[Emma H]

Hi Jessica,

Based on what you’ve described, it could be the 4-month sleep regression. However, what we typically see when it is the regression is that the night wakes are very predictable, for example they consistently wake every 2-3 hours. You could literally set a timer on your phone and when it goes off, they’ll wake up!

Since these challenges have happened so suddenly and she was able to self settle, I’m actually leaning more towards one of these other possibilities:

1. Her wake windows might need lengthening and/or her naps may need capping

To help me work out if this is the case, could you let me know:

• What time she wakes in the morning?
• What time does each nap start and how long does each one last?
• How many naps is she having?
• What time does she fall asleep at night?

2. She might be in pain or getting sick

What we tend to see when this is the cause is that the overnight wakes are unpredictable, so for example she might wake after 3 hours, then 2 hours later, then 30 minutes, then 50 minutes, and so on. Is this the pattern you’re seeing with your little one?

Once I know a bit more, I’ll be able to give you some more specific advice.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Michaela,

It sounds like your little one might be experiencing the 4-month regression, which can happen anywhere from 3 to 5 months of age. It’s not really a regression though, it’s actually a progression. Their sleep cycles have matured, and now they’re cycling through 4 sleep cycles instead of the 2 they had during the newborn stage. Because of this, they often wake between sleep cycles, which is why you’re seeing those shorter naps in the bassinet.

I was wondering if you could walk me through some of the things you’ve tried from the course? Specifically, If you’ve had a chance to watch the video on the 4-month regression? I’d love to hear what you’ve implemented so we can work out which strategies might need tweaking.

And just a quick note on why your little one sleeps longer in the carrier, when they wake between sleep cycles, we naturally lull them back to sleep by recreating some movement or noise or anything just to help them fall back to sleep. That’s why they’re able to have those longer stretches when they’re on you!

Looking forward to hearing more so we can figure this out together.

Emma

[Emma H]

Fantastic. Looking forward to hearing how this week goes!

[Emma H]

Hi Ashlee,

Firstly, congratulations on the arrival of your little one!❤️

Thank you so much for all that detail. Before I answer your questions, I just wanted to touch on a few things and ask you some follow-up questions so I can give you the best advice.

Overtired vs Under-tired

A quick way to tell the difference: when a baby is overtired, they might be fussy, but once you take them into a dark room with limited stimulation, they usually settle and fall asleep. If you do the same thing and they just won’t sleep, they’re likely under-tired or fussy for another reason.

The Period of Purple Crying

You mentioned his bedtime has been getting a bit earlier, which is great! The fussiness you’re seeing in the late afternoon and evening could actually be related to the Period of Purple Crying, which typically peaks around 6–8 weeks (or 9–11 weeks for bubs born a bit early like yours). During this phase, babies often become unsettled in the late afternoon and evening and can be really hard to settle. I do cover this in the course, so if you haven’t watched that video yet, it might be worth a look!

Could There Be Some Discomfort?

You mentioned your little one is fussy and squirmy all night, both on you and on your husband. While you said he’s happy during the day, all that nighttime squirming does make me wonder if there could be some discomfort going on.

Here’s what we’d typically expect to see with a settled newborn:

• At night: They wake, have a feed, and then drift back to sleep fairly easily.
• During the day: They might wake a little fussy (because they’re hungry), have a feed, stay awake for a short time where they’re happy and content, and then go back to sleep.

If your little one is fussy during feeds or still unsettled after feeds, rather than settling once he’s been fed, that can sometimes indicate discomfort, and it would be worth mentioning to your paediatrician.

I’m not sure if this sounds like what you’re experiencing, but I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Also, I was just wondering if he’s following his own weight curve? If he is, that’s a good sign he’s getting enough milk. If not, that’s another thing to mention to your paediatrician.

A Few Quick Questions

To help me give you more tailored advice, could you answer these for me?

1. Is your little one using a pacifier?
2. Are you swaddling him? If so, what swaddle are you using? If not, have you tried it?
3. Are you following a wake-feed-play-sleep routine, or more of a wake-feed-play-feed-sleep routine (where you feed him to sleep for all naps)?
4. Can you walk me through your nap routine step by step?
5. Can you also walk me through the bedtime routine?
6. For naps, is he sleeping in the bassinet, or are you needing to hold him?
7. Can you describe his sleep environment? Is it cool, dark, and quiet?
8. Overnight, when he wakes, are you feeding him for every week or just every few hours?
9. When you do need to feed him overnight, are you following the wake-feed-sleep routine, or are you needing to change his diaper because he’s pooping overnight?

Once I have a clearer picture, I’ll be able to answer your questions properly!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jessica,

Thanks for answering those questions!

Your bedtime and nap routines both sound great, and I’m glad to hear she didn’t get sick. This does make me think that stretching her wake windows is likely going to be the key here.

It sounds like she’s gotten into a pattern of waking more frequently overnight, but I think with a few adjustments, you should be able to encourage those longer stretches of sleep again.

Here’s what I’d suggest trying over the next week:

• Stretch her wake windows to 1.5 hours during the day. At 14 weeks, they can usually tolerate wake windows anywhere from 1.5 hours to 2 hours, so it might be worth just seeing how she goes with stretching her wake windows to 1.5 hours and seeing if there’s any improvements in her sleep overnight. If there’s not, then we might want to stretch her wake windows even further.
• Make that last wake window before bed slightly longer – around 1 hour and 45 minutes if you can. This can help build enough sleep pressure for a longer first stretch overnight.
• Keep her morning wake-up time consistent, within that 30-minute window (7:15–7:45am).
• Aim for that first nap to fall around 9am. Once that first nap becomes more consistent, the other naps tend to follow.
• For overnight wakes that aren’t genuine feeds, so where her eyes stay closed but she’s crying out continue to settle her back to sleep with shushing and patting. This helps her learn that those wake-ups aren’t for feeding, and over time, she’ll naturally start to drop them.

Would you be happy to give this a go for a week and see if, by the end of the week, you start noticing an improvement (fewer overnight interruptions and longer stretches of sleep)?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Catherin,

I completely understand your concerns about moving the nursing outside of the bedroom and worrying that your little one might still want to nurse. The great news is that she can already fall asleep without nursing at childcare, which shows she definitely has the skills to do it!

There are a few different approaches you could try:

Option 1: Continue as you are If none of these feel right for now, that’s okay too! You can keep going with what you’re doing and embrace those nights when she sleeps for longer stretches. The fact that she’s already had a few nights with longer sleep periods shows she will get there. Over time, you’ll likely notice she starts stringing together more of those good nights, and they’ll gradually become more consistent.

Option 2: Have your husband do the settling Your husband might find it easier to put her to bed using the gradual approach we discussed, since she won’t be expecting to nurse with him.

Option 3: Gradually reduce the sleep associations in the bedroom If you’d prefer to keep things in the bedroom, you can still use your usual routine but gradually reduce the nursing and movement, so that she falls asleep in your arms without movement and then when you’re ready you could move to using the settling pyramid. So it might look a little like this:

• Complete your usual bedtime routine and nurse her in the rocking chair, but stop the feed before she falls asleep
• Then continue rocking her in the chair while you sing a lullaby, and stop rocking when the lullaby finishes
• Then pat her while you are sitting in the rocking chair, then stop patting her so she falls asleep while you are still
• Then lay her down in the crib.

This gradual approach might feel more comfortable because you’re still using your familiar routine and rocking chair, you’re just stopping each step a little earlier. This helps her learn to fall asleep without movement or feeding.

Something else worth trying is giving her the opportunity to resettle on her own when she wakes during the first half of the night. Her childcare worker mentioned she can do this at childcare, so it’s worth giving her the chance to try at home too.

When she stirs, pause and wait before going in. Listen to what her crying sounds like:

• Cry, pause, cry, pause – This stop-start pattern usually means she’s in the process of settling herself back to sleep. Give her a few minutes to see if she drifts off.
• Crying that escalates and becomes continuous – This means she needs your help. Go in, pick her up, and rock her back to sleep in the rocking chair.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jessica,

Thanks for answering those questions! I just have a few more follow-ups to help me get a clearer picture:

Bedtime routine:

• What does her bedtime routine look like?
• How do you settle her to sleep at bedtime?

Nap routine:

• You mentioned you do a nap routine and put her down when she’s drowsy. Can you tell me what that nap routine involves?
• When you say she’s “drowsy,” is she pretty much asleep, or is she more just staring off into the distance and looking tired?

A couple of other things:

• Did she get sick at all?
• How do you think she’d cope if we tried stretching her wake windows a bit?

Around 14 weeks, wake windows do start to increase, so I’m wondering if we can gradually stretch them out a little. You’re right that six naps a day is quite a lot, but it’s tricky to drop a nap without extending those wake windows first.

Once I know a bit more about her bedtime and nap routines, we should be able to figure out a plan!

Something to try in the meantime:

When she wakes overnight and starts to cry, instead of picking her up straight away (which can sometimes rouse her fully), try this:

1. Start by just shushing her without touching her
2. If that doesn’t settle her, try patting her gently while she’s still in the cot
3. If she escalates, then pick her up and soothe her back to sleep

You might find she settles back to sleep without needing to be picked up, which can help her learn to resettle more easily.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Catherin,

Thanks for answering all my questions! Based on what you’ve shared, I’ve got a few suggestions:

1. Room Temperature & What She’s Wearing

You mentioned her bedroom is significantly cooler than yours. A cooler room is generally better for sleep, but it does mean you might need to tweak what she’s wearing at bedtime to make sure she’s warm enough. Just something to keep in mind as you settle into the new space!

2. Understanding Why She’s Waking So Often

From what you’ve described, the frequent wake-ups are most likely due to a sleep association rather than the new bedroom itself. Here’s what I mean:

When babies are nursed to sleep, they fall asleep while feeding. Then, when they naturally wake between sleep cycles overnight (which happens at regular intervals for all of us!), they look for whatever helped them fall asleep in the first place. For your little one, that’s nursing.

Think of it like this: imagine you always fall asleep with a particular pillow. If someone took that pillow away while you were sleeping, you’d wake up and start looking for it. That’s essentially what’s happening with your daughter. She wakes between sleep cycles, realises she’s not nursing anymore, and calls out for you to help her get back to sleep.

The fact that her wake-ups are consistent and predictable is a strong sign that she’s waking between sleep cycles and seeking out that nursing association.

How to Gently Move Away from Nursing to Sleep

The goal here is to gradually teach her how to fall asleep without nursing, so that when she wakes between sleep cycles, she can resettle on her own.

First, find out what daycare does. Since they’re obviously not nursing her to sleep, it would be really helpful to touch base with them and find out what they’re using to help her fall asleep. This might give you some useful ideas!

Next, move the nursing outside the bedroom. You can absolutely keep nursing as part of your bedtime routine, but I’d suggest doing it in a brightly lit room rather than in her bedroom. This helps separate the feeding from the falling asleep part.

While she’s nursing, try to keep her awake. If her sucking slows down, it’s a sign she’s drifting off, which is something you want to avoid. If she falls asleep during the feed, it reduces her sleep pressure, which can actually make it harder for her to fall asleep when you put her in bed.

Then, move into her bedroom for the rest of the routine. Once nursing is done, go into her room, pop her sleeping bag on, read her books, and then stand up and sing a lullaby while rocking her gently in your arms. Once you finish singing the lullaby, you would then put her in the cot before she’s fully asleep and use the settling pyramid to help her drift off to sleep.

If that feels like too big a jump, you can take a more gradual approach:

• Instead of laying her down in the crib once that lullaby is finished, you would continue to hold her in your arms and just continue rocking her.
• Then, as she remains calm, you would stop the rocking and start patting her and shushing.
• Then you would stop patting and continue shushing.
• Then you would stop shushing, so she falls asleep without any movement.
• Once she’s mastered that, you can move to using the settling pyramid.

Why This Will Help with Night Wakings

Once your little one learns how to fall asleep on her own without movement, those night wakings will naturally decrease. She’ll know how to resettle herself, so she’s much less likely to fully wake between sleep cycles. And if she does wake, she’ll have the skills to get herself back to sleep without needing you to nurse her.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

When toddlers drop to one nap, the first wake window is typically shorter than the second. But in general, a wake window can be anywhere from 4 to 6 hours. So, typically shorter on the first wake window and then longer for the second wake window.

For example:

• Wake at 7:30am
• Nap at 12pm (4.5-hour wake window)
• Wake at 2pm (2-hour nap)
• Bedtime at 7pm (5-hour wake window)

At this age, it can take a little while to fall asleep. Typically, toddlers fall asleep within 20 minutes, but if Ro is taking around 30 minutes and is happy and content in the bedroom (not crying the whole time), then he could just need a little bit longer to wind down and then fall asleep, which is perfectly fine! But, if he’s in there for that 30 minutes and he’s crying all the time, then it means we need to tweak his schedule. Also, if he is consistently taking closer to 70 minutes to fall asleep, it indicates that we do need to tweak his schedule a little bit.

Here’s what I’d suggest:

For the next week, write down when he wakes from his nap and when he actually falls asleep at night (not when you put him to bed). The difference between these two times is his natural final wake window, and knowing this will help us figure out the best schedule for him.

I know you mentioned that a 4.5-hour wake window at the end of the day seemed to work well, but it sounds like this might have shifted slightly over the last few weeks if he’s now staying awake longer at bedtime.

A few questions that will help me figure out the best schedule:

1. If you didn’t cap his nap at 2 hours, would he sleep longer? And if so, how long would he naturally sleep for?
2. For the week that you record, can you tell me the times that he is actually falling asleep at night (not just when you put him to bed)?

Why I’d like you to track his sleep this week:

Once you’ve tracked his sleep for a few days (keeping wake-up time consistent at 7am), it will help me figure out the best schedule for him.

Here’s what I’m trying to work out:

If his ideal final wake window is 4.5 hours and we’re aiming for a bedtime around 7:45-8pm, he’d need to wake from his nap between 3-3:15pm. But if he’s only napping for 2 hours, that means we’d need to offer his nap at 1pm, which stretches that first wake window to 6 hours. That’s quite long for an 18-month-old!

So by tracking his sleep, I’m hoping we can:

1. Confirm his ideal final wake window – It might be slightly longer or shorter than 4.5 hours now.
2. Find out if he’d naturally sleep longer than 2 hours – If he would, we could offer his nap earlier than 1pm, which would shorten that long morning wake window and make the day more manageable for him.

Does that make sense?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Catherin,

Happy New Year to you too! I hope you had a lovely Christmas with your family and enjoyed your time abroad.

I have a few questions that will help me figure out what might be causing these frequent overnight wake-ups. So when you have time can you please answer the questions below?

Her current daytime schedule:

• What time does she usually wake up in the morning, and is this consistent?
• What time is she having her one nap, and how long is she sleeping for?
• What time is bedtime?

Sometimes frequent overnight waking can be a sign of overtiredness, so knowing her full schedule will help me see if that might be a factor.

How she’s falling asleep:

• Previously, you were nursing her to sleep. Is that still how she’s falling asleep at bedtime, or have you changed your approach?
• Can you please step me through her bedtime routine?

The fact that she’s waking so frequently suggests she’s waking between sleep cycles. How she falls asleep at bedtime can play a big role in whether she’s able to resettle independently when she stirs overnight.

What was different when you were overseas? You mentioned that when you were abroad she slept better overnight. I am just wondering if there was there anything noticeably different (apart from sleeping in the same room with you and your husband)? For example:

• Was her wake-up time earlier or later than usual?
• Was she having two naps instead of one?
• Was bedtime later?
• Was the room darker or quieter?

Comparing the two rooms: Since she seems to sleep better when she’s in your room, it’s worth looking at whether there’s something different about her room that might be disturbing her. I’d suggest going into her room at night after she’s asleep, closing the door, and just sitting quietly for a few minutes. Have a look and listen for anything that might be waking her, things like:

• Street noise or other sounds
• Light coming in from outside or under the door
• Temperature differences (is it colder or warmer than your room?)

Also, could you please let me know how you’re settling her to sleep when she wakes overnight?

Once I know a bit more, I’ll be able to give you some tailored suggestions!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

We had a lovely Christmas with my family – hopefully you all had a fantastic one too!

I hope Rohan starts to feel better soon.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like 12:30pm is working really well for him, so there’s no need to shift it to 12pm. The main reason I sometimes suggest 12pm is that it can lead to an earlier bedtime – but as you’ve mentioned, he’s never really been one for bed before 7:30pm, and he falls asleep like clockwork at 7:45–8pm. I think you’re right to just accept that this is his natural bedtime and work with it!

In terms of nap length, you could definitely let him sleep longer if he needs it, I’d just cap it at 3 hours max. So if he goes down at 12:30pm, he’d wake by 3:30pm at the latest, giving him around 4 hours before that 7:45–8pm bedtime.

If you find that a 3-hour nap pushes bedtime back or makes settling harder (because he’s only been awake for 4 hours), you could try capping it at 2.5 hours and see if that helps him fall into a better rhythm.

One other thing to keep in mind: if the 7am wake-up is making that 12:30pm nap a bit of a fight, you could always shift back to 7:30am and see if that helps.

Unfortunately, it’s all a bit of trial and error at this stage until you work out what suits Rohan best.

Does that sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

We’ve all been going well – really looking forward to Christmas and spending some time with my extended family.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your move to Brisbane and you’re soaking up the sunshine!

It’s so great that Rohan has settled in so easily and adjusted to that huge time difference.

In terms of his sleep, the long time to fall asleep at night typically indicates he’s under-tired, but kids can also get into that pattern when they’re not getting enough sleep – so it is a bit of a confusing picture!

For the next five days, would you be happy to record the time he actually falls asleep at night?

Here’s what I’d recommend trying:

• Wake-up: 7am consistently (don’t let him sleep past this)
• Nap: 12pm–2pm (cap at 2 hours)
• Bedtime: Offer bed somewhere between 7pm and 8pm, depending on what he’s showing you

By tracking when he genuinely falls asleep at night with that consistent 7am wake-up, we’ll be able to work out what his true bedtime is – essentially, how much sleep he actually needs overnight. Going from 7pm to 7am is 12 hours, which is quite a lot when he’s also having a 2-hour day nap. So this will help us figure out how much sleep he needs in that 24-hour window, and then we can adjust everything from there.

Give this a go for the next week and let me know what you find!
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Emily and Blake,

It sounds like you’ve found the bedtime that suits your little one!

I was just wondering if you would like to shift that bedtime earlier? If so, what you can do is actually move her wake-up time slightly earlier, anywhere between 6:30 and 7:00am. I know that’s going to be hard because you’re both already a bit sleep-deprived, but it really can help.

What happens is when she wakes in the morning and you expose her to bright light, it sets her internal body clock, and this then predicts when her bedtime will be. I know it’s dark until late in the morning, but if you turn on all the lights inside, it will have the same effect. What you should notice is that all her other naps will shift earlier too, which then means bedtime will shift earlier as well. But that’s only if you want to change her bedtime.

Now, you mentioned that you’ve tried the settling pyramid I suggested, but it’s not yet working because she’s needing to fall asleep in your arms first. I’m just wondering, have you been able to try the more gradual approach? This is where you’re still settling her to sleep in your arms, but you’re slowly reducing the amount of movement you’re giving her before she falls asleep.

The other thing is with the naps. You mentioned you’ve been extending them, which is great! If her bedtime doesn’t shift forward, what we might want to do is reduce that first nap of the day (the one you’re helping to extend) down to an hour and a half instead of two hours. This will shift all the other naps earlier, which should then help bring bedtime forward too.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Francesca,

I totally understand why you’d like to have some time with your husband instead of being in bed at 8 or 8:30 (it’s so hard to get this precious time together).

A quick note on sleep noises and movement

It’s completely normal for babies to be quite noisy when they sleep, particularly during REM sleep. If you’re finding it disruptive, a couple of options that might help:

• Pop an earplug in the ear facing outward – you’ll still hear her well enough, but it dampens the noise a bit
• Move her crib slightly further away within the bedroom (though I know you’d prefer to keep her in the side crib, which is totally fine!)

When she moves towards the crib net on your side, that’s also completely normal, babies move around a lot in their sleep, and it’s not a problem at all.

Settling her to sleep at bedtime

To help your little one learn to settle in her crib, I’d recommend following your daytime nap routine but with a few tweaks. Here’s what I’m suggesting:

Step 1: Feed her in the living room with the lights on

I noticed that at night you do the feed and then the lullaby while lying next to her in the bedroom, whereas during naps you sing the lullaby while she’s in your walking around the bedroom. The change I’d suggest is having your husband do the routine (nappy change, small massage), but then feed her the bottle out in the living room where it’s brighter.

The reason for this is that feeding in a dark room often means they fall asleep during the feed and then they wake up when you transfer them. By keeping the lights on, she’s more likely to stay awake, which means she’ll be properly tired when it’s time for bed.

Step 2: Watch for signs she’s falling asleep during the feed

When babies feed while awake, you’ll hear them swallowing frequently. But when they start to drift off, that swallowing slows right down – this is your sign that she’s falling asleep.

The reason we want to avoid this is that even a very brief sleep during the feed can reduce her sleep pressure. So what can happen is she has a little micro-nap while feeding, wakes up, you finish the rest of the bedtime routine, but then when you put her down in the crib, she’s not actually tired enough to fall asleep and she fights bedtime more.

So if you notice that swallowing starting to space out, just pause the feed for a moment to keep her awake.

Step 3: Sleeping bag on, then into the bedroom

After the feed, pop her into her sleeping bag. Then walk into the bedroom and sing the same lullaby you use for naps while you close the curtains and switch on the white noise machine, and turn off the lights.

Step 4: Help her settle in the crib

When the lullaby finishes, you have two options depending on what feels manageable:

Option A – Try the settling pyramid straight away: Lay her down in her crib space and use the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep there.

Option B – Gradually reduce movement first: If going straight to the crib feels like too big a leap, you could rock her in your arms while you shush her, then gradually stop rocking so you’re just shushing and patting, then stop patting, then stop shushing – so she falls asleep without movement or noise. This helps her get used to falling asleep without movement, which will make it easier to then transition to the settling pyramid in the crib when you all feel ready.

Step 5: Track her actual bedtime

One more thing that will really help – start tracking the time she actually falls asleep each night. This tells you her true bedtime, which is the time you want to aim for when putting her down awake in the crib. If you put her down too early, she’ll fight it. But if you put her down at the time she naturally falls asleep, it’s going to be so much easier for everyone.

Does this sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Emily,

It sounds like you’re doing a lot and working as a team, which is really lovely to hear.

About the 4-month sleep regression happening at 3 months

Just in regards to your question about your little one’s sleep and the feeling that it’s regressed and that her 4-month sleep regression might be happening at 3 months – there is an element of truth to that. The 4-month sleep regression is really that progression where their sleep matures, and it can occur anywhere from 3 to 5 months of age.

So if she’s waking more regularly overnight and having those short naps, it’s very likely that her sleep has progressed and she’s now cycling through 4 sleep cycles instead of 2.

The key to lengthening those naps (and the length of time she sleeps through during the night) is helping her learn how to settle to sleep.

Here are some strategies that can help:

1. Continue to keep her wake up time consisitent.

Continue to wake her up within that 30-minute window in the morning. This will help consolidate and encourage nighttime sleep, and encourage her bedtime to become more consistent.

2. Focus on bedtime and the first nap only with the settling pyramid

I can see that the settling pyramid is quite challenging at the moment, and it might feel like too big of a leap and that’s completely okay.

If it feels like too much right now, you have the option of just doing the settling pyramid at bedtime and for that very first nap of the day. It’s usually easier to settle them to sleep for that first nap, and at bedtime you’ve got the circadian rhythm and sleep pressure working in your favour. The rest of those daytime naps get a bit harder to settle them to sleep.

So if you just want to focus on bedtime and that first nap of the day with the settling pyramid, that’s great. But if you feel like it’s still too much, then that’s also okay, you can use a more gradual approach instead.

3.Try a more gradual approach to settling

The more gradual approach I’m talking about is where you continue to bounce her in your arms, but you work towards slowing down the bouncing so that she falls asleep while you are standing completely still. This allows her to get used to falling asleep without movement, which will then make it easier to transition to the settling pyramid later.

I noticed that you’re currently feeding her to sleep as part of the routine. If you feel that she still needs a feed before nap time and bedtime, that’s okay, something you could try though is shifting that feed to earlier in the routine so it’s not the final thing you do.

So if you were to try this approach, it might look a little like this:

1. Feed her the bottle of breast milk out in the lounge room with the lights on
2. If you notice her slowing down with her feed and not sucking as much, do a nappy change mid-feed to wake her up a bit
3. Finish the feed
4. Put her in a sleep sack
5. Go into the dark room
6. Sing her a lullaby while she is lying horizontally in your arms
7. Then start shushing and bouncing her while she is lying horizontally in your arms
8. Gradually reduce the bouncing and swap it out for patting while continuing to shush
9. Stop patting and just keep shushing
10. Stop shushing completely
11. Let her fall asleep in silence without movement

Why moving the feed earlier helps: When babies are feeding, they continue to suck, but what tends to happen is they might suck and not swallow as frequently. This indicates they’re falling asleep and this is something you want to avoid, particularly for daytime naps.

If she falls asleep even for a little bit during that feed, it actually reduces some of that sleep pressure (which is the driving force for her to fall asleep at nap time). What can happen as a result is she might fight nap time even though she’s tired because she had a little nap while feeding, or she might fall asleep but then not stay asleep for long because that sleep pressure has been reduced by that very short nap she had while she ate.

So if you do need to feed her as part of the routine, try to do it in a brightly lit room where there’s lots of stimulation to keep her awake, and stop the feed as soon as you notice she’s not swallowing as often.

Tips for the transfer: As you’ve noticed, that transfer can be a little challenging. What you can do is reposition your hands while she is lying horizontally in your arms asleep, before you transfer her into the bassinet. You do this by placing one hand behind her head and the other hand behind her back and then you lower her down into the cot. Slide your hands out, and the one that’s behind her back – immediately move it to hold her arms, as this helps reduce chances that her hands will fly out to the side and wake her up.

Once you’ve done this gradual approach, you can then see if you’re ready to shift to the settling pyramid.

4. Embrace catnaps and contact naps for now

You can absolutely continue to do a contact nap if you feel like it would be beneficial and she tolerates it better having one longer nap on you.

The thing to be aware of is that bassinet naps tend to be shorter. When she’s napping on you, you’re helping her link sleep cycles because you naturally settle her into the next sleep cycle which means she has a longer nap. But when she sleeps in the bassinet, her naps will be shorter, and as a result she’ll tend to need more naps through the day. This is completely normal at this age.

What you’ll notice is that once she can fall asleep by herself, she’ll gradually start linking sleep cycles on her own, and those naps will automatically extend. We typically see this around 5-6 months, so for now you can embrace those catnaps and just offer her more naps throughout the day, if you’re happy to.

5. Track bedtime

If you’re happy to, it would be great if you could record what time her final nap ends and then what time she’s falling into that deep sleep at night. This will help us work out if her bedtime is actually a bit later than you’re currently aiming for.

The other thing to try at this point with bedtime is to feed her out in a brighter room early on in the bedtime routine so she can stay awake, and then go into the bedroom to settle her to sleep.

Does this sound okay?

Emma