Emma H
Forum Replies Created
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Hey Emily!
First of all, it sounds like you’ve been doing such an amazing job with your little one – you’ve clearly put so much thought and effort into helping her. It’s so good to hear that she’s going so well with her motor skills too.
Some babies just really aren’t fans of sleeping on their tummy, and it sounds like you’ve tried so hard to persist with this, so please don’t feel disheartened.
I’ll definitely be able to give you some suggestions, but I’d love to ask a few questions first so I can give you the best possible advice for your situation:
- You mentioned she has a consistent wake-up time, which is fantastic! Can you let me know how many naps is she currently having, and how long these naps are? I’m particularly interested in how long she’s staying asleep if she’s having a contact nap on you, and if she is having contact naps on you, how often she is contact napping on you during the day?
- Do you know how long she is generally staying awake between naps?
- Have you been able to follow the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day?
- You mentioned you’ve got a consistent routine for naps and bedtime, would you mind stepping me through what your nap routine looks like, and what your bedtime routine looks like?
- How are you currently settling her to sleep for naps and for bedtime? For example, are you standing and rocking her in your arms until she’s asleep and then trying to put her in the bassinet? Have you tried the settling pyramid? Or are you rocking her to sleep and then continuing to hold her?
- Is she using a pacifier at all?
- You mentioned you had her ready for bed at 8:30pm and she didn’t settle until 11pm – I just want to make sure I understand what’s happening here so I can help. Did she fall asleep at 8:30pm after your bedtime routine and settling, but then continued to wake every 30-40 minutes (or every 90 minutes) until 11pm, at which point she had a longer stretch of sleep? Or do you mean you had to hold her in your arms until 11pm and then put her to bed when you went to bed?
- You mentioned contact naps are happening when the bassinet naps aren’t working – am I right in assuming she’s having bassinet naps most of the time during the day? Or are you holding her for most of her naps?
A quick note on swaddling: It’s absolutely fine that she doesn’t like to be swaddled – every baby is different! And considering she’s rolling from her tummy to her back, I’d actually recommend steering clear of swaddling at this point anyway, so you’re doing the right thing there.
A bit of reassurance on catnaps: It’s really, really common for bubs around three months of age (that 12-week mark) to start having catnaps – those short 30 to 45-minute naps. I know it can feel frustrating when you try to resettle them and it just doesn’t work, but please know this is completely normal and you’re not doing anything wrong!
Often the solution is teaching them how to fall asleep on their own, so that when they develop the ability to consolidate sleep cycles (which generally happens around five to six months of age), they’ll automatically start extending their naps and they’ll gradually lengthen.
One thing parents often notice is that when they contact nap, their little one sleeps for longer. This is often because when our babies are napping on us, we tend to move around when they start to stir between sleep cycles, and we kind of lull them back into sleep – which isn’t something you can do in the bassinet. Something to keep in mind is that if contact naps become really long, that can sometimes affect bedtime sleep. But we can chat more about this once I know a bit more about your routine!
Sorry for all the questions.
Emma
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Hi Georgia,
Congratulations on the arrival of your little one! Although he’s a bit distressed at times, I really hope you’re getting lots of newborn cuddles.❤️
In those early weeks, it can be really challenging to read your baby’s cues and it’s completely normal for newborns to get upset quite quickly. What you’re looking for is that your little one has calm, content periods throughout the day. So for example, after a feed, he should be quite settled (sometimes called “milk drunk”) where he’s relaxed, chilled, and often drifts off to sleep.
If your little one seems distressed all the time – so there are no calm moments, he’s not settled after feeds, and he’s constantly grunting, moving his legs, or looking like he’s in pain – that’s worth discussing with your paediatrician just to rule out any underlying cause. But if you’re noticing calm periods during the day, that’s a really good sign!
Something to consider – swaddling: If you’re not already using one, a swaddle can really help with transferring him from your arms into the crib without waking him. So it might look a little like this:
- Unswaddle when he wakes for a feed
- Feed him
- Change his nappy (this helps wake him slightly)
- Swaddle him again
- Feed once more until he falls asleep
- Transfer to the crib – because he’s already swaddled, he’s much more likely to stay asleep
In the course, there’s a lesson on how to read your little one’s cues and a printable PDF that goes with that. I’m not sure if you’ve already watched this lesson but if not the lesson is called: How to Read Your Baby’s Cues To Know Exactly When It’s Sleep Time
I hope that helps!
Emma
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Hi Kannamon,
Your little one has made fantastic progress – going from 1.7kg to 5.5kg shows he’s feeding really well!
At 6 weeks corrected age, I wouldn’t worry about trying to shift or manipulate his sleep patterns just yet. His sleep is still largely driven by feeding needs rather than any predictable schedule, and what you’re describing sounds age appropriate.
One thing you can start now: Wake him consistently each morning within a 30-minute window (e.g., between 7:00-7:30am). This helps support the maturation of his circadian rhythm, which will naturally encourage longer stretches of overnight sleep as he develops.
Regarding that late afternoon nap: You could try waking him around 6pm, but he may not be happy about it or might simply refuse to wake. If that’s the case, I’d encourage you to leave it for now and revisit in a few weeks. What typically happens is that first stretch of nighttime sleep gradually lengthens on its own as his circadian rhythm matures.
Does that make sense?
Emma
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Hi Laura,
Before I give you some suggestions, I have a few questions. When you have time, could you please answer the questions below?
- Does your little one have a consistent wake-up time in the morning? If so, what time is it?
- Does your little one use a pacifier?
- What is your little one’s nap schedule and how long does she nap for?
- Can you step me through how you settle her to sleep for her naps – so what her nap routine is and then if you lay her down in the crib and she falls asleep on her own or if you use the settling pyramid?
- Can you also step me through the bedtime routine, including where you do each step in the house?
- What time is her bedtime?
- Have you been able to track what time she tends to fall asleep and stay asleep at nighttime – so for that first big stretch of sleep? If not, would you be happy to record the time she wakes up from her final nap of the day and the time that she falls asleep and stays asleep at bedtime for a few days? This will help us identify what her true bedtime or final wake window might be.
- Does she room share with you or anyone else? If she does, what time do those people enter the room to go to bed?
- Is there a bathroom or anything noisy in the room right next to the bedroom which might be causing her to wake up at the beginning of the night?
- Is her bedroom cool, dark (so dark you wouldn’t be able to see your hand if you held it in front of your face) and free of sudden loud noises?
- Have you been able to start following the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day?
Sorry again for all the questions!
Emma
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Hi Ginger,
Welcome, and huge congratulations on the arrival of your little one! It sounds like it might have been stressful at the beginning with NICU, but I hope things are more stable for you all now.
It’s great that you’ve already started a nap and bedtime routine and created the ideal sleep environment for your little one.
Before I give some advice, I just have a few questions:
Gas discomfort You mentioned she appears to have gas discomfort. I’m wanting to check whether after a feed she’s generally content, or if she has moments during the day where she seems comfortable and not in pain. Typically, babies might be a little uncomfortable at times or fussy, but following a feed they tend to be content and easy to settle to sleep (often called “milk drunk”). Is your little one like that, or would you say she always appears uncomfortable, squirming, or restless?
Swaddle In regards to the swaddle, are her arms up or down?
Falling asleep during feeds You mentioned she goes for long stretches before sleeping. Often what happens is babies fall asleep while eating (very normal at this age but also tricky to spot). When they’ve fallen asleep, they continue to suck but don’t swallow as often, so it can be really difficult to pick up on. Do you think this might be happening with your little one?
Also, when you feed her during the day, are you unswaddling her and changing her nappy mid-feed to keep her more alert and potentially have a fuller feed?
Wake windows Given that she’s 6 weeks, have you noticed that she is starting to stay awake after some feeds and therefore able to do the wake, feed, play, sleep routine?
Wake up time Does she have a consistent wake-up time? If so, would you be happy to let me know what time this is?
Settling method You mentioned you’re settling her to sleep in your arms. Just wanting to check, are you rocking her to sleep, or stopping the rocking so that she falls asleep while you’re standing still?
Sorry for the questions!
Emma -
No worries at all!
Let me know how you go.
Emma
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Hi Catherin,
It’s fantastic that your little one is now sleeping through – and exciting that you’re moving her into her own room! Doing it over a weekend is a good idea. To make this transition as smooth as possible there are a few things that you can do:
Set up the room: Make sure the new environment is as similar as possible to her current setup – same level of darkness, same temperature, and if you’re using white noise, bring that machine with her.
Do the transition at bedtime: Sleep pressure and her circadian rhythm are strongest at this time, which often makes it an easier first step. Then move all naps into the new room from the following day.
If she wakes early in the night: Continue with whatever you’re currently doing to resettle her. Keeping things consistent during the transition means one less change for her to adjust to. After about a week once she’s settled, you can then look at having your husband go in instead.
If she wakes in the middle of the night: Since you’ve already dropped overnight feeds, avoid feeding her if you go in – you don’t want to re-establish that feed-to-sleep association. This can be tricky because she’ll likely want it and can smell the milk on you. Having your husband resettle her may be the better option in this situation.
I hope that helps!
Emma
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Hi Francesca,
It’s great that you’ve been able to work out a routine that works for your little one!
Corrected age for sleep
You mentioned she seems a bit ahead developmentally – smiling, cooing, and interacting a lot – which is wonderful to see! These are all great signs. Smiling can happen anywhere from 4 weeks of age, and cooing typically starts around 6 to 8 weeks, so she’s doing beautifully.
When it comes to development and sleep though, we do still go on her corrected age. This just helps us set realistic expectations for what she’s ready for, and means we’re not asking too much of her too soon.
Catnaps are normal
In the course, I mention that babies tend to start having catnaps somewhere between 3–5 months when their sleep matures. But in the newborn phase, it’s also very normal for them to have short naps. In fact, naps as short as 20 minutes are very normal at this age.
So those 35 minutes naps in the hammock are very normal.
If you were to offer all naps in the hammock or a crib, then what would likely happen is the majority of her naps may be 35 minutes in length, but she might have a longer one every now and then. But to accommodate those shorter naps, she will have more naps throughout the day. So it might be as many as five to six naps.
Working on crib sleep
You can definitely start supporting her to learn how to fall asleep in the crib now. I agree that working on it at night is often easier, but you can also work on it during the day. If you do want to start working on crib naps during the day, I recommend starting with the first nap of the day, as babies tend to find it easier to fall asleep for that one. You’ll notice that as the day goes on, naps get harder and that might be when you want to do some more contact napping.
If you’d like help with this, could you outline your pre-sleep routine for naps and bedtime? Then we can look at how to tweak it so you can start laying her down in the crib, and what to do from there.
A note on hammocks with motors
It sounds like the hammock with the motor is working well for you at the moment! I just wanted to share a few things to keep in mind. Some hammocks do put babies on a bit of an incline, and due to potential safety risks, they’re not recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics or Red Nose Australia – so they’re not something I would typically suggest.
The other thing to be aware of is that the motor component means your baby gets used to rocking, which might help her fall asleep independently now, but she can start to depend on that motion. When you move her to the crib, it can make the transition a bit more challenging because she’ll need to get used to falling asleep without movement.
Does that make sense?
Emma
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Hi Laura,
Thank you so much for answering my questions!
It sounds like your little one already has a really strong start to her day with a consistent 7:00 AM wake time, which is great because predictable mornings help regulate her internal body clock.
To reduce the likelihood that she will wake up 40 minutes after you put her down at bedtime, here are a few things that I would suggest, which I’ve just outlined below.
Extend the bedtime routine
The first thing you can try is extending her bedtime routine so that you’re giving her more wind-down time. This may mean that she’s going to be more likely to be tired at bedtime and fall asleep and then stay asleep. The way you would do this is just you would do your normal routine, but just tweak the lst part of the routine in her bedroom so that she has a longer wind-down time. So it might look a little like this:
- Walk into her bedroom
- Turn the white noise machine on
- Dim the lights
- Place her in a sleeping bag
- If storytime is something you normally do, read the book or if you’re using audio stories, then you would play them now
- After the book is finished gently rock her in your arms as you sing a lullaby
- Then lay her down in the crib
- If you’re using the audio story, then you can turn it back on at this point
Keep Her Awake During the Last Feed:
It’s really important that she doesn’t fall asleep during this feed because if she does, it lowers her sleep pressure at bedtime. This might mean she falls asleep initially but then wakes 40 minutes later because she’s not tired enough to stay asleep.
So, to reduce the chances of her falling asleep, there are two things you can do:
1. Continue to feed her in the lounge room and keep the lights on and the environment busy as this stimulation will help to keep her awake for that final feed
2. Watch her sucking pattern closely – if it slows down, it indicates she’s drifting off to sleep. Stop the feed at that point, hold her upright or change her nappy to re-wake her, then finish the feed if you want to make sure she has a really full feed before bed. If you think she’s had enough, just stop the feed there.
Consider Removing The Dummy
For some babies, dummies help them fall asleep, but they can also cause short naps (40 minutes) and bedtime false starts. This happens because when the dummy falls out during sleep, your baby briefly wakes between sleep cycles and then fully wakes because the thing she used to fall asleep is no longer there. Removing the dummy might help her stay asleep at bedtime and also result in longer naps. If you’re willing to try this, here are two options:
– Option 1: Remove It Before Sleep
Use the dummy during the nap and bedtime routine
When you lay her in the crib, either take it out straight away, or keep it in but as she’s drifting off:
Place your little finger between the corner of her mouth and the dummy
Break the suction gently and remove it:
If she stays calm and falls asleep, that’s great!
If she wakes and cries when you remove it, it suggests you might need to go with option 2.
– Option 2: Go Dummy-Free
If she wakes when the dummy is removed, skip the dummy at bedtime entirely and use the Settling Pyramid instead to help her fall asleep.
Wake Windows
Make sure you’re capping that final nap so she wakes at 5:00 PM for a 7:30 PM bedtime (2.5 hour wake window). If she’s still waking 40 minutes after bedtime, try extending that final wake window to 2 hours and 45 minutes, so bedtime moves to 7:45 PM.
Does this sound doable?
Emma
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Hi Mario,
You’re absolutely right, you don’t need to bath your little one every day. Some babies actually benefit from less frequent bathing, particularly if they have skin conditions like eczema. So if you feel comfortable with this or it describes your little one, bathing every few days is perfectly fine.
Regardless of how often you decide to bath, you can choose what works best for your family. You could bath during the day outside of the bedtime routine, or include it at the beginning of your bedtime routine. If you include it in the bedtime routine, it might look like this:
- Bath
- PJs on
- Feed
- Walk into the bedroom
- Sleeping bag on
- Lights off and white noise machine on
- Lullaby
- Laying her down in the crib and using the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep
Does this make sense?
Emma
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Hi Pilar,
Being a new mum (or even 3 kids in!) can definitely feel isolating at times and overwhelming, so I am so glad you’ve found the forum helpful. Hopefully, it’s helping to make you feel a little less isolated.
Let me know how you go with breaking the association at night.
Emma
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Hi Ginger,
No worries about asking questions, I’m always happy to answer them and brainstorm better solutions for your little one. You’ll find the answers below.
Early wake-ups: If she wakes at 6:45am, since she’s only waking 15 minutes before your target time, I’d just get her up, take her out to the living room, turn on the lights, feed her and start your day. What you can do is keep an eye on her natural wake-up pattern over the next week or so. You might find that 7-7:30am is too late for her and she’d actually do better with a 6:30-7am wake-up time.
Full feeds: When you feed her and she appears done, then you play with her, if she starts shaking her head and appearing hungry again after she’s been awake for 45 minutes or more, she might actually be telling you she’s tired and needs a nap rather than another feed. She could also just be bored and needs a change of activity. In these situations, try changing up the activity first and see if she settles. If not, start her nap routine and settle her to sleep.
At her age it’s really common for babies to fall asleep while feeding for some feeds. If she does fall asleep, you can break the seal by gently sliding your little finger between her mouth and your nipple. If she starts to root or open her eyes, she’s awake and wants more. But if her eyes stay closed or heavy, try rocking her in your arms to help her drift back off.
If she falls asleep in your arms, try laying her down in the crib once she’s in deep sleep. You’ll know she’s in deep sleep because her body becomes completely still, her breathing slows down, and her eyes stop fluttering underneath her eyelids. When you lay her down, lower her so her legs touch the mattress first, then her bottom, then finally her head. Very slowly slide your hands out from behind her head and bottom. If she starts to stir, place your hand on her arms and legs to dampen those movements. For some babies, this approach helps them continue sleeping.
Settling pyramid timing: I just wanted to check if you’re referring to bedtime or both bedtime and naps? If she’s waking frequently when you lay her down at bedtime and doesn’t actually stay asleep until an hour or more later, this pattern could suggest her bedtime is too early. If that’s the case, for the next 4 days record the time she actually falls asleep and stays asleep at nighttime. This will help you identify her true bedtime.
If you’re referring to naps, it could suggest she isn’t tired enough yet. She might be tired enough to initially fall asleep but not stay asleep, which would indicate you might need to extend her wake windows.
In previous messages, you mentioned she’s starting to stay awake following feeds during the day. I was wondering if she’s still waking frequently when you lay her down for naps with gas pain? Since the feed is happening a while before nap time now, I’m hoping you might have noticed a change.
Gas and getting back on track: You mentioned she’s sometimes unsettled for an hour or more and then happy once she’s pooped. I just wanted to recheck – can you lay her on the ground under a play gym when she’s awake and fed, or do you have to hold her the whole time she’s awake and then to settle her to sleep? Is this pattern of her getting really bothered happening after every feed or just once a day (and if it’s once a day, what time does it happen)?
When she’s in pain from gas, do what you need to do to get through it. But if she had a full feed not long ago, I’d try to settle her in other ways than feeding. When babies feed, the gastro-colic reflex is triggered, which causes the colon to contract and move poop along to make room for more food. This could just trigger the discomfort all over again.
Once she’s settled and the discomfort has passed, look at the clock and determine where you are in your cycle. If she’s due for a nap, offer her a nap. If she just woke from a nap, start the next wake window following the wake, feed, play, sleep routine if possible.
For gas wake-ups during sleep, you can try the settling pyramid, but it might not work because the small amount of sleep she had has reduced some of the sleep pressure – she isn’t as tired anymore. You tend to get the most success with the settling pyramid if they haven’t accidentally fallen asleep or just woken from a short nap. If she starts to protest with the settling pyramid, you can climb it and pick her up, then try to rock her back to sleep in your arms (again trying to reduce the amount of rocking so she falls asleep while you’re standing still). If after 15 minutes of rocking she’s still awake, just start the next wake window.
Does this help clarify things?
Emma
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Hi Pilar,
That’s fantastic news about the crib naps – well done! You’re doing an amazing job working through all of this.
At her age, it’s often easier to break the feeding to sleep routine at bedtime, as you have sleep pressure and the circadian rhythm working together to encourage her to fall asleep. So you could definitely just start with the bedtime routine first.
The fact that she’s only taking 2-3 minutes to fall asleep after a feed is actually really positive! It shows she’s developing some independent settling skills, even if she’s still quite drowsy.
The every 3 hours during the day sounds like a solid plan, and you’re absolutely right that as you reduce feeding at sleep times, her interest in daytime feeds should increase!
Does that make sense?
Emma
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Hi Ginger,
Thanks so much for answering my additional questions.
It’s great that your little one has times during the day when she’s more content and milk drunk. If she was always unsettled and appeared to be in pain, I would have wanted you to discuss this with her paediatrician or doctor, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the case, which is wonderful.
In regards to improving her day naps and first stretch of sleep at bedtime, I have a few suggestions.
Wake her at the same time each morning
It sounds like she might be sleeping until 7am, so aim for a 30-minute wake-up window of 7-7:30am. A consistent wake-up time helps her circadian rhythm mature, which in turn makes bedtime more consistent. It also means her first nap will happen around the same time each day.
Offer a longer feed when she wakes
At the moment, it sounds like she’s having a feed when she wakes, then a short play, then showing hunger cues again, having another feed, falling asleep while feeding, and then stirring a lot when you put her down for a nap.
Instead, try combining those two feeds together at the start of her wake window. Here’s what this might look like:
- She wakes and you unwrap her and feed her
- When her sucking slows, pause the feed and change her nappy to wake her up a bit
- Burp her, then offer the feed again
- Pause again if her swallowing slows down
If she falls asleep while feeding, that’s completely fine and very much expected at this age! Just swaddle her and put her to bed.
But when she stays awake after the feed, offer her a short play and start her nap routine when she shows you tired cues (which, by the way, often look like hunger cues).
The reason for condensing the feeding to the beginning of the wake window is that it helps ensure you can settle her to sleep using the settling pyramid. At the moment, I think she’s falling asleep during the second feed, and when you lay her down some of the sleep pressure has worn off, so she’s not as tired anymore.
What you might notice is that you’re able to follow this routine for the first nap or maybe the second nap, but not all of them and this is very normal for this age. Babies often fall asleep while feeding and follow a wake-feed-sleep pattern for parts of the day.
Use the settling pyramid
When she stays awake after a feed and starts to get fussy, first try changing the activity. If she calms down, the fussing was just boredom. But if she doesn’t calm down, that’s a sign she’s tired and needs sleep, so start your nap routine.
After you’ve sung the lullaby, continue rocking her. If she remains calm, lay her down in the crib and use the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep.
If this feels like too big a step, you could use a more gradual approach where you continue to hold her until she falls asleep, but instead of rocking her until she’s asleep, you gradually stop the rocking so she falls asleep in your arms without movement. It might look like this:
- Complete your usual nap or bedtime routine
- Sing the song once while you rock her in your arms
- When the song finishes, start shushing
- Gradually slow down the rocking until you stop, while continuing to shush
- Gradually stop shushing so she falls asleep in your arms without noise or movement
By helping her learn to fall asleep without movement or noise, it’ll make it easier for her to transition to the settling pyramid when she’s ready.
Expect shorter naps
At this age, it’s very normal for naps to vary in length and be short at times. If she wakes when you transfer her into the crib, you can try to settle her back to sleep. But if she stays awake, it might be a sign that you need to start her next wake window (just expect it to be a little shorter). As she gets older, the naps should increase in length.
Period of PURPLE Crying
At 7 weeks, your little one may also be hitting the peak of the Period of PURPLE Crying. This fussy time often appears in the late afternoons and evenings and can be really confusing because babies appear tired and are hard to soothe. But something to keep in mind is that newborns can have very late bedtimes. During this fussy time, cluster feeding is common, as well as short naps.
I’m not sure if this is why your little one might be finding bedtimes challenging, but if it is, there’s a video in the course on the Period of PURPLE Crying which you might find helpful.
Do these suggestions seem possible?
Emma
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Hi Thais,
Hopefully, the long naps have stayed, as well as those later wake-ups.
Emma