[Emma H]

Hi Anastasia,

Your little one will find it easier to fall asleep using the settling pyramid with less resistance if they’re tired. If you know that your little one typically stays awake for around 60 minutes before needing a nap, and their nap routine takes about 5 minutes, I suggest starting the nap routine after they’ve been awake for 55 minutes. This way, they’ll be in the crib when they’re tired rather than when they’re not, which helps minimise protests.

As for how long to persist with the settling pyramid, 30 minutes is a reasonable timeframe to attempt before switching to your usual settling method if it’s not working. Babies can sometimes take up to 20 minutes to fall asleep, but if you’ve tried for 30 minutes without success, it’s a good idea to provide comfort and try again later.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Katerina,

It’s great to hear that Helen is doing well and has started to take longer morning naps.

If Helen can fall asleep on her own in the crib, continues to have that longer morning sleep (indicating she can link sleep cycles), and isn’t waking frequently during the night, then picking her up briefly during her afternoon nap or when she wakes occasionally at 11 PM or 5 AM is perfectly fine.

One thing you might consider is pausing when she first wakes to see if she can fall back asleep on her own. If she becomes distressed and needs your help, you could try some of the less hands-on settling techniques, such as shushing or patting, before picking her up.

This approach can help her learn to fall back asleep independently over time.

Does this make sense?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

It’s great to hear that she has been falling asleep quickly over the past few days!

If she continues to wake at 7am, you can shift her bedtime back 30 minutes to 7pm. As I agree, 12 1/2 hours in bed overnight might be a bit too long.

Napping for 90 minutes a day is perfectly fine. You might find that her naps continue to lengthen, as they have only recently become consistent and increased in duration. But if they don’t, 90 minutes is still great.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Katerina and Kostas!

It’s so good the strategies worked for Helen!

I am sure if you continue:

– following her cues and putting her to bed when she is tired

– letting her sleep in an environment that is cool, dark, and free from sudden loud noise

– using the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep

– pausing when she stirs

she will start having long naps again.

Have a great weekend!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Anastasia!

It’s great that you have a great sleep environment and a regular nap and bedtime routine.

Your plan of getting him comfortable on his back and used to the crib sounds good.

When he’s more settled, you can start trying the settling pyramid again.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Anastasia,

It’s great to hear that you’re having more success getting the timing right and he is just falling asleep with shushing and patting while in your arms. Before him falling asleep while you shush and pat him, have you been able to start a nap and bedtime routine or have a song that you sing just before this step? If not, it would be great if you could, as this routine or song will become a sleep cue you can use when he becomes more comfortable with being placed in the crib.

I also wanted to check if you’ve had a chance to consult with a paediatrician about his reflux. They might have additional suggestions to help minimise his discomfort.

To reduce the chances of him startling and waking when you transfer him from your arms into the crib, you can:

– Use a swaddle where his arms are positioned down by his side. If you’re using a swaddle where his arms are up by his face, he is more likely to startle when you move him away from your body and then again when you place him on the mattress. This can cause him to wake up. On the other hand if his arms are swaddled by his side, the startle reflex is dampened and less likely to wake him.

– Reposition your arms before laying him down. Often when we hold a baby in our arms, their head is resting in the elbow crease of one arm that wraps around the top of their body and the other arm runs along the underside of their body. Below is link to an image showing this position, as it’s hard to explain. It’s the photo titled: ‘How we usually hold babies in our arms’ https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uhz_LAhz7UqZnA4dNaPnQGPMDXCit9fu/view?usp=sharing

If you go straight from this position to the crib, the arm running under his head is challenging to remove, without causing lots of head movement.

So before you place him in the crib, reposition your arms so that the supporting arm, which usually runs along the underside of his body, runs along the side of his body (so the side that isn’t against your body) and holds his head in your hand and the arm which was supporting his head (in the elbow crease) moves down to support his body. Below is a link to an image showing this position, as it’s hard to explain. It’s the photo titled: Repositioning arms to reduce the chances of a startle reflex

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uRP3FL_idkRchoyFULwJycg6CjSDFu8J/view?usp=sharing

Then, when he is lying on the mattress, slowly slide the hand supporting his body out by moving it to the side, and then slowly side the hand, holding his head out by moving it to the side.

– Lay him in the crib, legs first. When you lower him into the crib, do it so that his legs touch the mattress first, then his bottom, trunk, and head. Lowering him onto the mattress this way reduces the likelihood of triggering the startle reflex.

– Hold his arms and legs. Once he is lying on the mattress, if he moves, place one hand on his arms and the other hand on his legs to reduce the movements and dampen the startle reflex. This step is particularly important if you’re using a swaddle with his arms up by the side of his head.

I hope that helps!

Emma

drive.google.com

How we usually hold babies in our arms.jpeg

Adorable little baby with pacifier in mouth sleeping peacefully on hands of her mother

[Emma H]

Hi Maddie,

It sounds like you’re navigating a lot of changes, and while the progress may not feel straightforward, it’s definitely there! It’s great to hear that she’s less frustrated about not being fed to sleep, and it is easier to settle, even if the settling pyramid is still a challenge.

It’s also good to hear that she has stopped lifting her legs and hitting them on the mattresses overnight. You may notice that when they learn a new skill, they practice it at night too, but this usually stops soon after it starts (like you’ve seen with your little one).

As she is nearly 6 months of age, you may find that she is a lot more aware of her surrounding. Because she is so aware, she might find it easier to settle to sleep if you’re not in the room. Often what happens is we place them in the crib, they see us in the room and then they start to protest because they can see us but we aren’t doing anything. We’re just looking at them. This can then lead to them protesting a lot more than they would if we weren’t in the room.

How would you feel about completing the nap or bedtime routine, laying her down in the crib, walking out of the room, closing the bedroom door, and completing the ‘Watch and Listen’ part of the pyramid outside the room?

If you’re happy to do this, you can continue to monitor her outside the room using a video monitor, similar to the method I demonstrate in the “Live Example: Reading Cues at 5 Months of Age” video.

If while you’re watching her, she calls out, but there are pauses between the call-outs, then this doesn’t necessarily mean she needs you. It’s more like her way of saying, “Hey, this is different! Where are you?” and it could also be her way of settling to sleep. We all take time to settle to sleep, and it can take up to 20 minutes for babies to fall asleep. So if she calls out but there are pauses, just give her the space to fall asleep without you in her room.

However, if she calls out and there are no pauses, then that is her way of telling you that she needs you. At this point, you would enter the room and move up the settling pyramid.

Regarding moving her to her own room, the American Academy of Pediatrics and Red Nose Australia suggest room sharing until your baby is 6 months old. Around that time, if she seems more aware of her surroundings and you think she’d sleep better in a quieter space, it might be the right time to transition her to her room. You might find that when you move her into her own room, she wakes less often overnight because she isn’t accidentally being roused from her sleep by you or our husband rolling over in bed or anyone snoring. You might also find that if she does wake up during the night, she might go back to sleep without your help, as she cannot smell you or your breastmilk.

Before you transition her into her room, make sure it is conducive to sleep—dark, cool, and quiet. Test the room’s darkness during the day, adjust for any light leaks, and put her white noise machine in it.

Once the room is set up, move the crib in the new room. I recommend moving the crib into her new room before bedtime. At bedtime, the circadian rhythm and sleep pressure work together to encourage her to fall asleep; therefore, she is more likely to find it easier to drift off to sleep. It’s not usual for babies to find it initially a bit challenging to fall asleep in an unfamiliar room, but since she has been sleeping in a crib, this disruption should be minimal. Once you have moved the crib into her own room, I recommend she sleeps in this room for naps and overnight. This consistency will make the transition easier for her.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jennifer,

Waking up after an overnight feed and staying awake isn’t ideal, but it’s pretty common.

This situation is often called a “split night,” where the baby’s sleep pressure (which builds during wakefulness) is out of sync with their circadian rhythm (the natural cycle that regulates sleep). Normally, sleep pressure helps your baby fall and stay asleep until the circadian rhythm takes over to keep them asleep until morning. However, if these are misaligned, your baby might wake up after the sleep pressure decreases and then remain awake until it builds up enough for them fall back asleep.

Here are some strategies that could help with split nights:

1. Check Daytime Sleep: Babies between 4-6 months generally need 12-15 hours of total sleep over 24 hours. Too much daytime sleep can mean less need for nighttime sleep, leading to waking periods during the night. It sounds like her naps, totalling 2 to 2.5 hours, are within a normal range, so excessive daytime sleep might not be the issue.

2. Adjust Bedtime: On average, babies at this age sleep about 10-12 hours each night. If her bedtime is too early, she may end up awake in the early hours. For example, a 6:30 pm bedtime with a 7:30 am wake-up is 13 hours in bed, which may be too long if she only needs 10 hours of sleep. I don’t believe this is the primary issue here, but to make sure, could you let me know what her bedtime is? And what time she wakes up overnight?

3. Encourage Independent Sleeping: Learning to fall asleep independently can greatly improve sleep patterns. Once she gets the hang of it, those overnight wake-ups and long periods of being awake might reduce naturally. Plus, once she can fall asleep on her own her naps will lengthen, possibly allowing for a later bedtime, which might help her sleep more soundly through the night.

I hope that makes it a bit clearer for you.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Vivian,

It’s great to hear that your little one is adjusting to sleeping on his tummy, though I understand the scream-crying before naps and sometimes during the day can be quite worrisome.

Firstly, if he is scream-crying throughout the day and this is a new behaviour, it’s important to consult his doctor to ensure he is healthy—perhaps check his ears or for other common issues. While it’s normal for babies to go through phases of fussiness, they should also have times in the day where they are happy and content to play. So, if the crying is constant, a visit to the doctor can help rule out any underlying problems.

If the scream-crying isn’t constant and occurs only at certain times during the day, it might be his new way of communicating to you his needs. For example he might do it to let you know that he is bored, hungry, tired or uncomfortable.

If the scream-crying isn’t occurring all day, it usually happens at sleep time for a couple of reasons:

• He might not be tired enough: If he continues to scream-cry for a prolonged period while you’re trying to get him to sleep and it takes more than 20 minutes to fall asleep, he may not be ready for sleep. You might need to extend his wake window slightly to ensure he’s tired enough to fall asleep.

• It could be his way of saying he is tired: If he calms down and falls asleep within 20 minutes, the crying is likely just his way of signalling that he’s tired.

To help him through this stage you just want to continue doing what you have been doing:

• Maintain a calm sleeping environment: Ensure his sleeping area is cool, dark, and free from sudden loud noises.

• Stick to a consistent nap and bedtime routine: Predictable nap and bedtime routines will signal to him that it’s time to wind down.

• Continue using the settling pyramid: At this age, he might be more aware of his surroundings, so it could be helpful to try putting him down in the crib and then leaving the room to complete the ‘Watch and Listen’ step outside the room. You can use a baby monitor to keep an eye on him, similar to what I demonstrated in the “Live Example – Reading Cues at 5 Months of Age” video.

• Give him the space to fall asleep: It takes time for babies to fall asleep, and in that process of falling asleep they might move around (trying to get comfortable) and call out. If he screams out and then pauses, just give him some space to try and fall asleep. But if he screams out and there are no pauses, then he is telling you he needs your help. At this point, you would go back into the room and start to move up the pyramid.

• Try to reduce the rocking: If you need to pick him up to calm him, try to put him back in the crib when he’s calm and then step down the pyramid to encourage self-soothing.

• Regular wake-up times: Keeping a consistent wake-up time each morning helps regulate his sleep patterns.

At this age, short catnaps are normal, but consistently using these strategies will help him develop the ability to link sleep cycles as he grows.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Maddie,

It’s so exciting that she has learned to roll over! I love seeing them start to move around!

Leg lifting and slamming are common in babies. As you mentioned, it can be a self-soothing technique. It can also happen because she is simply playing. She now has the core strength to lift her legs, and the crib mattresses, though firm, are great for bouncing their legs up and down!

It’s usually best to ignore it unless she starts crying or seems distressed, as this gives her space to fall back asleep.

I just wanted to quickly ask—if you place her in her crib during the day for some play, does she lift her legs and slam them down, or is this only something she does at night? If it’s only happening at night, do you feel like it is keeping her awake or waking her up?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

Staying at someone else’s house can make it a bit tricky to follow your usual bedtime routine. However, there are a few things you can do to help her fall asleep more easily:

1. Make the room dark: When you arrive, check the room where she’ll be sleeping. Turn off the lights, close the blinds, and see if it’s dark enough. If there’s still light, use portable blackout blinds. I usually bring two portable blinds when I travel. Remove any light sources you can.

2. Bring her white noise machine: Try to replicate her home sleeping environment. If she uses a white noise machine, bring it along.

3. Follow the same bedtime and nap routine: If possible, stick to the same nap and bedtime routine. This will cue her that sleep is coming, which might make her less likely to resist when you leave the room.

4. Shift nap and bedtime slightly later on the first day: It’s not uncommon for toddlers to protest more when they are placed in an unfamiliar environment to fall asleep. One way you can reduce the likelihood that she will protest is by shifting her nap time and bedtime 15 minutes later that first day. This will just increase the chances that she will be very tired when it’s nap time or bedtime and she will fall asleep without much fuss.

5. Reduce Environmental Noise and Your Discomfort – On the first day, see if you can have everyone move to the room farthest from where she’s sleeping or head outside to the backyard while she’s falling asleep. This can be challenging, but if possible, it can alleviate your concerns about her being upset on the first day she gets used to the new sleeping environment.

I hope you enjoy your time at your brother-in-law’s!

Emma

[Emma H]

It’s my pleasure!

[Emma H]

No worries! Hopefully my answer was not to difficult to understand

[Emma H]

Hi Anastasia,
I hope today went more smoothly!

Remember, learning to fall asleep in her sleep space is a skill your little one is developing, and it takes time and plenty of practice.

Just take it one sleep at a time!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jennifer,

Thanks so much for answering my questions.

From these responses I think the reason she stays awake for 2 hours after an overnight feed is because she’s not tired, as she has already had a large chunk of sleep. As a result, she is staying awake from a full wake window to build up enough sleep pressure to fall back asleep.

I also agree that it’s very likely your husband finds it easier to settle her to sleep because she has been awake for 2 hours and is then tired enough to fall asleep.

Teaching her to fall asleep independently in her crib could make a big difference. Typically, once babies learn to self-soothe and fall asleep independently, they naturally reduce their overnight wakes because they can fall back to sleep between sleep cycles on their own.

You mentioned that your husband has successfully used the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep for her morning nap. Are you happy to start using this technique for bedtime and any other naps she has in the crib during the day?

Once she learns to fall asleep on her own in the crib, I expect those overnight feeds will start to reduce and her naps will start to lengthen again.

Does that make sense?

Emma