[Emma H]

Hi Jennifer,

It’s so good to hear you’ve found the course and the YT videos helpful.

Unfortunately, it’s quite common for babies to become more challenging to soothe to sleep overnight as they get older. In the newborn stage, they often fall asleep easily during feedings, but as they grow and become more aware of their surroundings, and start cycling through four stages of sleep, it can be harder to get them to fall and stay asleep after night feeds.

Before I can provide suggestions on how to address this and the daytime naps, I have a few questions:

• You mentioned your husband is more successful at transferring your little one to bed after overnight feeds. Have you noticed anything different in his approach or the techniques he uses?

• Regarding your bedtime routine (feed, nappy change, book, sleep sack, rocking, and lullabies), does he rock her to sleep after the lullaby? How do you usually help her fall asleep during the day and at bedtime?

• Does she use a pacifier?

• How many naps does she take during the day?

• Does she wake up at a consistent time each morning?

• Do you follow a wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day?

• Is she breastfed or formula-fed? If breastfeeding, does she accept breastmilk from a bottle?

• What’s her general daily schedule like, including wake-up, nap times, and bedtime?

You also mentioned that she has woken up three times in the past week after just 30 minutes of sleep. This might just be a temporary phase. If it continues for more than two weeks, then it might be developing into a habit that we need to address. But, to prevent it from becoming a regular pattern, you could try a couple of things:

1. Ensure she is truly tired at bedtime. The timing of her last nap can significantly impact her nighttime sleep. As babies grow, they can stay awake longer between the last nap and bedtime. You might need to shorten her last nap or adjust her bedtime slightly to ensure she builds up enough sleep pressure to fall asleep and stay asleep.

2. If she wakes after 30 minutes, listen carefully. If she calls out and then pauses before calling out again, give her some space to settle herself back to sleep. However, if her cries escalate in intensity without pauses, it’s best to go and soothe her back to sleep, keeping the room dark and quiet.

Thanks,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Sarah,

I am so sorry for my slow reply. The last few days have been quite hectic, as I had to take my youngest to the emergency room last night because she was having trouble breathing.

At this age, it’s common for babies to start exploring their hands and begin mouthing a lot. This might explain why he’s started mouthing during nap times. If this new activity is the cause, it should settle down within a week. However, he might also find comfort in sucking his hand. You could try leaving the hand he prefers to suck out of the swaddle while keeping the other hand swaddled to see if this helps. Initially, this might disrupt his sleep a bit, but if sucking on his hand helps him self-soothe, his sleep should start to improve after a couple of days.

In the meantime, ensure you continue to offer full feeds when he wakes from a nap. Feeding him in a bright and somewhat stimulating environment can help keep him awake during these times.

Additionally, if you haven’t started already, try to wake him up at the same time every morning, within a 30 minute window. This consistency helps develop his circadian rhythm and stabilises the timing of his first nap.

As babies grow, their sleep patterns mature, and they begin to cycle through four distinct stages of sleep. This development usually occurs between 3 to 5 months but can sometimes happen earlier. With matured sleep patterns, you’ll notice his naps become more consistent in length, unlike the more varied nap lengths you might have seen in the newborn stage. For example, let’s say during the newborn stage your baby might have had a 20 minute nap, followed by a 2 hour nap, followed by a 20 minute nap, then a 30 minute nap, but now he consistently naps for 45 minutes every single time.

Regardless of whether your baby’s sleep pattern has fully matured to include all four stages or is still in two stages, the methods you use to help him sleep don’t need to change. The same techniques (outlined in the course) for encouraging good sleep habits remain effective regardless of whether they are experiencing two stages of sleep or four.

I hope this helps, and things settle down soon!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Natalee,

It’s great to hear that your little one is enjoying more freedom and sleeping for longer stretches since transitioning from swaddling!

The behaviour you’re describing, where he’s flailing his arms and squealing in the middle of the night, is actually quite common among babies who have just made this switch. They’re often excited by their new ability to move more freely, which can indeed lead to some lively middle-of-the-night sessions.

As your baby gets used to the new freedom, the novelty of being able to move and play with his arms freely during the night should gradually decrease.

In saying that, it’s important to avoid falling into habits that might reinforce these new patterns of waking up during the night. To do this, it’s important to reinforce the idea that nighttime is for sleeping. Here are some strategies to help maintain this:

1. Keep the sleeping environment conducive to sleep. This includes ensuring the room is dark, is at a comfortable temperature, and is free from sudden loud noises. If he starts to play or squeal, the less stimulating environment might encourage him to go back to sleep sooner.

2. Limit Interaction During Night Wakings: When he wakes up at night, and he needs a feed or a diaper change try to keep interactions quiet and boring. Keep the lights dim and your voice low. This helps signal that it’s not playtime.

3. Wait and Watch: Sometimes, giving him a moment to self-soothe without immediate intervention can encourage him to go back to sleep on his own. As long as he is safe and not distressed (so he is happily playing), it’s ok to leave him and give him the space and time to play and then fall back to sleep on his own. If you find that he needs help falling back to sleep, and it’s not a typical feeding time, use gentle methods like the settling pyramid or rocking rather than feeding him back to sleep.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Angela,

Firstly, it’s not too late, and you do not need to let her cry it out.

It sounds like her nights are going smoothly, which is great! And you’ve already created the ideal sleep environment.

Short naps can be extremely frustrating and tiring!

I just have a few questions, so when you have time can you answer the questions below?

1. Does she use a pacifier/dummy?

2. Are you still swaddling her or has she transitioned to a sleeping bag?

There are a few options you can try with your little one for daytime naps.

Option 1: Modify the Settling Pyramid to incorporate rocking

I am unsure if this would be helpful, but instead of patting her while lying in the crib, you can gently rock her side to side. So you would place one hand on her bottom and gently rock her. This option gives her the movement she may currently need to fall asleep.

Option 2: Work up to the Settling Pyramid

Instead of trying the settling pyramid, you could settle her to sleep in your arms but gradually reduce the rocking and the amount of hands-on strategies you’re using just before she falls asleep. Reducing the movement just before she falls asleep will help her learn to fall asleep without movement. This will make moving to the settling pyramid easier when she is ready.

So it looks like this.

Complete your nap/bedtime routine and finish by singing a lullaby or a song while you rock her in your arms. This song and routine will become her sleep cue and something you can use when you move to use the settling pyramid.

– When you finish the lullaby or song, continue rocking her while you pat her bottom and ‘shush’.

– If she remains calm, stop rocking her and just continue patting her bottom and shushing.

– If she remains calm, stop patting her and just continue shushing.

– If she remains calm, stop shushing and simply hold her quietly until she falls asleep.

– Then, place her in the crib.

Does this make sense?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

From what you’ve recorded I think it might be worth shifting her nap time back. It seems like most of the time she isn’t having a nap and when she does fall asleep she is having a short nap. One possible reason for these short naps is that she has enough sleep pressure to fall asleep but not enough to stay asleep for a long nap. And then on the days she doesn’t nap, she just isn’t tired.

How do you feel about pushing her nap time to 12 pm?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

It’s great to hear that she’s finding it easier to fall asleep for her daytime naps.

If she’s protesting more than usual at bedtime (and she had a nap that day), it might be because she’s not tired enough for her usual bedtime. You could try pushing her bedtime back a bit, from 6:30 pm to maybe 7:00 or 7:30 pm. If you do shift her bedtime later, keep waking her up at her regular time in the morning. This will help ensure her nap schedule stays consistent each day.

When you do use the garbage bag, as it is black, it can cause the room to heat up.

Another temporary option is static-cling blackout blinds. I recently tried out some static-cling blackout blinds called ergoPouch Window Blockout, and they were pretty effective. They blocked out the light well, stayed in place, and the backing was white, which helped keep the room cooler than other portable blackout options. I also liked that you can still open a window or door to let some air in, which isn’t always possible with portable blackout blinds that use suction cups, and you can cut them to fit any window shape. However, there are a couple of drawbacks: the room is always dark unless you remove them after every sleep, and for the window, I was using it on, I needed two packets – as it was large.

However, I’ve seen larger static cling blackouts on Amazon, and some brands also have velcro for easy attachment and removal. This could let you use the blinds just for naps and take them down during the day, although I’m unsure if the velcro tape will damage the window frame paint when removed.

I hope that helps,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Maddie,

Having a similar bedtime and naptime routine will be helpful for your little one, as consistency is key to helping her learn this new skill. The naptime routine should be a condensed version of the bedtime routine.

If your partner could watch the course, that would be great. Then, you’ll both start with the same knowledge, and you can tweak the strategies to what you both feel will work for your little one.

I would keep feeding her overnight when she wakes (as you both need to get back to sleep as quickly as possible) and just keep your focus on helping her learn how to fall asleep in her crib independently for naps and bedtime. Once she learns this skill, the overnight feeds will naturally reduce.

At this age, they become super distracted during daytime feeds (as they just want to play). In these instances, feeding her in a quiet room with the lights dimmed during the day can be helpful to ensure she has full feeding. I would only do this when you need to feed her when she wakes up from a nap. I wouldn’t recommend feeding her in a dark, quiet room just before nap time, as she is likely to fall asleep while feeding.

Ideally, you want her to be awake when you lay her down in the crib. But as your current focus is on teaching her how to fall asleep without feeding to sleep, settling her to sleep while she is lying in your arms is a great step forward. Just continue to make sure you stop the rocking and patting so that she falls asleep in your arms without any movement. Once she becomes comfortable with this, you can then move to try the settling pyramid again.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Angela,

I am so sorry for my slow response.

I had planned to join the forum yesterday, but my youngest had breathing issues and we had to rush to the emergency department. Thankfully, she’s doing fine now.

How have the past few days been, especially with the transition from the swaddle to the sleeping bag? Has she started to suck on her hands now that they’re free?

Regarding your question about sleep training, sleep training encompasses any method you use to improve your baby’s sleep. This includes establishing a bedtime routine, ensuring they sleep in a cool, dark, quiet room, and using strategies like the settling pyramid. These are all considered forms of sleep training that you can start from birth. However, if you’re thinking about methods like the check-in method—where you put the baby in the crib, leave the room, and return only for brief check-ins without picking them up—or the chair method—where you stay in the room but don’t interact physically— or CIO or the extinction method – where you place them in the crib and leave them to fall asleep – these are generally recommended for babies who are at least 4 months old.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

Giving her lunch at 11:30 should give her enough time to eat and poop (if needed) before her nap at 12:30 pm.

It should be easier for her to fall asleep at 12:30 pm compared to 11 am for two reasons:

• Increased Sleep Pressure: She’ll have been awake for an hour longer than usual, which builds more sleep pressure.

• Natural Body Rhythms: There’s a natural dip in circadian rhythms in the early afternoon that can make it easier to fall asleep.

If she starts settling into the 12:30 pm nap easily, you might experiment with gradually shifting the nap time to 12:00 pm. You could do this by moving the nap time up by 10 minutes every other day. However, it’s best to first see how well the 12:30 pm nap works for her.

She may be waking from her naps earlier because the room isn’t 100% dark. But it’s also common for toddlers to have shorter naps initially during a nap transition. Typically the naps will start to lengthen.

Having the room dark can definitely help them sleep for longer. So if you can try to make the room darker, there is no harm in trying. I have had success with using black garbage bags or bin liners to cover gaps in the windows or even hanging towels around the window edges to block out light. But if you can’t and the room is dark enough that you can’t read a book, it should be ok.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Maddie,

How have the last few nights gone?

It was great to hear that you settled her in her crib using shushing and patting after some rocking the other night. I know it currently requires more effort from you but with time it should get a lot quicker and easier.

You mentioned she wakes every 90 minutes to 2 hours overnight. This pattern suggests she wakes up completely after each sleep cycle and looks for what helped her fall asleep initially, like feeding or rocking. I also think the reason she stays awake after the 3 a.m. feed might be because she’s not tired, as she has already slept for about 7 1/2 hours. As a result, she is staying awake from a full wake window to build up enough sleep pressure to fall back asleep.

Teaching her to fall asleep independently in her crib could really help reduce these frequent overnight awakenings and stop the extended awake period from 3 to 5 a.m. Typically, once babies learn to self-soothe and fall asleep independently, the overnight wakes naturally reduce, as they can independently fall back to sleep between sleep cycles without needing help from another individual.

If you’re ready, it might be good to discuss with your partner and agree on a consistent approach to further develop her ability to fall asleep on her own. This involves separating the feeding from the sleeping process by continuing to feed her earlier in the nap and bedtime routines, then using the settling pyramid.

You mentioned that she doesn’t fall asleep while feeding from a bottle, so feeding her earlier during her nap routine might be easier than the bedtime routine. But it does sound like you managed to do this the other night.

While using the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep at bedtime, when she wakes overnight, continue to respond to her needs by feeding her, as I expect these will naturally start to drop off once she can fall asleep on her own.

Reviewing the course with your husband to see what he feels comfortable with could also be helpful—has he had a chance to watch it yet?

Regarding her morning wake-up time, aiming to get her up by 7 am at the latest could help. This way, her first nap would likely happen around 9 am, and subsequent naps would become more predictable too.

To distinguish between feeding out of habit (for comfort) and genuine hunger, observe the length of time she breastfeeds or the amount of formula she consumes. So when she breastfeeds overnight, start timing as soon as she latches and then stop timing when she is no longer actively feeding. You can tell she’s not actively feeding if there are no swallowing sounds, like little clicks, or if you don’t see her jaw moving. Longer feeding times typically indicate genuine hunger, whereas shorter durations are likely for comfort.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Maddie,

I’m glad to hear the support has been useful for you.

It sounds like she’s doing really well with her naps, getting two sessions that last between 90 minutes to 2 hours each. That’s excellent!

I do have a few more questions when you have a moment to respond:

• What times does she typically wake up for feeds during the night?
• What’s her usual wake-up time in the morning?
• Are you feeding her to sleep for her naps, or are you following a wake, feed, play, sleep routine? How are you settling her to sleep if it’s the latter?
• Regarding your question about telling the difference between feeding to sleep out of habit and genuine hunger, are you asking about the overnight feeds or during daytime feeds?

Your idea to adjust the bedtime routine by keeping the bedroom lights on until after the feed, then turning them off and putting her in her sleeping bag, sounds like a great strategy. Let me know if that helps her stay awake during the last feed.

As for responding to her cries at night, you would listen to the pattern of her crying. If she cries out and then stops, then cries out (so there are pauses between the crying), then I recommend you leave her and see if she falls back asleep. But if you notice that she cries, and then the next cry is louder, and each cry gets progressively louder, and there are no pauses, then that means she needs something from you.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

I am just wondering if the 14 months is a typo? In your first post, it mentions that she was 15 months. Is she now 16 months old?

When she skips her nap, how does she seem? Is she still cheerful, or does she become tired and fussy as the day continues?

Also, when she doesn’t nap at 11 am, does she fall asleep later, perhaps during a car ride or in the pram if you’re out for a walk?

Based on what you’ve shared, it doesn’t sound like she’s overtired by 11 am. It seems more likely that she’s just not tired enough to sleep, especially if she’s content to play in her crib during naptime. Since she’s generally not upset when you leave her alone in a quiet, dark room, and she doesn’t fall asleep, it suggests she might not need to nap so early.

If it works for you, consider pushing her nap time back to around 12:15 or 12:30 pm (when she is placed in the crib to fall asleep). If you go with a nap time at 12:30 pm you could offer her lunch at 11:30 am am. Also, encouraging her to nap in the afternoon takes advantage of the natural afternoon dip in her circadian rhythm, which may help her fall asleep.

If she starts napping at this new time but begins to resist going to bed at her usual time, you might need to move her bedtime slightly later, perhaps to 7 or 7:30 pm.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Maddie,

It’s great to hear that your little one has settled into your new home so well. I hope you’re all enjoying the new space!

Regarding her waking up at 3 am and staying awake for a couple of hours, I have a few questions that can help us figure out what might be causing this:

• Is the 3 am wake-up the only time she wakes up during the night? Or does she wake up at other times, but just has a feed and falls back to sleep quickly?

• Where do you usually feed her during these night wake-ups? What’s the setting like—do you keep the lights on or off, and do you change her diaper?

• Could you also share what her daytime nap schedule looks like—both the times and the duration of the naps?

The primary concern with feeding to sleep is that the bub may develop a strong association between feeding and sleeping. This means they might struggle to fall asleep without being fed, making it difficult for them to self-soothe or fall asleep under other circumstances. This can sometimes result in the bub waking frequently overnight, especially in the latter half of the night, as they need to feed to fall back to sleep.

If you’re looking to phase out feeding her to sleep, you still want to offer her a final feed in her bedtime routine, but you just start the bedtime routine with the feed. For example, you could start her bedtime routine with a feed in a well-lit room to help keep her alert. Following the feed, you could change her diaper, get her into her pyjamas, put her in her sleeping bag, close the blinds, turn on some white noise, read her a book, sing a lullaby, and then lay her down in the crib. From there, you can use the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep.

To help her stay awake during the last feed you want to create a stimulating environment that encourages her to stay awake. You can do that by:

• Keeping the lights on in the room.
• Choosing a slightly noisier room for feeding.
• Avoid putting her in her sleeping bag until after the feed.
• Talk to others in the room (if there are people there) while you are feeding her.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Vivian!

Thumb sucking is usually not a problem for young children and doesn’t typically harm the thumb. Most kids naturally stop sucking their thumb between ages 2 and 4. However, the American Dental Association suggests starting to gently discourage thumb sucking after age 4 to prevent future dental issues, such as misaligned teeth or changes in the roof of the mouth that can occur when permanent teeth start coming in.

By around 7 months, babies can start to find comfort in a soft toy or a lovey. However, it’s best to avoid introducing any soft toys before 7 months due to the increased risk of SUDI (Sudden Unexpected Death in Infancy).

Pacifiers are perfectly fine to continue using after 6 months and can be particularly handy during car rides.

Regarding signs of tiredness, yawning is usually an indicator of tiredness. You could try changing his activity to see if he perks up. If he continues to seem fussy or needs more interaction to stay content, it’s likely he’s tired. Like many things with little ones, figuring out what works can be a bit of trial and error.

I hope this makes things a bit clearer!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Emma,

It’s great the diarrhoea has finally cleared up. I wonder if that might have been the cause of his sudden change in behaviour, as the timing lines up?

It also sounds like the overnight wakes are getting slightly better in that he is falling back to sleep after the feed and the time between the feeds seem to be getting slightly longer. On the 9th of April you mentioned he was waking every 1 -2 hours and now it’s every 2 -3 hours which is slightly better.

And it also sounds like maybe the day sleeps are getting a bit better in that you can lay him down in the co-sleeper for the nap?

Based on how often he wakes up during the night, it seems like two things might have happened. The first thing that happened was for some reason he started waking up between sleep cycles. This might have been due to some discomfort, possibly from the diarrhoea or pain at the vaccination site, or something else entirely. To soothe him back to sleep, you’ve naturally been feeding him, which might have led him to expect more feedings during these times. As a result, he could now be waking up more often because he expects to be fed.

Here’s what you can try to help reduce these frequent night wakings:

1. Identify when he is waking overnight due to hunger and when he is waking due to comfort.

Document each overnight feed for a few days to differentiate between hunger-driven and comfort-driven wakings. For breastfeeding, note the duration of each feed; for bottle feeding, record how much he drinks.

After collecting this information, review it to see which feeds were likely due to genuine hunger — indicated by longer breastfeeding times or higher amounts of milk consumed — and which were likely for comfort, shown by shorter feeds or less milk consumed.

2. Gradually Reduce Comfort Feeds

For the comfort feeds you want to gently reduce these comfort feeds. This involves decreasing the duration of breastfeeding or the volume of bottle-feeding slightly each night.

• For Breastfeeding: Begin by shortening each comfort feed by about 1 to 2 minutes every night. Continue reducing the feeds until the feedings last less than five minutes. Once they’re under 5 minutes, you can stop feeding and instead use the ‘Settling Pyramid’ strategy or step 3 to soothe him to sleep.

• For Bottle-Feeding: Reduce the volume given during comfort feeds by ½ to 1 ounce each night. Continue reducing the amount until it’s less than 2 ounces. At that point, switch from feeding to using the strategies from the ”Settling Pyramid’ or step 3 to soothe him to sleep.

3. For comfort-driven wakes, use other soothing strategies to help him fall asleep

If he wakes up during the night looking for comfort, and you cannot settle him to sleep using the settling pyramid you can try this gentler approach. Gently rock or bounce him in your arms and gradually reduce the amount of hands-on strategies you’re applying while he is in your arms. For example, when he is lying in your arms, rock him, as you gently pat his bottom and ‘shush’ him. Then, as he settles down, stop rocking him (so stand or sit still) and continue patting his bottom and shushing. If he remains calm, stop patting him and continue shushing. Then stop shushing so that he falls asleep in your arms while you’re standing still. Then, place him in the crib. Stopping the rocking and patting before he falls asleep helps him become comfortable with falling asleep without movement (so he is not reliant on movement to fall asleep). This will make it easier to move to using the pyramid technique when you’re both ready.

4. Try the settling pyramid if he will let you and you have the time and energy.

As he seems to be generally a bit more content and the diarrhoea has settled down, do you think he might be more receptive to laying down in the crib after you complete the nap or bedtime routine? If you do think so, try the settling pyramid again as this gives him a chance to practice falling asleep in the crib with your support which is a key component to getting him to sleep for longer stretches overnight. If you need to climb to the top of the pyramid and pick him up, check your energy levels. If you have the time and energy, you can settle him back down, and when he is calm, put him back in the crib and descend the pyramid following his cues. If you don’t have the energy or time, or he is too distressed, settle him to sleep in your arms, using the gentler steps I outlined in step 3.

5. Just try the first nap of the day

If you don’t have the energy or time to apply the settling pyramid for every nap, just use it for the first nap of the day. Babies tend to find it easier to fall asleep for this nap, so you’re more likely to have success.

6. Feed him in a sunny, distraction-free room for daytime feeds

It might be worth feeding him in a quieter room during the day to ensure he is having bigger feeds. This can sometimes help to reduce the need for overnight feeds.

7. Try lowering the room temperature

If you can, you could try lowering the room temperature in the bedroom to around 21 degrees and see if this helps improve his sleep. Babies tend to find it easier to sleep in a cooler room, plus their core body temperature needs to drop just before sleep (which is why having a bath as part of the bedtime routine can be so helpful). So lowering the temperature might help. If adjusting the temperature isn’t feasible, don’t worry too much about it.

There are also additional strategies in the course lesson titled “Managing the 4 Month Sleep Regression” which you might find helpful. So if you haven’t already, make sure you check that one out.

Also, the AAP and Red Nose Australia recommend you room-share (so the baby sleeps in your bedroom) until at least the first 6 months. So I do recommend they stay in your bedroom for the first 6 months. If you can set the crib up in your room then that would be great.

I hope that helps!

Emma