[Emma H]

Hi Luise,

It’s great to hear you have already started trying the SNOO for a nap!

In regards to settling her to sleep in the SNOO:

I would recommend trying for about 20 minutes if you can. As you’ve noticed, it can take babies up to that long to fall asleep, especially when they’re learning to self-settle.

The fact that she lies there wide-eyed but calm is actually a really good sign — even though I can imagine it feels a little frustrating when you just want her to drift off! (I can just picture her little eyes staring at you — it sounds gorgeous and cheeky at the same time. 😊)

To make it easier for her to fall asleep, you could try:

• Making the bedroom really dark (so dark that you can’t see your hand if you hold it in front of your face).
• Completing the “watch and listen” step of the sleeping pyramid out of her line of sight.
• You could either stay quietly in the room (but out of view) or monitor her from outside the room using the baby monitor.
• If making it very dark seems to upset her, you could initially leave the door slightly open to allow a little light in — and adjust as needed based on how she responds.

Regarding the bedtime routine:

It’s absolutely fine if you don’t do a bath or change her clothes before bed. She will still associate the other parts of the routine — like the lullaby and winding down activities — as her cues for sleep. Consistency is what matters most.

About naps in the baby carrier:

When I mentioned reducing bouncing, I was referring to the start of the nap only.

Once she is asleep and if she starts stirring between sleep cycles, you can absolutely start bouncing again to help her link sleep cycles and extend the nap. That way, you can protect those longer naps while still slowly working towards independent sleep skills.

If she starts having shorter naps in the SNOO, I still recommend offering a feed when she wakes.

As her wake windows naturally lengthen with age, her feeds will also start spacing out more naturally over time — so it should balance itself out without encouraging “snacking.”

You mentioned an important difference between overnight and daytime transfers:

At bedtime and overnight, her circadian rhythm and sleep pressure are both helping her fall asleep and stay asleep. But during the day, only sleep pressure is helping — and because daytime sleep is lighter and less anchored by the body clock, it’s much harder to transfer her without waking.

(You’ll also find it’s much harder in the very early morning hours for the same reason — sleep pressure is low after a long stretch of sleep, and circadian rhythms are signaling it’s almost time to wake.)

Finally, about sleepy cues during the day:

What I often suggest is that when you first notice early sleepy cues (like eye rubbing or fussiness), change the activity or the scenery.

Boredom cues and tiredness cues look very similar at this age.

• If after changing things up she still fusses, rubs her eyes, or becomes unsettled, it’s a good sign she’s truly tired and ready for a nap.
• If she perks up with a new activity, she might not have been tired yet.

At this stage, most babies stay awake anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours, but because she’s having long naps in the carrier, she might tolerate slightly longer wake windows than average.

Also, the quality and length of her previous nap will impact how long she can stay awake — so it’s always best to balance sleepy cues with age-appropriate wake windows and the general wake–feed–play–sleep pattern.

I hope that makes sense!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Giedre,

It’s so lovely to hear from you again — I can’t believe your little one is already 11 months old! Time really does fly. 🥰

I just have a few quick questions to help me better understand what’s happening right now so we can put together a plan for you:

• Could you tell me what her current daily schedule looks like? (Her wake-up time, the timing of her nap, what time she wakes from her nap, her bedtime, and when she actually falls asleep.)

• Can you update me on her nap routine? (What you do before her nap, and how she falls asleep for naps.)

• Can you also update me on her bedtime routine?(What steps you’re taking to get her to sleep at night, and how she’s finally falling asleep.)

• Also could you let me know what’s happening overnight? (How often she’s waking, what are the timings of these wakings, if you’re feeding her for any of these wakes and/or how you are settling her back to sleep etc.)

• Also, I’m not sure where she’s sleeping now — is she currently sleeping in her own room in a crib, in your room in a crib, or is she starting off in the crib and then co-sleeping later in the night so everyone can get some rest?

Once I have a little more detail, I’ll be able to give you a much more specific plan to help her (and you!) get back on track.

Looking forward to hearing back from you!

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Elisa,

Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of that detail — it’s incredibly helpful, and you explained everything so clearly!

Honestly, it sounds like your little one’s sleep is going so well overall — you both should be very proud. You’ve clearly worked hard to build strong foundations, and it really shows. Well done!

In regards to your first question about the catnaps — yes, this is very normal at this age. However, given that your little one can fall asleep independently and her room is nice and dark, I’m wondering if the short naps might be linked to wake windows and sleep pressure. It’s possible that she has enough sleep pressure to initially fall asleep, but not quite enough to stay asleep for two sleep cycles. At around 4 months of age, many babies can manage a wake window of about 2 to 2.5 hours. Are you able to let me know how long she is currently staying awake between naps?

In regards to her overnight wakes: Because she can fall asleep independently and because offering the pacifier only delayed the wake (rather than eliminating it), I think her wake-ups are genuinely due to hunger. This could be linked to a growth spurt, fluctuations in daytime intake, or just general developmental needs right now.

At this age, it’s very normal for babies to wake once or even twice overnight for feeds.
Over time, this should naturally start to reduce as she grows and her feeding consolidates more during the day.

One little tip that might help: At 4 months, babies are much more aware of their surroundings and can easily get distracted while feeding. If her daytime bottles are in a quiet, low-stimulation environment (dim lighting, minimal noise), she may take fuller feeds, which might gradually help stretch her nighttime sleep even further.

Regarding the early morning wake-ups: If they haven’t already stopped (fingers crossed!), there could be a few reasons for them:

• If she’s overtired from short naps, that can cause early wakes.

• If her bedtime has shifted earlier (or if her last nap stretches too late), she may simply be reaching her overnight sleep needs earlier.

Given that her last nap has recently extended and this change coincided with the early wakes, I think the best fix would be to cap the final nap of the day, so she wakes at her usual time from that nap.
Then continue with her normal bedtime routine.

If you feel she’s too tired for an 8:00 PM bedtime, you could shift it slightly earlier to 7:30–7:45 PM, and keep it consistent for at least 3 days. This gives her circadian rhythm enough time to adjust.

In the meantime, it’s also important to delay starting the day if she wakes early:

• Keep interactions minimal.

• Keep the room dark.

• Hold off on offering a feed until 6:00 AM if possible (feeding earlier can reinforce the early wake).

If waiting until 6:00 AM is too challenging (especially if she’s wide awake at 5:30 AM), you could shift her official wake-up time to 5:45 AM for 3 days, and then push it to 6:00 AM afterward.

Does this make sense?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Holly,

First, I just want to say—you’re doing an incredible job. It’s clear how much love, time, and energy you’re putting into helping your little one with sleep, and I know how exhausting and overwhelming it can feel when it seems like nothing is working. Please know you’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to feel at your wit’s end.

To help get you both more sleep (and reduce the fight at every nap and bedtime!), I just have a few quick questions first.

I’m so sorry — I know you’re probably just wanting answers right now, but gathering a little more detail will help me give you specific advice that’s truly tailored to your little one and what will actually work.

When you have a moment, could you quickly jot down the answers for me?

Once I have them, I’ll come back with a clear plan of attack to make life easier for both of you!

1. Based on your description of her sleep routine, it sounds like either you or your husband are currently holding her until she falls asleep (which makes total sense for where she’s at right now!). I’m just wondering—after you finish singing her nap song, are you walking her around the room, rocking or patting her, or standing still while she falls asleep?
2. Also, when you’re holding her, is she lying down horizontally in your arms or upright against your chest?
3. Once she’s asleep, you’re laying her into the crib—and at that point she wakes up. Then you’re stepping out of the room for a few minutes to see if she’ll resettle on her own. Is that right?
4. Has she learned how to roll over yet?
5. From what you’ve mentioned so far, it doesn’t sound like she’s using a pacifier—I just wanted to double-check that?
6. It sounds like you’re following a wake–feed–play–sleep routine during the day—is that right?
7. During her awake times, does she generally seem happy and content while playing with you, or would you describe her as being unsettled most of the time? I am just trying to rule out if there are any underlying reasons for her discomfort at sleep time.
8. From what you’ve described, it sounds like she’s getting about 4–5 naps per day. Could you let me know how long she typically manages to stay awake between naps? Is she able to handle a 2-hour wake window, or is it shorter?
9. You mentioned bedtime is usually somewhere between 6:30 PM and 7:30 PM. Does the timing of her bedtime vary based on when her final nap of the day ends?
10. It sounds like she eventually falls asleep around 8:00 PM. From the time you start the bedtime routine at 6:30–7:30 PM until she actually falls asleep, are you staying in the bedroom, settling her (holding her, putting her down, picking her up again, etc.) the whole time?
11. Does she wake overnight for feeds? If so, around what times does she typically wake up? I’m assuming the 3:00–4:00 AM wake-up is for a feed?
12. When she wakes overnight, have you been able to follow the wake–feed–sleep routine? Is the bedroom kept dark during overnight wakes? Also, if she wakes at times other than 3:00–4:00 AM, are you able to lay her back down in the crib after feeding or settling?

Again I am sorry for all the questions!

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Luise,

Thank you so much for all these details—I know how overwhelming it can feel when what once worked suddenly doesn’t. It doesn’t mean you have a “difficult” baby, just that her needs are shifting as she grows.

Something to be aware of is that at 8 weeks, your little one is hitting the peak of the Period of Purple Crying so this might be the reason she is so fussy/difficult to settle to sleep between 6 and 10pm. Do you notice if she cluster feeds at this time? Or does she just happily play on the floor with you during these 4 hours? If she is cluster feeding at this time, something that might be happening is she may actually be dozing off without you realizing it—those “sneaky naps” look just like feeding because she keeps sucking, but you’ll notice the swallows slow way down.

To help with daytime naps I just have a few questions – sorry, but they’ll help me give you the best advice!

• What time does she usually wake up in the morning?

• How many naps does she take each day?

• How long is she awake between those naps?

• Are you following a wake → feed → play → sleep routine during the day?

• Does she use a pacifier when napping?

• Do you swaddle her for every nap?

• When you pop her into the SNOO, is the rocking and white-noise turned on?

• Have you got a nap-time routine going? If so, what steps do you follow?

• Is she on breastmilk, formula, or a mix of both?

• You mentioned she’s harder to settle lately—does that happen with every nap or just the late-day one?

• What’s her daytime sleep space like—light levels, temperature, and any background sounds?

Again I am sorry for all the questions,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

I just have a few more quick questions—sorry!

You mentioned that all of her naps are now in the pram, which is such a fantastic transition from the sling!

I was just wondering if you could walk me through her nap routine and how you’re getting her to fall asleep in the pram?

Also, when she’s asleep in the pram, where is the pram located?

Do you bring it into the bedroom, complete the nap routine there, and then leave her sleeping in the pram?

And just to double-check, I’m assuming it’s a bassinet-style pram where she’s lying flat, rather than sitting up in a reclined position?

I also noticed that she’s currently getting about 1–1.5 hours of sleep for her first and second naps, which is great! Are you needing to push the pram to help her link sleep cycles, or is she managing to stay asleep on her own?

Lastly, could you also update me on what time she typically wakes up in the morning and what time she usually goes to bed at night?

Thank you so much for answering all these extra questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

At 10 months old, it’s generally still a little early to transition down to one nap. Most little ones make that shift closer to 15 months, on average.

Also, something important to note — learning new skills like crawling (which it sounds like Ro’s doing!) can temporarily disrupt sleep and cause little bumps along the way. It’s very normal and just a sign of all the amazing growth happening.

Another thing to keep in mind is that it’s perfectly normal for babies to take up to 20 minutes to fall asleep. Since Ro is happily lying in his crib and eventually drifting off, it sounds like he’s just taking some natural wind-down time to settle himself, which is a really healthy sleep habit.

Since he’s a happy little guy and continues to sleep well overnight, you can absolutely keep following his lead.

However, if you’re concerned about how long it’s taking him to fall asleep at bedtime, here’s something you could try:

Over the next week, track the time he wakes up from his second nap and the exact time he actually falls asleep at night (not just when the bedtime routine begins, but when he’s truly asleep).
After a week, review your notes to see how long that final wake window really is.

Based on what you’ve shared and his age, I wouldn’t be surprised if his final wake window is around 4 hours—which is very typical for this stage of development.

If it turns out he does need a little more awake time before bed, you have two options:

• Option 1: Keep his current nap schedule but shift bedtime about 30 minutes later.
• Option 2: Adjust the timing of his naps slightly earlier in the day so that he naturally has a longer final wake window before bedtime.

If you’d like to try option two, let me know — we can work together to tweak his nap schedule!

Based on what you’ve shared, it sounds like his current routine looks something like this:

• Wake up: 6:00 AM
• First nap: 9:00 AM
• Wake: 10:15 AM
• Second nap: 1:45 PM
• Wake: 2:15 PM
• Bedtime: around 6:00 PM

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Marien,

I’m so glad everything is making more sense!

If your little one is awake for more than 2 hours, it’s absolutely not harmful for her.
You might find that she needs a little extra help winding down before falling asleep, but it’s not bad for her development at all. She will fall asleep — so please don’t worry.

As she gets closer to 4 months of age, her wake windows will naturally start to stretch, and she’ll likely be able to stay awake comfortably for 2 to 2.5 hours. This is a completely normal part of her development.

It’s also perfectly fine to try to extend her nap if it’s short and you’re able to do so (especially since most babies find it hard to go back to sleep after a brief nap).
The key focus at this stage is how she falls asleep at the start of the nap—that’s what helps build her independent sleep skills.

On that note, have you had a chance to start trying the settling pyramid with her yet to help her practice falling asleep in the crib?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

It’s fantastic that you’ve already started! How have the last few nights gone?

Have you noticed any small changes in how Maxi is settling—even if it’s just a little more calmness or slightly less time needed to relax?

Regarding Maxi’s daytime naps:

To help make sure he builds up enough sleep pressure to fall asleep in the crib at bedtime, we want to ensure he’s awake for about 1.5 hours before bedtime. Since your goal is a 7:30–8:00 PM bedtime, this means his final nap of the day should end around 6:00–6:30 PM.

On a 5-nap schedule, it could look something like this:

• 6:30/7:00 AM – Wake up

• 8:30 AM – Nap 1 (30–40 minutes)

• 9:00/9:10 AM – Wake

• 10:30 AM – Nap 2 (around 1 hour)

• 11:30 AM – Wake

• 1:00 PM – Nap 3 (around 40 minutes)

• 1:40 PM – Wake

• 3:10 PM – Nap 4 (30 minutes–1 hour)

• 3:40/4:10 PM – Wake

• 5:10/5:40 PM – Nap 5 (30–40 minutes)

• 5:40/6:10 PM – Wake

• 7:30/8:00 PM – Bedtime

Something else you could consider is to start to gradually extend his wake windows by about 15 minutes (from 1.5 hours to 1 hour 45 minutes). If you do this, you will notice that Maxi naturally drops the 5th nap (which it sounds like he is doing).

On a slightly longer wake window schedule, Maxi’s day might look like this:

• 6:30/7:00 AM – Wake up

• 8:45 AM – Nap 1 (30–40 minutes)

• 9:30 AM – Wake

• 11:15 AM – Nap 2 (about 1 hour)

• 12:15 PM – Wake

• 2:00 PM – Nap 3 (about 40 minutes)

• 2:40 PM – Wake

• 4:25 PM – Nap 4 (30 minutes–1 hour)

• 5:00/5:30 PM – Wake

• 7:00/7:30 PM – Bedtime

Even though you’re aiming for a 7:30–8:00 PM bedtime to keep him on track for a 6:30–7:00 AM wake-up, you might find that even with a slightly earlier bedtime (around 7:00–7:30 PM), he still wakes naturally between 6:30–7:00 AM.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Luise,

Wow—thank you for all that detail! You’re doing a fantastic job navigating a tricky stage.

Based on what you have mentioned I have a few suggestions/comments:

Period Of PURPLE Crying

Based on what you’ve described, it really sounds like the fussiness between 6 PM and 10 PM is the Period of PURPLE Crying.

This is a completely normal part of development, where babies tend to become fussy and cry more during a predictable time window each day. It often seems to come out of nowhere—one minute everything is fine, and then almost like clockwork, the fussiness begins. And just as suddenly, they settle and eventually drift off to sleep.

During this fussy window, it really helps to embrace it as much as possible and remind yourself that it’s temporary. Each week, the amount of time they spend fussing gradually shortens, and somewhere between 3 to 4 months of age, this fussy period usually disappears completely.

In the course, I have a video all about the Period of PURPLE Crying, including some really helpful strategies you can use during this time. Have you had a chance to check it out yet?

Nap Schedule
As you mentioned, at this age there unfortunately isn’t a consistent nap schedule yet. The length and quality of each nap can vary quite a bit, which means the amount of time your baby can stay awake before needing another nap will also change from nap to nap. At this stage, having 4 to 5 naps per day is completely normal and expected.

Nap Length
As you’ve noticed, your little one’s nap lengths can vary quite a bit – and the good news is, this is completely normal at this age. Naps anywhere from 20 minutes to a few hours are all considered typical right now.

You’ve also observed that if she wakes from a nap and you’re unable to settle her back to sleep right away, it becomes very difficult to get her to fall asleep again. This happens because her sleep pressure – which is the internal drive that helps her fall asleep – dissipates during sleep. Once she’s had a nap, even a short one, her sleep pressure is reduced, which means she simply might not be tired enough to drift back to sleep immediately.

Wake Windows
You mentioned that she’s becoming harder to settle for sleep and that her eyes are wide open. This could be happening for two main reasons:

1. Increased awareness – Around this age, babies start to become more alert and interested in their surroundings, making it harder for them to fall asleep when there’s so much to see and take in.

2. Needing more awake time – At 9 weeks, she’s having fairly long naps during the day. Because of this, she might be able to tolerate slightly longer wake windows before needing to sleep again.

When it’s time for her nap, instead of walking outside with her in the carrier, try walking into your bedroom, closing the blinds, and turning off the lights to make the room dark. Reducing visual stimulation like this will help minimize distractions and make it easier for her to fall asleep (if distractions are the main reason she’s struggling to settle).

• If she falls asleep quickly and easily in the darker room, then you’ll know that distractions were the issue.
• If it still takes her more than 20 minutes to fall asleep, even in a dark, calm environment, then it suggests she may need a longer wake window. In that case, keep a record of how long she’s staying awake and how long it’s taking her to fall asleep. This will help you figure out what her new optimal wake windows are.

Nap Routine in the Carrier
You mentioned that when she’s getting tired and ready for a nap, you place her in the carrier and walk around outside while patting her back until she falls asleep. I was wondering if you’d be open to making a few small tweaks to this routine?

• After placing her in the carrier and walking outside or into the dark bedroom, try singing a lullaby while gently patting her back. This will start to create a strong sleep cue.

• Once the lullaby finishes and she’s calm, begin shushing while continuing to pat her.

• Gradually slow down your walking or bouncing until you come to a complete stop, while still shushing and patting.

• Then stop patting and continue just shushing.

• Finally, stop shushing too, and simply hold her quietly until she falls asleep.

By gradually removing movement and noise, you’re helping her gently learn how to fall asleep with fewer sleep associations. This will make it much easier to transition her to settling independently in the SNOO later, using the settling pyramid approach when she’s ready.

Consider Trying the First Nap of the Day in the SNOO

I know for the past 10 days you’ve been doing all naps in the carrier, but I was wondering if you’d be open to just trying one nap a day in the SNOO? This would give her the opportunity to slowly practice falling asleep in a crib environment.

If you’re willing to give it a try, the first nap of the day is the best one to start with. Babies usually find it easier to fall asleep for this nap. As the day goes on, naps tend to become progressively harder, with the last nap typically being the most difficult.

If you’re happy to give it a go, here’s how you could approach it with just a few small tweaks to your previous nap routine:

• Swaddle her

• Turn on white noise

• Close the blinds and slightly close the bedroom door (just enough so you can still peek and see her eyes)

• Walk, bounce, or rock her gently while singing a lullaby

• Once the lullaby is finished and she’s calm, gradually slow down your rocking

• Gently lay her down in the SNOO and follow the settling pyramid:

  • If you need to “climb up” the pyramid (meaning she gets unsettled), and if you have the time and energy, calm her back down and try laying her down again, working through the pyramid steps.

  • If you climb up the pyramid and you’re too tired or short on time, it’s absolutely fine to pop her back into the carrier and settle her to sleep there.

A few things to keep in mind:

• If she does fall asleep in the SNOO, it’s completely normal if the nap only lasts about 30 minutes. Short naps at this age are very common.

• After a short nap like that, she may only be able to stay awake for around 45 minutes before needing another nap—and that’s okay!

• The main goal right now isn’t getting a long nap in the SNOO—it’s simply helping her practice falling asleep there.

Also, just a note about the longer naps she’s having in the carrier (usually 1 hour 15 minutes to 1 hour 45 minutes). These longer naps are likely happening because when she stirs between sleep cycles, you’re there to gently bounce, pat, or shush her back to sleep. When she’s in the SNOO, those same immediate supports aren’t available, so her naps will naturally be shorter—and again, this is completely normal and nothing to worry about.

Bedtime

When it comes to bedtime, here are a few things you can try:

1. Shift her bedtime to 9:30 PM – You mentioned that her current bedtime is 8:45 PM, but she often doesn’t fall asleep until between 9:30 and 10 PM. Unfortunately, at this age, it’s quite common for bedtime to be on the later side. Given that she’s not actually falling asleep until 9:30/10 PM, it’s likely that her true bedtime right now is closer to that later time.

   You can absolutely continue aiming for an 8:45 PM bedtime if you’d like, but if you’re finding it frustrating to spend 45 minutes to over an hour trying to get her to sleep, you might find it helpful to shift her bedtime routine later. You could start the bedtime routine around 9:15 PM and have her in bed by 9:30 PM instead.

   Around 3–4 months of age, her natural bedtime will usually start to shift earlier on its own. By the time she’s about 4 months old, bedtime typically falls somewhere between 7–8 PM.

2. Follow a Consistent Bedtime Routine – Something else I would recommend is you start following a consistent bedtime routine. So it might look a little like this:

   • Bath time

   • PJs on

   • Feed

   • Swaddle or place her in her sleeping bag

   • Sing the same lullaby each night while rocking her in your arms

   Once the lullaby finishes, gradually stop rocking, walking, or bouncing her. Transition to just patting and shushing. After a few moments, stop patting but continue shushing. Then, stop shushing as well. Finally, gently lay her on the mattress and use the settling pyramid approach if needed—meaning you aim to settle her in her bed first, but if it becomes too overwhelming, you can climb back up the pyramid to holding and settling her in your arms.

3. You also mentioned that bedtime and overnight sleep have been becoming more challenging, with her now waking every 2 hours. If she’s consistently waking at regular 2-hour intervals, it’s a sign that her sleep cycles are maturing. She’s likely waking between sleep cycles and calling out to you to help recreate the same sleep conditions she had when she initially fell asleep (such as being held).

   To help her sleep for longer stretches, the goal is to gently guide her toward learning how to fall asleep independently. At this young age, you can do this very gradually, starting with bedtime (when her circadian rhythm—still maturing—and her natural sleep pressure are working together to make falling asleep easier) and her first nap of the day. Once she’s more comfortable falling asleep independently at bedtime and for the first nap, you can slowly start applying the same strategy to the second nap, third nap, and so on.

   In the meantime, feeding her when she wakes overnight is absolutely okay. Just be aware that those early morning wake-ups (around 5:00, 6:00, and 7:00 AM) will naturally be harder to settle, as her sleep pressure is low by then and she’s less sleepy.

Does this make sense and sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Stephanie,

First up—huge congrats on going pacifier-free and settling independently! 🎉 You’re doing an amazing job.

I’m so sorry you had to stop breastfeeding; I know that shift can feel really disappointing when it wasn’t your choice. It sounds like your little one is adapting well despite the change.

Having a longer WW just before bedtime, can lead to a longer stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night – simply because they build up more sleep pressure before bedtime so they sleep for longer.

To test this you could try making sure that his wake window before bed tomorrow night is 1 1/2 hours and see if the same thing happens.

The other thing that can impact the beginning of the night is the timing of your bedtime (if you are sharing a room). From memory, he is sleeping in another room. Is that correct?

In regards to increasing his daytime feeds, at this age, they become very aware and distracted by their environment, which can lead to them taking shorter feeds. Something you could try is feeding him in a quieter/ possibly darker room when he first wakes from his naps and see if this leads to him drinking more.

Let me know how you go.

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

Wow—she’s really on the move now! That’s exciting, but I know it can make sleep trickier. The good news is you can absolutely start practicing nap routines right away—the more chances she gets, the faster she’ll learn.

You mentioned she’s stirring overnight and then staying awake for long stretches. To help improve this, could you share:

1. Her current nap routine—when each nap starts and how long it lasts.

2. Her current bedtime routine—step by step, from the moment you begin winding down to when she actually falls asleep.

3. Overnight details—what time she goes to bed, when she’s waking, how long she stays awake, and what you’re doing to help her settle back down.

Once I know these things I will be able to give you specific advice so that her sleep gets back on track.

Thanks
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

Thank you so much for clarifying this.

Since Maxi is almost four months old and normally drifts off on your chest, those 30-minute wakings in his co-sleeper are likely him briefly waking between sleep cycles and looking for the familiar chest-sleeping feel. So the key to getting him to sleep for longer stretches in the co-sleeper (and more sleep for you all) is to give him lots of opportunity to learn how to fall asleep in the co-sleeper instead of your arms.

Would you be open to helping him learn to settle in his co-sleeper at bedtime? I know you’d planned to tackle naps first, but because his circadian rhythm and sleep pressure naturally align most strongly in the evening, you’ll probably see faster results at night.

If you’re happy to give this a try, could you…

Cap his final nap

To build enough sleep pressure for an 8:00 pm bedtime, he’ll need a wake window of about 1½–2 hours at this age. Could you track:

1. When each nap starts and ends

2. How long he stays awake between naps

Once we know his current schedule, I can pinpoint exactly when his last nap should finish—likely around 6:00–6:30 pm if bedtime is 8:00 pm.

Tweak his bedtime routine

Right now Maxi drifts off feeding or in your arms. Would you be happy to tweak this slightly so that we give Maxi an opportunity to learn how to fall asleep in the co-sleeper with you there but not necessarily holding him to sleep? So the new routine could look a little like this:

• When he wakes from his final nap, offer a feed.
• Enjoy some playtime.
• As he gets drowsy, dim the living-room lights and play your Disney lullaby.
• Change his diaper and put on PJs.
• Offer a final feed before bed—making sure he stays awake
• Walk into the bedroom, turn on the white-noise machine, and dress him in his sleep sack.
• Read one short book together.
• Sing the same lullaby while gently patting his bottom in the dark.
• If he’s calm: Lay him down awake in the co-sleeper and use the settling pyramid steps.
• If he’s still unsettled: Keep shushing/patting or rocking until he calms—then place him awake in the co-sleeper and finish with the settling pyramid OR if you feel that is too challenging right now let him fall asleep in your arms without movement or shushing.

By entering the bedroom awake and experiencing the white noise, sleep sack, book, and lullaby—all in the sleep space—he’ll start to learn those are the signals for “time to sleep.” And, this will make it easier for him to transition to using the settling pyramid when you are both ready.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

I’m really glad the course has helped you feel more patient, and I completely understand wanting to avoid the “cry it out” approach.

To make sure I have a clear picture of Maxi’s sleep pattern, could you help me clarify what happens after you place him in the co‑sleeper at bedtime? When you say he wakes about 30 minutes later, do you mean:

1. He wakes every 30 minutes for the rest of the night?

2. He sleeps in the co‑sleeper from around 7:30–8:00 pm, and then you and your husband take turns holding him against your chests for the remainder of the night?

3. He wakes once at around 8:30 pm, you hold him until he falls back asleep, then lay him back down and he stays asleep for a few hours until his first overnight feed?

Also, could you let me know what time his last nap of the day usually ends?

Sorry for the extra questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Marien,

No need to apologise—this is a great discussion to revisit! You’re absolutely right to think ahead about the 4‑month sleep regression, so let me clarify exactly what’s happening and how you can set her up for success.

Why the 4‑month mark feels tricky
Between about 3–5 months of age, babies’ sleep patterns mature. Instead of cycling through just two sleep stages (Active and Deep Sleep), they move through four stages, and then briefly wake at the end of the cycle. If your little one only ever learns to fall asleep while being held, there’s a chance she’ll wake after each cycle and need you to recreate that same “holding” environment to drift off again.

However, once she learns to settle off to sleep in her crib, she’s much more likely to settle back on her own between those brief wake‑ups—provided she’s still tired and not hungry.

You’re not stuck in “holding” forever
It’s absolutely possible to transition from holding your little one to settling her to sleep in the crib. The suggestions we discussed in April were to help your little one with this transition. These suggestions were:

1. Adjusting your nap/bedtime routine slightly.

2. Trying the settling pyramid once she started staying awake after feeds during the day.

3. If the settling pyramid wasn’t possible, settling her to sleep in your arms without movement (so while you hold her still).

Have you had a chance to implement the nap/bedtime routine and the settling pyramid? The settling pyramid is a gentle, step‑by‑step way to help her learn to fall asleep in the crib with your support—building exactly the skill she’ll need to fall back to sleep again when she briefly wakes between sleep cycles.

Does that make sense?

Emma