[Emma H]

Hi Cherry,

Firstly, a huge congratulations on the safe arrival of your little one! It sounds like you’re doing well.

Also, there’s no such thing as a silly question, as parenthood is such a steep learning curve.

I’ve answered your questions below, so feel free to ask any follow-ups if needed.

1. Settling Pyramid at 4 Weeks

At four weeks, it’s really common for babies to fall asleep during feeding because their wake windows are so short. This often means there isn’t really a window to use the Settling Pyramid. She’s simply not awake long enough after a feed for you to apply it.

Between six to eight weeks, you’ll likely notice that after a feed she starts to stay awake and have a little period of play. That’s when the Settling Pyramid becomes more useful. When you do start, think of it as practice rather than something that should work every time. You’re just introducing her to those steps so she can start experiencing them.

To set yourself up for success, I’d suggest focusing on the first nap of the day and bedtime initially. These are typically the two easiest times to see progress with the pyramid.

2. Different Settling Methods Between You and Your Husband

At this age, I wouldn’t be concerned about having different methods. You’re in survival mode, and that’s completely okay.

From around six to eight weeks, you can start focusing more on a consistent bedtime routine and using the Settling Pyramid, or gradually reducing the amount of movement your husband uses to settle her. But right now, feeding her to sleep is totally normal, and your husband doing whatever he needs to do to get her down is also completely fine.

3. Night Feeds: Duration and Amount

You do not need to keep her awake to “finish” a full feed at night. The fact that she is sleeping well, gaining weight, and generally doing well overnight tells you she isn’t going hungry. She is taking what she needs to satisfy her hunger and going back to sleep. That is perfectly fine.

4. Long Naps and Not Being Put Down

Those long naps are great, and no, you don’t need to wake her. Especially given she’s feeding well, in the 97th percentile, and sleeping well overnight. If she were having long awake periods during the night, we might look at capping naps, but since that’s not happening, leave them as they are.

Your approach of not letting her sleep past three hours is a good one. This just ensures she has enough time during the day to get plenty of feeds in, which can encourage longer stretches of sleep overnight.

Regarding the light sleeping and wanting to be held, here are a few things that can help:

• Start a sleep routine now. Even at this age, a simple, consistent pre-sleep routine will help her start to recognise what comes before sleep. It acts as a sleep cue, and when you do move to the Settling Pyramid later, it won’t feel like such a sudden change for her.
• Use a swaddle if you’re not already. This dampens the startle reflex and can help her stay settled when you place her in the crib, which also gives you a better opportunity to try the Settling Pyramid down the track.
• Gradually reduce movement when settling in arms. This one is particularly useful for your husband. When he’s rocking her with the dummy, he could sing a lullaby while rocking, and then once the lullaby finishes, slowly reduce the rocking so that by the time she drifts off, he’s standing completely still. This makes the eventual transition to the crib and to the Settling Pyramid much easier, because she’s not relying on movement to fall asleep.

I hope this makes sense.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Olga,

Thanks so much for recording your little one’s day.

From what you’ve written, it looks like he had 6 naps:

• Nap 1 – 20 mins
• Nap 2 – 30 mins
• Nap 3 – 31 mins
• Nap 4 – 1 hour 20 mins
• Nap 5 – 1 hour
• Nap 6 – 2 hours 15 mins

This totals just under 6 hours of daytime sleep, which is quite a lot for a newborn and is likely why he’s so active and awake overnight.

What I’d suggest trying first:

Most of his naps are around 30 minutes to an hour, it’s really just Nap 6 (the one on you) that’s quite long. I’d start by capping that nap at 1 hour instead of letting it run to 2+ hours.

A couple of things to keep in mind:

1. It may not be enough. If he continues to be active and awake overnight after capping that nap, it could mean his total daytime sleep is still too high and we’d need to cap further.
2. His bedtime may need to shift earlier. With a shorter final nap, the gap before bedtime might be too long for him, so you may need to bring bedtime forward. This could also mean he starts waking a bit earlier in the morning.

Next step: Cap that final nap at 1 hour and see if there are any changes to his overnight activity. If not, let me know and we can look at adjusting things further.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Yanet,

I am so sorry I seemed to have missed your reply.

Thanks so much for outlining what your little one’s day looks like.

Based on what you recorded, it looks like your little one is having around four naps a day, totalling just under four hours of daytime sleep, which is great for three months.

If you’re aiming for a bedtime around 7:00–7:30pm, it’s a good idea to cap that last nap so it finishes by around 5:30pm. This gives her enough awake time before bed to build up sleep pressure.

From the record, it looks like she’s staying awake for about an hour and a half between naps. If she’s had a longer nap, you could try extending that wake window by about 15 minutes. This can sometimes make it easier for her to settle for naps and may even help her nap for longer.

Overnight Feeds

At three months, it’s really common for babies to still wake overnight for feeds. Looking at the record, she was transferred into bed at 7:55pm and then woke at 11:20pm. Given her last feed was at 6:50pm, that’s nearly four and a half hours since she last ate.

I know she settled back to sleep without a feed at that point, but something to consider is offering a feed when she wakes at that 11:00–12:00 mark. The reason is that feeding her at this first wake-up can push that next feed later, so instead of waking at 1:00am, she might not wake until closer to 3:00am. That shift could then remove the need for that 5:10am feed altogether.

I know it might seem counterintuitive to add in a feed when the goal is fewer wake-ups, but at three months, that 5:00am wake is one of the hardest to resettle. Sleep pressure is low by then and her body clock is naturally encouraging her to wake up. By feeding her earlier in the night, you can shift those later feeds to a time when it’s easier for her to fall back to sleep, which often reduces the total number of overnight wakes. As she gets older, you’d then work on dropping that pre-midnight feed.

Sleep Routine & Settling

How have the last few days been going with the tweaks to the sleep routine and settling pyramid? Have you noticed any changes?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Laura,

Sorry, I’m a little confused about what you mean by “random wake windows,” so I just want to clarify, are her wake windows changing throughout the whole day, as in they’re decreasing across the board? Or are you referring specifically to that first wake window of the day starting to become shorter? Or is it the final wake window before bed that was three hours and is now reducing?

The easiest thing to do would be if you could just update me on what her full routine is currently looking like so I can get a clearer picture.

In terms of bedtime and waking 45 minutes later, there are a couple of possible reasons for this:

1. She’s not quite tired enough – she might have enough sleep pressure to fall asleep, but not enough to actually stay asleep.
2. Something is disturbing her – it’s worth thinking about what’s happening around the house at that time and whether something might be accidentally waking her up.
3. Rolling – I’m not quite sure how you’re settling her to sleep in the crib, whether that’s on her back or her tummy. But if she’s falling asleep on her back and then rolling onto her tummy during her sleep, that could be what’s causing her to wake 45 minutes later. If that is the case, something to consider is whether you start settling her to sleep on her tummy. A lot of babies actually find that once they can roll over, they prefer to sleep on their tummy. If you do decide to try this, you just want to make sure her sleep space is safe, meaning free from any loose items.

The easiest way to figure out whether it’s a tiredness issue is if you can tell me what her daytime routine looks like. Would that be okay?

Thanks,
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

Offering him a slightly earlier nap on these days would be fine and letting him sleep for slightly longer as a result would be a good idea. Just based on your initial recording if he slept past 2:30pm he tended to fall asleep after 8pm. So I would just make sure you cap the nap at 2:30pm.

I would also be keen to see what this week looks like, as I am interested if Roh starts waking up independently from the majority of naps and mornings. If he is still needing to be woken then we might need to tweak the length of his naps to make them slightly longer. As generally if a bub is getting enough sleep they wake up on their own, so if he isn’t then it could suggest we need to give him the opportunity to have a longer nap.

Does this make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Lizzie,

It sounds like you’ve been trying a lot of different things, and I can hear it feels like it’s getting harder rather than easier. But I do want to point out, the fact that your little one can now fall asleep in your arms without movement is a huge step forward from where you started.

I have a few changes I’d recommend trying. I’ve broken them down below so they’re easier to work through.

1. Move the Nappy Change Earlier in Her Wake Window

Rather than changing her nappy as part of the nap or bedtime routine, try doing it earlier – ideally shortly after a feed or midway through her play time. Most babies, especially newborns, really dislike nappy changes, and if she’s already tired, it becomes one more thing she has to push through before sleep. That frustration can tip her over the edge before you’ve even started settling.

If her nappy is only slightly wet at nap time, that’s okay, with barrier cream on, it shouldn’t bother her. Of course, if she’s done a poo, you’ll still need to change it.

2. Start the Routine Outside the Bedroom

If she’s becoming distressed as soon as you begin the bedtime or nap routine in the bedroom, try starting parts of it in the living room to break that association. Here’s what that could look like:

• Put the swaddle on in the living room.
• Read the book out there too.
• Walk around the living room while patting her so she’s calm in your arms. You could also pop the dummy in at this point to help her settle.
• Once she’s calm, walk into the bedroom, turn off the lights, and sing the lullaby in the semi-dark.
• Then try laying her down in the crib and start the settling pyramid.

Sometimes just changing up the routine slightly is enough to reduce the distress they start to associate with certain environments.

3. Focus the Settling Pyramid on the First Nap and Bedtime

During the newborn phase, you’re most likely to get success with the settling pyramid at the first nap of the day and at bedtime. As the day goes on and sleep pressure shifts, the consecutive naps tend to get harder to settle. So if you can’t get there with every nap, that’s completely okay – just prioritise that first nap and bedtime, and keep giving her the opportunity to try.

4. Consider Introducing the Dummy Earlier in the Routine

I know you were keen to hold off on the dummy, but it’s very common during the newborn phase for babies to suck to sleep and using the dummy earlier in the routine might actually make it easier for her to transition from your arms into the crib.

Here’s one approach you could try:

• Offer the dummy from the beginning of the routine and let her use it while you work through the settling pyramid in the crib.
• Just before she falls asleep, try gently popping the dummy out – place your middle finger between the dummy and the corner of her mouth and ease it out.
• Some babies will do that final step of falling asleep on their own without it. Others will wake up more, and you’ll need to leave it in.

This gives you a way to get her used to settling in the crib first, whether the dummy stays in or comes out. If she does need it in, we can work on removing it later, the priority right now is just getting that crib settling established.

One Last Thing to Keep in Mind

With newborns, the window between tired and overtired is very short – they can escalate quickly. So if she tips into that overtired zone despite your best efforts, that’s normal. Ideally, you’d aim to start the routine a little earlier, but it’s not always possible to catch it in time, and that’s okay.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Annie,

No worries at all. I was hoping you were busy putting everything into practice! It’s great to hear you’ve made some progress. Regarding your questions, I have answered them below.

Early Morning Wake-Ups

Since he’s been waking around 6–6:30 and isn’t really interested in playing during that first wake window, I’d suggest trying to feed him when he wakes and get him back to sleep until 7:30.

I wouldn’t let him sleep past 7:30 though, because with a 7:30 bedtime, that would mean 12+ hours of overnight sleep and most babies only do around 10–12 hours. So try feeding him at that early wake, settling him back to sleep, and then waking him at 7:30 to start the day. See how that goes over the next few days.

Daytime Settling

It’s really common for babies to start protesting when they recognise the sleep routine. One thing that can help is mixing it up slightly. For example, put his swaddle on in the living room instead of the bedroom. Walk around and pat him until he’s calm, and then go into the bedroom to sing the lullaby. That small change can sometimes reduce the resistance.

I also wanted to ask, have you been able to put him down in the crib and settle him to sleep using the settling pyramid for naps yet, or is he falling asleep in your arms? And if he is, how have you gone, reducing the rocking so he’s falling asleep without movement?

If you are trying the settling pyramid and he’s protesting a lot, what you can do is do a more gradual approach. By that, I mean you would do your nap routine, sing that lullaby, rock him a few moments in your arms. Then, when he’s calm, you would place him in the crib but immediately you would start patting him or you could even place your hand on his chest or underneath his bottom and start rocking him to the side. Then you gradually stop that rocking movement, continuing to shush him and keep your hand on his bottom or his chest. Then, if he stays calm, remove your hand and just shush in sight and then out of sight. Sometimes, going from the top of the pyramid down as soon as you place him in the crib can make that transition a little bit easier.

Overnight Settling

It’s fantastic that you’ve cut down those overnight feeds. It makes complete sense that he settles easily after feeds in the first half of the night but is harder to resettle later on, that’s because babies are in deeper sleep earlier in the night and lighter sleep in the second half, which makes those later wake-ups trickier.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

No worries Pav. Let me know how this week goes.
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Olga,

It really depends on your little one. So if you like it, it’d be great if you could let me know the time he generally naps during the day and how long these naps are and how many naps he’s having. Then I can work out if it might be too much sleep.

Emma

• This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Yanet!

It’s great that you’ve been able to stop the motion and your little one is now falling asleep without movement!

In terms of transitioning to the settling pyramid, here are a few things I’d suggest trying.

Adjusting the Sleep Routine

Because she’s getting distressed during the routine, try completing part of it outside the bedroom. For example, you could put her sleeping bag on in the living room and start singing the lullaby as you walk around outside the bedroom. Once she’s calm, walk into the bedroom, sing the lullaby one more time through, and then lay her down in the crib.

If she starts to escalate as soon as you enter the room, that’s okay, just continue singing the lullaby as you walk in and place her straight into the crib.

Tweaking the Settling Pyramid

Because she’s escalating to a cry as soon as you place her down, rather than starting at the bottom of the pyramid (watch and listen), I’d suggest starting higher up. Once she’s in the crib, place your hands on either side of her body (or one hand on her chest) and gently rock her side to side while shushing. This gives her some of that movement she’s seeking and lets her know you’re right there. Once she starts to settle, gradually reduce the rocking and begin descending the pyramid. This will likely be a much easier transition for her than starting from the bottom and working your way up, since she’s going straight to the top anyway.

Early Morning Waking

If she’s waking at 5:45am and not going back to sleep, try offering her a feed first. Sometimes a feed at that time is enough to help them drift back off. If she doesn’t go back to sleep after the feed, continue to treat it like a night waking, keep the lights off, avoid talking or stimulating her, and try to resettle her.

Also make sure the room is very dark (dark enough that you can’t read a book), as any early morning light creeping in can signal to her body that it’s time to wake up. Using white noise continuously throughout the night will also help mask any household noises in the early hours that might be waking her.

One More Thing

If the early waking continues, we may need to look at her overall sleep schedule and honestly, this is something I’m interested in regardless, because it might help us make the settling pyramid attempts more successful. When you have time, could you let me know what her routine currently looks like? Specifically: what time she wakes in the morning, what time her naps are and how long they last, and what time bedtime is. This will help me see how much sleep she’s getting across the day and whether any adjustments could help with both the settling pyramid and the early morning wakes.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Olga,

I hope you’re having a great week I have answered your question below.

Wake-up time of 9:30–10:00 AM

The specific time you choose doesn’t matter nearly as much as being consistent with it. The key is picking a 30-minute window and waking him within that window every single day, including weekends. This consistency is what helps your baby’s circadian rhythm develop properly, which in turn leads to more predictable naps, smoother bedtimes, and longer stretches of sleep overnight.

So if 9:30–10:00 AM works for your family right now, that’s absolutely fine. Just keep in mind that a later wake-up time means his entire schedule – naps and bedtime – will shift later too. So you’d be looking at a fairly late bedtime. If at any point you’d prefer an earlier bedtime, the way to achieve that is by gradually shifting his wake-up time earlier, about 15 minutes every 3 days, and his whole schedule will follow.

Wide awake after a night feed

At 7 weeks, your baby’s circadian rhythm is only just beginning to develop, so it’s normal for him to sometimes seem alert after a night feed. The goal is to teach him that nighttime is for sleeping, not playing. You do this through how you respond and the environment you create:

• Keep the room as dark as possible during the feed (use a dim red light if needed)
• Keep all interactions minimal and boring – no talking, no eye contact, no stimulation
• Don’t change his nappy unless it’s dirty or he seems uncomfortable
• After the feed, place him back down. If he’s alert but calm, leave him be. The dark, boring environment will help signal to his brain that it’s not time to be awake

If you’re doing all of the above and he’s still regularly wide awake after night feeds, it’s worth looking at how much he’s sleeping during the day. If his daytime naps are very long, he may be getting too much daytime sleep and essentially “borrowing” from his nighttime sleep. In that case, you may need to cap some of his daytime naps to ensure he has enough sleep pressure to sleep for longer stretches overnight.

Going from 5–6 hour stretches back to 2–3 hours

To encourage longer stretches to return:

• Make sure he’s getting full feeds during the day (not snacking). If he’s falling asleep mid-feed, try gently waking him to finish
• Ensure his daytime naps aren’t excessively long – if he’s sleeping for very long stretches during the day, that sleep is being “borrowed” from nighttime
• Keep that consistent morning wake-up time, as this supports his developing circadian rhythm

As long as you’re keeping things consistent, those longer stretches should return.

I hope that makes sense.

Emma

• This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

I’ve had a look at your record for the last week, and there’s some really positive progress! It looks like the split nights are happening much less often now, which is great to see.

I did notice that he’s been waking a little earlier than usual, closer to 6:30 rather than 7. So it might be worth adjusting bedtime slightly over the next week to see if that helps push his wake-up time back.

Here’s what I’d suggest:

On short nap days: Offer an earlier bedtime, aim for around 7:00pm (lay him in his crib at 7pm), or even a touch earlier if he’s really cranky.

On longer nap days (around 2 hours): Put him in the crib at 7:15pm.

Then just keep an eye on two things over the next week:

1. How long it takes him to fall asleep at night
2. Whether his morning wake-up time starts shifting closer to 7:00am

This should give us a clearer picture of what’s working and whether those early wakes start to settle!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Lizzie,

Great to hear you’re going to try the Halo swaddles – experimenting with one arm up is a good idea too.

Regarding yawning as a sleep cue – yawning is usually a late tired sign, but given that your little one seems to perk up when you take her into the bedroom, what I’d suggest is this: when you see that yawn, instead of getting her ready for bed straight away, try changing up the activity first and see how she responds. If she perks up and re-engages, that’s a good indication she was just bored, and you can let her continue playing. But if she continues to fuss or just becomes a bit grizzly, then you know she’s genuinely tired and it’s time to start the bedtime routine.

Does that make sense?
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Yanet,

If she’s closing her eyes while you rock her, she’s likely falling asleep or entering a light stage of sleep. Here are two things you can try:

Gradually reduce the rocking Rather than rocking her until she’s fully still, try shortening the rocking time. Since she responds better when you slow down gradually, use that to your advantage – slowly reduce the speed of the rocking so she doesn’t notice the change. The goal is for her to be calm but not fully asleep when you stop, so she gets used to falling asleep without motion.

Adjust your arm position before the transfer This small change can make a big difference. When you’re holding her, her head is probably resting in the crook of your elbow, with your other arm supporting under her body. Before you lower her into the crib, reposition like this:

1. Move the arm that’s under her body so that your hand is now supporting the back of her head.
2. Slide the arm that was under her head down so it’s now supporting the middle of her back.
3. Lower her into the crib legs first – so her legs touch the mattress, then her bottom, then her back, then her head.
4. Once she’s lying down, slowly slide each hand out to the side (rather than pulling them straight out from under her).

This creates a much smoother, less jerky movement during the transfer reduces the chances of startling her.

Does that make sense?
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Yanet!

I have answered your questions below.

How long to see results?

Every baby is different, so there’s no exact timeline. Some parents notice progress within a few days, while for others it takes a couple of weeks of consistent practice. The key is consistency rather than speed, even small signs of progress (like needing slightly less rocking or calming more quickly in your arms) are steps in the right direction.

When to progress from eyes closed in your arms to placing her down awake

It sounds like your little one has made some really nice progress, falling asleep without being rocked is a big step, and it shows she’s adjusting to this new way of falling asleep really quickly.

I’d suggest continuing what you’re doing for another day or two – letting her fall asleep without movement in your arms – just so it becomes more consistent for her. Then, for the morning nap and bedtime, you could try this:

1. Complete your nap/bedtime routine and end with your lullaby while gently rocking her.
2. Once the lullaby finishes, give her a few gentle pats, and then lay her down in the crib.

If she starts to fuss as soon as you place her down, here’s a small modification to the settling pyramid that might help: instead of patting her tummy, place your hands on her tummy and gently rock her while she’s in the crib. This gives her a little bit of that movement she’s used to, but in the crib rather than in your arms. Then, once she’s staying calm, gradually slow the rocking down and slowly take your hands away.

This can be a much easier bridge for babies who are used to movement, so it’s definitely worth trying.

The grunting, squirming and fussing during the routine

You’re right, this is very likely her way of “powering down.” Many babies do this as they transition from being awake to feeling sleepy. It’s completely normal. It can look and sound like she’s uncomfortable or fighting it, but it’s actually her body winding down.

You don’t need to avoid it or fix it, just continue calmly with the routine. Over time, as she becomes more familiar with the sleep routine and learns to fall asleep more independently, you’ll likely notice this fussing reduces.

Does that make sense?
Emma