[Emma H]

Hi Catherin,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful message — and for following along with my YouTube videos and taking the Peaceful Dreams course! I’m so glad it’s been helpful!

From what you’ve described, it sounds like your little one is currently falling asleep during her bedtime feed, then continuing to sleep in your arms before being transferred to the crib. This can work for a while, but as you’ve started to notice, it can cause difficulty when transferring her to the crib — especially if she stirs during the process.

The reason this is happening has to do with something called sleep pressure — one of the two systems that help drive sleep. When she initially falls asleep (especially in your arms), that sleep pressure begins to dissipate. Then, if she stirs or wakes up when being placed in the crib, she’s not as tired as she was when she first drifted off, which makes it harder for her to fall back to sleep without significant help — even with the settling pyramid.

For the settling pyramid to work well, it’s most effective when used before she falls asleep — ideally while she’s still awake but calm.

Now, since it’s so hard to keep babies from falling asleep during feeds, I was wondering if you would be happy to move the feed to the start of the bedtime routine? So it might look like this:

• Change into pajamas
• Offer her full feed in a brighter, more stimulating room (like the living room). This will help her stay more alert during the feed.
• If you notice she’s slowing down or just sucking without swallowing, gently pause the feed to wake her a bit — you can change her position or even do a quick diaper change mid-feed if needed.
• Once the feed is finished, move into the bedroom.
• Put her in her sleeping bag (if you use one), close the blinds, dim the lights,
• Sing a lullaby while you hold her in your arms
• Then lay her in the crib while she’s still awake but calm, and apply the settling pyramid if she needs some support falling asleep.

By simply moving the feed to the beginning of the bedtime routine, you’ll help ensure that her sleep pressure is still high when she’s placed in the crib. This makes it easier for her to fall asleep independently and allows the settling pyramid to be more effective if you need to use it. It should also reduce the overall time it takes to settle her to sleep.

Note: At this age, the “Watch and Listen” step can sometimes be a bit frustrating for babies if you’re doing it in the room — they can see you, but you’re not actively helping, which can feel confusing or upsetting for them.

One option is to try doing this step just outside the room while watching her on the monitor. If she calls out but there are pauses in between, give her a few minutes — it can take up to 20 minutes for babies to fall asleep. But if she’s calling out continuously with no pauses, that’s her way of saying she needs your help. In that case, go in and move up or down the settling pyramid as needed, staying in the room to support her until she falls asleep.

Does this sound okay?
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Didier and Elisa,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful update — it’s wonderful to hear that she’s taking longer naps again! That’s a big win and definitely a step in the right direction.

How have the last few mornings gone with the early wake-ups? Have they continued, or have you noticed any changes?

I also wanted to check — is she still room-sharing with you? If so, is anyone in the room getting up or moving around between 4:30 and 5:30 AM (e.g., going to the toilet, checking the phone, etc.)? Sometimes even subtle noises or light changes can cause little ones to stir, and if they’re nearing the end of a sleep cycle, it can be just enough to wake them fully.

If that’s not the case — and no external noise or disruption is waking her — then it’s worth considering that her early wake-ups may be linked to her overall sleep needs. Typically, if a baby is still tired at 4:30 or 5:00 AM, a feed or some contact will help them settle back to sleep. But since she isn’t responding to either, and you’ve already experimented with adjusting both bedtime and nap quality, it’s possible that her first nap is reinforcing the early start to the day.

That said, based on what you’ve described, it really sounds like she’s genuinely well-rested and waking for the day. The fact that she wakes up alert, vocal, happy, and ready to play — and doesn’t settle back down even with a feed or contact — suggests that she may simply be approaching her total sleep need over a 24-hour period, especially since she already has the ability to fall asleep independently.

Would you be open to gently capping her daytime naps for the next week to see if it helps her sleep later in the morning? You could aim for a total of around 3.5 to 4 hours of daytime sleep, which is still very appropriate for her age but slightly less than she’s currently getting. A sample structure might look like this:

• Nap 1 – 1.5 hours max
• Nap 2 – 1.5 hours max
• Nap 3 (catnap) – 30 minutes max

While doing this, it can also help to gradually shift her overall wake-up time and nap timings to gently reset her circadian rhythm. Since you mentioned she becomes distressed if left for too long in the crib in the morning (which is totally understandable), here’s a very gentle approach you could try over the next few days:

When she wakes early (e.g., at 5:00 AM), keep the room dark and try to soothe her quietly in your arms if she’s upset. If she’s just vocalizing and happy, you can leave her in the crib for a few minutes. Wait 10 minutes before turning on the lights and starting the day — including feeding. This delayed start will help shift her internal clock gradually.

For example:

• Day 1–3: If she wakes at 5:00 AM, soothe or wait quietly in the dark until 5:10 AM, then turn on the lights, begin the day, and offer her first feed.
• Day 4–6: Stretch that delay to 5:20 AM, and so on — moving in 10-minute increments every 3 days.
• For all naps, try to shift their start times slightly later too — for instance, if the first nap was at 7:00 AM, aim for 7:10 AM on day one, then 7:20 AM by day four, etc.
• The key is to keep bedtime consistent — ideally around 7:30 – 8:00 PM — regardless of what time she woke that morning.

And one more note — if she naturally wakes later (closer to 6:00 AM or beyond), that’s great! You wouldn’t need to wake her at 5:10 just to stick to the plan. Let her sleep, and just continue with the day as usual while keeping the bedtime the same.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Ekaterina,

Tummy time typically doesn’t cause neck pain, but there are a few things to look out for that might be worth discussing with your little one’s doctor.

For example, if she consistently fusses when feeding on one side but not the other — say, she’s uncomfortable when you hold her in your right arm for bottle feeding, but perfectly fine in your left — this could be a sign of some tightness or discomfort. Similarly, if her head always tilts to one side, or you’re unable to gently turn her head in the opposite direction, that’s also something worth mentioning to her doctor.

And of course, if you have any general concerns that she may be in pain, it’s always best to check in with your healthcare provider, who can assess her in person.

At 19 days old, your little one is also right at the start of what’s known as the Period of PURPLE Crying. If her fussiness tends to peak in the afternoon or evening, but she’s generally calm during the rest of the day, this could be the reason. It’s a completely normal developmental phase — though understandably tiring — and it does pass with time.

There’s actually a dedicated lesson on this topic in the course, which you might find helpful if you haven’t already had a chance to watch it. It includes practical strategies to use during this fussy period to make things a little easier for both you and your baby.

As for settling her to sleep: if she’s not enjoying contact naps right now, you could try swaddling her and laying her down in the crib instead. To make the transition smoother, you can settle her to sleep in your arms first (in the position she currently prefers), and then gently transfer her to the crib. In the course, I go through what to look for in a swaddle if you are interested and haven’t had a chance to watch it yet.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

That’s wonderful that Maxi is happily napping in the co‑sleeper!

Please let me know how the strict two‑hour wake window before bedtime goes—and whether it leads to a longer first sleep stretch.

You mentioned you’re using the settling pyramid after his 30–45 minute “bedtime nap” and then holding him chest‑to‑chest to walk, shush, and rock. That’s completely understandable—after a short sleep, his sleep pressure is lower, so he needs more support to drift back off. So if he prefers to be held against your chest instead of being in the cradle hold that is completely fine – at this point do what works to get him back to sleep.

Ultimately, though, the goal is for him to learn to fall asleep in the co‑sleeper at the start of the night. Just to confirm: at the start of your bedtime routine, are you laying him down awake in the co‑sleeper and then using the settling pyramid?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kate,

I’m so glad to hear she’s healthy, growing well, and sleeping solidly through the night—those are all wonderful signs that she’s thriving, even if a little muscle tightness makes being held uncomfortable sometimes.

You’re spot on that when she’s alert after a feed, offering her some free floor time is a great idea. Placing her under a play gym gives her the room to stretch, kick, reach, and wiggle—all of which supports muscle development and helps release any stiffness. Her fussiness in your arms may simply be her way of asking for more space to move and explore.

Regarding the muscle tension your midwife noticed, someone you might consider taking your little one to is a paediatric physiotherapist (AKA paediatric physical therapist). They are the ideal specialist to assess and treat any tightness. They can show you gentle stretches and activities tailored to your baby’s needs.

Hopefully, your baby gets some relief soon.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Giedre,

Thanks so much for all the extra detail—this really helps me understand where you’re at!

It’s great that you’ve been able to continue with the settling pyramid and that she responds well to the shushing in view. From what you recorded, it seems like she’s falling asleep within 4–10 minutes of being laid in the crib, which is pretty good. Typically, it’s not unusual for babies to take up to 20 minutes to drift off.

I just wanted to check: when she fell asleep in those 4–10‑minute stretches, did she stay asleep for that first stretch, or did she wake 20–40 minutes later and need you to hold her again? If she stayed asleep, it does sound like the up‑and‑down at bedtime has settled a bit – is that right?

You mentioned you’re finding it hard to read her tired cues and feel you might be missing them. At this age, it really can be simpler to follow a clock‑based schedule.

I think tightening up her nap and bedtime windows could make bedtime more predictable and easier for her to settle.

It looks like she tends to have a 2–2½‑hour nap, so I was wondering if you’d be happy to try the following routine for the next week and then let me know how it goes:

• 6:30–7:00 am: Wake
• 11:00 am: Nap
• By 2:00 pm: Wake (if she hasn’t woken on her own)
• 8:00 pm: Start bedtime routine
• 8:30 pm: Lay her down in the crib

If she seems sleepy before 8:00 pm, feel free to begin the wind‑down at 7:30 pm and aim to have her in the crib by 8:00 pm instead.

Also, because it stays light until around 9:00 pm, would you be happy to close the blinds and dim the overhead lights or switch to lamps (and pause any screens) from about 6:30 pm? That darker environment will cue her brain to start releasing melatonin—a natural sleep hormone— and this will make it easier for her to so fall asleep at bedtime. We’ll only use this until we discover her ideal bedtime, then adjust accordingly.

If she settles more quickly and stays asleep with this consistent nap‑and‑bedtime schedule, we can gradually move her bedtime earlier.

Does that sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

It’s definitely possible that the frequent wake-up around 30–45 minutes after bedtime is related to Maxi’s wake window before bed not being quite long enough just yet. Often, that first stretch of nighttime sleep can resemble a daytime nap if there isn’t quite enough sleep pressure built up.

I was wondering if you think Maxi could tolerate a 2-hour wake window before bedtime? It might be worth trying to see if it helps him stay asleep for longer during that first stretch of the night.

And just to clarify — you mentioned earlier that there’s been some progress with his daytime naps (which is fantastic!). Is Maxi now napping in the co-sleeper and settling with the help of the settling pyramid if needed? Or are some (or all) of his naps still happening on your chest?

And finally, have you been able to get any success settling him in the crib at bedtime using the pyramid method?

Looking forward to hearing more!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

That’s wonderful to hear that she dropped the pacifier so easily — that’s a big step!

To answer your question: the key to improving both her overnight sleep and daytime naps is helping her learn how to fall asleep independently in the crib. Once she has this skill, she’ll be much more likely to resettle herself when she briefly wakes between sleep cycles — especially overnight, if she isn’t hungry.

Right now, she still relies on movement to fall asleep, which is why she wakes fully when that movement stops.

The fastest way for her to build this skill is simply through regular practice. If you’re able to give her the chance to fall asleep in the crib for both naps and bedtime, that means she gets around five opportunities each day to practice — compared to just one if you’re only focusing on bedtime.

You also mentioned that reducing the movement in the pram has led to shorter naps. That makes complete sense — she’s still in the process of learning how to settle and stay asleep without movement. So when the pram stops and she wakes after one sleep cycle, she likely doesn’t have the tools just yet to link those cycles.

If you’re okay with her having shorter naps for now, I’d recommend leaning into it — get her up when she wakes and simply start the next wake window. You may find she takes more frequent, shorter naps (maybe up to five) until she learns to fall asleep and stay asleep on her own.

But if you’d prefer to maintain two longer naps, one approach is to give her a few minutes when she stirs — just to see if she’ll settle herself — and if not, try using the pram version of the settling pyramid to help her link cycles.

You also mentioned that bedtime has become a bit tricky with the settling pyramid. We might need to look at the timing of her last nap to ensure she’s building up enough sleep pressure to fall asleep more easily. If she’s not tired enough at bedtime, even the most consistent routine won’t work.

Let me know the timing of that last nap, and we can tweak from there if needed.

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Holly,

I am sorry it has been difficult for you the past few days. Hopefully, the information below will make life a little bit smoother and easier (and your wrists can get a break!).

First, in terms of the overnight wake-ups — since this isn’t something that’s happening every night, and given how hard it was for her to settle recently, you could absolutely offer her a feed if you’re comfortable with it. A quick feed in that moment might be the easiest way to help her settle back down. At this stage, it’s very unlikely to create a new habit if it’s just used occasionally when she’s really struggling. Sometimes, just giving her what she needs in that moment helps reset the spiral and gives you both some peace.

Now in terms of her getting upset during nap and bedtime — it’s completely understandable that this would feel heartbreaking, especially after all the effort and progress you’ve both made. What you’re seeing is very common at this age. As babies get older, they start to recognize the cues that sleep time is coming, and sometimes that brings resistance. It’s not personal — and it’s not a sign that she’s upset with you specifically — it’s just that she’s learned the pattern and is protesting the transition, not the person.

That said, a small tweak to the routine can often help. One idea is to do the diaper change and put the sleep sack on outside the bedroom, and then spend a few minutes helping her calm down before you walk into the room. For example, you could walk around the living room with her or do some soft bouncing, then transition into the bedroom just for the final part of the routine. This can help reduce the strong association between you walking into the room and it being time for sleep — which might be where the resistance is building.

If you try that for a few days and it doesn’t help, we may want to start tracking her actual wake window — the time from when she truly wakes from a nap to when she actually falls asleep. If her wake windows are lengthening again (which is really common around this stage), she might be protesting because she’s not quite tired enough yet when you’re starting the wind-down.

You’re absolutely not doing anything wrong, and she isn’t rejecting you. This is just a tough developmental moment, and we’ll figure it out together.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Ekaterina,

It’s reassuring to hear that your little one is not favouring one side, can turn her head independently, and is comfortable feeding on either side. Those are all really positive signs and suggest that neck discomfort or stiffness is unlikely to be the issue.

At this age, it can definitely feel challenging to fit in playtime because wake windows are so short — often just enough time for a feed, a quick diaper change, and then it’s time to wind down again. The fact that she enjoys looking at high-contrast cards is fantastic — it’s actually one of the most developmentally beneficial forms of play for this stage.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like she’s been generally unsettled throughout the day, and this has only started quite recently. Would you say she seems uncomfortable most of the time, or does she settle during feeds and when she’s sleeping?

While the Period of PURPLE Crying can be intense, it typically occurs for just a few hours a day (usually in the afternoon or evening), peaking between 6–8 weeks. If she’s unsettled throughout the entire day, or even while asleep, this may point to something more than just the normal crying phase — such as discomfort, or another underlying issue.

It’s also worth checking how things are going with feeding and tracking her weight gain. If feeds are difficult or she isn’t gaining as expected, those could be contributing factors as well.

If she seems unsettled much of the time — even when feeding or sleeping — I’d definitely recommend speaking with your doctor (once they’re back from leave) or your midwife in the meantime. They’ll be able to assess things in more detail and help rule out anything medical.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Wow, Holly — that’s amazing to hear! I hope you’re feeling a little more rested and energised today!

Keep going with the naps — I expect that they will take a bit longer to come together because your little one is learning a completely new way of falling asleep, and during the day, sleep pressure alone is doing all the work. At night, it’s easier for her because both her circadian rhythm and sleep pressure are working together to help her fall — and stay — asleep, even if she briefly wakes.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Holly,

If your little one is waking from a nap and then feeding — but potentially sneaking in another short nap while feeding — that could be throwing off her routine more than it seems. It’s often tricky to spot because babies will continue to suck even if they’re no longer actively swallowing. But if she’s dozing off mid-feed, it may be resetting her true wake window — not from the time she woke up from the nap, but from when she finishes that little post-nap doze.

If you think this might be happening, here’s something to try:

When she wakes from a nap, instead of feeding her right away (especially if she still seems a bit sleepy), get her up and let her play for a few minutes in a bright room. This helps her fully wake up. Then, offer the bottle. If she starts to get drowsy during the feed, or you notice she’s sucking without swallowing, pause for a moment — change her diaper or shift her position to help wake her a bit — and then continue with the feed. This can really help ensure she’s taking a fuller, more alert feed, which in turn supports better sleep and wake rhythms.

If she wakes up clearly hungry and wants to feed straight away, that’s totally fine too. Just try to do the feed in a well-lit room, and keep an eye out for signs of her getting drowsy. And if she is getting drowsy just pause the feed to wake her slightly before continuing the feed.

Does that make sense?

Let me know how the 3–4 AM feed goes — I hope it helps everyone get a little more rest!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Giedre!

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my earlier questions — I really appreciate it.

It’s great to hear that her morning wake-up time has remained consistent and that she continues to sleep well during naps — those are really encouraging signs.

I just have a few more follow-up questions (sorry!) as I’m trying to determine whether the best approach would be to shift her bedtime earlier or to explore a technique called bedtime fading, which can help little ones relearn how to fall asleep more easily at night. When you have time, could you please answer the questions below?

Nap Routine

• You mentioned her nap starts sometime between 11:00 AM and 12:00 PM. Is there a reason for this variation? Would you be able to offer the nap at a consistent time each day, like exactly 11:00 AM, or is the timing dependent on her wake windows?

• Who usually puts her down for naps and bedtime? Is it always you, or do you do naps and someone else handles bedtime?

Bedtime Routine Details

From what you shared, I’m guessing her bedtime routine might look something like this:

• Optional bath

• Diaper change

• Pajamas

• Walk into the bedroom

• Close the curtains

• Turn on lullaby (is this instead of a white noise machine? And do you keep the lullaby on all night?)

• Read a book

• Sing a lullaby while rocking her

• Put her down in the crib

Does that sound right?

Also, do you include a feed before bedtime? If so, where does that feed fit into the routine?

Bedtime Timing & Response

• What time do you start the bedtime routine?

• What time do you typically lay her down in the crib?

When you first place her in the crib:

• What does she do?

• What do you do in response?

For example, do you lay her down, leave the room, and then return if she starts crying, using the settling pyramid until you end up picking her up and rocking her to sleep? Or do you lay her down, she protests, and you then hold, rock, or feed her, repeating this process until she eventually falls asleep around 9:30 PM?

Sleep Associations & Resistance

• You mentioned she sometimes falls asleep on her own with some help. Could you describe what that “help” looks like?

• Is 9:30 PM her consistent fall-asleep time, or does it vary? If it varies are you able to record the time that she wakes up from her nap, as well as, the time she falls asleep and stays asleep for the next 3 – 4 nights to try and identify her natural bedtime and wake window?

• When she resists bedtime, do you feel she’s actually tired but unable to fall asleep, or more wired and not yet ready for sleep? (For example, if you held her immediately after the routine, would she fall asleep quickly — or remain wide-awake?)

1 Nap vs 2 Nap Schedule

• You mentioned she was previously on a 2-nap schedule and that it pushed bedtime to 10 PM or later. Would you say that dropping to one nap has made her generally happier and easier to settle overall, or are things still just as challenging?

Evening Environment & Sleep Space

• In the lead-up to bedtime (e.g. after dinner), is the house environment already winding down — dim lights, quiet play? Or are the lights still bright and maybe a screen or TV on in the background?

• What time does it typically get dark outside?

• Is her crib in your room or in her own room?

• Does she sleep in the same sleep space (same room, same crib) for both naps and bedtime?

Sleep Aids & Earlier Bedtime Attempts

• Just checking — she’s not using a pacifier, right? I remember she didn’t take to one when she was younger, but just wanted to confirm.

• Lastly, you mentioned you tried an earlier bedtime. Could you let me know what time you tried, and what happened when you did?

Thanks again for taking the time to answer these questions— I know it’s a lot, but your answers will really help me suggest the most effective next step for both of you.

Thanks,
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Holly,

Wow — your little one is doing so well with her gross motor development! She’s already on the move, which is impressive. Something you might find interesting is that learning to crawl is one of those developmental milestones that can temporarily disrupt sleep. Now that she’s mastered it, things might begin to settle, but there are definitely still ways we can support both her sleep and yours.

It’s fantastic that she has a consistent wake-up time and you’ve already built strong nap and bedtime routines. And honestly, if she doesn’t like the pacifier — that’s totally fine. If she did, I’d likely be suggesting phasing it out at this age anyway.

Understanding Why Settling Her To Sleep is Challenging

Right now, your little one has learned to fall asleep with movement — specifically by being walked around while held upright against your chest. During daytime naps, the primary driver of sleep is sleep pressure (the natural buildup of tiredness). Once she falls asleep, even if only for a short time, that sleep pressure is reduced. So if she wakes after being transferred to the crib, it’s often much harder for her to fall back to sleep on her own — because some of that sleep pressure has already lifted.

This is also why the settling pyramid isn’t likely to work after she’s already fallen asleep in your arms. Does that make sense?

Because she relies on movement to fall asleep, when she reaches the end of a sleep cycle during naps and finds that she’s no longer being held or rocked, she fully wakes — resulting in short catnaps (typically 30–45 minutes).

Around 5 to 6 months, many babies start to consolidate their naps and sleep for longer stretches — but this typically only happens when they’ve learned to fall asleep independently.

So, to help your little one lengthen her naps and start linking sleep cycles, the next step is supporting her to learn how to fall asleep at the start of the nap in her crib.

Helping Her Learn How To Fall Asleep in the Crib

The quickest way to support your little one in learning how to fall asleep independently is by using the settling pyramid after you’ve completed her usual nap routine. Here’s what that could look like:

• Diaper change (if needed)
• Put her in her sleeping bag
• Turn on the humidifier and white noise
• Close the blackout blinds and dim the lights
• Sing her nap/bedtime song
• Once the song is finished and she’s calm, lay her down in the crib and begin using the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep.

Note: At this age, babies are extremely aware of their surroundings. If you’re standing in the room but not engaging, it can be frustrating for her — she sees you, but doesn’t understand why you’re not helping. If you’re comfortable, you can try doing the “watch and listen” step just outside the room while watching her on the monitor. Then enter and adjust your support (moving up or down the pyramid) as needed.

Also, if it feels like too much to do this for every nap and bedtime, you can start small and use the settling pyramid just at bedtime. This is the easiest sleep period to work with, since circadian rhythm and sleep pressure are both encouraging her to fall asleep. Or you could start with bedtime and the first nap of the day. The first nap is often the most consistent nap, and little ones usually settle more easily at this time — naps tend to get trickier as the day goes on.

If trying the settling pyramid feels like too much right now:

You can take an even more gradual approach, gently working toward helping her fall asleep without movement. After your usual nap routine, try this progression:

1. Walk around the room while patting and shushing

2. Then stop walking, continue patting and shushing

3. Then stop patting, continue just shushing

4. Finally, stop shushing — and let her fall asleep while you are standing still and quiet

This helps her slowly learn to fall asleep without movement, making it easier to transition to crib sleep and the settling pyramid later on.

If you go with this gradual method, it may help to hold her in a horizontal position (rather than upright on your chest) while settling her to sleep. The shift from vertical to horizontal during the crib transfer is a big change and can often cause babies to stir or fully wake.

Also when you lay her down in the crib something that you can try is:

• Gently holding her arms still with one hand and her legs with the other
• Then staying like this for a few moments to help her settle
• Then very slowly remove your hands once she seems calm and relaxed

This extra support during the transfer can make a big difference in helping her stay asleep.

Consider letting her sleep on her tummy:

Many babies actually find it easier to fall asleep on their tummy once they can get into that position on their own — and they often stay asleep longer this way too.

If you’re comfortable with this, you can:

• Lay her down in the crib awake and on her back
• Let her roll onto her tummy naturally
• Then apply the settling pyramid while she’s in that position

As always, make sure her sleep environment is safe, if you plan on letting her sleep on her tummy.

Consistent Bedtime

Having a set wake-up time is a great first step toward establishing a consistent bedtime — and it sounds like you’ve already got that in place, which is fantastic. However, it also sounds like the timing of the final nap is causing bedtime to shift a bit.

To support your little one’s circadian rhythm and help her body naturally produce melatonin (the hormone that makes us feel sleepy) at the same time that sleep pressure builds, it’s important to aim for bedtime to happen within the same 30-minute window each night.

One of the most effective ways to support this is by ensuring that the final nap of the day doesn’t run too close to bedtime.

At 6 months old, we typically want to aim for a wake window of 2 to 2.5 hours before bedtime. So, if you’re aiming for a 7:30 PM bedtime, she should be waking from her final nap no later than 5:00–5:30 PM.

So based on what you’ve shared, her current 4-nap schedule might look something like this:

• 6:30 AM – Wake

• 8:30 AM – Nap 1 (45 mins)

• 9:15 AM – Wake

• 11:15 AM – Nap 2 (45 mins)

• 12:00 PM – Wake

• 2:00 PM – Nap 3 (45 mins)

• 2:45 PM – Wake

• 4:45 PM – Nap 4 (45 mins)

• 5:30 PM – Wake

• 7:30 PM – Bedtime

Note: As she starts learning to fall asleep on her own in the crib, you’ll likely begin to see longer, more consolidated naps, especially during the first and second naps of the day. When this happens she will naturally start to have 3 naps per day instead of 4 (as there simply isn’t the time to fit 4 naps in).

I did note that you said you have been trying a 3 nap schedule with a contact nap for the past 3 days. So if you want to continue with a 3 nap schedule it might look a little like this:

• 6:30 AM – Wake

• 8:30 AM – Nap 1 (45 mins)

• 9:15 AM – Wake

• 11:15 AM – Nap 2 (1.5 hours, contact nap)

• 12:45 PM – Wake

• 2:45 PM – Nap 3 (45 mins)

• 3:30 PM – Wake

• 6:00 PM – Bedtime

If you’d prefer a slightly later bedtime, you can push the first nap later to give the rest of the day more room to shift. For example, starting Nap 1 at 9:00 AM instead of 8:30 AM might allow for a 6:30 PM bedtime instead of 6:00 PM.

That would look like this:

• 6:30 AM – Wake

• 9:00 AM – Nap 1 (45 mins)

• 9:45 AM – Wake

• 11:45 AM – Nap 2 (1.5 hours, contact nap)

• 1:15 PM – Wake

• 3:15 PM – Nap 3 (45 mins)

• 4:00 PM – Wake

• 6:30 PM – Bedtime

Overnight Wake

It’s great to hear that your little one is generally sleeping from 8:00 PM until around 3:00–4:00 AM — that’s a solid first stretch, and a really positive sign. That said, I completely understand how exhausting it must be to hold her for the rest of the night until her wake-up time at 6:30 AM.

Hopefully, that “fluke” night when she went back to sleep after her 3:30 AM wake is becoming more consistent.

If it hasn’t though and if she’s breastfed, would you consider offering a feed during that early morning wake, following the wake–feed–sleep routine?

The reason I suggest this is because it’s very common for breastfed babies at this age (6 months) to continue waking once overnight for a feed — often up until 9–10 months. I completely understand if it’s not your first choice, but if these early morning wakes keep happening and she won’t let you put her down, it could be that she’s genuinely hungry. In that case, offering a feed might help her settle back into the crib and sleep through until morning, rather than needing to be held for the remainder of the night.

If she’s formula-fed, it’s true that some babies are able to sleep through the night from around 6 months — but this really varies, as every baby is different. So, if she continues to wake around 3:00–4:00 AM and won’t go back to sleep unless you’re holding her, and you feel comfortable with it, you could try offering a bottle at that early morning wake. Then, see if she settles more easily in the crib afterward and sleeps until her usual wake-up time. If she does — that’s fantastic. If not, you can ago back to settling her without a feed.

Please let me know if this makes sense and seems doable.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

Thank you so much for your message — I can hear just how much you’re juggling right now, and I just want to say: you are doing such a fantastic job under really challenging circumstances. I can only imagine how exhausting this stretch has been, especially with your knees giving you trouble and the lack of sleep.

Based on what you’ve described, I think the recent changes in your little one’s sleep could be due to a few different things:

1. Starting solids – It’s not uncommon for babies to get a bit constipated when first starting solids. If she’s uncomfortable, this can absolutely impact sleep — especially when the wake-ups are irregular and settling is difficult, which matches what you’re seeing. It might be worth noting if the night after her bowel movements (especially after a laxative) is a little less disrupted.
2. Developmental leaps – You also mentioned she’s made a lot of developmental gains recently, which often affects sleep. These phases usually last 1–2 weeks, but since your challenges have continued beyond that, it might be more than just a leap.
3. Sleep associations and the need for movement – Over the past month, she’s come to rely on movement — whether that’s the pram or being held and bounced — to fall and stay asleep. Around 3–5 months, sleep cycles mature. Rather than drifting between cycles, babies start to wake briefly — and if the conditions they fell asleep in aren’t the same (like the pram stopping or arms no longer rocking), they fully wake and need those conditions recreated to fall back asleep.

So, what likely started as a helpful response to a tough patch has now become a habit she relies on. The good news is: you can gently shift this.

Daytime naps – easing into crib sleep without overwhelming her:

I completely understand that going straight to crib naps right now would likely be too challenging, so we can definitely take a more gradual and gentle approach.

Option 1 – Transitioning Nap Sleep Indoors Using the Pram:

One option is to continue using the pram for now, but start doing the first nap or the first two naps of the day indoors — specifically, in her bedroom.

The reason this helps is because it gently introduces her to the idea that the bedroom is a sleep space. Over time, this space becomes a familiar sleep cue, making it easier for her to settle there at bedtime and, eventually, for naps in the crib. If this feels manageable, here’s how it could look:

1. Nap routine: Instead of heading outside, bring her into the bedroom for her nap.

2. Begin with a shortened version of your bedtime routine. For example:

   • Do some dancing in the living room.

   • Head into her bedroom and turn off the lights.

   • Put on her sleeping bag (if she uses one).

   • Hold her and sing the same lullaby you use at bedtime.

3. When the lullaby finishes and she’s calm, lay her down in the pram in the bedroom.

Then, apply the settling pyramid — but with a pram twist:

• Instead of picking her up (which is the top of the pyramid), start by gently pushing the pram to settle her.

• Once she seems calm, gradually slow the movement.

• Then begin working your way back down the pyramid:

  • Stop pushing, and switch to patting and shushing.

  • Then just shushing.

  • Finally, stop shushing and quietly step out of her line of sight, allowing her to fall asleep on her own.

If she becomes unsettled when you lay her in the pram in a dark room, consider leaving the door slightly open or using a dim light — this mimics the brightness she’s used to from outdoor naps and may help her feel more at ease indoors.

By using the settling pyramid in the pram, you’re helping her practice falling asleep without constant movement, while still in a familiar sleeping space. This will make the eventual transition to the crib much easier for her — and gentler for you.

Option 2 – Gradual Outdoor Transition with Less Movement:

If Option 1 feels like too big of a leap right now, that’s absolutely okay. You can continue letting her fall asleep in the pram outdoors, but begin gently introducing a few changes to lay the foundation for independent sleep.

Start by incorporating a simple nap routine before laying her down in the pram. This could be something like:

• Do some dancing in the living room.

• Walk outside to the pram.

• Put on her sleeping bag (if she uses one).

• Hold her and sing the same lullaby you use at bedtime

• Lay her down in the pram

Next, begin to gradually reduce the amount of movement used to help her fall asleep:

• Instead of continuous walking or pushing, try slowing your pace or pushing over time.

• Eventually work toward her falling asleep in a stationary pram — this is the key goal before moving her to crib naps.

Once she’s able to fall asleep in the pram without needing constant movement, you can tweak her nap routine again slightly:

• After singing her lullaby and placing her in the pram, apply the settling pyramid while she remains in the pram.

• Rather than picking her up (which is the top step of the pyramid), start with gentle pushing to help settle her.

• Once she’s calm, gradually slow the pushing, and then begin climbing back down the pyramid:

  • Move from pushing to patting and shushing,

  • Then just shushing,

  • And finally, step away or out of sight, allowing her to fall asleep independently in the pram.

This slow, step-by-step method helps her become more comfortable with falling asleep without movement, while still using the pram as a familiar and comforting space.

To help encourage longer stretches of sleep overnight, here are a few key things that may help:

• Keep a consistent wake-up time — ideally within the same 30-minute window each day. Since her usual wake-up time is 6:30 AM, the latest you’d let her sleep in would be 7:00 AM. (Though it sounds like she’s fairly consistent with waking early already.)

• Continue using the modified version of the settling pyramid and if you need to hold her in your arms to help her fall asleep, try to gradually reduce the movement before she falls asleep so she’s drifting off while you are still. Also, it can help to pay attention to how you’re holding her — if she’s upright on your chest, consider repositioning her so she’s lying horizontally in your arms. This can make it easier to transfer her to the crib without waking her.

• When she wakes overnight, if it’s not feeding time, try settling her back to sleep in your arms with minimal movement. But if it is feeding time, go ahead and feed her. Focus most on doing this in the first half of the night, when sleep is deeper and it’s easier to resettle. In the second half of the night, it’s often harder to settle — so at that point, do whatever you need to (while keeping it safe) to get her back to sleep. If that means using the pacifier, that’s perfectly okay.

Over time, as she learns to fall asleep without movement and eventually settle independently in the crib, those night wakes should begin to reduce — especially during the first part of the night, and then gradually in the early morning hours too.

• Nap Routine Adjustment – From what you’ve shared, her current nap schedule looks something like this:

  • 6:30 AM – Wake

  • 8:20 AM – Nap 1 (1–1.5 hours)

  • 9:30/10:00 AM – Wake

  • 12:00 PM – Nap 2 (1–1.5 hours)

  • 1:00/1:30 PM – Wake

  • 3:30 PM – Nap 3 (30 mins)

  • 4:00 PM – Wake

  • 5:45 PM – Nap 4 (45 mins)

  • 6:30 PM – Wake

  • 8:30 PM – Bedtime

  Would you be open to gradually shifting her first nap later? So that it happens at 9am. If she can manage that, it opens the door to dropping down to a 3-nap routine, which is typical around 5 months when babies are having two longer naps.

  This would also allow you to shift bedtime earlier, which might help her fall asleep more easily and stay asleep longer. So her new routine might look like this:

  • 6:30 AM – Wake

  • 9:00 AM – Nap 1 (1–1.5 hours)

  • 10:30 AM – Wake

  • 12:30 PM – Nap 2 (1–1.5 hours)

  • 2:00 PM – Wake

  • 4:00 PM – Nap 3 (30 mins to 1 hour)

  • 4:30/5:00 PM – Wake

  • 7:00 PM – Bedtime

If you are happy to try this I recommend you adjust that nap time slowly so you could:

• Start by pushing Nap 1 to 8:30 AM for 3 days,
• Then shift it to 8:45 AM for the next 3 days,

• And finally to 9:00 AM.

Pacifier

Another thing I wanted to mention is the use of the pacifier. You shared that you introduced it to help her link sleep cycles — which makes perfect sense, as sucking is naturally soothing and often helps babies fall asleep more easily.

However, something that often happens at this age is that the pacifier falls out or shifts slightly while they’re asleep. Then, when they briefly wake between sleep cycles and it’s not there (or not exactly where it was when they fell asleep), they fully wake up, because that’s what they’ve learned to rely on to fall asleep in the first place.

Unfortunately, babies don’t typically develop the fine motor skills to replace or reposition the pacifier on their own until around 7 months, so this pattern is likely to continue until then.

Given that she’s waking frequently, it seems the pacifier may not be helping her link sleep cycles — and from what I remember, she was starting to suck her fingers, which could eventually become a more sustainable self-soothing tool.

Would you be open to gently fading out the pacifier? If so, here are two approaches you can try:

Option 1: Use the pacifier as part of the routine, but remove it just before she falls asleep.

Here’s how that might look at bedtime:

1. Start with her evening routine — for example:
   a quick shower, dancing/play in the living room, and a feed in the bedroom.

2. Pop the pacifier in after the feed.

3. With lights off, sing her bedtime lullaby while holding her.

4. When the lullaby ends and she’s calm, stop walking and begin patting and shushing.

5. Then stop patting and continue just shushing.

6. Once she’s calm and relaxed, lay her in the crib, continuing to shush.

7. While she’s still calm, gently slide your little finger between the pacifier and the corner of her mouth to remove it.

8. Then continue with the pyramid:
   stop shushing, and finish with just watching and listening.

Note: For some babies, removing the pacifier right before sleep works really well. For others, it causes them to fully wake or become unsettled.

Option 2: Remove the pacifier altogether.

If you try Option 1 and find that removing the pacifier consistently wakes her, it may be best to stop using it altogether. This avoids building a strong sleep association that will be difficult to maintain — especially during frequent night wakings.

I know this is a lot so please let me know what feels most manageable for you at this point in time.

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.