[Emma H]

Hi Diala,

Before I can give you some advice on how to shift her bedtime from 10pm to 8pm, I just have a few questions. I am sorry that there are so many. It will just help me understand what is happening and as a result what strategies will work. So when you have time can you please answer the questions below?

1. Does your little one have a consistent wake-up time? If so what time is it?
2. How many naps does she have?
3. What time does she go down for the nap and then wake up from those naps?
4. Can you describe where she sleeps (does she room share, co-sleep, is the room dark, cool and quiet?)
5. Have you been able to follow the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day?
6. Do you have a nap routine? If so can you describe what the routine is?
7. Do you have a bedtime routine and if so can you describe it?
8. How are you currently settling her to sleep?
9. Does she use a pacifier?

Sorry again for the questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Giedre,

Yep it will be strange but if you feel like her sleep has gotten worse not better since dropping to 1 nap it might be worth a try. Do you feel like it has gotten worse?

Also, you’re right initially I would start the bedtime routine at 7:30pm with her in the crib at 8pm.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Val,

Thanks so much for the update – it’s so good to hear that everything is going smoothly!

Unfortunately at this age, it’s still a bit early for a fully consistent nap schedule. Initially, the goal is to establish a predictable first nap. Once this first nap is consistent, you’ll typically find that the second nap begins to fall into place, followed by the third, and so on. Generally, a firm nap schedule starts to become more established around 5 to 6 months of age.

Please keep me posted!

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

At around 7 months, it’s common for separation anxiety to start appearing, as you’ve noticed. Your little one might handle mornings well, feeling refreshed after a night’s sleep, but as the day progresses, she may increasingly need your presence because her resilience and coping abilities decrease as she gets more fatigued.

It sounds like you’re able to lay her down in the crib awake for naps and at bedtime which is great! I’m curious-how long has she been consistently able to fall asleep independently in the crib? If this is a recent milestone, it’s likely that her nighttime awakenings will naturally begin to decrease. You’ve mentioned she occasionally sleeps in 3–3.5-hour stretches at night- has this started recently, and does it typically happen during the first half of the night? If so, this is a great sign indicating that her initial stretch of sleep is gradually lengthening. Usually, once babies master self-settling, these longer sleep stretches expand, and night wakings begin to shift later into the night before eventually disappearing altogether, with early morning wakings typically being the last to fade.

If she’s been self-settling for a few weeks already, we can gently encourage even longer sleep stretches at the beginning of the night. When she wakes around 9:10 pm, initially pause and see if she can resettle herself. Since you’ll be in the room at this time, maintaining a very quiet environment is key. If she pauses between calls, give her some space to self-soothe. If her cries are continuous without pauses, that’s your signal she needs support. Instead of feeding her at this time, would you be comfortable trying to resettle her either directly in the crib using the settling pyramid (starting immediately with patting and shushing, then gradually working down the pyramid) or picking her up and walking around the room (or standing still rocking her) while singing a lullaby? Avoiding the 9:10 pm feed could help prevent reinforcing her waking due to hunger. Additionally, if she settles without a feed in your arms, transitioning to crib settling using the pyramid method will be easier.

Does this sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Catherin,

Thanks so much for all of this information – it’s incredibly helpful, and it’s definitely not too much!

It’s great to hear that you’ve adjusted the bedtime routine slightly to better suit your little one’s needs.

I’m curious how the past few nights have been going with the later bedtime. Have you noticed fewer wake-ups overnight as a result?

Also, regarding her overnight wake-ups, I noticed there’s quite a bit of time before placing her back in the crib. Is she fully awake during this period, or is this extended time due to holding her upright for 20-30 minutes to manage reflux? Given she’s now over 6 months old, would you consider experimenting with skipping this upright holding time to see if it affects her sleep. It’s possible she no longer requires this after feeding.

I also wanted to confirm – are her naps still happening in your arms, or has she started successfully napping in the crib?

Additionally, I noticed her morning wake-up times have varied significantly in your recent records. To encourage longer, consolidated nighttime sleep and more predictable bedtimes, it’s helpful to maintain a consistent morning wake-up time within about a 30-minute window. I understand that a 7:30am wake-up is too challenging right now, so I was wondering if you can think of a wake-up time that would be achievable? If so, we can structure her naps and bedtime routine around that.

Let me know your thoughts!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Giedre,

I’m sorry to hear the last few weeks have been rough. From what you’ve described, it seems like switching to one nap might not have improved her sleep, and it may even be making things worse – she seems to be waking more overnight and fighting sleep just as much.

What do you think?

If you feel her sleep has gotten worse rather than better, would you consider trying a two-nap schedule again? I didn’t suggest this previously because you mentioned she stayed awake for about an hour during overnight wake-ups with two naps. However, since she’s now waking again for extended periods, this could indicate she’s not getting enough daytime sleep. It might be worthwhile to revisit the two-nap schedule to see if it helps.

Here’s a schedule you could try:

• 6:30/7:00 am – Wake up

• 9:00 am – Nap 1

• 10:00 am – Wake up

• 1:00 pm – Nap 2

• 2/2:30 pm – Wake up (2:30 at the latest)

• 7:30 pm – Bedtime

With this schedule, she will still wake up from that final nap at a similar time and therefore should have enough wake time before bedtime to fall asleep. But, if you feel like she needs more time awake before bedtime you could shift her bedtime to 8/8:30pm. But in saying that, I would be interested to see if a bedtime at 7:30pm actually makes it easier for her to fall asleep.

If you do go back to the two-nap schedule, you could slightly tweak your settling routine. After completing your usual nap or bedtime routine, lay her down and immediately begin patting and shushing to help her calm quickly. Once she settles, stop patting and continue shushing while still in her view. Then, gradually move out of her sight, allowing her to fall asleep independently. Starting at the top of the settling pyramid right away can help prevent her from becoming too upset, reducing the need to pick her up or continue patting and shushing her until she falls asleep.

Regarding your question about sleep sacks, getting a sack with legs could help prevent her from falling and becoming upset. Alternatively, if the temperature is comfortable enough, you might consider skipping the sleep sack altogether.

What do you think?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

It’s great to hear that when Maxi is asleep his legs aren’t restless. This reassures me that once he learns how to fall asleep in the co-sleeper, he will be able to start sleeping for longer stretches.

Let me know how the tweaked routine and the modified version of the settling pyramid goes.

I really think this might be a better option for Maxi.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

It’s great that she is napping in the crib and she has started to connect nap cycles now.

As you have noticed the wake window for the first nap tends to be shorter than the rest. Typically, the wake windows can get longer as the day progresses. It sounds like the timing of her first nap is happening at the same time each day which is great too!

It’s fine to continue to follow her tired signs to identify when she is ready for a nap.

In regards to bedtime and overnight sleep, I just have a few questions.

• You mentioned that for naps you stand by the crib for 2 mins or until her movement and finger sucking slows down before laying her in the crib. Is she asleep when you lay her down in the crib or awake?
• Can you describe to me what her bedtime routine looks like and if she is feeding to sleep or asleep before you lay her in the crib?
• Is she room-sharing with you?
• If you are room sharing, what time do you or anyone else enter the bedroom at night?

Sorry for the questions again Rita.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Catherine,

Keep an eye on what time she naturally falls asleep at night—this will help you identify her true bedtime. Her bedtime might shift slightly depending on when her last nap ends, so tracking nap times can help as well. From what you’ve described, it sounds like her bedtime might be around 6:00–6:30 pm. Hopefully, this isn’t too tricky given her big brother’s bedtime is similar.

Helping her learn to fall asleep independently in her crib, both at bedtime and during naps, will support her in developing the skills to link sleep cycles and extend her naps. However, remember that naps typically become longer and more predictable around 5–6 months of age. She might continue taking shorter naps until then, but with practice, she might start extending them earlier.

In response to your question, “Does bedtime create a better environment for learning self-soothing techniques?” the short answer is yes—bedtime usually offers the best chance of success. This is because at bedtime, two factors work together: sleep pressure (the body’s natural urge to sleep) and the circadian rhythm (the body’s internal clock signalling it’s time to sleep). During naps, only sleep pressure is present. Additionally, bedtime typically occurs at a consistent time each day, whereas nap times can be less predictable, especially for babies under 6 months. These combined factors mean you’re more likely to have success with the settling pyramid at bedtime.

Hopefully, you’ve continued to have success the past few days.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Catherine,

It’s wonderful to hear you’re already seeing success settling your little one in the bassinet for her first two naps! It’s absolutely fine to keep patting her to sleep for now as she gets used to this new way of settling. When you’re ready, I’d suggest gradually reducing the patting: in a few days, try slowing the patting down and eventually stopping it altogether, leaving just your hand resting on her. After another few days, aim to remove your hand before she’s completely asleep. Of course, if she adapts quickly, feel free to move through these steps sooner.

At around 12.5 weeks, 45-minute naps are common. I understand this might seem shorter than the naps she had in the wrap, but that’s because babies often sleep longer in a wrap since our movements naturally soothe them back to sleep.

To help her stay awake during feeds after the second nap, consider giving her a few minutes of playtime immediately after waking, before feeding her. This ensures she’s fully awake for the feed. However, if she wakes very hungry and upset, definitely feed her right away. If she happens to fall asleep during feeding, just start counting her next wake window from when she wakes up after the feed.

If you feel ready, bedtime is also a great time to try settling her in the bassinet using the settling pyramid. If 6 pm is consistently her bedtime, then stick with this time. However, from your message, it sounds like 6 pm might not always be consistent—could you clarify this for me?

Lastly, you asked, “Will bassinet bed sleeping perhaps also improve her wakefulness?” Could you please clarify this question a bit more? I’m just not exactly sure what you’re asking.

Thanks

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Leonor,

Thanks so much for the update. It does look like there have been some changes in her sleep patterns over the past week. And from the data you have provided it does look like her bedtime has shifted to 8 – 8:30pm

You made the right decision dropping that final nap on 26th May when she wasn’t settling by 6:00pm. Some days there simply isn’t enough time to fit in that last nap and still have a proper bedtime. When this happens, moving bedtime earlier is exactly what you should do. I’d suggest keeping track of how often you need to skip this nap – if it’s happening regularly, it might mean she’s ready to drop it completely and have an earlier bedtime.

The 30-40 minute wake-up after she first goes to sleep is a bit unusual, since usually that first stretch is the longest sleep of the night. These brief wake-ups often happen when babies haven’t been awake long enough before bedtime to build up enough sleep pressure. Essentially they’re tired enough to fall asleep, but not tired enough to stay asleep. So it is very possible that a longer wake window before bedtime could eliminate those 30 – 40 minute wake-ups.

Another potential cause for these 30-40 minute wake-ups could be external disturbances as she transitions between sleep cycles. Consider whether you or anyone else might be moving around the bedroom or using an adjacent bathroom around this time. If you do have to enter the room around this time, have a quick look at the baby monitor and make sure that she’s completely still before entering the room. If she isn’t moving it indicates she is in deep sleep and she’s unlikely to wake. If she is moving around or making sounds it suggests she’s transitioning between cycles or in REM sleep and more likely to be disturbed.

It’s great that she is sleeping for longer stretches overnight! It is still very likely that her sleep has matured, as sleep cycles in the day are short (between 30- 45 minutes) and sleep cycles overnight are longer (between 60 – 90 minutes).

The regular 7:00-7:30am wake-up time has definitely helped make her first nap more consistent. You’re right that when this first nap varies in length, it changes the timing of all her other naps. If you want to make the day more predictable, you could wake her after two hours of that first nap. I know you weren’t keen on this idea last week, but it would make her second nap much more predictable. Of course, if you’re happy with how things are now, that’s fine too.

As you have noticed wake windows do change depending on the length and quality of the previous nap. Given that she is finding it harder to fall asleep following a 1 1/2 wake window then you could go back to following her sleepy cues.

It sounds like she is becoming more aware of her surroundings and this is making it more challenging for her to fall asleep out and about. That is very normal for this age. But as you have noticed when she is tired enough she will eventually fall asleep when she is outside.

Since she’s waking when you move her from your arms onto the bed, the most effective solution is to help her fall asleep directly on the bed using the settling pyramid.

If you’re comfortable giving this a try, I recommend starting at bedtime because her circadian rhythm and sleep pressure naturally make it easier to fall asleep then. You can also try it during her first nap of the day, as babies generally settle more easily at this time. Just keep in mind, the first nap might be shorter initially, which is completely normal—it simply means you’ll need to adjust the timing of her subsequent naps slightly.

How do you feel about giving this a try?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

Thanks so much for updating me on Maxi’s nap schedule!

I have a couple more questions:

• When Maxi is sleeping, do you notice if his legs seem restless, moving constantly?

• Have you found that the 2-hour wake window helps Maxi settle quicker at bedtime and reduces his waking 30 minutes after being placed in the co-sleeper?

If you haven’t noticed improvement, it likely means Maxi is waking between sleep cycles and calling out for you because he’s used to sleeping on your chest.

It’s fantastic you’re starting to settle him while standing still before transferring him to the co-sleeper.

You mentioned you haven’t yet been able to lay him in the co-sleeper and use the settle pyramid. What I’m wondering is if Maxi would tolerate it better if you modified it a little, so that as soon as you place him in the co-sleeper you immediately start at the top and then work your way down. So it would look like this:

• After singing the lullaby, gently place Maxi in the co-sleeper and immediately offer physical comfort and shushing. But instead of patting, gently rock him side-to-side while he’s lying down. You can see me demonstrate this at 11:13 in the video “Live Example: Helping Your Baby Fall Asleep.” I just think Maxi might prefer the rocking motion to the patting based on what you have said.

• When he calms down, gradually slow your rocking while continuing to shush.

• If he remains calm, stop rocking but keep shushing, staying in his line of sight.

• If he continues to stay calm, keep shushing but gradually move out of his sight.

If Maxi becomes upset when you stop rocking, just rock him to sleep while he’s lying down in the co-sleeper for the next 3 nights. Then once he gets familiar with this new way of settling to sleep, see if you can gradually slow down the rocking and just let him fall asleep with your hand on his chest. Then after a few nights of that, aim to remove your hand before he falls asleep. Then eventually move out of his line of sight before he falls asleep.

For this approach to work well, it’s essential Maxi doesn’t fall asleep during the final bedtime feed, though I know this can be challenging. Here are some tips to help:

• Keep the lights on in the room that you are feeding him in.
• Pay close attention to how often he is swallowing during that feed. If you notice that he is sucking but not swallowing every 3 – 4 sucks then that’s a sign that he is falling asleep or already asleep. If he has fallen asleep then it is going to be very hard to use the modified settling pyramid, as that sleep pressure would be lower (even if it was a very short nap). If he falls asleep while feeding just lay him down in the co-sleeper asleep. But if you catch him before he falls asleep, reposition him to wake him back up if you feel like he needs more milk. But if you feel like he doesn’t need more then stop the feed and finish the rest of the bedtime routine.

Another thing you can do to increase the chances of the modified settling pyramid working is tweaking his bedtime routine slightly, so that he continues to remain in that relaxed state after his final feed. So it would look like this:

• As he gets drowsy, keep the lights bright and play your Disney lullaby.
• Change his diaper, put on PJs and sleeping bag.
• Offer a final feed before bed—making sure he stays awake
• Walk into the bedroom, turn on the white-noise machine
• +/- Read one short book together. (if this wakes him up I would think about skipping the reading for now).
• Sing your lullaby while gently rocking him side to side.
• Lay him down in the crib and apply the modified settling pyramid.

Lastly, I just wanted to reassure you that if Maxi cries when placed in the co-sleeper but pauses between cries, he’s just saying ‘Hey this is new’. It can be tough to hear, but he’s okay, especially as you’re right there offering comfort. Just give him a few minutes to settle into this new way of falling asleep. However, if he is crying continuously without breaks, pick him up and comfort him immediately.

Does this sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Wow Livia that is huge!

I am so excited for you both!

She would be so much happier now and it really sounds like she is doing so well with settling in the crib.

I hope the flight goes smoothly and you enjoy your family time!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Holly,

Firstly, I just want to say you’re doing an amazing job. I know it’s a lot to figure out, especially with all the suggestions I’m giving you – it can definitely feel overwhelming!

The good news is you’ve already made fantastic progress: you’ve managed to fade out rocking Zoey to sleep, she’s waking less frequently at the start of the night and overnight, and she’s less resistant to her crib. These are huge wins!

Regarding Zoey’s first nap of the day, something you might find helpful is noting down the exact time she falls asleep in your arms for a few days. If you notice she’s consistently falling asleep later than you expect, it could mean she needs a slightly longer wake window in the morning. If that’s the case, try putting her down for her first nap at this new, adjusted time and see if that helps her settle more easily.

Also, if offering a contact nap once or twice a day works well for both of you, it’s completely okay to keep doing that. Just continue practicing using the settling pyramid at bedtime and for that first nap to gradually build her independence.

In regards to bedtime, I hope you’re having more success with Zoey falling asleep while you’re out of the room. But if you’re not and you find that both of you are getting distressed, there’s another gentle option you could try. You mentioned Zoey fell asleep twice while you were lying on the floor, so you could adapt that idea. Here’s how it would work:

• Place a dining chair beside Zoey’s crib.
• Complete Zoey’s bedtime routine
• Lay her in her crib and immediately start patting her if she is upset and trying to stand up (if you can, sit on the chair while doing this)
• Once she is calm, stop patting her and continue shushing while you sit on the chair
• Gradually stop shushing so that she falls asleep with just the white noise on.
• Repeat this for the next 2 nights. leaving the chair where it is.
• If she is falling asleep while you’re sitting on the chair – move the chair slightly closer to the bedroom door and follow the same approach, moving down the settling pyramid while you sit on the chair.
• Repeat this for the next 2 nights. leaving the chair where it is.
• Then if she is managing this well, on night 7 move the chair slightly closer to the bedroom door and then repeat the usual routine. The aim is to move the chair every 2- 3 days so that eventually the chair and you are outside the bedroom.

If you feel like this approach might work better, I just want you to keep in mind it may take a few weeks to fully transition out of the room. Additionally, those early-morning wakes at around 2 am and 4 am might continue until Zoey can consistently fall asleep without your presence in the room.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

It’s great that you’ve started reducing your movement when Maxi falls asleep in your arms at bedtime – this is a fantastic first step!

To help you have more success settling him to sleep in the crib (for both naps and bedtime), could you please update me on Maxi’s current sleep schedule? Specifically:

• What time does he typically wake up in the morning?

• When does he take his naps, and what time does he usually wake from these naps?

• What time is his bedtime currently?

It’s been just over a month since we last discussed Maxi’s nap timings, and since babies’ sleep needs change so rapidly during their first year, an update would really help.

I appreciate you providing these details again – I just want to make sure we’re setting you up for success!

Thanks so much,
Emma