[Emma H]

Hi Holly,

It’s great that tweaking the nap and bedtime routine has resulted in less resistance at sleep time.

But it’s not so great that her sleep overnight has become more challenging.

Based on what you’ve described, there are several possible reasons for this change in your little one’s sleep.

It might be teething: Those smooth bumps you’re feeling on her bottom gums could be her molars getting ready to come through. But here’s what to look for if it’s truly teething pain:

• She’d be fussy and cranky during the day too (not just at night)
• Her wake-ups would be random and unpredictable throughout the night

She might need help linking her sleep cycles: When babies wake every 1-2 hours consistently, especially later in the night, it’s often because they’re struggling to connect one sleep cycle to the next.

She might need more awake time during the day: Since waking every hour at bedtime is relatively new, her sleep needs may have changed. She might need to stay awake longer during the day (especially before bedtime) to build up enough “sleepiness” to fall asleep easily and stay asleep longer.

To help me determine the cause I just have a few questions:

1. What’s her current nap schedule? (How many naps and how long?)
2. Is her wake-up time still consistent? What time?
3. What time is her usual bedtime?
4. How are you settling her for naps and bedtime now?
5. Has anything else changed recently? (foods, daycare, new skills like crawling/standing?)

Just to clarify what’s happening overnight: From what you’ve described, it sounds like: she falls asleep at bedtime → wakes every hour for a few hours → possibly sleeps for a stretch → wakes at 2-3am and either stays awake or goes back down for 2 hours → wakes at 4-5am and needs to be held until morning. Is that right?

What you can try tonight: Go ahead and offer that bottle at the 2-3am wake-up – there’s absolutely no harm in trying! See if she settles back down in her crib afterwards. If she wakes again around 4-5am, another bottle is perfectly fine too.

And please don’t worry that you’ll be creating bad habits. If her wake-ups are really about struggling to link sleep cycles (rather than true hunger), these extra feeds will naturally stop once she learns to fall asleep independently in her crib.

Right now, your goal is simply getting everyone more sleep while she develops this important skill. So if offering bottles at 2-3am and 4-5am helps everyone rest better, it’s absolutely okay to do that.

Sorry for asking more questions!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Leonor,

Thank you for sharing all those details – it’s never too much information! Honestly, the more context I have, the better I can help you.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like your little one’s sleep has matured and she’s now experiencing what we call the 4-month sleep regression. This isn’t really a regression though – it’s actually a progression in her sleep development. Instead of cycling between just 2 sleep stages (like when she was a newborn) and staying asleep until she was hungry, uncomfortable, or no longer tired, she’s now cycling through 4 distinct stages of sleep and waking briefly between each cycle.

The telltale sign that this is what’s happening is that her overnight wakes occur like clockwork – every 1-2 hours, which matches the length of a sleep cycle at night.

The good news is that the key to lengthening her sleep stretches (both overnight and for naps) is helping her learn to fall asleep independently in her crib.

Based on what you’ve shared, I think a gradual approach using the settling pyramid method at bedtime and for her first nap of the day would work well for you both. We’ll also want to make some adjustments to the timing and length of her naps in the wrap.

To make sure we set you up for success and that this approach isn’t overwhelming for your little one, I’d love to understand a bit more about her current routine. When you have a moment, could you help me with these questions?

1. Does she have a consistent wake-up time? If so, what time and is it fairly regular?
2. Are you able to follow a wake-feed-play-sleep pattern during the day?
3. What time is bedtime, and is it consistent (within about 30 minutes each night)?
4. Does she use a pacifier?
5. Do you have a pre-nap routine when she sleeps in the wrap? If so, what does it look like?
6. When you go for walks during nap time, is this every nap? I’m trying to understand if she currently needs movement (walking, bouncing) to fall asleep.
7. What’s your bedtime routine like? Could you walk me through it?
8. When she naps in the crib, does she wear a swaddle or sleeping bag? (I’m assuming she’s not swaddled during co-sleeping?)
9. Can you describe her sleep environment? Is the crib in a room that’s dark, cool, and free from sudden loud noises?
10. You mentioned 3-4 naps daily, with one lasting 2-4 hours. Could you give me the typical timing and duration of each nap?

I am sorry for all the questions – it will just help me really understand what is happening and then what we can do to get everyone more sleep.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Catherin,

Please don’t apologize at all! Sleep deprivation is absolutely exhausting.Taking those naps whenever you can is exactly what you should be doing to take care of yourself.

I’m so glad you’re willing to try the new approach, even though I completely understand how heartbreaking it can be to see your little one cry when you put her in the crib. Something that might make you feel more at ease with this approach is knowing that when you shift the feed to the start of the bedtime routine, she won’t fall asleep while feeding. This means that when you place her in the crib, her sleep pressure will be high and her circadian rhythm will be encouraging her to fall asleep. So I actually don’t expect that she will protest very much at bedtime.

Tracking her sleep and naps is also a great idea! If you’d like, you can share this data with me and we can work out together whether we need to tweak her sleep schedule. It’s possible that her wake windows have increased and things need to be adjusted.

I also want to explain why you might be seeing those short catnaps. Catnapping is very normal at this age, especially when babies need help to fall asleep. Here’s what happens: when your little one wakes up after one sleep cycle (about 30-45 minutes), if she originally fell asleep in your arms while feeding or being rocked, she’ll notice she’s now in a different location. She’ll call out to you to recreate what she needs to fall back to sleep. However, since she’s had that short nap, some of her sleep pressure has been released. This means she’s no longer tired enough to fall back asleep easily.

The key to longer naps is helping her learn to fall asleep on her own in the crib, using the settling pyramid when needed.

Since both sleep pressure and her circadian rhythm work together to encourage sleep at bedtime, it’s usually easier to start teaching this skill at bedtime first. That’s why I suggested moving the bedtime feed to the start of the routine – to give her the chance to practice this new skill. Once you’re feeling comfortable with this approach, you can then start using the settling pyramid for naps too.

Just let me know how you go and when you feel ready to work on the next step.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Catherine,

Welcome to the community!

It’s so lovely to meet you and hear about your two little ones. I’m sure Gwenna and Damian are keeping you very busy – especially Damian being 19 months and I’m assuming on the move and exploring lots!

I love that you’re thinking ahead with Gwenna’s sleep and wanting to set up healthy foundations early.

Looking forward to hearing more about what you’re experiencing and helping you create better sleep for everyone in your household!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Livia,

😂I completely understand the forum confusion – technology keeps evolving faster than we can keep up sometimes! Being a millennial navigating forums on phones really is its own special challenge. You’re definitely not alone in finding it a bit tricky at first.

I’m sorry to hear that Emilia has reflux and it’s making sleep challenging for both of you. Reflux can absolutely be tough when it comes to getting good rest, but there are definitely strategies that can help.

To get specific advice on how to improve Emilia’s sleep, the best place to share any challenges you’re facing is to post a thread in the “Baby Sleep Help” forum. To access this on your phone, once you have logged in you will see a menu bar in the top left-hand corner, click on that and then click on forums. Once you’re in the forum, click on “Baby Sleep Help” and then post a new thread.

Before posting your question though, I’d suggest having a quick browse to see if another parent has already had similar concerns that I’ve provided advice on. If there is – great! You’ll have something you can try straight away. If not, then start a new thread outlining your concerns and I’ll provide tailored advice specifically for Emilia’s situation.

Looking forward to hearing more about what you’re experiencing and helping you and Emilia get better sleep!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

It’s great to hear that Rohan is continuing to fall asleep quickly and sleeping well overnight.

From what you’ve described, it’s very likely that his natural pattern is that he tends to sleep longer for the first nap and have a shorter second nap – this really seems to be his pattern since he was little.

However, it could also be because he is staying awake too long before the naps. Or it could be because he doesn’t need a lot of daytime sleep and he is getting most of that daytime sleep in the first nap of the day.

I was wondering if you would be willing to try a more time-based nap schedule and see if this leads to him having a longer second nap? This will help us test which theory is correct.

Proposed Schedule (for 7 days):

Based on 6:30/7am wake up and 7pm bedtime – let me know if these aren’t his current times

• 6:30/7 AM – Wake-up
• 9:00 AM – First nap
• 10:30 AM – Wake (if still sleeping)
• 1:00/1:30 PM – Second nap (1:30 max nap length)
• 2:30/3:00 PM – Wake
• 7:00 PM – Bedtime

I know Rohan tends to have a longer wake window before that first nap of the day but usually on a two-nap schedule, wake windows typically lengthen throughout the day, often following a 2-3-4 pattern—a 2-hour wake window before the first nap, 3 hours before the second nap, and 4 hours before bedtime.

What to track:

• How long it takes him to fall asleep
• Length of each nap

If needed after 4 days: If the second nap continues to be short despite a long first nap, cap the first nap at 45 minutes. This would move the second nap to around 1pm.

Does this sound okay to try?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Livia,

Welcome! It’s so lovely to have you here — and a big warm hello to baby Emilia too! 😊

You’re definitely not alone in wanting to improve sleep at this age, and it’s wonderful that you’re reaching out to connect with other parents as well.

Feel free to share what Emilia’s sleep looks like at the moment or any challenges you’re facing — I’d love to support you with some ideas to make things a bit easier.

Looking forward to chatting more with you!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin!

I hope you had a lovely weekend! 😊

It would be great if you do let me know how you go with keeping that strict 2-hour wake window before bed and whether that helped make things a little easier in the evening.

Remember, Maxi needs time to adjust and learn so if you can I recommend you give this a go for a week and then let me know how he goes.

Looking forward to hearing how you’re getting on!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Luise,

How have the last few days gone for you and your little one?

Has her sleep started to settle a little, or are things still feeling just as tough?

From what you described, it sounds like it’s been a really challenging few days — and understandably so. Changes in sleep, feeding, and wake windows can feel overwhelming, especially when everything was going quite smoothly before.

If her sleep hasn’t improved, there are a couple of common reasons this might be happening. Let’s go through them one by one so we can start narrowing down what might be going on.

1. Could it be the early 4-Month Sleep Regression?

Even though it’s called the “4-month” regression, it can actually start as early as 10 to 12 weeks. What’s happening is that your baby’s sleep is maturing — she’s moving from newborn-style sleep (where there are just two basic stages) into more adult-like sleep cycles with lighter and deeper phases.

This shift can look like:

• Short naps (only 30–50 minutes) because that’s one full sleep cycle

• Night wakes every 1.5 to 2 hours, often like clockwork, at the end of each cycle

• Struggling to go back to sleep, even with your help like patting or feeding

If this sounds like your little one — and her night wakes are happening at a regular time, like every 90 minutes or so — almost like clockwork – then it’s likely the 4 month sleep regression. And the way to get her back to having longer stretches of overnight sleep is by helping her learn how to fall asleep in the SNOO or crib.

2. Or Could It Be Discomfort/Illness?

There were a few things in your message that made me wonder if something else might also be going on:

• She’s falling asleep very quickly while feeding

• Her wake windows are very short — sometimes just 10 or 20 minutes before she’s showing tired signs again

• You’ve noticed more liquid stools (alright you are right this could also be due to the fact that she is feeding more regularly)

These signs can sometimes point to temporary discomfort like a mild virus, tummy upset, or something else. If discomfort is the cause, you’d usually see:

• Wakes that aren’t regular — not every 90 minutes, but more random or unpredictable

• Crying that seems more intense or distressed

• A baby who’s more unsettled or fussy overall — not just during sleep, but also when awake

So if her wake windows are unpredictable – especially overnight – then the change in sleep patterns might be due to discomfort or illness. And her sleep should return to normal once she is well again.

Emma

[Emma H]

HI Giedre,

That’s wonderful—even a few nights of her staying asleep at bedtime is real progress! 🎉

It will be interesting to see whether tightening her wake‑up, nap, and bedtime windows helps her string those good nights together more consistently.

About her waking an hour in: you’re right that many babies stir at the end of their first sleep cycle because they haven’t yet learned to link cycles on their own—especially if at bedtime they have fallen asleep somewhere other than the crib (eg. in your arms or while feeding).

Another culprit can be the timing of when you enter the room. If you go in while she’s in a light‑sleep phase or transitioning between cycles, you may unintentionally rouse her.

If you suspect this is happening, check the baby monitor before you enter:

– Still and quiet: She’s in deep sleep—safe to go in.

– Moving or murmuring: She’s in light sleep—wait a few minutes for her to return to deep sleep before entering.

Another possibility is that her actual bedtime isn’t quite aligned with her sleep needs yet.

Once you’ve tried the tighter wake‑up, nap, and bedtime windows, let’s see whether her evenings smooth out and that one‑hour wake‑up fades away.

Let me know how it goes!

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

That’s wonderful that Maxi is happily napping in the co‑sleeper!

Please let me know how the strict two‑hour wake window before bedtime goes—and whether it leads to a longer first sleep stretch.

You mentioned you’re using the settling pyramid after his 30–45 minute “bedtime nap” and then holding him chest‑to‑chest to walk, shush, and rock. That’s completely understandable—after a short sleep, his sleep pressure is lower, so he needs more support to drift back off. So if he prefers to be held against your chest instead of being in the cradle hold that is completely fine – at this point do what works to get him back to sleep.

Ultimately, though, the goal is for him to learn to fall asleep in the co‑sleeper at the start of the night. Just to confirm: at the start of your bedtime routine, are you laying him down awake in the co‑sleeper and then using the settling pyramid?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kate,

I’m so glad to hear she’s healthy, growing well, and sleeping solidly through the night—those are all wonderful signs that she’s thriving, even if a little muscle tightness makes being held uncomfortable sometimes.

You’re spot on that when she’s alert after a feed, offering her some free floor time is a great idea. Placing her under a play gym gives her the room to stretch, kick, reach, and wiggle—all of which supports muscle development and helps release any stiffness. Her fussiness in your arms may simply be her way of asking for more space to move and explore.

Regarding the muscle tension your midwife noticed, someone you might consider taking your little one to is a paediatric physiotherapist (AKA paediatric physical therapist). They are the ideal specialist to assess and treat any tightness. They can show you gentle stretches and activities tailored to your baby’s needs.

Hopefully, your baby gets some relief soon.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Giedre,

Thanks so much for all the extra detail—this really helps me understand where you’re at!

It’s great that you’ve been able to continue with the settling pyramid and that she responds well to the shushing in view. From what you recorded, it seems like she’s falling asleep within 4–10 minutes of being laid in the crib, which is pretty good. Typically, it’s not unusual for babies to take up to 20 minutes to drift off.

I just wanted to check: when she fell asleep in those 4–10‑minute stretches, did she stay asleep for that first stretch, or did she wake 20–40 minutes later and need you to hold her again? If she stayed asleep, it does sound like the up‑and‑down at bedtime has settled a bit – is that right?

You mentioned you’re finding it hard to read her tired cues and feel you might be missing them. At this age, it really can be simpler to follow a clock‑based schedule.

I think tightening up her nap and bedtime windows could make bedtime more predictable and easier for her to settle.

It looks like she tends to have a 2–2½‑hour nap, so I was wondering if you’d be happy to try the following routine for the next week and then let me know how it goes:

• 6:30–7:00 am: Wake
• 11:00 am: Nap
• By 2:00 pm: Wake (if she hasn’t woken on her own)
• 8:00 pm: Start bedtime routine
• 8:30 pm: Lay her down in the crib

If she seems sleepy before 8:00 pm, feel free to begin the wind‑down at 7:30 pm and aim to have her in the crib by 8:00 pm instead.

Also, because it stays light until around 9:00 pm, would you be happy to close the blinds and dim the overhead lights or switch to lamps (and pause any screens) from about 6:30 pm? That darker environment will cue her brain to start releasing melatonin—a natural sleep hormone— and this will make it easier for her to so fall asleep at bedtime. We’ll only use this until we discover her ideal bedtime, then adjust accordingly.

If she settles more quickly and stays asleep with this consistent nap‑and‑bedtime schedule, we can gradually move her bedtime earlier.

Does that sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

It’s definitely possible that the frequent wake-up around 30–45 minutes after bedtime is related to Maxi’s wake window before bed not being quite long enough just yet. Often, that first stretch of nighttime sleep can resemble a daytime nap if there isn’t quite enough sleep pressure built up.

I was wondering if you think Maxi could tolerate a 2-hour wake window before bedtime? It might be worth trying to see if it helps him stay asleep for longer during that first stretch of the night.

And just to clarify — you mentioned earlier that there’s been some progress with his daytime naps (which is fantastic!). Is Maxi now napping in the co-sleeper and settling with the help of the settling pyramid if needed? Or are some (or all) of his naps still happening on your chest?

And finally, have you been able to get any success settling him in the crib at bedtime using the pyramid method?

Looking forward to hearing more!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

That’s wonderful to hear that she dropped the pacifier so easily — that’s a big step!

To answer your question: the key to improving both her overnight sleep and daytime naps is helping her learn how to fall asleep independently in the crib. Once she has this skill, she’ll be much more likely to resettle herself when she briefly wakes between sleep cycles — especially overnight, if she isn’t hungry.

Right now, she still relies on movement to fall asleep, which is why she wakes fully when that movement stops.

The fastest way for her to build this skill is simply through regular practice. If you’re able to give her the chance to fall asleep in the crib for both naps and bedtime, that means she gets around five opportunities each day to practice — compared to just one if you’re only focusing on bedtime.

You also mentioned that reducing the movement in the pram has led to shorter naps. That makes complete sense — she’s still in the process of learning how to settle and stay asleep without movement. So when the pram stops and she wakes after one sleep cycle, she likely doesn’t have the tools just yet to link those cycles.

If you’re okay with her having shorter naps for now, I’d recommend leaning into it — get her up when she wakes and simply start the next wake window. You may find she takes more frequent, shorter naps (maybe up to five) until she learns to fall asleep and stay asleep on her own.

But if you’d prefer to maintain two longer naps, one approach is to give her a few minutes when she stirs — just to see if she’ll settle herself — and if not, try using the pram version of the settling pyramid to help her link cycles.

You also mentioned that bedtime has become a bit tricky with the settling pyramid. We might need to look at the timing of her last nap to ensure she’s building up enough sleep pressure to fall asleep more easily. If she’s not tired enough at bedtime, even the most consistent routine won’t work.

Let me know the timing of that last nap, and we can tweak from there if needed.

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Emma H.