[Emma H]

Hi Livia,

Thank you for sharing how things are going with Emilia – it’s lovely to have you here.

It’s great to hear that you’ve already started reflux medication. Has Emilia’s doctor or paediatrician been helping you manage this?

I also wanted to say well done for eliminating dairy from your diet. Have you been given any guidance on how long it might take to see a change in Emilia’s symptoms if dairy is contributing?

It’s encouraging that Emilia gets a longer stretch of sleep at the start of the night. That’s actually really promising, especially considering the reflux. Many babies her age wake more frequently in the second half of the night, so what you’re seeing is common – and a strong first stretch shows her sleep drive is developing well.

You’ve also done a great job introducing a bedtime routine already – that’s a fantastic foundation.

To give you the most tailored advice around sleep training and settling, I just need a bit more detail:

1. Does Emilia have a consistent morning wake-up time? If so what time does she wake?

2. Are you following a “wake, feed, play, sleep” routine during the day?

3. Does she use a pacifier while sleeping in the carrier?

4. If she isn’t rolling yet, would you be open to trying a more traditional swaddle again? Or have you noticed that she is more settled now that she has had a few days to get familiar with the new swaddle?

5. From what you’ve described, is this Emilia’s bedtime routine?

   • Bath

   • Feed (drops, breastfeed one side, burp, breastfeed other side, burp)

   • Hold upright for 10 minutes

   • Give reflux syrup and pacifier

   • Hold upright for another 15–20 minutes (where she falls asleep)

   • Then wake her to change nappy, put on pyjamas

   • Move to bedroom, darken the room, turn on white noise

   • Rock her while singing

   • Swaddle

   • Rock to sleep

   • Then transfer to crib asleep

6. Do you have a routine for naps in the carrier?

7. You mentioned catnapping – could you share how many naps Emilia is having each day and roughly when they happen?

8. What time does she usually fall asleep for the night?

9. When she naps in the carrier, do you need to keep walking the whole time to keep her asleep?

10. Are you needing to reinsert her pacifier frequently overnight – or does she usually stay asleep even when it pops out (I am thinking more about that first long stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night)?

Regarding your question about white noise:
A YouTube video of rain sounds is fine to use – just check that it’s a consistent sound without sudden thunder or changes in volume. Also:

• Turn the phone screen off or face it down so it doesn’t light up the room

• Keep volume under 50 dB and place the phone away from her sleep space.

And about naps on walks:
Yes, it’s perfectly fine to continue letting her nap while you’re out walking. Getting some fresh air and movement is important for both of you.

Sorry again for all the questions!

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Valene,

It’s so nice to hear that you enjoyed the course and the live examples with my little one!

I am so sorry, but I just need a little more information before I can give you a solid plan to help you move from contact napping to sleeping in a crib. You’ve already given a wonderful overview, and this next bit of detail will help me tailor the advice specifically to your baby and your current routine.

When you have a moment, could you please answer the questions below?

1. You mentioned that her wake-up time is 7am – is this consistent? (For example, do you always wake her by 7:30am if she hasn’t woken naturally?)

2. As she’s feeding to sleep, I’m wondering if you’re currently following a wake → feed → play → feed → sleep routine during the day?

3. Does she use a pacifier at all, or is all her soothing currently linked to the breast?

4. Do you have a nap routine? If so, could you describe it for me?

5. Based on what you’ve said, I’m assuming that to get her to sleep at nap time, you are sitting in a chair and feeding her to sleep – and then are you continuing to hold her for the duration of the nap? Or are you placing her down on your bed or in the crib? Or are you wearing her in a baby carrier?

6. You mentioned she naps for around 3 hours per day – how many naps is she currently having? And have you noticed if the timing of the first nap has become relatively predictable?

7. Do you have a bedtime routine? If so, could you describe what it looks like?

8. Can you describe the room her crib is in (so it is cool, free from sudden loud noises and dark) – and is it currently in your room?

9. You mentioned you’re co-sleeping with your little one – so I’m assuming she’s sleeping in a sleeping bag with her arms free overnight?

10. Has she learnt to roll over yet?

11. When she wakes overnight, are you following the wake → feed → sleep routine? And do you happen to know the timing of these wakes?

12. You mentioned bedtime is around 10pm – is this occurring consistently at this time, or generally within a 30-minute window?

13. Are you able to let me know how long she is staying awake for between naps?

I am so sorry for all the questions. But once I have your answers I will be able to give you more specific advice which will work.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Livia,

Firstly, it’s so good to hear that Emilia’s reflux is settling down since you’ve eliminated dairy from your diet. It would be such a relief to finally know what is causing her the pain and discomfort.

It also looks like she is adjusting so well to the sleep training, with you already getting some naps in the crib! That’s huge!

It’s great that you read the other posts and started making Emilia’s wake-up time more consistent.

In regards to following a nap routine when she is going to nap in the stroller. This is how you can tweak it slightly so it works:

• Take her into the bedroom.
• Swaddle her and offer her pacifier.
• Then walk downstairs while you hold her in your arms
• Sing her the lullaby while you rock her in your arms (if you feel comfortable doing this)

• Lay her in the crib and settle her to sleep there, by putting your hand on her or just walking (often the movement is enough to lull them to sleep).
  

If you find it challenging to carry all the items plus Emilia while she is swaddled downstairs, then just swaddle her downstairs, pop the pacifier in and then sing the lullaby and lay her in the pram to settle her to sleep.

In regards to settling her to sleep when you are not at home, I recommend you just follow a mini routine. So it might be +/- swaddle, offer the pacifier, sing her a lullaby while you rock her in your arms and then settle her to sleep.

Regarding your trip tomorrow: When you wake her at 3:30 am, it’s likely she’ll easily go back to sleep, especially if you’re wearing her. For the rest of that travel day, I suggest just following her cues and feeding her whenever she’s hungry.

Since you’re only staying there for 1–2 weeks and there’s only a one-hour time difference, I recommend keeping her on her current schedule rather than adjusting her fully to the new time zone. For example, her usual wake-up time at home is between 8:00 and 8:30 am. After you move to the new time zone, she’ll naturally wake between 7:00 and 7:30 am local time (because that corresponds to her usual 8:00–8:30 am wake-up at home).

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Leonor,

Unfortunately, the last nap of the day can be a little more challenging.

Something you could try is to mix up her routine slightly for this nap. So for example, you could complete most of the nap routine in the living room and then take her into the bedroom to sing the lullaby and settle her to sleep. Sometimes simply changing up the routine slightly can stop the protest.

The other thing I recommend you do is note down when her previous nap ends and when she actually falls asleep for that final nap. This might show you what her ideal wake window is just before that final nap.

Another reason she might be fighting that nap is because she is getting ready to drop it. Do you think that is the case? I know this might be a little hard to answer as we are currently trying to work out what her natural rhythm is.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

It’s great that he loves playing on the floor and is happy to lie on his back while he is awake and playful!

Yep, you’re right implementing the feed before the nap would mean that he would follow a wake – eat – play – eat (30 minutes before the nap) for both daytime naps and before he goes to bed at night. I would just try this approach for a few days to see if it helps him nap for longer stretches. But it is really important that when you feed him the 30 minutes before nap time, he doesn’t fall asleep. If he does fall asleep while feeding, his sleep pressure will be lower at nap time and as a result he might protest more because he simply isn’t tired. It can be really tricky to notice when they are falling asleep while feeding, as they continue to suck. So if you notice that Maxi is sucking but not swallowing every few mouthfuls (so you can’t see or hear him swallow) then he is falling asleep or already asleep. So try to keep an eye on that.

I do think the key to getting him to nap for longer is helping him learn how to fall asleep on his own in the co-sleeper. I know you have been working hard on helping him learn this skill at bedtime. Have you continued to try using the settling pyramid for naps or are you settling him to sleep in your arms?

I just wanted to clarify something. When you do Maxi’s bedtime routine is he falling asleep before you lay him down in the co-sleeper and then try the settling pyramid? So is he falling asleep while you are feeding him or walking around the living room with him? Or do you do the routine below and he is awake when you lay him in the co-sleeper? So his bedtime routine looks like this:

• Between 6-7pm Maxi gives sleepy cues
• Dim all the living room lights
• Play the same Disney lullaby,
• Diaper change
• Pyjama on
• Sleep sack on in the living room
• Possibly read a book if he’s still awake or walk a little with him in the living room.
• Possibly one more breastfeed if he’s searching for the breast
• Then lay him in the co-sleeper awake and try the settling pyramid

Also, it’s so nice to hear that you are enjoying Play, Develop, Thrive.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

Thanks so much for updating me on how Maxi is going – I have been thinking of you all.

In regards to sleeping on his tummy – if he can get there naturally by himself then it is fine to let him sleep on his tummy. You just need to make sure the sleep environment is safe – so a firm, flat mattress with no loose blankets or loose toys etc.

If you feel that giving him a top-up feed 30 minutes before his nap might help him sleep for longer then it’s fine to give it a try and see if it does. Doing this shouldn’t have an impact on his bedtime. It’s just important to make sure that he doesn’t fall asleep while having that second feed. So feed him in a bright room and if you notice that he stops swallowing or he doesn’t swallow as often that’s a sign he is falling asleep. So pause the feed, reposition him to wake him up and then start the feed again if you feel he is still hungry.

The other option is to make sure he has a fuller feed for that first feed. One way you can do this is feed him, then when you notice that he is slowing down or not swallowing as often, pause the feed, potentially change his nappy to make him more alert and then top him up with another feed.

In regards to your question about if I have any other suggestions to help with getting Maxi comfortable with sleeping in the crib instead of on you – I am just going to think about this for a little more and get back to you tomorrow.

Something I was wondering is if he enjoys playing while lying on his back? Does he spend time during the day lying on the floor or another surface or is he in a carrier for most of the day?

Have a great weekend too!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Val,

I’m glad the plan sounds okay.

Please do let me know how it goes!

I really hope you have a lovely weekend!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Giedre,

It’s great to hear the suggestions helped a little.

It sounds like an 11:3am nap works better for your little one.

It also looks like she might have had a few rough nights at the end, but it looks like she is falling asleep consistently around 8:30pm now which is great.

I was just wondering when you say that you move back down the pyramid before she falls asleep, does this mean you move out of her line of sight, so that she falls asleep without you in view?

You also mentioned that she is waking more often overnight. It sounds like this might now be 4 times overnight instead of 2 – 3 times. Are you able to describe what overnight looks like:

• What are the timing of these wakes?
• What you do for each of these wakes (so how you settle her back to sleep – eg, patting, feeding ect),
• What time in the night do you move her into your bed?
• If she falls back to sleep easily or if she is staying awake for ages?

I hope you have a lovely weekend too!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Livia,

Thanks so much for answering all my questions!

You’re right that Emilia’s nap timing and length are still unpredictable – this is very normal for a 3-month-old.

However, it’s great to see that she’s managed to stay asleep in the crib after transferring from your arms, even napping up to an hour and a half at times. I was initially concerned that her reflux might disrupt her sleep when lying flat, but it sounds like she’s coping well, which is fantastic!

How did your appointment with the paediatric gastroenterologist go? Were they happy with how the medication is working? Have you noticed any changes since stopping dairy?

In regards to improving Emilia’s sleep, I have a few recommendations:

Tweak Her Wake-Up Time

You mentioned that Emilia doesn’t yet have a consistent wake-up time and you’re deciding between 7 and 8 am. At her age, babies typically wake up early, between 6 and 7 am, due to their natural sleep patterns. Over the next month, as Emilia’s circadian rhythm (her internal body clock) matures, you might find she naturally starts waking up earlier.

It’s also important to know that an earlier wake-up usually leads to an earlier bedtime. To help support Emilia’s developing circadian rhythm, you can start waking her consistently within a 30-minute time frame each morning.

• If you’re happy with her current bedtime, you might aim for her wake-up time to be between 8:00 and 8:30 am.

• If you’d prefer her bedtime to shift slightly earlier, try waking her between 7:30 and 8:00 am.

Make the First Nap More Consistent

To help make your days more predictable and gently encourage Emilia into a consistent nap routine, try scheduling her first nap around the same time each morning. This approach works best when her wake-up time is regular.

From what you’ve shared, it seems Emilia usually stays awake for about 1 hour and 15 minutes before needing her next nap, though sometimes a bit longer. To start creating this consistency, try putting her down for her first nap about 1 hour and 15 minutes after she wakes up.

For example, if she wakes at 7:30 am, aim to start her nap between 8:30 and 8:45 am. By doing this regularly, you’ll notice that the timing of this nap naturally becomes more predictable, usually falling within about a 30-minute window each day.

Swaddling

You mentioned that Emilia seemed to sleep better when you returned to using the traditional swaddle. Has this improvement continued? If so, I recommend continuing with the traditional swaddle for now while we focus on improving her naps.

However, please keep an eye out – if Emilia starts to roll or shows any signs that she’s learning to roll, you’ll need to stop using the swaddle immediately for safety reasons.

Follow a Nap Routine (Even for Carrier or Stroller Naps)

It would be great if you could introduce a nap routine (even if she is napping in the carrier) as these activities will become a sleep association, letting Emilia know that it’s time to go to sleep. The idea is that once she learns what these activities mean, when you do them before a nap and lay her down in the crib, the transition won’t be as jarring and it should make it easier for Emilia to adjust and then as a result easier for you to apply the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep. If you are happy to implement a nap routine, you just want to make sure it is a shorter version of the bedtime routine. So it might be something like this:

If Emilia naps in the crib:

• Take her into the bedroom.

• Swaddle her and offer her pacifier.

• Darken the room and turn on white noise.

• Gently rock her while singing the same familiar bedtime song.

• If she’s calm, lay her down awake in the crib and use the settling pyramid.

• If she’s unsettled or you’re not ready to try the settling pyramid, help her fall asleep in your arms, but aim for her to fall asleep without movement. Here’s how:

  1. After you finish singing, continue rocking her in your arms.

  2. Begin adding a gentle “shh” rhythm alongside the rocking.

  3. Gradually slow the rocking until you’re barely moving – just shushing.

  4. Finally, stop shushing and stand still and silent until she drifts off.

  By reducing the rocking, Emilia will learn to fall asleep while you’re standing still, which will make it much smoother to transition her into the crib and use the settling pyramid when she’s ready.

If Emilia naps in the stroller:

• Take her into the bedroom.

• Swaddle her and offer her pacifier.

• Darken the room and turn on white noise.

• Rock her gently and sing your usual bedtime song.

• Place her in the stroller and then begin your walk.

If Emilia naps in the carrier:

• Take her into the bedroom.

• Offer her pacifier (no swaddle needed).

• Darken the room and turn on white noise.

• Rock gently while singing your bedtime song.

• Place her in the carrier and begin your walk.
  If staying at home, settle her in the carrier but stop moving just before she falls asleep. This practice helps her learn to fall asleep without needing movement.

Bedtime Routine

Bedtime is usually the best time to use the settling pyramid because their circadian rhythm and sleep pressure are working together encouraging them to fall asleep. But since Emilia needs to be held upright after feeding – and often falls asleep during that time – it might make it slightly challenging to use the settling pyramid at bedtime. Simply because her sleep pressure will lower while she sleeps, so when you do lay her down in the crib at the end of the bedtime routine she may not feel quite as tired and could protest more. For that reason, you might have more success applying the settling pyramid to her naps, where there’s no feed immediately beforehand.

That said, you can still give the settling pyramid a go at bedtime – just work to keep her awake during and immediately after the feed. One simple trick is to nurse her in a more stimulating space (for example, the lounge instead of the bedroom). The extra sights and sounds may help counteract the naturally soothing effect of sucking, though it can still be challenging.

If using the settling pyramid is too challenging at this point, continue settling her to sleep in your arms. But try and stop the rocking before she falls asleep, so that she falls asleep while you are standing still.

Does any of this sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Holly,

How have the last few days gone?

Have you been able to stretch that final wake window at the end of the day slightly and have you noticed if it has eliminated those bedtime struggles?

Regarding the morning when you let her sleep until 7am – that really shouldn’t have thrown things off too much since it was still within that recommended 30-minute wake-up window. That said if she was consistently having that first nap at 8am (when she was waking consistently at 6am) then she might have been ready for a nap at 8am. But it sounds like her wake-up time is shifting a little from 6am to 6:30/6:45am, so she might just need a few days to adjust to this shift and as a result a slightly later first nap.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Val,

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer all my questions!

It sounds like your little one has made some progress over the past week, with her bedtime now happening at 8pm instead of 10pm.

It’s also great to hear that she is having a long stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night, and she already has a consistent wake-up time!

To help her learn how to fall asleep in the crib, I have a few suggestions:

1. Continue following the wake, feed, play, sleep routine

It’s great that mix feeds have eliminated the need for top-ups before naps. Your plan to consistently follow the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day is great, as this will give you plenty of opportunities to help her learn to fall asleep without the breast/feed.

2. Help her get comfortable lying on her back

You mentioned that she is usually in the carrier for most of the day and isn’t keen on independent play under the play gym. It sounds like she has a strong preference for being held upright, and this could be one of the reasons she protests so much when you attempt to lay her on her back in the crib (basically that position would feel very strange). To help her feel more comfortable on her back I was wondering if you could introduce short, play sessions in this position throughout the day, aiming to do it every wake window. For example, you could:

• Lay her across your legs while you’re sitting on the couch, and sing or talk to her.

• Place her under the play gym while you stay close by so she can see and hear you. You could talk about the toys above her or gently wiggle them to gain her attention.

If this is something you are happy to do, try to give her a few minutes of playing while lying on her back at the start of each wake window, right after a feed – as this is when she’ll be well-rested and more likely to enjoy this position. Also, keep these sessions brief – just 2–5 minutes to start. If she becomes fussy, pick her up and try again later. Remember the goal is to help her feel comfortable with lying on her back, so we need to make sure the experience is positive and enjoyable, not stressful or overwhelming

3. Make the Timing of the First Nap More Consistent

At 3 months of age, it’s completely normal for babies to not have a predictable nap routine. However, one helpful step you can take is to anchor the first nap of the day at a consistent time. Once this first nap becomes consistent, it will be much easier to bring predictability to the second nap, and then the rest of the day’s sleep can begin to fall into place.

As she is waking at a consistent time each morning (between 6:45 – 7:15am), anchoring the timing of that first nap is pretty easy. Just aim to start that first nap 1 hour to 1 hour and 15 minutes after waking. For example, if she wakes at 7 am, then her first nap should begin around 8:00/8:15 am.

4. Tweaking Her Bedtime Routine

It’s great to hear that her bedtime has become predictable. This consistency suggests that her circadian rhythm (internal body clock) and sleep pressure (the natural drive to sleep that builds across wake time) are working together to support more stable night sleep.

Because both of these systems are working together at bedtime, it’s the perfect time to start teaching her how to fall asleep in the crib. If you’re ready to give this a try, here’s what her bedtime routine could look like:

• Change her nappy
• Feed her – During the final feed, it’s important to keep her awake. This helps ensure her sleep pressure (the natural drive to fall asleep) remains high when you place her in the crib, making it more likely she’ll fall asleep independently. If she drifts off during the feed – even for a short time -some of that sleep pressure is released, and she may resist falling asleep once you lay her down. Now, keeping her awake while feeding can be challenging and it’s also difficult to pick up when they have fallen asleep, as babies continue to suck even when they are asleep. So when you are feeding her, you really need to pay attention to her swallowing. When she’s awake and actively feeding, she’ll swallow every few sucks. If she’s sucking but not swallowing – or swallowing much less frequently – it’s a sign she’s getting drowsy or has fallen asleep. If you notice this, pause the feed, reposition her to help her wake up and then resume the feed if she still seems hungry.
• Put on her sleep sack
• Walk into the dark bedroom
• Hold her in a cradled position (lying in your arms, rather than upright against your chest). This helps her get used to the position she’ll be in when she sleeps in the crib.

• Sing her a song while rocking her in your arms

Now at this point you you have two options

• Option 1: If she is calm you can lay her down in the crib and settle her to sleep using the settling pyramid.
• Option 2: If she isn’t calm or you feel like this is too big a step, you can settle her to sleep in your arms but gradually stop moving, so she falls asleep while you’re standing still. By doing this you’re helping her slowly learn to fall asleep without movement and this will make it easier to transition to crib sleep and the settling pyramid later on. So it would look like this: – Continue rocking her in your arms and start shushing and patting, – Then stop rocking her and stand still, as you shush and pat her. – Then stop patting her and just continue shushing. – Then finally stop shushing and just hold her still until she falls asleep – Then lay her in the crib

5. Follow A Nap Routine

You mentioned that she often falls asleep while you’re wearing her and you don’t really have a nap routine. It would be great if you could implement a brief nap routine before she falls asleep (even if you plan on settling her to sleep in the carrier). The activities you do as part of the nap routine will become sleep associations that will help her recognise it’s time to sleep and will make it easier to transition to using the settling pyramid when you’re ready.

To make it possible to do a nap routine I recommend you take her out of the carrier after she’s been awake for 50 ish minutes. This will ensure that you notice her sleepy cues (which can be hard to notice in a carrier) and then do the nap routine. The nap routine could just be a shorter version of the bedtime routine. So for example it might look like this:

• When you notice her sleepy cues walk into the bedroom.
• Hold her in a cradled position

• Sing her a song while rocking her in your arms

When you finish singing the song you have three options:

• Option 1: Lay her down in the crib and settle her to sleep using the settling pyramid. This option might feel like a little too much and you might just want to focus on doing this at bedtime and possibly the first nap of the day.
• Option 2: Settle her to sleep in your arms making sure that you are standing still when she falls asleep (so following the steps I outlined in the ‘Tweaking Bedtime Routine’ suggestion). And then once she is asleep laying her down in the crib or putting on the carrier and letting her nap there.
  
• Option 3: Pop the carrier on and then settle her to sleep in the carrier but try to stop moving around and patting her back before she falls asleep in the carrier. Doing this will help her learn how to fall asleep without movement. This will make it easier to transition to option 2 and then eventually use the settling pyramid when you’re ready.
  

Does this sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Fantastic.

Looking forward to hearing what changes occur.

Have a great week too!

[Emma H]

Hi Leonor,

It’s great to hear that you are happy with the plan, but more importantly finding it easier to read your little one’s tired signs. It’s also fantastic that you’ve already started a nap routine and she is now falling asleep in the bedroom instead of on your walk.

In regards to capping her naps it’s fine to hold off on this step initially and just see what her natural rhythm is. 4 1/2 hours of daytime naps is not too much for this age – I must have miscalculated it somehow as I thought she was napping for 5 – 6 hours a day. It’s also okay to extend her naps in the carrier if you would like – but I would just aim to do this for the 1st and 2nd naps of the day, as typically the last naps are shorter. Does this sound okay?

In regards to the timing of her last nap of the day, it really depends on the timing and lengths of her previous naps. I do expect that as her wake-up time becomes more consistent, and the first nap anchors more predictably, her overall daily routine will begin to shift — and this often leads to bedtime gradually moving earlier as well. Typically, naps later in the day are shorter in duration, which is developmentally normal. However, if she’s had very short naps throughout the day, she may need a slightly longer final nap to avoid becoming overtired.

The key thing to watch is that she’s not napping past 7:30 pm if you’re aiming for a 9:30 pm bedtime. That said, if her final nap starts at 6:00 pm and she wakes at 6:30 pm, you wouldn’t want to offer another nap around 8:00 pm, as that would likely push her bedtime to 10:00 pm or later. In this case, it would be better to shift bedtime earlier — ideally to around 8:00 pm

Does that make sense?

In regards to the final feed of the night – just continue feeding her to sleep and once we work out her natural pattern and narrow down the timing of her bedtime we will work on adjusting the routine.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Holly,

Thanks for taking the time to answer those questions.

I really hope the past few nights have been a little smoother.

Did the 4:00 a.m. bottle help your daughter settle back to sleep in her crib until her usual 6:00 a.m. wake-up?

Nap Schedule & Bedtime Wake Window

It’s great that your little one is having 3 naps a day. I noticed that she is generally staying awake for 2 1/2 hours between naps. Typically once they transition to a 3-nap schedule, the wake windows tend to get longer as the day goes on. A common wake window pattern might look like:

• 2 hours before nap 1
• 3 hours before nap 2
• 3–4 hours before bedtime

However, that last long window before bed (3–4 hours) tends to work best when nap 1 and 2 are longer naps (about 60–90 minutes each). Since your daughter’s naps are on the shorter side right now, stretching all of her wake windows right now might be too much.

But one thing I’m wondering is whether the frequent wake-ups in the early part of the night are happening because she’s not quite tired enough at bedtime. Sometimes if babies go to bed before they’ve built up enough sleep pressure, they can fall asleep easily but then wake up more frequently in the first half of the night.

If you’re open to it, we could try a gentle adjustment to her final wake window – the time between her last nap and bedtime – to see if that helps her stay asleep more consistently.

Here’s how we could try it:

• Days 1-3: Extend her final wake window by just 15 minutes (So if she’s currently awake for 2.5 hours before bed, increase it to 2 hours and 45 minutes)
• Watch how she responds – if she’s still in a good mood, falls asleep easily, and the early wake-ups improve, that’s a great sign
• If she tolerates the change well but is still waking frequently at the beginning of the night, then on Days 4–6, try increasing that wake window again by another 15 minutes – up to 3 hours and see how she responds.

Helping Her Fall Asleep in the Crib

Hopefully, the 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. bottles plus medication are helping her stay settled in the crib.

However, I do think the key to helping her sleep through the night and napping for longer is helping her learn how to fall asleep in the crib.

It sounds like she might have gone back to needing rocking to get to sleep — which is very common when babies are:

• Teething
• Hitting milestones (like crawling or standing)
• Experiencing separation anxiety — which often starts around 6–7 months

These changes make babies more clingy, and understandably we tend to help more with settling. But over time, they can begin to rely on that help to fall asleep. So we want to gently teach her how to fall asleep without needing to be rocked.

I understand that using the settling pyramid might be a little too big of a step at the moment. But what I was wondering is if you would be happy to help her learn how to fall asleep without rocking, as this will make it easier to move to the settling pyramid when you are ready. If you are happy to do this then her bedtime routine might look a little like this:

1. Feed in a bright room – Stop the feed if you notice she’s sucking but not swallowing — this means she’s drifting off
2. Diaper change (if needed)
3. Put her in her sleeping bag
4. Turn on the white noise machine and humidifier
5. Close blackout blinds & dim the lights
6. Sing her bedtime song while rocking her in your arms
7. Continue rocking while patting and shushing
8. Then stop rocking, continue patting and shushing
9. Then stop patting, continue just shushing
10. Finally, stand still and quiet, holding her calmly until she drifts off

Her nap routine would look the same, except for the feed of of course.

Then once she’s falling asleep without movement in your arms, you can start laying her in the crib and using the pyramid to help her fall asleep there.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Leonor,

Wow — the level of detail you’ve tracked over the past two weeks is incredible! This information is so helpful when we’re trying to figure out what’s going on with your little one’s sleep.

You’re absolutely right that there doesn’t seem to be a consistent pattern yet with her naps or bedtime.

But here’s what I have noticed so far:

• Her wake-up time varies between 7:00–8:30am, but based on your notes, it seems her natural wake-up time is likely between 7:00–7:30am.
• She’s napping for up to 5–6 hours most days, which is a lot of daytime sleep for a 3-month-old. Just as a side note – when babies are worn, they often sleep longer because we tend to keep moving as they start to stir between sleep cycles. That movement can help them link cycles and stay asleep longer than they typically would if they were sleeping in a crib.
• She’s sometimes awake for 2–3+ hours between naps. At 3 months, most babies manage about 1.5 hours awake before needing another nap. I just wanted to double-check – is she currently 3 months or just a few days away from turning 4 months? That will help guide how long she should be awake between sleeps.
• Her last nap of the day is often pretty late. This timing can directly impact bedtime because babies need enough awake time between the end of their last nap and bedtime to be able to fall asleep easily.
• Her bedtime varies quite a bit too, but based on your tracking, she mostly falls asleep between 9:00–9:30pm.

Before jumping into the settling pyramid for naps and bedtime, I’d love you to hold off for just a few days and instead, try to tighten up the timing of her wake-up, naps, and bedtime for the next 4–6 days. The reason is: I’d really like to see what her nap and bedtime patterns naturally settle into with just a few small adjustments. If we can create more consistency in the rhythm of her day, it’ll make it easier to apply the settling pyramid, especially at bedtime, because we’ll have a better idea of when she’s actually ready to go to sleep.

Would you be happy to try the following for the next 4–6 days?

• Wake her up every morning between 7:00–7:30am. I know that’s tough with frequent night wakes, but narrowing her wake-up to a consistent 30-minute window really helps reset her internal body clock each day. This consistency supports the development of her circadian rhythm (which typically matures around 6 months) and helps anchor nap and bedtime more predictably.
• Offer her first nap of the day at 9:00am. If she wakes at 7:00am and is really tired, you can shift it slightly earlier to 8:30am. The goal is to start building consistency with that first nap, which naturally helps the other naps fall into place throughout the day.
• Offer her a nap after 1.5 hours of awake time. If she seems tired sooner, it’s completely okay to offer a nap earlier. The key thing is to avoid wake windows that are 2–3+ hours long right now – unless she is close to 4 months, in which case she might manage up to 2 hours awake.
• Cap her naps at 1.5 hours. I know she can do longer stretches, especially in the wrap, but by gently limiting each nap, we can help ensure she isn’t getting too much of her total sleep needs met during the day — which should help shift bedtime a bit earlier too.
• If she’s still asleep at 7:30pm, wake her up. This gives her at least 1.5 hours of awake time before a 9:00–9:30pm bedtime. Letting her nap too late in the evening is likely contributing to those later bedtimes.
• Create a short nap routine before placing her in the wrap. For example, take her to the bedroom where her cot is, change her nappy there, darken the room by closing the blinds, sing a short lullaby or song — then place her in the wrap and go for your walk. Over time, these cues will begin to signal to her that it’s sleep time, and this will make the transition to using the settling pyramid much smoother when we’re ready.
  
• Consider tweaking the bedtime routine so the feed happens at the start of the routine. I know this one might be a little tricky to start with so happy for you to hold off on this one until we have a more structured plan in place.

Does that sound okay to you?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Emma H.