her opportunities to practice will only strengthen this skill.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Ana,

It’s so good to hear that the swaddle and pyramid work well for her bedtime. The reason this approach is effective at bedtime and not during the day is that her sleep pressure and circadian rhythm are working together to help her fall asleep. The fact that she has started to have a longer stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night also indicates that her circadian rhythm is starting to have an impact on her sleep, which is great.

At 8 weeks, the Period of PURPLE Crying might be peaking, which can make it tricky to get her to nap in the afternoon. During this fussy period, babies often find it challenging to fall asleep and may have very short naps, often preferring to cluster feed and be held.

Given that afternoon naps might be challenging, you might have more success with getting her to nap in the crib at the beginning of the day.

Here are a few things you can do to encourage her to nap in her crib:

1. Follow the Wake, Feed, Play, Sleep Routine:

   • At this age, you’ll notice that she is starting to stay awake after a feed. This is a good time to establish the wake, feed, play, and sleep routine. Often, a baby wakes from a nap, feeds, plays, and then shows signs that are often mistaken for hunger. We feed them again, and they fall asleep while feeding. This ‘sleep’ is very brief but enough to lower their sleep pressure, making them less tired and extending their wake window. To avoid this cycle, follow the wake, feed, play, and sleep routine. After she has been awake and starts showing tired signs, swaddle her, take her to her bedroom, complete her sleep routine, and then use the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep.

2. Embrace the Short Naps:

   • At this age, short naps (lasting around 20 minutes) are normal and can vary from nap to nap and day to day. If she falls asleep while feeding and wakes when you transfer her to the crib, her sleep pressure might have lowered, causing her to stay awake for another wake window (45 + minutes) before falling back to sleep. In these situations, if she wakes up and you can’t settle her back to sleep within 10 minutes, start the next wake, feed, play, and sleep routine.

3. Start Waking Her at a Consistent Time:

   • To help mature her circadian rhythm and encourage a consistent time for the first nap of the day, start waking her within a 30-minute window in the morning (if you haven’t already).

4. Settle Her in the Crib for Morning Naps:

   • Given that she is likely going through the peak of the Period of PURPLE Crying, afternoon naps might be more challenging. To address this, focus on using the settling pyramid for morning naps. When she shows tired signs, follow these steps:

     1. Take her into the bedroom and complete the sleep routine: swaddle her, turn on the white noise machine, and sing a lullaby while holding her.
     2. Lay her down in the crib while she is drowsy but still awake. Avoid feeding her as part of the nap routine to prevent her from falling asleep while feeding, which can lead to short naps (as she is likely to fall asleep briefly while feeding) and lower her sleep pressure.

     Once she is in the crib, use the settling pyramid techniques as needed to help her fall asleep.

Does this seem doable for you and your husband?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Maddie,

First off, I want to say you both have done an amazing job helping your little one learn how to fall asleep in her crib. Just 13 days ago, you began the ‘watch and listen’ step outside the room and successfully settled her to sleep in her crib for her nap for the first time. Now, she is taking most, if not all, of her naps in her crib and settling to sleep using the settling pyramid for both naps and bedtime.

It’s fantastic that her naps have started to lengthen again too!

Since this ability to fall asleep in her crib for naps and bedtime is new, she might need a bit more time to get used to it before she starts dropping the overnight feeds. However, it does sound like she’s making progress, especially with that six-hour stretch of sleep the other night, which she hasn’t done since the beginning of April.

I still expect that with a bit more time, she will naturally start to reduce her overnight feeds. To help her along, you can try the following:

1. Complete the Watch and Listen Step Outside the Bedroom:

   • Are you still completing the watch and listen step while you’re outside the bedroom? If not, it might be worth trying this again now that she is comfortable being placed in the crib after the sleep routine.
   • Remember, if she calls out but there are pauses between the call-outs, this doesn’t necessarily mean she needs you. It could be her way of saying, “Hey, this is different!” or her way of settling to sleep. Babies can take up to 20 minutes to fall asleep, so if she calls out but there are pauses, give her the space to fall asleep without you in the room.
   • However, if she calls out and there are no pauses, that indicates she needs you. At this point, enter the room and move up the settling pyramid. Ensure you move back down the pyramid so she completes the last step of falling asleep on her own.

2. Use the Settling Pyramid for the First Third of the Night:

   • Babies often start to have longer stretches of sleep in the first third of the night because this period primarily consists of deep sleep (NREM Stage 3/4). As the night progresses, sleep is dominated by lighter sleep stages (NREM stage 2 and REM sleep). This is the part of the night that we want to first reduce the feeds and help her fall asleep using the settling pyramid instead.
   • When she goes to bed at 7:30/8pm and wakes anytime before 12am, pause and watch her on the baby monitor to see if she is truly awake or just transitioning between sleep cycles. If she is awake, go in and use the settling pyramid to help her fall back to sleep.
   • For wakes in the first third of the night, consider asking your husband to settle her. She may find it easier to fall asleep without a feed if she can’t smell your breastmilk. You might also consider temporarily moving out of the bedroom for a few nights to avoid her smelling the breastmilk. If this isn’t possible, or you prefer to settle her to sleep, that’s completely fine.
   • If you don’t feel up to this, you could continue to feed her for the next few weeks and see if she naturally starts to have longer stretches of sleep at the start of the night. If after a few weeks, she continues to wake, you can implement this step then.

3. Consider Your Bedtime:

   • Since she is sleeping in your room and tends to wake every 1 1/2 – 2 hours, think about the time you and your husband go to bed. The noise of you entering the room, getting ready for bed, and getting into bed may accidentally rouse her from sleep.
   • For example, if she falls asleep at 8pm, she might enter a lighter sleep stage and briefly wake around 9:30/10pm. If you or your husband go to bed around this time, you might accidentally wake her. You might need to adjust your bedtime to avoid this.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Diana,

Thanks for the answers!

Based on what you’ve shared, there could be a few reasons for the sudden change in his sleeping patterns:

1. Learning to Crawl: When babies start learning to crawl, it can affect their sleep, making it harder for them to fall asleep and causing more frequent wakes overnight.
2. Having Too Many Naps: Another possibility is that he’s having too many naps during the day. He might be ready to drop that third nap. It’s easy to mistake boredom for tiredness and continue putting him to bed at his usual time. However, if he’s ready to drop this nap, it can result in changes to his sleep patterns. For example, he might fall asleep initially but then wake up soon after because he’s not truly tired enough to stay asleep. This can lead to shorter naps and more frequent nighttime wakes.
3. New Sleep Cues: Another factor could be the introduction of a new sleep cue. Often, when babies start having trouble sleeping, we introduce new habits or techniques to help them fall asleep. For example, you might begin to hold him until he falls asleep. While these methods can be effective in the short term, they can lead to your baby becoming reliant on them to fall asleep. This means that when he wakes up during the night, he may not be able to fall back asleep on his own and will need the same sleep cue to do so. This dependency can cause more frequent nighttime wakes, and shorter sleep stretches.

Since he’s waking every 1-2 hours overnight, it sounds like he might be relying on being held to fall back to sleep.

Here are some suggestions to help him sleep for longer stretches:

• Try transitioning to two naps a day. Reducing the number of naps can help consolidate his sleep, leading to longer, more restful periods of sleep both during the day and at night. Additionally, stretching out his wake windows during the day can build up enough sleep pressure for him to sleep more soundly. Here’s an example schedule for transitioning to two naps per day:
  • If he wakes at 6 am, his first nap could be around 9-10:30/11 am.
  • The second nap could be around 1-2:30/3 pm.
  • Bedtime might initially need to be at 6:30 pm and can be adjusted later as he becomes more settled with just two naps.

• Reteach Self-Soothing: To help him sleep longer overnight and have longer naps during the day, he needs to relearn how to fall to asleep on his own. At this age, staying in the room after placing him in the crib can be confusing and upsetting since he’s more aware of your presence. So instead of staying in the room, you can try the following:
  • Pre-Sleep Routine: Complete your pre-sleep routine.
  • Place in Crib and Leave: After finishing the pre-sleep routine, place him in his crib while he’s still awake. Walk out of the room and close the door. Then, keep an eye on him using a baby monitor. (So what do in the Live Example: Reading Cues at 5 Months of Age video)
  • Watch and Listen: Observe and listen to him on the monitor. If he calls out, but there are breaks between the cries, he’s likely trying to settle himself. Give him a little time to do so without rushing in right away.
  • Respond if Necessary: If his calls get louder and more continuous without breaks, go back into the room to soothe him.
  • Move Up and Down the Pyramid: Use the settling pyramid method as needed, and move back down the pyramid as he settles so that he completes the last step of falling asleep on his own. This might mean you need to pick him up and put him back down a few times.
  • Consider the Timing: Reteaching him how to fall back to sleep on his own can be challenging when you’re also caring for a toddler. You might find it more manageable to focus on this at bedtime when another adult can entertain the toddler (and this might also be easier as sleep pressure and his circadian rhythm will work together to help him fall asleep). Alternatively, you could start this process on a weekend when another adult can help.

Is this something you could try?

I understand it might be frustrating to hear that he needs to relearn this skill. However, it might be comforting to know that this process should be quicker than the first time you did this with him. Plus, you already know he can do it! Once he relearns how to fall asleep on his own, his naps should lengthen, and the number of overnight wakes should decrease.

Let me know if you have any questions or need further help!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Maddie!

Yay! 2-hour stretches of sleep would feel so much better.

It’s great that she’s going down pretty easily now.

Before I provide some suggestions to help her sleep longer, could you tell me about her current nap and bedtime routine? What does her new routine look like?

Also, you mentioned before that your partner enjoyed contact naps during the day. Is he still doing this, or is she now napping in her crib during the day too?

Since she’s waking every few hours, can you also describe what her nights look like? Specifically, what time does she go to bed, when does she wake up for a feed, and if she still has that long period of being awake in the early morning hours?

Thanks!

Emma