[Emma H]

Hi Brian and Katie,

Firstly—congratulations on the arrival of your little one! It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job finding a rhythm that works for your family, especially during such a tricky stage. And I’m so glad to hear the course (and the real-life baby videos!) have been helpful.

I’m sorry to hear that the Period of PURPLE Crying has been challenging—it really can be such a tough phase. Hopefully, some of the strategies in the video help make those moments even a little more manageable.

In terms of carrier naps—you’re absolutely right that babies often sleep longer in the carrier. That’s because we naturally rock and move, which helps them transition between sleep cycles. In regards to cutting a carrier nap short, it’s a good idea to cap the nap at around 2 hours. This helps prevent them from using up too much of their 24-hour sleep quota during the day, which could then impact night sleep.

You’re also spot on about waking him before bedtime. If he’s napping late into the evening—it can reduce the sleep pressure he needs to fall asleep and stay asleep for that first stretch of the night. Sleep pressure is the main driver of his sleep at this stage, so making sure there’s a solid awake window before bedtime can really help improve how easily and how long he sleeps for that first stretch of sleep overnight.

You’re clearly so in tune with his needs, and you’re doing an incredible job navigating it all (with a carrier and everything!). I’m so happy the course has been a useful support for you—and I’m always here if more questions come up!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Luise,

Thank you so much for your kind words—I’m so glad you’re enjoying the course! And I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and feelings so openly. It’s clear how much love and thought you’re putting into supporting your little one’s sleep and overall well-being.

I completely understand why you might feel conflicted. It’s so natural to want to make sure you’re doing what’s best for her, especially when you’re aware of how much babies thrive on closeness and connection. And you’re absolutely right—babies are wired to seek comfort and security from us.

I want to reassure you that building a secure attachment is about so much more than just one aspect of your day, like settling her to sleep. It’s the ongoing process of noticing her cues, responding to her needs, and providing comfort—whether you’re feeding her, playing with her, talking to her, or helping her fall asleep. And from what you’ve described, you’re doing all of that so beautifully.

Using the settling pyramid (or your modified version of it) is actually part of that process. It’s about being present, responsive, and supportive as she learns to feel safe and secure in her sleep space. You’re still noticing her signs and responding to her in a way that feels right for both of you, which is so valuable.

If you haven’t already seen it, I have a video on YouTube where I talk more about attachment and how it develops over time. It might help reassure you that what you’re doing is fostering a secure, loving bond with her. Here’s the link if you’re interested.

It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job of listening to her needs and finding a balance that works for both of you. And it’s completely okay to take things at your own pace, adjusting as you go.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

I’m really glad the course has helped you feel more patient, and I completely understand wanting to avoid the “cry it out” approach.

To make sure I have a clear picture of Maxi’s sleep pattern, could you help me clarify what happens after you place him in the co‑sleeper at bedtime? When you say he wakes about 30 minutes later, do you mean:

1. He wakes every 30 minutes for the rest of the night?

2. He sleeps in the co‑sleeper from around 7:30–8:00 pm, and then you and your husband take turns holding him against your chests for the remainder of the night?

3. He wakes once at around 8:30 pm, you hold him until he falls back asleep, then lay him back down and he stays asleep for a few hours until his first overnight feed?

Also, could you let me know what time his last nap of the day usually ends?

Sorry for the extra questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Marien,

No need to apologise—this is a great discussion to revisit! You’re absolutely right to think ahead about the 4‑month sleep regression, so let me clarify exactly what’s happening and how you can set her up for success.

Why the 4‑month mark feels tricky
Between about 3–5 months of age, babies’ sleep patterns mature. Instead of cycling through just two sleep stages (Active and Deep Sleep), they move through four stages, and then briefly wake at the end of the cycle. If your little one only ever learns to fall asleep while being held, there’s a chance she’ll wake after each cycle and need you to recreate that same “holding” environment to drift off again.

However, once she learns to settle off to sleep in her crib, she’s much more likely to settle back on her own between those brief wake‑ups—provided she’s still tired and not hungry.

You’re not stuck in “holding” forever
It’s absolutely possible to transition from holding your little one to settling her to sleep in the crib. The suggestions we discussed in April were to help your little one with this transition. These suggestions were:

1. Adjusting your nap/bedtime routine slightly.

2. Trying the settling pyramid once she started staying awake after feeds during the day.

3. If the settling pyramid wasn’t possible, settling her to sleep in your arms without movement (so while you hold her still).

Have you had a chance to implement the nap/bedtime routine and the settling pyramid? The settling pyramid is a gentle, step‑by‑step way to help her learn to fall asleep in the crib with your support—building exactly the skill she’ll need to fall back to sleep again when she briefly wakes between sleep cycles.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

It’s so lovely to hear from you and get an update on how Rohan is going—I can’t believe he’s already nearly 10 months old!

In regards to your questions, your instinct to start balancing a combination of sleepy cues and age-appropriate wake windows to guide his nap timing is absolutely spot on.

In terms of naps:

• On a two-nap schedule, it’s very normal for naps to vary anywhere between 45 minutes and 2 hours.

• Often, we aim for the second nap to be the longer one, as this is usually the nap babies hold onto when they eventually transition to one nap.

• That said, it’s perfectly fine if both naps are around 1.5 hours, or if the first nap ends up being longer—it’s all about what works best for their natural rhythm.

When Rohan eventually transitions to a one-nap schedule—which typically happens around 15 months—you’ll either gradually push the morning nap later until it falls around midday, or you might drop the morning nap altogether and keep the longer afternoon nap.

For now, I’d continue doing exactly what you’re doing—adjusting slightly based on how long it’s taking him to fall asleep, and using his sleepy cues alongside the clock as a guide.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

Thank you so much for the update! It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job staying consistent and patient, even through such a tricky phase.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like teething could be starting—especially with the drooling, chewing for comfort, fussiness, and wanting extra cuddles. One thing to keep in mind, though, is that the painful part of teething usually only happens right when the tooth is about to break through the gum line, and that discomfort typically only lasts a few days at most. So, if the sleep disruption continues for more than a week, it’s likely that something else.

It’s fantastic that you’re keeping up with the daytime sleep routine! Even if things feel a bit bumpy right now, that consistency really helps your little one feel secure and will make it easier for him to settle back into better naps once this phase passes.

It’s wonderful that he’s started rolling! 🎉 Once your paediatrician gives the go-ahead, allowing him to sleep on his tummy if he rolls there himself (and ensuring a safe sleep environment—firm mattress, fitted sheet, no loose bedding or bumpers) could definitely help. Many babies sleep more deeply and for longer stretches once they can find their own comfortable position, especially if they’ve always enjoyed tummy time or lying on your chest.

In regards to bedtime, could you update me on how you’re currently helping him fall asleep—specifically, what your bedtime routine looks like? Also, I’d love to know what time he’s actually falling into a deep sleep at night (even if he’s lying on your chest)—meaning the time when you no longer need to shush, rock, or actively settle him.

I’m asking because I’m wondering if the reason he might be waking around 30 minutes after going down is that his true bedtime might actually be a little later than it seems right now.

Having a clearer picture will help me guide you with any gentle tweaks we might want to try!

Emma

• This reply was modified 12 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Emily,

Thank you so much for your detailed update—you’re doing such a wonderful job navigating all these changes, even when things feel tough.

To start with your question about feeding—yes, it’s definitely possible for some babies to just be naturally slower feeders. As long as he’s gaining weight steadily, generally content when awake, and feeding isn’t painful for you (or noisy, like clicking sounds during feeds), then it may just be his normal pattern. However, if any of those issues are popping up, it might be helpful to have a paediatric speech pathologist who specialises in infant feeding take a look at his latch and sucking technique.

Honestly, with everything your little one has been through recently—reactions to vaccines, illness serious enough to need hospital care, learning to roll, and transitioning out of the swaddle—it’s no wonder his sleep has been unsettled. That’s a lot of big adjustments for such a little person, and it’s completely normal for him to need some extra support while he settles back into things.

It will be really interesting to see whether his sleep improves once he starts rolling fully onto his tummy during sleep, especially since you mentioned he loved that position as a newborn!

Given that the settling pyramid isn’t working as well at the moment and you’re needing to settle him to sleep in your arms and he is waking so frequently overnight and during naps, I was wondering if you would consider ditching the pacifier completely? Now that his arms are free, it’s very likely that the pacifier is either falling out during sleep or he’s knocking it out himself. Then, when he stirs between sleep cycles and it’s not there, it’s causing him to wake fully and call out for help. So I think removing the pacifier and helping him learn how to fall asleep without it (initially while in you’re arms), will help extend those naps and overnight sleep. If you’re open to removing it his new nap routine could look like this:

• Put him in his sleeping bag.

• Walk around the living room a few times to help him settle.

• Bring him into the bedroom, close the curtains, and turn on white noise.

• Hold and gently rock him while singing a lullaby.

• After the lullaby, slow the rocking and start patting and shushing.

• Then stop rocking completely and just pat and shush.

• Then stop patting and just shush.

• Finally, stop shushing and allow him to fall asleep without movement or noise.

This gradual approach helps him learn to fall asleep without needing external props like sucking, rocking, or shushing, and will eventually make the transition back to using the settling pyramid much smoother.

If you’re not quite ready to ditch the pacifier yet, that’s completely okay too. In that case, I would suggest following the same routine above, but just before he falls asleep, gently remove the pacifier by slipping your little finger into the corner of his mouth to break the seal.

You also mentioned that he often jolts awake when you lower him into the crib. A small adjustment that sometimes helps is this:

• Lower his legs onto the mattress first, then his bottom, and finally his head.

• Once he’s down, gently hold his arms close to his sides with your hands for a few seconds to help him feel secure, and then slowly lift your hands away once he seems settled.

This can reduce the startle reflex and make the crib transfer a little smoother.

In regards to wake up time and bedtime. Typically, with a wake-up time around 6–7am, bedtime tends to fall somewhere between 7–8pm. Now that you’re starting the day around 8am, a bedtime between 8–9pm makes sense for now.

If you’d like to shift his wake-up time even earlier to help encourage better night sleep, I’d recommend doing it gradually:

• Days 1–3: Wake at 7:45am

• Days 4–6: Wake at 7:30am

• Days 7–9: Wake at 7:15am

• Days 10–12: Wake at 7:00am

This gradual adjustment helps his circadian rhythm shift more naturally—kind of like easing into a new time zone.

Also, I was just wondering if his first nap is starting to happen more consistently around 9:30–10am?

Does this sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Em,

It’s so good to hear that he is fully recovered now. It must be such a relief to know that you’re past that.

You mentioned that people keep saying your little one is going through a sleep regression. What many people refer to as the “4-month sleep regression” is actually a developmental progression. Around this age, babies’ sleep cycles mature—they move from having just 2 stages of sleep to now cycling through 4, like adults do. As a result, they briefly wake between each cycle, and if they don’t yet know how to resettle themselves, they’ll fully wake and call out for help. So it’s more accurate to think of it as a sleep progression, not a regression.

Based on the wake-up patterns you mentioned a few weeks ago, I believe your baby’s sleep has already gone through this transition, which would explain the increase in night waking.

It’s so great to hear that your little one is now staying awake during daytime feeds! That’s a big step forward. Just to check—does that also mean he’s no longer taking 20–60 minutes to finish a feed?

Also, it’s wonderful to hear you’re consistently using the settling pyramid to support him at naps and bedtime. Just to clarify—when you say you’re using the pyramid, is he falling asleep in the crib, or are you moving him up the pyramid and then holding him to sleep?

The fact that he’s rolling now is also exciting progress! But unfortunately, it can impact sleep, especially in the early weeks. Often, what makes this stage tricky is that babies are adjusting to sleeping with arms free after being swaddled, and it can take a few weeks for them to adjust to this change.

One thing you can try is: if he rolls onto his tummy in the crib on his own, and the crib is safe (firm mattress, fitted sheet only, no pillows or loose items), you can actually settle him to sleep using the pyramid while he’s on his tummy. Many babies sleep better in this position once they’re developmentally ready to get there themselves.

Something else to consider is removing the pacifier completely. Now that he’s able to fall asleep using the settling pyramid while lying in his crib, but is still waking frequently overnight, it’s possible the pacifier is playing a role. If he’s relying on it to fall back to sleep, then when it falls out during those brief wake-ups between sleep cycles, he may be waking fully and needing your help to resettle. Would you be happy to remove the pacifier? If you don’t yet feel comfortable with this you could use it at the beginning of the nap or bedtime routine and then remove it before you lay him down in the crib to start the settling pyramid.

You mentioned that you often feed him at 6am and sometimes 8am, but start the day around 9am. At this age, babies are naturally early risers—typically waking between 6:00 and 7:00am—just based on how their circadian rhythm is developing. Starting the day as late as 9am might actually be impacting his overall sleep, especially at bedtime and during the night.

I know it’s really tough when you’re already running on very little sleep, but shifting his wake-up time closer to 6:30 or 7am could help rebalance his sleep pressure throughout the day and support longer stretches of sleep overnight. Do you think that’s something you’d be open to trying?

I was also just wondering how many naps your little one is typically having now? And how much total daytime sleep?

Regarding the waking 25 minutes after bedtime—does this happen to line up with when you’re entering the room or heading to bed yourself? Sometimes, if we go into the room while our baby is in a lighter stage of sleep, we can accidentally wake them without realizing it.

If you’re finding that he wakes shortly after you’ve gone to bed, I’d recommend trying to shift your bedtime slightly. One helpful trick is to check the baby monitor (if you have one) just before entering the room. If he’s completely still—not moving, squirming, or making any noises—he’s likely in deep sleep, and it’s a good time to quietly enter. But if he’s moving around or making little sounds, he’s probably in lighter sleep and more at risk of waking fully if disturbed.

Do these suggestions sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Marien,

Before I can give you the best possible advice, I just have a few quick questions to help me understand what’s going on a little more clearly:

1. Is your little one formula-fed, mixed-fed (both breast and formula), or is she drinking expressed breast milk from a bottle?

2. You previously mentioned she was sleeping well overnight, but it sounds like that may have changed recently. You said bedtime is around 8pm and she was sleeping 4–5 hours before waking for a feed—so around 12am/1am. Is that still happening?

3. How many feeds is she currently having overnight—between 8pm and 7am?

4. Do you happen to know the times she generally wakes during the night?

5. How is her weight tracking? Is she gaining weight steadily and following her growth curve?

6. During the day, would you say she’s generally content when awake, or is she quite fussy or unsettled?

7. Lastly, how have things been going with the changes to her nap and bedtime routine—especially with helping her fall asleep in the crib or without needing to be rocked or moved?

Sorry for the question again.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Marien,

At 9 weeks, it’s completely normal for babies to wake multiple times overnight for feeds. It sounds like she may have been going longer between feeds previously, but if she’s now waking and not settling back to sleep with just rocking or soothing, it’s likely she’s genuinely hungry—and in that case, I’d absolutely recommend offering a feed.

To help keep things as calm and sleep-friendly as possible, try to keep the lights off or use very dim lighting (a red light is ideal if you have one).

If she’s not doing bowel movements overnight, you can follow the wake, feed, sleep pattern. But if she is doing bowel movements, then go with the wake, feed, change, feed, sleep pattern—just like I cover in the overnight video in the course.

I hope this helps,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

I’m so glad that made sense! And yes, it definitely sounds like your little one’s sleep is starting to mature, which is such a positive sign.

You’re doing a great job supporting her through this transition, and I’d actually recommend continuing with what you’re doing right now—with your main focus on gently working toward independent sleep at both bedtime and nap time, when possible. This is key, because around 5–6 months, most babies begin to naturally develop the ability to link sleep cycles during naps. If she already knows how to fall asleep on her own when that time comes, she’ll be much more likely to resettle herself between cycles and start taking longer naps independently.

As for extending naps with contact naps—that’s absolutely okay to do right now to help her get the rest she needs and avoid overtiredness. Just try to avoid letting those naps run too long, as that <em data-start=”1029″ data-end=”1034″>can begin to impact her night sleep. It would be helpful to know how long her naps currently are when she is napping on you and how long she’s staying awake between naps—feel free to share, and I can help you fine-tune things if needed!

In terms of her early morning wake-ups—shifting a baby’s wake-up time later is quite tricky and often doesn’t lead to consistent results, so I wouldn’t recommend trying to adjust it. That’s because after 10+ hours of night sleep, their sleep pressure is naturally low, and their circadian rhythm is signaling it’s time to wake up. On top of that, babies are naturally early risers, with a morning wake time between 6:00 and 7:00am being completely normal for this age.

And to answer your question about the night waking for a feed—it’s totally normal for things to be a bit inconsistent at this age, but there are things you can do to help encourage that longer first stretch after bedtime. The most effective one is continuing to focus on helping her fall asleep independently in the bassinet. Babies who fall asleep on their own are often better able to resettle themselves when they stir during the night, which can lead to longer stretches between feeds.

One other thing to consider is the timing of your own bedtime. If you’re going to bed shortly before she wakes, you may be unintentionally rousing her from sleep—especially if she’s in REM or a lighter stage of non-REM sleep. To avoid this, try entering the room when she’s in a deeper sleep stage. If you’re using a video monitor, have a quick look before going in: if she’s very still, she’s likely in deep sleep and it’s a good time to enter. If she’s moving around, grunting, or making little noises, she’s in a lighter sleep stage, and it’s best to wait a bit longer before going in.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Em,

First of all, please don’t apologise — you’ve had an incredibly rough stretch, and I can only imagine how physically and emotionally exhausting it’s been. Between the vaccines, the clock change, illness, and a hospital stay, that’s a lot of disruption for both of you. I’m really glad to hear he’s okay now, but I completely understand how thrown off things must feel.

The regression you’re seeing makes so much sense. Babies are incredibly sensitive to change—especially when they’re unwell or overtired—and even a few days of disrupted sleep can reset things in a big way. The good news is that because you’ve already seen some improvement before all of this, we know your little one can get into a more settled rhythm again.

Right now, it’s just about gently helping him reset

To get a clearer picture of where things are at and how we can best support him, I just have a few quick questions:

• Is he fully recovered now, or do you think he’s still in that post-illness recovery phase?

• Have you been able to start reintroducing some of the strategies we discussed earlier?

• Is his wake-up time fairly consistent each morning?

• During the day, is he staying awake after feeds and following a “wake, feed, play, sleep” rhythm?

• When it comes to settling for naps and bedtime, have you been able to start using the settling pyramid, or are you still needing to rock him to sleep?

• Is he still using the pacifier to fall asleep, or have you started phasing that out?

I know that’s a lot of questions—but it really helps me understand where things are at so I can suggest what to tweak next to get things back on track.

I have also answered your questions below

1. Bringing bedtime forward

You could think about starting to bring bedtime forward, but before you do I think it would be good to hear what he is currently doing and then what we can tweak to improve his sleep.

2. Daytime sleep and illness

It’s completely normal for your little one to sleep more while he’s unwell or recovering—extra rest helps his body heal. But once he’s feeling better, too much daytime sleep can start to impact his night sleep.

That’s because we all have a limited amount of sleep we need in a 24-hour period. For babies around this age, that total is usually between 12 to 15 hours. On average, they’ll manage about 3 to 4½ hours of sleep during the day, with the rest happening overnight.

If he sleeps too much during the day, there simply isn’t enough sleep “left” for nighttime.

Also, keep an eye on the timing of his last nap. If it ends too close to bedtime, he might not have had enough time to build up sleep pressure—which means he won’t be tired enough to fall asleep easily or stay asleep for long.

3. Teething
It’s definitely possible that teething has started—most babies get their first tooth between 4 to 7 months, but some can begin earlier. If it is teething, the painful part usually comes when the tooth is pushing through the gum, and this discomfort tends to last around 3 days. You’ll likely notice he’s fussier both during the day and night, and you may see a bluish-grey cyst or swelling on the gum where the tooth is about to break through.

That said, another very normal reason he might be biting down on his hands is simply developmental. Around 4 to 6 months, babies become more aware of their hands and start gaining better control. It’s a time when they explore the world by touching, grabbing, and mouthing everything, including their own hands and fingers. So, it may just be that he’s discovering a new way to self-soothe and explore!

Sorry again for even more questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

It’s great that you’re feeling optimistic and willing to give the gradual approach a try. Let me know how it goes!

You’re absolutely right to be cautious about using pillows or positioning your little one on their side. Both the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) and Red Nose Australia recommend always placing babies on their backs to sleep. Positioning them on their side or using pillows to keep them in a certain position increases the risk of suffocation and SIDS, so it’s not something I would recommend.

When babies learn to roll over independently, many prefer to sleep on their tummy. At that point, the recommendation is still to lay them down on their back when you place them in their sleep space—but once they roll themselves over, it’s okay to let them find their own comfortable position.

Just make sure they’re sleeping on a firm, flat surface with only a fitted sheet covering the mattress—no pillows, stuffed animals, loose blankets, or other soft items.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Luise,

It’s truly my pleasure!

I know how overwhelming and confusing it can feel with so much information out there. I really hope my response helped you feel a little more at ease and gave you some clarity and reassurance.

You’re doing an amazing job.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Aditi,

You’re absolutely right—wake windows can definitely vary from day to day and even nap to nap. That’s because how long babies can stay awake between naps depends on how quickly their “sleepiness fuel tank” fills up. And that fill-up rate can be influenced by so many factors:

• The quality and length of their previous nap.

• How busy or stimulating their wake window is.

• Whether they’re feeling well or starting to come down with something.

Generally, wake windows become more predictable after around 6 months of age, as naps start to consolidate and they settle into a more consistent nap schedule.

Before 6 months, though, it’s all about combining your knowledge of age-appropriate wake windows with their unique tired signs and following the wake, feed, play, sleep pattern.

Emma