[Emma H]

Hi Benjamin,

You’re right, the advice out there can be confusing!

The second piece of advice is the one that aligns with current safety guidance. The goal is to keep the sound level at your baby’s ears within a safe range, not just to limit what the machine is set to. So it’s the volume where your baby is sleeping that matters most.

The AAP recommends keeping it at or below 50 dB at the baby’s ear, while the CDC puts the limit at 60 dBA. In practice, aiming for somewhere in that 50–60 dB range is a safe target.

To check, simply open the NIOSH Sound Level Meter app on your phone, place it in your baby’s sleep space with the white noise running, and take a reading. If it’s above that range, turn the machine down until it falls within it.

As for placement, further away is always better, but honestly, don’t stress too much about the exact distance. The most important thing is that the reading at your baby’s ear stays within that safe range. If it does, you’re good! That said, positioning the machine between the noise source and your baby’s crib is a great approach when you can manage it.

Hope that clears things up!
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jessica,

It sounds like your baby’s sleep space is great in terms of being conducive to sleep, and it’s fantastic that you’ve been able to adopt a consistent wake-up time and bedtime.

Before I can give you some strategies to lengthen your little one’s naps, I have a few questions. When you have some time, can you please answer the questions below?

1. Have your little one’s naps always been 30 to 45 minutes in length, or were they around 1.5 to 2 hours, and is this a recent change? If it is a recent change, do you think she’s getting sick, or has she been sick recently?
2. Could you outline the timing of her naps, how many naps she’s currently having in the day, and the length of those naps?
3. Can you step me through what the nap and bedtime routine looks like?
4. Have you been able to follow the pattern of wake, feed, play, sleep during the day?
5. Does she use a pacifier at all?
6. You mentioned she can self-soothe, can you tell me what that looks like? Eg. After you’ve done the nap routine, do you put her in the crib and walk away, or do you put her in the crib, pop a pacifier in, and walk away or do you stay in the room.
7. Does she self soothe for bedtime and naps?
8. Is she waking during the night? If so, can you let me know what time she is waking and what you do during those wakes to get her back to sleep?
9. Is anything happening in the room/house around 4:30/5am? For example, is the sun rising at this time, is anyone getting up for work or going to the toilet etc?

Sorry for all the questions,

Emma

• This reply was modified 5 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Patrick!

It sounds like your little one has learned to fall asleep using movement, and is then relying on that same movement to link her sleep cycles.

Here’s what’s happening:

During the day, when she stirs between sleep cycles (around that 30-minute mark), you’re naturally rocking, shushing, or moving to help her resettle which links her into the next cycle.

At night, it’s a slightly different picture. Nighttime sleep cycles are longer than daytime ones, around 90 minutes compared to 30–45 minutes during the day. So when she wakes between those cycles, she needs you to recreate the movement (or pick her up) to fall back to sleep, which is why nights are more broken.

The key to longer nights is helping her learn to fall asleep without movement, and ideally fall asleep in her crib from the start of each sleep. Once she can do that, she’ll be able to resettle herself between those sleep cycles without needing you.

It’s great that you’ve already stopped the bouncer, that’s a really positive first step!

To help me point you in the right direction, could you let me know:

• What you’ve been able to try from the course so far
• What her nap routine looks like, step by step
• What her bedtime routine looks like, step by step
• How you’re currently settling her to sleep

Once I can see the full picture, we can work out exactly what to tweak!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Tatsiana,

You’re right that I generally recommend swaddling babies while they’re awake, as part of the settling routine. The reasoning is that even though they may protest at first, they usually calm down and being already swaddled makes the transfer from your arms into the cot easier. From there, you can use the Settling Pyramid to help them drift off.

That said, if rocking her to sleep and then swaddling her in deep sleep is working well for you both, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with continuing that way!

However, if you’d like to move away from rocking her to sleep, you have a couple of options:

Option 1: Switch to a sleeping bag. At around three months, a sleeping bag can work well as an alternative to the swaddle. Simply pop it on as part of her sleep routine, then use the Settling Pyramid to help her fall asleep.

Option 2: Stick with the swaddle, but change where you put it on. It’s really common for babies to protest the swaddle, as most babies don’t love being changed or handled when they’re tired! One thing that can help is to swaddle her in the living room rather than the bedroom. The extra stimulation can act as a distraction, which often reduces the tears. Once she’s calm, you can then carry her through to the bedroom to settle.

Of course, if you’re happy with what you’re doing now, that’s perfectly fine too!

I hope that helps clarify your concerns.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Erin,

It’s great to hear that you’ve been able to get your little one napping in his crib, and that you’ve picked up some helpful tips from the forum!

About the short naps

Short naps are really common at this age, anywhere around 30 minutes or less. This happens because, sometime between 3 to 5 months, your baby’s sleep matures and they start waking between sleep cycles.

They’ll usually sleep longer on you because when they start to stir, you naturally soothe them back to sleep by rocking or doing whatever helped them drift off in the first place. In the crib, they don’t have that, so they tend to wake up fully.

Short naps are absolutely fine! It just means he’ll need more naps throughout the day with shorter awake windows, which you’ve already noticed.

If you’d like to try extending his naps

Since he’s waking around the 30-minute mark, you could try going into his room at about the 20-minute mark, just before he’s likely to wake. Then, instead of picking him up, place your hand on his chest and gently rock him side to side in the crib. This mimics what you’d normally do in your arms and might help him drift into the next sleep cycle.

If it doesn’t work and he wakes up anyway, that’s okay, it just means the sleep pressure that helped him fall asleep in the first place has dropped, and he’s no longer tired enough to go back to sleep. In that case, just embrace the short nap and move on with your day.

The good news is that as he learns to self-settle, he’ll start linking those sleep cycles on his own. This typically happens somewhere between 5 to 6 months of age.

Another option to try

You could let the first nap (and maybe the second) happen in the crib, and then make the third nap a contact nap so he can get a longer stretch of sleep. This can help bridge that gap so he’s not getting too tired.

That said, if he’s doing okay with 4 to 5 short naps a day that add up to around 2 to 3 hours of total daytime sleep, then that’s totally fine!

About self-settling

Being able to fall asleep independently isn’t something we’d typically expect at this age. Some babies can do it, but that’s usually if they take a pacifier or they’re really chilled bubs.

Even babies who can self-settle for that first nap of the day often struggle with later naps, as the second, third, and fourth naps get progressively harder to settle them to sleep. So for your little one, it’s completely normal that he’s not there yet.

A few questions before I give you some next steps

To give you (and his daycare) the best recommendations, I just need to clarify a few things:

1. Morning wake time – I’m assuming from what you’ve said that he consistently wakes between 6:00 and 6:30am? Based on that, his first nap would fall around 7:30–8:00am.
2. Your nap routine – Can you walk me through exactly what this looks like? It sounds like you change his nappy, pop him in his sleep sack, turn the lights off, and put on white noise. Then what happens – are you rocking him in your arms while singing a lullaby, or walking around the dark room?
3. Your settling approach – You mentioned you’re using a modified settling pyramid. Can you describe what that actually looks like step by step? So how you settle him in your arms and at what point you transfer him into the crib?
4. Daytime routine – Are you following the wake-feed-play-sleep routine during the day?
5. Bedtime – You mentioned he’s not falling asleep in his crib at bedtime. Can you explain how you’re getting him to sleep at night? From what you’ve written, it sounds like you’re co-sleeping, and it seems to be working well.
6. Daycare setup – Can you describe what his sleep environment looks like there? Specifically:
   • Is the room relatively dark?
   • Do they use white noise? Could you bring yours in?
   • Are they willing to do a short nap routine, like singing a lullaby before putting him down?
   • What are they actually doing when they put him down – does it sound like they’re placing him in the crib and leaving him to settle on his own?

Once I have a clearer picture of all of this, we should be able to figure out some practical steps for both you and his daycare.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Patrick,

Thanks for sharing all of that!

So when little ones get sick, it can definitely set their sleep back a little and the reason for that is pretty straightforward. When they’re unwell, uncomfortable, or in pain, we naturally do more to help soothe them. And once they get used to that extra input to help them fall asleep, they start to expect it, even after they’re feeling better.

Now, you also mentioned she might be teething. One thing that can help you figure out whether pain is causing the wakes is to look at the timing of them. If she’s waking at random times – not every 90 minutes or two hours, just unpredictably – that’s often a sign that pain is the culprit rather than a sleep association. If that sounds like what’s happening, it’s worth having a chat with your doctor about pain relief options to help her through it.

I do have a few more questions so I can get a clearer picture of her routine before I give you more specific guidance:

• Day routine: Are you generally following a wake-feed-play-sleep routine during the day? You mentioned your wife sometimes settles her with a feed – is that mainly for the overnight wakes, or is she also feeding her to sleep for naps and at bedtime?
• Nap settling: When she’s on the bouncy ball, are you singing a lullaby, or is it done in silence? And when you move to rocking her in your arms, are you rocking until her eyes are closed, or just for the length of a song before putting her down awake? Is she already asleep when you put her down?
• Baby carrier: Have you moved away from using the carrier altogether? Or do you rock her in your arms and then transfer her into the carrier to fall asleep for naps? Or does she start in the cot, and then when she wakes after 30 minutes you put her in the carrier to extend the nap?
• Bedtime Story: You mentioned that you read your little one a book in the living room. When you do this, have you turned the lights down in the living room and maybe just have a lamp on?
• Bedtime settling on your wife’s chest: When your wife lays her down on her chest – is she sitting down in a chair with your little one lying on her, shushing and stroking her back or tummy? Or is she standing and moving while doing that?
• Bedtime feed: I’m guessing there’s a feed somewhere in the bedtime routine – is it before the washcloth and warm water, or does it come a bit later? If it’s later, can you let me know where it fits in?
• Pacifier: You mentioned she used a pacifier occasionally. Do you use it as part of the bedtime and nap routine, or just for the overnight wakes?

Sorry for all the questions! I just want to make sure I’ve got a really clear picture of how things are looking before I give you my recommendations.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Tatsiana,

Given that your little one has recently started the medication and the side effect is gassiness and the wakings at night have only recently started, they could be due to the medication.

But the other thing it could be is that your little one is going through the 4-month sleep regression. It’s not really a regression; it’s more like a regression in that they go through four stages instead of two. When they wake between sleep cycles or are partially awake between sleep cycles, if they need your help to fall asleep, they are more likely to wake fully and then need you to recreate whatever it is they need to fall asleep.

Generally, if they’re waking due to pain, the wake-ups overnight happen at random times and are not really like clockwork. If it is due to the 4-month regression, the wakes tend to be really predictable and happen at really predictable times, almost as if you could set a stopwatch and you’ll know when they’ll wake up. That sounds like it might be the case with your little one.

Just to help you move through this stage, I’ve got a few questions. When you have time, can you please answer them so I’ll have a clearer idea of what’s going on with your little one and be able to provide more tailored suggestions?

1. You mentioned you’re moving her wake-up time earlier. Can you let me know what her current wake-up time is?
2. Are you keeping the morning wake up time within the same 30 minute window?
3. Also you mentioned you are shifting her wake up time and bedtime earlier, how often are you making the adjustments and how big are they? For example, are you shifting her wake up time and entire day schedule 15 minutes earlier every 3rd day?
4. How long is she tending to stay awake between naps?
5. Are you able to let me know how many naps she’s having during the day, the timing of those naps, and the length of those naps, if possible?
6. Can you walk me through what her nap routine looks like and how you get her to fall asleep?
7. Can you also tell me what her bedtime routine looks like?
8. Can you let me know what time bedtime currently is? You said you were trying to move it forward, but you haven’t had much success with that, so you can just let me know what time she’s actually falling asleep at bedtime?
9. Are you swaddling your little one?
10. Are you using a pacifier?
11. Have you been able to follow the wake-feed-play-sleep routine during the day?
12. You mentioned that her final nap of the day is between 6:00 and 6:30, but bedtime might be around 10:00. Is that the case, or is she having another nap somewhere during that wake window?

Sorry for all the questions.
Emma

[Emma H]

No worries at all. I hope it helps a little

[Emma H]

No worries at all, Erin. Just let me know how it goes, and we can make things if needed.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Erin,

Thanks so much for getting back to me with all of that detail!

It sounds like you’ve built a really solid foundation with a consistent wake-up time, a predictable nap routine, and he’s now able to settle to sleep in your arms without any movement. That’s great progress!

I understand that moving through the full settling pyramid isn’t practical right now, so here’s a modified version that might work well for you:

Modified Settling Pyramid

1. Complete your usual bedtime or nap routine
2. Sing his lullaby once while you rock and pat him in your arms
3. Gradually slow the rocking down until he is calm
4. Once he’s calm, lay him in the crib but instead of starting at the bottom of the pyramid, start at the patting stage and consider rocking him instead. To do this, place your hand on his chest and slowly rock him side to side with your hand.

If that helps him stay calm in the crib, you can then gradually work back down the pyramid:

• Slow the rocking or patting down
• Keep your hand still on his chest and add shushing while staying in view
• Remove your hand, continue shushing while in view
• Move out of sight and continue shushing

The goal is to help him learn to fall asleep in the crib while still feeling supported by your presence.

When to try it

• On the weekend, I’d start with the first nap of the day and bedtime – these tend to be the easiest wins
• During the week, bedtime is probably your best opportunity to practise

At childcare

It’s definitely worth asking if you can bring in his white noise machine. More importantly, once you’ve had a chance to try the modified approach above at home, share the steps with his carers so they can replicate it as closely as possible.

I know it can be tricky when there are other babies in the room, and childcare staff will often default to feeding to sleep simply because it works quickly. But if this approach is working well at home, it’s absolutely worth passing on – the more consistently he experiences the same settling routine, the faster he’ll learn the skill.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Yanet,

If that’s the case, then you might need to take it a little bit slower, the strategies should still work though, so let me know how you go in a week or two.
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Yanet,

Sorry, I’m just a little confused. I thought you mentioned she was falling asleep without motion most of the time. Does that mean you’re now using motion every time to get her to sleep?

If so, still pop on her sleeping bag and do the walking around part while you’re outside of the bedroom, and then when she is calm going into the bedroom and sing the lullaby while you rock her in your arms.

Now, what you could try at this point is rocking and patting at the same time. Then gradually slow down the rocking, but keep the patting going – that may help her stay calm as you stop the rocking. Once she’s settled with just the patting, slowly reduce that too, so you’re eventually standing still and she’s falling asleep without any motion.

That might be a nice way to work through it!

[Emma H]

Hi Lizzie,

It’s great that she’s able to settle herself to sleep using the dummy!

Since she’s only 10 weeks old and the dummy isn’t disrupting her sleep, meaning she’s not waking every time it falls out, I wouldn’t worry about removing it right now.

The time to think about fading the dummy out is if it starts causing problems, like:

• She can’t fall asleep because it keeps falling out and you have to keep replacing it
• She’s waking frequently overnight because she’s lost it

For now, the best things to focus on are:

• Keeping a consistent wake-up time each morning
• Following her tired cues
• Having a consistent nap and bedtime routine – this acts as a signal that tells her it’s time to sleep

These habits will also make it much easier to transition away from the dummy later on, if and when you need to!

I hope that helps,
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Yanet,

Thanks so much for answering all of my questions. Based on everything you’ve shared, I’ve put together a plan for you below.

Swaddle and Sucking Her Hands

You mentioned she falls asleep slower with one arm out but sleeps deeper when she does because she is sucking her hand. This tells me she’s starting to use her hands to self-soothe, which is exactly what we want.

You also mentioned that she seems to settle down more when she’s in the swaddle. Something you can do, if she’s not yet showing early signs of rolling (which is rolling onto a side or lifting her hips), is to swaddle her so that one arm is down, and then swaddle the hand that she likes to suck on up near her face. You’d still include it in the swaddle, but you just position it near her face, as this gives easy access to that hand and then she can suck on it. That might be something worth trying.

If she is starting to show early signs of rolling over, then you will need to get her out of that swaddle. You start by transitioning with one arm out first, and the arm that you would free first is the hand that she’s tending to suck on.

Adjust the Sleep Routine

Given that she is crying intensely regardless of when you put the swaddle on in the routine, but you mentioned that it actually helps her fall asleep quicker, I would think about actually putting the swaddle on earlier in the routine and just having a longer period of time before you enter the bedroom. You could try the following:

• Put the swaddle on in the living room or a bright, active area – not in the bedroom.
• After putting the swaddle on, walk around with her in your arms in the living room for a minute or two until she’s calm.
• Then start singing Twinkle Twinkle as you walk toward the bedroom.
• Continue singing as you walk into the bedroom and do one lap of the room.
• The goal is for her to be hearing the lullaby and feeling the comfort of your arms before she even enters the bedroom, so the transition feels smoother.

This helps prevent the bedroom from becoming a place she associates with distress.

Continue to Work on Falling Asleep Without Movement in Your Arms

Before attempting the settling pyramid again, she needs to consistently fall asleep in your arms without any movement.

When settling her in your arms, try to have her lying horizontal rather than upright, as this position is much closer to how she’ll be lying in the crib and will make the transfer easier. If she’s not tolerating lying horizontally while facing your body, try turning her so her body is facing away from you – similar to the side-lying position I demonstrate in the Period of Purple Crying video where I talk about Dr Harvey Karp’s 5 S’s. This can sometimes feel more comfortable for babies who resist the traditional cradle hold.

Practice this for every nap and bedtime for about 5–7 days, until she’s consistently falling asleep without motion. This is the bridge that will make the settling pyramid much easier.

When she does fall asleep in your arms, remember to adjust your arm position before you lay her down in the crib, as this can reduce the likelihood of her waking during the transfer. This small change can make a big difference. When you’re holding her, her head is probably resting in the crook of your elbow, with your other arm supporting under her body. Before you lower her into the crib, reposition like this:

1. Move the arm that’s under her body so that your hand is now supporting the back of her head.
2. Slide the arm that was under her head down so it’s now supporting the middle of her back.
3. Lower her into the crib legs first – so her legs touch the mattress, then her bottom, then her back, then her head.
4. Once she’s lying down, slowly slide each hand out to the side (rather than pulling them straight out from under her).
5. If she starts to stir. Immediately start patting her and shushing, and then walk your way back down the pyramid

Reintroduce the Settling Pyramid – Start with the First Nap and Bedtime Only

Once she’s consistently falling asleep without movement in your arms, try the settling pyramid for the first nap of the day and at bedtime only. These are the two easiest times for babies to settle because sleep pressure is working in your favour.

When you place her in the crib, rather than starting at the bottom of the pyramid (watch and listen), start higher up:

• Place your hands on her body and gently rock her side to side in the crib while shushing.
• As she starts to calm, gradually reduce the rocking and shushing, and begin descending the pyramid.

If she escalates to crying and you can’t settle her using the pyramid, pick her up and settle her in your arms (without movement).

For all other naps, continue settling her in your arms using Step 3.

Overnight Wakes and Feeds

You mentioned she’s now waking around five times a night, and from what you recorded, it looks like these wake-ups are happening roughly every 1.5 hours. Because the timing between wakes is so consistent – rather than a longer stretch at the start of the night followed by gradually shorter stretches – it suggests she’s waking between every sleep cycle. This is happening because she’s used to falling asleep in your arms, so when she briefly wakes between sleep cycles overnight, she needs that same help to fall back to sleep.

The way to reduce these overnight wakes is by helping her learn to fall asleep in the crib using the settling pyramid. The steps we’ve outlined above will gradually work toward this. What you’ll typically notice is that once a baby can fall asleep independently, the stretch between bedtime and the first feed gradually lengthens. That shift pushes all the other feeds to a later time, and they’ll then naturally start to drop off.

Consistent Wake-Up Time

Continue waking her within that 6:30–7:00am window every morning. This helps regulate her circadian rhythm and makes everything more predictable, nap times, bedtime, and overnight sleep.

Track Her Wake Windows

At 13 weeks, a wake window of around 1.5 hours is appropriate, but if she’s taking a long time to fall asleep, her wake windows may need extending slightly. Try 1 hour 45 minutes and see if she settles more easily. If she’s had a longer nap, you could stretch the wake window by an extra 15 minutes.

Does this sound doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Cherry,

First of all, you’re doing an amazing job, please don’t feel guilty!

At this age, babies don’t really follow a set schedule. That usually doesn’t happen until around six months. Right now, in the newborn phase, it’s much better for everyone if you just follow her lead, sleeping when she’s tired and feeding when she’s hungry.

If you haven’t already, have a look at the video where I talk about newborn cues and how to tell when your baby is tired. Every baby is different, and learning her unique signals will make things so much easier.

She’s putting on weight beautifully, she’s sleeping well, you’re doing a great job. You really don’t need to stick to a strict three-hour schedule for her wake windows.

Now, spending an hour feeding is quite a long time for a newborn, so here’s what I’m wondering, she might actually be falling asleep during the feed. This is really tricky to spot because babies will keep sucking even when they’re asleep. The thing to watch for is whether the swallowing slows right down or stops. Their eyes are usually closed anyway while feeding, so the best clue is that change in swallowing. If she is dozing off during feeds, her wake windows might not actually be as long as they seem.

Does that sound like it could be happening with your little one?

As for waking her for feeds during the day, since she’s gaining weight well, sleeping well, and I’m assuming her nappies are normal, you don’t need to stress about this. If she falls asleep after two hours of being awake and then naps for over two hours (meaning it’s been four hours since her last feed), I’d just let her go.

If you are worried, you could try waking her and see what happens. If she wakes up and has a good feed, great! But if she wakes up and doesn’t feed well, that’s just a sign it’s better to follow her lead and let her sleep.

The one thing I would suggest is capping that nap at around three hours. That way, she’ll still have enough time for more naps later in the day, so you won’t end up with a really long stretch of awake time before bedtime.

I hope that helps,

Emma