[Emma H]

Hi Giedre,

I’m so happy to hear that your little one’s sleep improved so much and that you had such a wonderful month! It’s also great to know her naps are still going well.

To better understand what might be affecting her nighttime sleep and provide you with advice, it would be great to get a bit more insight into her current routine. Could you share the following details with me?

• What does her day typically look like? Specifically, what time does she have her naps, and when does she generally wake from them?
• What time is she going to bed at night?
• How are you currently settling her to sleep at bedtime?
• Does she have a bedtime routine? If so, what does that look like?
• Is she sleeping in the same room as you and your husband?
• What is the bedroom like overnight?
• What times does she typically wake overnight? And when she wakes, are you feeding her?
• Are you breastfeeding or formula feeding?
• Does she use a pacifier to sleep?
• Do you have a set wake-up time for the morning?
• For her daytime naps, when you apply the settling pyramid, is she falling asleep in the crib on her own, or do you need to physically pat her to sleep?

I know how hectic life can be with a 4-month-old, so please take your time in answering these questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Seb and Cath,

Thanks so much for your detailed reply.

It is great that she is waking around 6am consistently now, that’s a good sign that her body clock is getting into a rhythm.

To help with her daytime naps there are a few things that you can try:

1. Focus on the First Nap

I know you’ve been thinking about letting her nap in the carrier for the first nap and then trying the crib for later naps. However, I’d recommend trying the first nap in the crib instead. Babies tend to find it easier to fall asleep for that first nap. As the day goes on, naps can get trickier as they become more tired and sometimes overstimulated.

So, starting with the first nap in the crib makes you more likely to succeed. For the other naps, you can still offer contact naps or use the carrier if that works for her.

Once she’s comfortable sleeping in the crib for the first nap, you can try the same approach with the second nap, using the settling pyramid. Little by little, you can extend this to the third, fourth, and fifth nap as well, until she’s napping in the crib for all of her naps when you’re home.

2. Set A Consistent Time For Her First Nap

Now that her morning wake-up time is more predictable, it’s an excellent opportunity to set a consistent time for her first nap. Having this first nap at the same time daily will encourage a more structured overall nap schedule, helping the rest of her naps naturally fall into a predictable rhythm.

To ensure she builds up enough sleep pressure to easily fall asleep for that first nap, consider gradually extending her wake window from 1 hour and 15 minutes (6:00am – 7:15am) to 2 hours (6:00am – 8:00am).

If you feel that stretching her wake window all at once would be too much for her, try adjusting it more gradually. Start by moving the first nap from 7:15am to 7:30am for 3-4 days. Once she adjusts and is comfortable with the new timing, you can move it to 7:45am for another 3-4 days and finally to 8:00am.

3. Consider Having Her Nap in the Crib Instead of the Bassinet

Since she’s already comfortably falling asleep independently in the crib at night, it might be worth considering her nap there, too, especially for the first nap of the day. I know you might be worried that moving naps to the crib could disrupt her ability to fall asleep at night, but this is unlikely. Her circadian rhythm and sleep pressure will still work together to help her fall asleep at night, and since she’s already familiar with the crib, this could actually make naps smoother as well.

Also, just a quick note—if she’s started rolling over, it’s recommended to move her from the bassinet to the crib for safety. This way, she’ll have more room to move around and sleep securely.

4. Make Sure She’s Genuinely Tired

I know you mentioned that her tired signs can be tricky to spot, and that’s totally understandable! A little tip that might help is that “I’m tired” signs can sometimes look like “I’m bored” signs. One thing you can try is switching up the activity or changing the scenery when you first notice the “I’m tired” sign. If she’s still fussy or unsettled afterwards, it’s a good sign that she’s actually tired. But if she perks up and seems happy, she is probably just a bit bored.

This can help you get a better sense of when she’s really ready for sleep!

5. Tweak the Nap Time Routine Slightly

One minor tweak that could really help is starting to make the room dark at the beginning of the nap routine. Dimming the lights or closing the blinds right from the start will cue her that it’s time to wind down for sleep. A dark environment can also help her fall asleep quicker because it reduces the number of distractions in the room. Babies can be easily stimulated by things around them, so having fewer things to look at while you read her a story or do calming activities will help her relax more easily. Plus, the darkness triggers the body to produce melatonin, the hormone that promotes sleep, which can make it even easier for her to drift off.

Of course, you’ll still need some light to read, so consider using a soft night light. If possible, position the light behind her head, and a lamp that emits a red hue on a low setting is ideal since red light is less likely to interfere with her ability to fall asleep.

6. Don’t Worry About Using the Pacifier When Settling Her to Sleep in the Crib

You mentioned that she tends to wake up when the pacifier falls out, even though you don’t use it often. Given this, I’d suggest avoiding using the pacifier when putting her down in the crib. This way, she can learn to self-soothe without needing the pacifier, which means fewer wake-ups when it falls out.

7. Settling her to Sleep In the Crib

When it’s time to settle her for the first nap of the day, there are two approaches you can try:

The Settling Pyramid

If you’re feeling up for it, you can use the settling pyramid, which helps her practice falling asleep in the crib with your support. If you need to pick her up (climbing to the top of the pyramid), check in with yourself. If you have the energy, you can calm her in your arms and then place her back in the crib, following the pyramid steps back down as she cues you. But if you’re low on energy or she becomes too distressed, settling her fully in your arms is perfectly fine.

The Gradual Approach

If you’re not quite ready to use the settling pyramid, you can settle her in your arms after finishing the nap routine, but aim to gradually reduce the movement you’re using to help her fall asleep. For example, start by gently rocking her while patting her bottom and softly “shushing.” As she starts to calm down, stop the rocking and just stand still, continuing to pat and shush. Then, when she’s even calmer, stop the patting and just shush. Finally, stop shushing so she falls asleep in your arms without movement.

At this point, you can gently place her in the crib.

By gradually reducing the movement before she falls asleep, you’re helping her become comfortable with falling asleep without needing the rocking or bouncing. This gradual approach makes it easier to eventually transition to the settling pyramid when you both feel ready.

8. Still Do Part of the Nap Routine When You’re Planning for Her to Sleep in the Carrier or Pram

Even when you’re planning for her to nap in the carrier or pram, I’d recommend keeping part of the familiar nap routine in place to help signal to her that it’s time to sleep. For instance, you can still sing her the same lullaby that you use during her regular nap routine. Hearing that song will cue her that sleep is coming, no matter where she’s napping. This consistency will help her associate the lullaby with sleep, making it easier for her to settle down, whether she’s in her crib, carrier, or pram.

Do these suggestions seem doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Seb & Cath,

It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job with your baby’s nighttime routine! It’s great to hear that she’s able to settle herself back to sleep with little intervention. That’s a big win, especially at this stage.

It’s completely normal to feel stuck when it comes to naps—they can be tricky for many babies around this age.

I’d love to help you navigate this, but before diving into specific advice, it would be helpful to get a bit more information about your little one’s daytime routine. Could you answer a few quick questions when you have a moment?

1. Does your daughter wake up at a consistent time each morning? If so, what time does she typically wake up?
2. How long is she usually staying awake between naps?
3. Have you been able to establish a wake-feed-play-sleep routine during the day?
4. Does she use a pacifier for naps?
5. When helping her fall asleep (in your arms or the carrier), is movement involved? For example, are you walking around or bouncing on the ball?
6. Is there a difference between the sleeping environment during the day and at night? You mentioned she sleeps in her crib (in your room) at night and in the bassinet during the day. Just to clarify, is she napping in the same crib for both naps and nighttime sleep?
7. Is the room where the bassinet is located dark enough during naps that you can’t see your hand if you were to hold it up in front of your face or you wouldn’t be able to read a book?
8. When preparing her for naps, it sounds like the room might be bright until you close the blinds just before putting her down. Is that the case?

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Xu Shan,

I’m so glad to hear that the videos and course have been helpful on your baby’s sleep journey!

It sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job with the wake, feed, and play schedule, and you’ve already established a strong nap routine with swaddling, rocking, and white noise. These are all great foundations.

At this age, short naps (anywhere from 20 to 50 minutes) are completely normal, though understandably frustrating. It’s also common for nap lengths to vary throughout the day. As babies grow, naps typically become more predictable, but catnaps (lasting 30-45 minutes) often persist from around 3 to 6 months. Somewhere between 5 and 6 months, many babies begin to consolidate their naps, linking sleep cycles and sleeping for longer stretches.

That being said, here are a few suggestions that may help extend your baby’s naps and support more independent sleep:

1. Adjust Awake Time:
If it’s consistently taking 15-20 minutes for him to fall asleep after being awake for 65 minutes, this might indicate that his wake window needs adjusting. You could try increasing his wake time by 10-15 minutes, so start the nap routine around 75 minutes of awake time and see if it helps him settle faster. If he falls asleep with less effort, it’s a sign that a longer wake window is more suited to his current needs.

2. Pacifier Use:
Using a pacifier at this age is perfectly fine and even encouraged, as it’s linked with a reduced risk of SIDS. When are you currently offering him the pacifier? If you’re comfortable using it, try giving it to him before swaddling, as this can help soothe him and signal that it’s time to sleep. Once he’s swaddled, ensure the pacifier is still in place when you lay him down in the crib, and then proceed with the settling pyramid. Does he currently use a pacifier at night as well?

3. Extending Naps by Linking Sleep Cycles:
If you want to extend the length of his naps, you can try assisting him in linking sleep cycles. Start by noting how long his naps usually last—there may be a consistent length, like 30-40 minutes. If so, enter the room a few minutes before he typically wakes and gently pat him or reinsert the pacifier to help him transition into the next sleep cycle. This method works well for some babies, though not all, as some may wake up ready for the next activity regardless.

4. Settling Pyramid:
It’s great that you’ve started using the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep. When he cries after being laid down, are you moving up the pyramid (e.g., offering more soothing in the crib) before picking him up? If not, this could be something to try before resorting to picking him up right away. Also, are you able to let me know how are you currently putting him to sleep at bedtime?

5. Swaddle Consideration:
It’s great that you’re swaddling him! Could you let me know which type of swaddle you’re using? Specifically, are his arms positioned up near his face, or down by his sides? If his arms are up, you might want to try a swaddle that keeps his arms down by his sides, as this could help him settle faster during naps. Additionally, having his arms swaddled down will make it harder for him to accidentally knock the pacifier out of his mouth, which might help him stay calm and fall asleep.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Lauren,

I’m really sorry to hear that your little one is feeling under the weather with a cold. I hope she starts to feel better very soon.

When she’s not feeling her best, it’s perfectly okay to let her sleep in beyond her usual wake-up time. Sleep is so important for healing, and her body will naturally get the rest it needs to fight off the illness.

Once she’s up, you can adjust the day’s schedule from there. A little extra sleep won’t disrupt her routine too much, and it will likely help her bounce back faster.

Take it easy for the next few days, and once she’s on the mend, you can gradually ease back into her regular routine.

Wishing her a speedy recovery!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Carmen,

It sounds like your little one is learning to belly crawl, which is an exciting milestone!

However, this new skill might be causing him to move around more in his sleep, leading to those head bumps on the cot bars.

It’s quite common for babies to practice new motor skills even while they’re asleep, but don’t worry, this phase usually doesn’t last long.

As your baby masters the skill, he will likely stop practicing it during sleep and the head bumping should decrease.

In the meantime, here are a few things you can try to help:

Positioning: Consider placing him closer to the cot bars when you settle him down to sleep. By doing this, you’ll limit the space he has to crawl, which can reduce the likelihood of him hitting his head with force. This can make any bumps that do occur less painful and less distressing for your little one.

Avoid Cot Bumpers: While it might be tempting to use cot bumpers to cushion the bars, it’s important to avoid them as they can pose a suffocation and entrapment risk.

I hope that helps,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Giedre,

Thank you for answering these questions!

Here’s my understanding based on what you shared:

For daytime naps, it sounds like she is sleeping in her crib after you go through a nap routine. You’re placing her in the crib, and sometimes she falls asleep on her own, but if she doesn’t, you use the settling pyramid to help her drift off. Just to clarify—she isn’t falling asleep in your arms or during feeding and then being transferred to the crib, correct?

It looks like her first nap of the day happens around two hours after her morning wake-up, typically between 5:30-6:30 am. As a side note, you mentioned she doesn’t go back to sleep if she wakes at 5 am. This is understandable, as her sleep pressure is likely low after 9+ hours of on-and-off sleep, and her circadian rhythm is encouraging her to start the day.

Could you let me know her age and how many naps she’s taking each day?

You cap her last nap at 6 pm, and her bedtime routine starts at 7:30 pm, including a bath, white noise, sleep sack, and breastfeeding. Are you currently breastfeeding her in your bedroom with the lights off? Do you currently feed her until she falls asleep or are you feeding her and then rocking her until she nods off?

Given that the settling pyramid was effective in the past but has stopped working, her sleep needs might have shifted. It’s possible she needs more awake time before bed to fall into a deeper sleep. Currently, waking every 15-20 minutes could be a sign she isn’t quite tired enough to stay asleep.

Have you noticed if she tends to fall asleep and stay asleep around the same time each night? If not, could you try recording her sleep patterns over the next 3-4 nights, noting what time she falls asleep and stays asleep? It would also be helpful to track when her last nap ends each day, as this can help us identify the ideal wake windows.

In response to your question about moving her to her own room, the timing is a personal decision that depends on what feels right for both you and your little one. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that babies sleep in the same room as their parents for at least the first six months, ideally up to one year. This is primarily for safety and to reduce the risk of sleep-related issues.

Some parents decide to move their baby to a separate room around six months, especially if it seems like everyone might sleep better with a bit of distance. For example, babies can sometimes wake more often from hearing noises from parents nearby, like rustling, talking, or moving in bed. These little sounds may disturb their sleep, making it harder for them to stay asleep or settle on their own.

On the other hand, some parents notice they wake up to every little sound their baby makes. Babies naturally stir, grunt, or move around in their sleep, and it’s easy to feel the need to respond to each sound. Moving the baby to their own room can help parents rest better without being woken by each small noise, and it can also encourage the baby to practice settling themselves back to sleep, which can be an important step in developing independent sleep skills.

Whenever you decide to move her, I recommend placing her crib in the new room and having her nap and sleep there consistently. If possible, start with her first night’s sleep in the new room. Babies often find it easier to sleep at night due to high sleep pressure and their circadian rhythm, so she may adjust more smoothly.

Sorry for asking more questions!

Emma

[Emma H]

You’re so welcome, Pav! It’s totally understandable to overthink—it’s all part of being a caring parent. The fact that he’s a happy baby is such a great sign, so you’re definitely on the right track!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Xu Shan,

I’m so glad to hear that the nighttime routine is working well for your baby’s sleep! It sounds like you’ve created a great foundation, and those longer stretches of sleep at night are definitely a positive sign of progress.

When it comes to his daytime naps, the shorter naps could be a sign that he may not be quite tired enough when you’re putting him down. You could try adjusting his wake windows slightly to see if that leads to longer, more restful naps. Sometimes, just an extra 10-15 minutes of awake time can make a big difference.

In terms of using the pacifier for naps, it’s a tool that can help, but tweaking how and when you use it might lead to better sleep. Here’s an approach you could try:

1. Start with the pacifier: When he shows signs of being tired, allow him to use the pacifier as part of the nap-time routine.

2. Lay him down with the pacifier: After completing your routine (diaper change, calming activities, etc.), lay him down in his crib while he still has the pacifier in his mouth.

3. Use the Settling Pyramid: Help him settle by using the Settling Pyramid method to guide him toward falling asleep.

4. Remove the pacifier before sleep: Just before he falls asleep, gently remove the pacifier by placing your finger between the pacifier and the corner of his mouth to break the suction.

Some babies will continue to sleep soundly after the pacifier is removed, while others might stir. If he stirs, you can use the Settling Pyramid again to help him get back to sleep. If he fully wakes up when you remove the pacifier, you might want to try skipping the pacifier altogether at nap time and using the Settling Pyramid from the start to help him fall asleep on his own.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

When it comes to dream feeds, it’s not something I would typically recommend. This is mainly because babies tend to have a natural long stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night, which is influenced by their circadian rhythm and high sleep pressure at that time. Disrupting this stretch with a dream feed could interfere with their natural sleep cycle, and many babies may not even feed well when woken from this deep sleep phase.

While many babies at this age may still wake for 2-3 feeds overnight, it’s perfectly okay for some to sleep through the night without needing a feed. If your baby is content, growing well, and not waking for night feeds, there’s no need to introduce a dream feed simply because the gap between feedings seems long.

Regarding dropping the fifth nap, yes, when that happens, it’s common to have two feeds in the same wake window. So, after nap four, you’d have a feed, followed by some playtime, and then a second feed just before bed.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

I’m so happy to hear the advice has been helpful, and that the 9pm bedtime is working well for you both!

As you start to move bedtime earlier, it’s natural to wonder about how the 6th feed will fit in. One option is to gradually shift that last feed earlier, making it part of the bedtime routine. Let your little one take as much as he needs during this time.

As your baby grows, you’ll likely notice he can go longer between feeds because he’ll start drinking more at each feeding as his stomach capacity increases. This will naturally allow you to space the feeds further apart, which might make it easier for that last feed to fall right into the bedtime routine without any disruption.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

I’m thrilled to hear the advice has been helpful, and it’s great that you’re getting more sleep!

At 12 weeks, your little one may be ready for an earlier bedtime. Since he’s currently going down at 9:30 p.m., you can gradually adjust his schedule to find the perfect bedtime. Start by moving his bedtime 15 minutes earlier, while continuing to wake him at 7 a.m. If he adapts well and falls asleep easily, you can shift it another 15 minutes earlier after 3 days, bringing it to 9 p.m., and continue in these small increments every 3 days until you find the time that suits him best. If he has trouble settling at the new time, it might mean he’s not quite ready for the change, and you can pause before trying again.

I hope that helps!
Emma

[Emma H]

No worries at all.

I hope she starts feeling better soon!

[Emma H]

No worries at all!

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

I’m so glad to hear that the later bedtime is working well for you and that the video on purple crying resonated with your experience. It sounds like you’re making wonderful progress!

To determine when to make bedtime earlier, keep an eye out for signs that your baby is getting sleepy earlier in the evening and settling into a deep sleep—meaning they sleep for a few hours before waking for a feed, rather than waking every 30-45 minutes or less. When you see these patterns consistently, it’s a good indication that your baby might be ready for an earlier bedtime. You can gradually adjust bedtime by moving it earlier in 10-15 minute increments every few days until you reach the desired time.

Do keep in mind that babies generally sleep for a maximum of 10-12 hours overnight. Given that your little one wakes around 7/7:30 am, aiming for a bedtime of 7-7:30 pm would be the earliest I’d recommend.

Also, remember that bedtime will start to creep forward and settle to a consistent and generally earlier time by 4 months.

As for swaddling, it’s best to start transitioning out of it when your baby begins showing early signs of learning to roll over (N.B. Most babies learn to roll over between 4 – 7 months). These signs include:

• They’re starting to roll onto their shoulders or side, which you might see during playtime or diaper changes.
• They’re kicking their legs and moving around in a circle while on their back. This shows that your baby is developing the strength and coordination they need to roll over.
• They’re moving their hips from side to side and using their legs to lift their hips. This means that your baby is getting better control over their body and is preparing to roll over.

In the video titled “How to Dress Your Baby For Better Sleep,” I demonstrate these early signs and guide how to transition from a swaddle to arms out. If you haven’t watched it yet, I recommend giving it a look.

I hope this helps!

Emma