[Emma H]

Hi Catherine & Sébastien,

Thank you so much for your kind words about the course—I’m thrilled to hear that your daughter is sleeping well at night! I understand how challenging daytime naps can be, especially when your little one resists sleep despite showing clear signs of tiredness.

At 3 months old, your daughter is becoming more aware of her surroundings, which can make daytime naps more difficult.

Before offering specific advice, I’d like to ask a few questions to better understand your situation:

1. What does her nap and bedtime routine currently look like?

2. What does a typical day for her involve? For example, what time does she usually wake up, and how many naps does she generally take throughout the day and what time are they?

3. Are you following the wake, feed, play, and sleep routine during the day?

4. Does she have a consistent wake-up time in the morning?

5. How are you currently helping her fall asleep? For instance, do you need to rock her to sleep, or does she fall asleep in your arms before you place her in the crib for that one nap?

6. Does she use a pacifier? If so, do you need to keep re-inserting it until she falls asleep, or does it stay in once she has it?

7. When she sleeps in your arms, is the room quiet and dark, or are you going about your day with her in a baby carrier?

8. How long is she typically staying awake between naps?

Once I have a better understanding, I can offer more tailored advice to help improve her daytime naps.

Looking forward to your response!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Paven,

It sounds like you’re doing a lot of great things for your little one, and I completely understand how challenging bedtime can be with an 8-week-old.

There are a few factors that might be contributing to the bedtime challenges you’re experiencing:

1. Newborn Sleep Patterns

At 8 weeks, your baby’s sleep patterns can be quite unpredictable – meaning their bedtime can and often does vary from night to night. This is because their circadian rhythm—the internal body clock that helps regulate sleep—isn’t fully developed yet. As your baby’s circadian rhythm matures around 4 months, you’ll notice bedtime becoming more consistent, typically falling within the same 30-minute window each night.

2. Late Bedtimes

Many newborns naturally have later bedtimes, often around 9, 10, or even 11 PM. Based on the timing of your baby’s last nap, it seems like you’re aiming for a bedtime around 7:30 or 8 PM. If your little one isn’t falling asleep at this time, it might be helpful to track when he actually settles into a deep sleep each night—the point where you can put him down and he stays asleep for a few hours. While the exact time might vary, tracking this can help you identify a pattern, even if it’s later than you expect.

3. The Period of PURPLE Crying

Another important thing to keep in mind is that at 8 weeks, your little one is likely reaching the peak of the Period of PURPLE Crying. This is a completely normal developmental phase characterized by increased fussiness, where your baby may sleep in short bursts, feed frequently, and want to be held almost constantly. (Not sure if you’ve had a chance to watch the video on this in Peaceful Dreams?)

During this time, it’s common to interpret these signs of fussiness as cues that a baby needs to go to bed, leading to what we call “bedtime false starts.” This is when your baby appears to fall asleep after being rocked, only to wake up shortly after, and this cycle can continue for an hour or a few hours before they finally settle into a deeper sleep.

Given that you’ve been finding bedtime challenging for a few weeks, and considering that the Period of PURPLE Crying typically begins around 2 weeks of age, gradually increasing and peaking between 6-8 weeks, it’s possible that this could be contributing to the difficulties you’re experiencing.

Does this sound like what you might be going through with your little one?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Gwendolyn,

It’s wonderful to hear that you’ve found the content and discussions helpful and that you’ve already seen improvements with your newborn.

I understand your concerns about your baby being overtired and how challenging it can be to help him transition to self-settling for better and longer stretches of sleep. Based on what you’ve shared, it seems like you’re on the right track with some great progress already.

Before I can provide specific advice, I was hoping you could answer a few questions to ensure I have a clear picture of what your little one’s days and nights look like. I apologize in advance for the detailed questions, as I know your time is precious with a newborn.

1. Based on what you have written, your son is 10 weeks old? Was he born on time or early?

2. It’s great that you have a set morning wake-up time. It’s not uncommon for the first wake window in the morning to be the shortest of the day. If he wants to go to sleep at 8:30 am, that’s okay. You mentioned that when he goes to sleep at 8:30 am, he then sleeps until 2/3 pm. Is this correct, or is he waking up earlier? If he is sleeping until 2/3 pm, have you tried capping his nap to give him more awake time during the day?

3. What does his day roughly look like? At this age, the timing might be all over the place, which is fine. I’m more interested in how many naps he is having and the length of these naps.

4. It sounds like he is spacing out his feeds now and having larger volumes when he does feed, which is great. From what you have written, it sounds like you might be following a wake, feed, play, feed, and then sleep routine?

5. How are you currently helping him fall asleep? When you answer this one, can you include what his nap and bedtime routine is?

6. Where is he sleeping during the day and the night? For example, is he sleeping in your arms or in a crib? If it is in a crib or sleep space, can you describe the environment?

7. It sounds like he goes to bed at 6 pm. Does he then sleep through until 1 am when he wakes up and continues to wake every hour until 8 am? Or does he go to bed at 6 pm and wake often? If so, what time is he waking, and are you feeding him for any of these wakes?

8. When he wakes overnight and you are feeding him, what is the environment like? For example, are the lights on, is he unswaddled, do you change his diaper (if so, when do you change it), do you burp him, etc.? Knowing this will help me come up with a plan on how you can encourage him to stay awake longer overnight to have larger feeds.

Thanks again for taking the time to answer these questions!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Monique,

Thank you so much for your message!

I’m glad to hear you’re feeling excited (“sommer,” as you’d say 😊) about the new nap routine.

It’s truly been wonderful supporting you and your little one over the past three months. I’ve loved hearing about the fantastic progress you’ve been making. I hope you’re all feeling more energetic now that you’re getting more sleep at night and enjoying your time with your little one even more!

Wishing you and your family all the best!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi BriAnne,

First of all, congratulations on the safe arrival of your little one!

It’s understandable that you find it a bit confusing when considering adjusted age. The main thing to remember is that when you’re tracking developmental milestones, including sleep, you should use your son’s due date, not his birth date, to determine his adjusted age. You should continue to use his adjusted age until he turns 2 years old. After that, you can use his actual birth date for milestones and development tracking.

Regarding your question about his sleep, it’s helpful to look at what’s normal for his age in terms of total sleep over 24 hours. Newborns typically sleep between 14-17 hours a day. However, sleeping for 2 hours less (12 hours) or 2 hours more (19 hours) than this average is still considered normal. The fact that your son is sleeping 12-14 hours a day and is content and calm during his awake hours is a positive sign.

Is 12-14 Hours of Sleep Enough?

While the average sleep for a newborn is around 14-17 hours, some babies do fine with slightly less. Since your son seems content and is actively engaging during his awake hours, it’s likely he’s getting enough rest for his needs.

It might also be helpful to note that if you’re breastfeeding, you might notice that your little one closes his eyes and continues to suck. Although he is continuing to suck, he might not be actively feeding at this point and is actually asleep. Often, we miss these little naps and only count the time they’re sleeping while in our arms or lying down in a crib or pram. So if you notice this happening with your little one, he might be getting more than 12-14 hours of sleep a day.

When to Consult Your Pediatrician

If you notice any changes in his behavior, such as increased fussiness, difficulty staying awake, or not feeding well, it might be worth discussing with your pediatrician.

However, at 2 weeks of adjusted age, you might also notice increased fussiness in the afternoons and evenings. This period of fussiness is normal and is called the Period of PURPLE Crying (I have a video on this topic in the course if you’re interested in find out out more and strategies on how to manage it).

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Paven,

Based on what you’ve shared, it’s absolutely okay for your baby to have a later bedtime, especially since you’ve observed that he’s sleeping well with a 9:30 PM schedule. Since he’s getting longer stretches of sleep at this time, it might be worth sticking to it consistently for a few days to see if it reduces those bedtime false starts. If it does, that’s a good sign that 9:30 PM could be the right schedule for him at this stage.

If you’re aiming for a 9:30 PM bedtime and he’s taking 6 naps during the day, that’s perfectly fine as long as he’s getting enough total sleep. You’ll likely notice that he has more frequent, shorter naps (or brief naps while feeding) during the fussier late afternoon and evening hours, which is normal.

The good news is that while 9:30 PM might seem late right now, his bedtime will likely start to shift earlier as he approaches 3-4 months of age. As his circadian rhythm matures, his bedtime will naturally move forward, likely settling around 7-8 PM. Plus, the fussy period known as the Period of PURPLE Crying will start to decrease and usually disappear by 3-4 months, making bedtime smoother.

If he’s naturally waking up around 7 AM, I recommend maintaining this consistent wake-up time, even with the later bedtime. Keeping his wake-up time stable will support the maturation of his circadian rhythm, which will, in turn, help gradually bring bedtime earlier and make it more predictable.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Monique,

It’s been great to see how your little one has progressed over the last three months. I’ve really enjoyed your updates!

Regarding naps, it sounds like her sleep environment is great, and she has a regular routine. It also seems she has a set nap schedule that she is following.

Now, we need to focus on teaching her how to fall asleep in her crib for naps. It shouldn’t take too long to learn this skill, as she can already do it at bedtime.

Are you open to slightly changing up the nap routine? Here’s what I suggest:

• Go into her room and put her in her sleeping bag (if she wears one).
• Close the blinds, turn off the light, and shut the door.
• Read a book with a nightlight on. Darkening the room first and then reading the book can be a stronger signal that it’s time to relax and get ready for sleep.
• When the book is finished, turn off the nightlight, rock her in your arms while singing a lullaby, and then place her in the crib and walk out of the room, closing the door behind you.

Since she’s used to you walking out of the room after placing her in the crib at bedtime, this might help encourage her to fall asleep for naps as well.

Once you’re out of the room, complete the “watch and listen” part of the pyramid while observing or listening to the monitor. At this age, staying in the room can be more stimulating and frustrating for them since they know you’re there but not doing anything. Leaving the room can minimises this frustration and distraction, allowing her the opportunity to fall asleep.

If she calls out but the volume and consistency remain the same with pauses in between, continue to watch her on the monitor and give her the space and time to fall asleep. If her call-outs increase in volume and intensity with no break between cries, go in and move up the pyramid as needed, remembering to move back down the pyramid. Once you enter the room, stay until she falls asleep. Entering and exiting the room can be confusing for them and cause more resistance to sleep.

I hope this helps!
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Simona,

It sounds like a couple of factors could be contributing to the frequent wake-ups at the start of the night.

The first factor is the timing of his last nap, specifically when it ends. As you noticed, when his nap ended at 6:45 pm, he wasn’t ready for bed at his usual bedtime. This is because he needed more time to build up his sleep pressure. To ensure he is tired enough to fall asleep and stay asleep at bedtime, you may need to cap this nap. If possible, try to cap his last nap of the day to end by 5:30 pm. If that seems too long of a wake window, you could try 6:00 pm and see what happens.

The second factor is the pacifier. It might be causing him to wake up between sleep cycles and making it more challenging to fall back asleep if it falls out. If you have the time and energy, I would recommend gradually fading out the pacifier.

It also sounds like extending his naps after he wakes doesn’t improve his sleep overnight. In fact it seems to be making it worse. So if you’re happy to I recommend you just get him up when he wakes from a nap and start the next wake window. And spend this time helping him learn how to fall asleep on his own in the crib. Once he learns this skill he should naturally start to extend his naps.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Lydia,

It’s great that you’ve already discussed all this with your doctor.

It sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job despite the challenges, and it’s completely understandable to feel exhausted. It’s also wonderful that your husband is there to help and give you some time to recover from the C-section.

To help improve your little one’s sleep, here are a few things you can try:

1. Have a Consistent Wake Time: From around 6-8 weeks of age, your little one’s circadian rhythm starts to influence his sleeping patterns, especially overnight. To support this development, it’s helpful to start waking him up within the same 30-minute window every morning. This signals to his internal clock that it’s time to wake up and helps establish a more consistent bedtime. If you haven’t already, decide on a regular wake-up time for your baby. And when deciding on this time it might be helpful to know that babies are naturally early risers, and waking up between 6-7 am is very normal.

2. Wake, Feed, Play, Sleep Routine: At this age, your little one should begin to stay awake following daytime feeds. This might not happen with every feed initially, but you should see this pattern developing over time. Once this pattern emerges, you can start adopting the wake, feed, play, and then sleep routine. Following this routine consistently may allow you to lay him down in the crib when he shows tired signs, as his reflux might be less severe since the feed would have occurred more than 20-30 minutes before nap time.

   Additionally, you mentioned that he passes a lot of gas while feeding and may be using feeding as a way to relieve gas. It might be helpful to know that when milk enters his stomach, it triggers the gastro-colic reflex. This reflex causes his colon to contract, moving previously eaten food through the digestive system, which is why babies often poop and pass gas while feeding. By following the wake, feed, play, and sleep routine during the day and feeding him at the start of his wake window, you might notice he is more settled at nap time (so less gassy) and less bothered by his reflux.

3. Try the settling pyramid for daytime naps: Once he adopts the wake, feed, play, and then sleep routine, try using the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep. By doing this for some naps during the day, you familiarize him with falling asleep in the crib (rather than on you), giving him the opportunity to practice and develop this skill.

4. Continue following a pre-sleep routine before naps and bedtime: Having a consistent routine that you follow before bedtime and nap time will become a sleep cue which tells your little one it’s time to sleep. It sounds like you already have a consistent bedtime routine which is great. The nap routine could be a shorter version of the bedtime routine.

5. Be Mindful of Sneaky Naps: At this age, it’s easy to mistake a baby’s tired signs for hunger signs because they can look very similar. When this happens, parents might feed their baby when they wake up, and then, when they show what seem to be hunger signs again shortly after (which are really tired signs), feed them again. During this feeding, the little one might have a very brief sleep. This short nap during feeding can reduce their sleep pressure, the primary driving force for sleep at this stage. As a result, they no longer feel tired and won’t go down for a proper nap.

   To avoid these sneaky naps, try to combine age-appropriate wake windows with your baby’s unique signs and follow the wake, feed, play, and then sleep routine during the day.

6. Try Moving the Last Feed of the Night Earlier in the Bedtime Routine: As I mentioned earlier, when your little one feeds, his gastro-colic reflex is triggered, which can result in him passing more wind then usual. Additionally, having a feed as the last step of the bedtime routine often means you’ll need to hold him upright for 20-30 minutes to help relieve the reflux. So if possible, try moving the feeding to earlier in the bedtime routine and see if this makes it easier to settle your little one to sleep.

7. Consider Shifting His Bedtime: If you find yourself needing to rock him for more than 20 minutes to help him fall asleep after completing the bedtime routine, it might indicate that his bedtime isn’t quite right. For the next few days, track the time he actually falls asleep at night. If you notice a consistent time when he falls asleep, consider adjusting his bedtime to match this natural sleep time. For example, if his current bedtime is 9:00 pm but he consistently falls asleep around 9:45 pm, try making 9:45 pm his new bedtime, as this aligns better with his natural sleep pattern.

Do these tips sound manageable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Sarah,

It’s great to hear Cyrus’ slept through the night after his two midnight parties!

I wonder if he’s fighting naps because he isn’t necessarily tired and might need more awake time between naps. This would mean transitioning from 4 naps to 3. So, it would be helpful to see if dropping a nap makes it easier for him to settle to sleep in the crib when you use the settling pyramid.

When you do transition to 3 naps a day, to ensure Cyrus gets 5 feeds a day you could try this feeding schedule.

1. 1st Feed: Right after waking up in the morning.
2. 2nd Feed: After the early morning nap (first nap of the day).
3. 3rd Feed: After waking from the midday nap (second nap of the day).
4. 4th Feed: After waking from the afternoon nap (third nap of the day).
5. 5th Feed: During the bedtime routine.

This schedule should allow you to continue the wake, feed, play, and then sleep routine during the day (except at bedtime, where the routine would be wake, feed, play, feed, then bedtime).

Does this seem doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Katerina,

I look forward to hearing how it goes!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Lydia,

It would be so challenging seeing him upset.

You mentioned that you have been in contact with his doctor and they’ve given you medication for reflux. Did they investigate and rule out intolerances or allergies as well?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Melina,

I thought the morning wake up time might be a challenge! Sorry for that! Aiming for a consistent wake-up time of 7:00 am is a great start. Once she’s used to that, you can gradually push it back to 6:30 am if needed.

It’s so nice to hear that your mom is on board too! That consistency will be really helpful.

If the pacifier isn’t causing issues and she can stay asleep without it, then that’s one less thing to worry about.

Regarding the earlier bedtime, focusing on helping her learn to fall asleep in the crib and maintaining a consistent wake-up time is a great start. These changes might be enough to smooth out the bedtime challenges.

Let me know how things go!

Emma

[Emma H]

Dear Katerina,

It’s great to hear that Helen has been waking up between 6:00 am and 6:15 am instead of 5:00 am for the last few mornings! 🙂

Regarding your concern about her sometimes becoming vocal and not going back to sleep after her early morning feed and poop, as you mentioned, it’s quite normal for babies and toddlers to naturally wake up between 6:00 am and 7:00 am. However, I understand that you’d like her to sleep a little later, even just by half an hour.

You can try to shift her circadian rhythm back even further by following the steps below. These strategies might not always work since babies are naturally early risers, but they are worth a try:

1. Gradually Shift Her Bedtime: To help Helen wake up 30 minutes later, we need to shift her bedtime 30 minutes later. For the next week, shift her bedtime by 15 minutes every 3 nights. Once she is going to bed at 8:30 pm, keep it at that time for 2 weeks and see if her morning wake-up time adjusts accordingly.

2. Keep the Lights On Until Bedtime: Keeping the lights on bright until bedtime will help keep her awake and gradually shift her circadian rhythm. This can signal to her body that it’s not yet time to sleep.

3. Keep Her Bedroom Dark Until It’s Time to Get Up: Light exposure in the morning tells our circadian rhythm that it’s time to start the day. Ensure her room stays dark until your desired wake-up time to encourage her to sleep longer.

4. Delay the Morning Feed: Eating is another signal to the circadian rhythm that it’s time to wake up. To encourage her to shift her wake-up time by 30 minutes, try delaying the morning feed by 15 minutes every 3 days until it’s happening at 6:30/6:45 am. Then maintain this schedule.

5. Shift Her Entire Schedule: Consider shifting her entire schedule, including naps and feeds, by 15 minutes every 3 days while you make these changes. This helps ensure that all her activities align with the new wake-up time.

I hope these tips help!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Melina,

No worries about the delayed reply, and I’m thrilled to hear that the catnap issue resolved spontaneously!

In regards to the bedtime challenges there are a few things that might help:

1. Consistent Wake-Up Time:

   • The variability in her wake-up time between workdays and non-workdays might be contributing to the bedtime issues. Babies thrive on consistency, and maintaining a regular wake-up time helps keep their circadian rhythm stable, which also supports a consistent bedtime. I know it’s challenging, but would you be open to aiming for a consistent wake-up time of around 6:30 am on your non-workdays? This still falls within a 30-minute window of her 6 am wake-up on your workdays. If that is too challenging would you be able to manage a 7am wake up on your non-work days?

2. Adjusting Her Bedtime and Nap Pre-Sleep Routine:

   • It sounds like she might be struggling to self-settle, which could be why it takes her two hours to fall back asleep overnight and why you need to rock her in your arms. I think that when her eyes start to droop and her limbs begin to relax she might be in Stage 1 NREM sleep. This would explain why she wake up when you lay her down. Therefore, to help her fall asleep at bedtime and during the night after a feed, would you be open to trying to lay her down in the crib before she reaches this stage and then use the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep? If this is something you can do then it would be great if you could discuss this new routine with your mum, so that she can do this same routine when she has your little one during your workdays.

3. Pacifier Consideration:

   • If you try step 2 and she still struggles to fall asleep at bedtime and wakes frequently during the night, needing the pacifier reinserted repeatedly, the pacifier might be the issue. How would you feel about removing the pacifier just before she falls asleep? If you’re open to this, here’s how you can do it:

     • Let her suck on the pacifier during the pre-sleep routine.
     • Lay her in her crib with the pacifier still in her mouth.
     • Use the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep.
     • Just before she drifts off, gently remove the pacifier by placing your little finger between the pacifier and the corner of her mouth.

     For some babies, this works well. If she stirs more, you can use the settling pyramid to help her. But, if she wakes up fully, you have a couple of options:

     • Option 1: Continue using the pacifier and put it back in her mouth when needed. She should have the fine motor skills to do this herself around 7 – 8 months of age. If this becomes too frequent, consider removing the pacifier completely or only using it at the start of the pre-sleep routine.
     • Option 2: Use the pacifier for fussy times during the day and at the start of the pre-sleep routine, but not for sleep. Give her the pacifier at the start of the routine, then remove it before laying her in the crib, and use the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep without it.

4. Earlier Bedtime:

   • Sometimes, shifting bedtime to an earlier time can help eliminate bedtime challenges. Would it be possible to start the bedtime routine a bit earlier, around 7 or 7:30 pm, and aim for her to be asleep by 7:30 or 8:00 pm?

I hope this helps a little!

Emma