[Emma H]

Hi Caro,

We had a lovely Christmas. The kids were very excited and had a great day playing with their cousins.

I really hope you had a lovely time with your family too!

In regards to your question about wake windows—when babies have a short nap, it’s common for their wake window to also be shorter. For example, your little one might only tolerate being awake for around 1.5 hours after a short nap.

That said, if he’s fighting sleep during the day, it could be a sign that he’s not quite ready for his nap yet.

Here are a few reasons why this might happen and some tips to help:

Not Tired Enough to Fall Asleep

• When he starts showing tired signs, try changing up the activity or scenery (e.g., move to another room or head outside).
• If he calms down and is happy to continue playing, it’s likely those signs were boredom rather than tiredness (they can look very similar!).
• If he remains fussy and upset despite the change, this indicates he’s likely tired and ready for sleep.

2. Feeding Close to Nap Time

• If he’s feeding close to nap time, it’s possible he’s falling asleep briefly while feeding without you realizing it. This short nap during a feed can reset his wake window, making it harder to settle him when you try to put him down.

• To avoid this, whenever you can try to follow the wake, feed, play, sleep routine. Feeding him in a bright room with minimal distractions can encourage a full feed at this time.

• If you find he’s too distracted in a bright room and is having shorter feeds, you can try feeding him in a darker, quieter space just after he wakes. This can help him focus on the feed and get a full feed in one go.

• If you do need to feed him before his nap, keep the room brightly lit and full of distractions to help him stay awake during the feed. And when he is feeding, pay attention to whether he’s actively feeding—this is when you can hear him swallowing after every few sucks. If the swallowing slows or stops, he’s likely drifting off to sleep.

The other thing to note is that at this age it is generally difficult to transfer them from your arms to the crib. This is because daytime naps are primarily driven by sleep pressure, and a large portion of their daytime sleep occurs in light REM sleep. During this stage, babies are more sensitive to changes in movement, temperature, or noise, making them more likely to wake during transfers.

That said, if you’re currently settling him to sleep in your arms, a helpful strategy is to gradually reduce the amount of movement you’re using to help him fall asleep. For instance, try holding him still as he drifts off, rather than rocking or swaying. Once he becomes accustomed to falling asleep without movement, transitioning to the settling pyramid will be easier, as he won’t rely on movement to fall asleep.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Gabriela,

It sounds like you’ve made significant progress over the past few weeks, especially at night. It’s fantastic that you’ve been able to reduce movement during the bedtime routine and that your little one is now sleeping in the crib through the night!

I completely understand how exhausting and frustrating it can feel when naps don’t seem to follow the same progress. To get a clearer picture and help you more effectively, I have a few questions:

1. Wake-Up Time: Does your little one have a consistent wake-up time? If so, what time does she typically wake?
2. Nap Schedule: How many naps is she taking during the day, and are they happening at regular times?
3. Nap Routine: Can you describe what her nap routine looks like?
4. Sleepwear: Does she wear a swaddle or a sleeping bag for naps?
5. Bedroom Environment: How is her bedroom set up for naps? For example, is it cool, dark (dark enough that you can’t read a book), and quiet?
6. Settling for Naps: You mentioned feeding her to sleep for naps, as well as walking and rocking. Are you transitioning to walking/rocking to fade out feeding, or does it depend on her needs?
7. Daytime Feeding: Do you know how often she feeds during the day and whether she gets distracted while feeding? If she’s distracted during the feed she has after waking from her nap, she might not take a full feed, which could lead to her needing to feed again soon after. Alternatively, since she’s feeding to sleep, it’s possible that when she wakes from a nap, she’s not very hungry because she ate shortly before sleeping. This could result in smaller feeds and her feeling hungry again not long after.

While you answer these questions I have two suggestions that might help:

1. Adjusting The Nap Routine Slightly

Given that she gets upset on entering the bedroom, you could try putting the swaddle or sleeping bag on in another room a few minutes before going into the bedroom and walking around with her in your arms (preferably lying down). This could give her some additional time to settle and get ready for sleep.

2. Feeding Adjustments

• After Waking: To encourage a full feed, try feeding her in a quiet room with natural light. If she gets distracted, close the blinds and turn off the lights to minimise distractions.
• Before Naps: If she’s hungry before nap time, consider feeding her in a bright, busy room to help keep her awake. Do this before putting on her swaddle or sleeping bag. It’s important to ensure she doesn’t fall asleep while feeding. When she’s awake and actively feeding, you’ll hear her swallowing every few sucks. If she’s sucking but not swallowing, she’s likely fallen asleep. If she does fall asleep while feeding, it’s best to gently place her in the crib without waking her. Waking her at this point to settle her into the crib using the settling pyramid may not work well, as even a brief nap while feeding can reduce her sleep pressure (the drive for sleep), making it harder for her to settle back to sleep.

Emma

• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 8 months, 3 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Jazmin,

It sounds like you already have a wonderful routine in place, which is fantastic!

Here’s how you might incorporate the settling pyramid for the first nap of the day:

1. Walk into nursery with your little one

2. Dim the lights. If possible I would consider turning them off and just leaving the bedroom door open to provide a bit of light.

3. Turn on the white noise

4. Swaddle

5. Close or leave the bedroom door slightly open to make the bedroom darker.

6. Hold your little one and gently rock her in your arms while walking around the room.

7. At this point I would start singing a lullaby or humming a song (as this will become another sleep cue for your little one).

8. Once you finish singing the lullaby you would lay your little one down in the crib and then start the first step of the pyramid (so the Watch and Listen Step). Then you would move up the pyramid if needed and then back down.

Another thing I recommend you do, if you haven’t already, is start waking your little one at the same time each morning. This will help make the timing of that first nap consistent.

Does this sound doable?
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Monica,

It sounds like the past few weeks have been challenging for you. You’re doing an amazing job, and I want to make sure I provide the right advice. So, when you have a moment, could you please answer a few questions to help me better understand your little one’s routine? I completely understand that this might feel like extra work, so thank you in advance for taking the time!

1. Does your little one have a consistent wake-up time? If so, what time is it?

2. During the day, are you following a wake, feed, play, sleep routine, or is it more of a wake, feed, play, feed, sleep routine?

3. How many naps is she taking each day?

4. You mentioned recently extending her wake windows, which seems to have helped—great work! How long is she staying awake between naps now?

5. Can you describe your nap and bedtime routines? (For example, any activities you do to help her wind down before sleep.)

6. How are you currently helping her fall asleep?

7. Once she’s asleep, are you holding her for the entire nap, or do you lay her down in your bed?

8. What is the environment like where she is sleeping – eg. is it cool, dark and quiet?

9. What time is her bedtime?

10. Is she waking during the night? If so, what times does she typically wake, and are you feeding her during any of these wakings?

11. Since she’s sharing a bed with you, I’m assuming she’s wearing a sleeping bag with her arms free—does that sound correct?

12. Is she using a pacifier?

13. Has she started rolling over from back to tummy or tummy to back yet? Once she can roll over, it’s perfectly fine for her to sleep on her tummy. Just a quick reminder: to keep her sleep environment safe, make sure there are no loose blankets or sheets, and that the mattress is firm to ensure her airways stay clear.

Thanks,
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

Thank you so much for your kind words! It’s so nice to hear that you’ve found the YT videos helpful and thanks for trusting me to join Peaceful Dreams!

From what you’ve shared, it sounds like your daughter has developed a strong association between being held and falling asleep. Seeking comfort from being held is common, but I understand how exhausting it can be and why it feels unsustainable, especially with your return to work approaching.

To provide you with the right advice, I have a few questions that will help me understand your situation better:

1. Sleep Routine:
   You mentioned your daughter needs to be held for all sleep—naps and the first part of the night. Could you walk me through your current routine for naps and bedtime? For example:

   • Do you swaddle her, dim the lights, and rock her to sleep in a dark room?
   • Are you sitting still in a rocking chair or moving around?
   • Do you sing her a lullaby as part of the routine?

2. Daytime Mood:
   During her awake times, is she generally content and settled, or does she seem fussy and need to be held often? This will help me determine if there might be any underlying issues contributing to her sleep challenges.

3. Feeding:
   Is she breastfed, formula-fed, or both?

4. Wake-Up Routine:
   You mentioned her consistent 7:30 a.m. wake-up time—great work maintaining that consistency! When she wakes in the morning and from naps, do you follow a wake, feed, play, sleep routine?

5. Wake Windows:
   With 4–5 naps per day, how long is she typically awake between naps?

6. Bedtime Behavior:
   With her bedtime around 8:30 p.m., what happens if you place her in the crib fully asleep at that time? If she wakes after 15–20 minutes, have you noticed any patterns in when she will finally settle and stay asleep? For instance:

   • Is there a specific time when someone holding her can stop rocking, patting, or shushing, and she stays asleep?
   • Does she ever connect her sleep cycles on her own while being held?

7. Overnight Routine:
   You mentioned feeding her at midnight, holding her for 20–25 minutes to reach a deep sleep, and then transferring her to the crib, only for her to wake again after 20–25 minutes. When she wakes, do you feed her each time, or do you primarily hold her to help her fall back asleep?

8. Sleeping Environment:
   Does she share a bedroom with you? If so, where is her crib in relation to your bed? For example, is it beside your bed, across the room, or in another part of the house?

Thanks in advance for answering all of these questions!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Gabriela,

How have the last few days been going?

From what you’ve written, it sounds like introducing the bottle after breastfeeding might have helped your little one settle into the wake-feed-play-sleep routine during the day—does that sound right?

I’m also curious, has putting the sleeping bag on outside of the bedroom made it easier for her to go into her room without crying as much?

It’s fantastic that you’ve been able to establish a consistent wake-up time and reduce the movement needed for her to fall asleep. These are big wins!

The next step I’d suggest is transitioning from settling her in your arms (while standing still) to laying her in the crib and using the settling pyramid. Do you feel ready to give this a try for the first nap of the day?

The other thing you mentioned is that she naps for about 30 minutes in the crib but sleeps much longer when she’s on you. This is actually quite common at this age, as many babies wake after one sleep cycle (30–45 minutes) because they haven’t yet learned how to link their sleep cycles independently.

One approach to help her nap longer is to gently assist her in linking those cycles. If you enter the room just before the end of her first sleep cycle, you can replicate the conditions that helped her fall asleep in the first place. For example, if she falls asleep in your arms while you’re shushing or patting her, you can quietly re-enter the room and start shushing or patting her again as she stirs. This can help guide her back to sleep before she fully wakes up. I go into more detail about this in the catnapping video in Peaceful Dreams, which might be worth revisiting for additional tips.

The reason she likely sleeps longer on you or in a carrier is that you’re naturally soothing her back to sleep as soon as she stirs—whether it’s through movement, shushing, or patting. This continuous, subconscious soothing allows her to transition between sleep cycles without fully waking up.

However, it’s important to note that while naps on you or in a carrier might last longer, the quality of sleep may not be as restorative as when she’s in her crib. When babies sleep on us, they’re often in a state of “habituated” sleep, meaning they’re trying hard to stay asleep despite being partially roused by noises, movements, or other disruptions. It’s like if you were napping on the couch in a busy living room, with people walking around, talking, or laughing. You might doze on and off but wouldn’t feel as rested compared to sleeping in your quiet, dark bedroom.

Encouraging her to nap in her crib, where the environment is cool, dark, and quiet, can help her achieve deeper, more restorative sleep. While her naps might be shorter at first, they will likely improve in both duration and quality over time as she learns to fall asleep and stay asleep in her crib.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

This is amazing!

You’ve done such a fantastic job implementing the settling pyramid and staying consistent—it’s so exciting to hear about the progress your little one is making. Well done!

I’d recommend keeping the current bedtime for the next 2 weeks to let things settle and build on this great momentum. After that, you can start gradually moving bedtime earlier.

The easiest way to do this is by shifting bedtime 10–15 minutes earlier every 3 days. Stick with the new time for those few days so she can adjust before moving it earlier again. Keep going gradually like this until you reach the bedtime that works for your family. Ideally, it’ll be one where your little one is sleeping for a few solid hours after being put to bed, without waking too soon. For many babies, 7–8 pm tends to work really well, but as always, follow her cues.

You’re doing an incredible job, and I’m so glad to hear how far you’ve come already!

Keep me updated—I can’t wait to hear how it all goes.

Emma

[Emma H]

Fantastic – Let me know how you go!

[Emma H]

Hi Joyce,

Thanks for taking the time to provide those details.

It’s wonderful to hear that your little one is generally content throughout the day. This suggests there’s likely no underlying medical reason for her needing to be held for naps. Instead, it may be a matter of habit and preference, and we can work on helping her learn to fall asleep in the crib rather than in someone’s arms.

Here are some suggestions to help achieve this:

Wake, Feed, Play, Sleep:

Continue following the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day.

Continue to Keep Her Morning Wake-Up Time Consistent Each Day

A regular wake-up time helps mature her circadian rhythm, making bedtimes more predictable. This consistency also stabilises the timing of her first nap, which in turn will help regulate the timing of her subsequent naps in the future.

Helping Her Learn to Sleep in the Crib
Ideally, we want her to drift off to sleep in the crib rather than in your arms. Now, I understand this might feel overwhelming, so would you be comfortable trying the settling pyramid just once a day—perhaps for the first nap, when babies often find it easier to fall asleep and you have more energy? Another option is to try it at bedtime, when both sleep pressure and the circadian rhythm are working in your favour.

Trying the settling pyramid once a day will give her the opportunity to learn this new skill and become familiar with a different way of falling asleep.

For the other naps (and bedtime if you don’t choose it for the settling pyramid trial), continue with your existing nap and bedtime routine with a small tweak. Instead of walking around and patting and rocking her until she falls asleep, it would be great to gradually stop these BEFORE she falls asleep. So it would look like this:

• Step 1: Gradually stop walking around the room. Stand still while continuing to sing the lullaby, gently patting and rocking her.

• Step 2: Stop rocking but continue patting and singing the lullaby.

• Step 3: Stop patting and just sing the lullaby until she falls asleep. This encourages her to associate the lullaby with sleep, without relying on physical movement.

By gradually removing these sleep associations, she’ll learn to fall asleep without constant movement, making it easier to transition to the settling pyramid approach later on when you’re ready.

If you’re not ready for the settling pyramid just yet, simply start by working towards helping her fall asleep without the walking, rocking and patting, and then move on to the pyramid when you feel more comfortable.

The other tweak you could make with the routine – given that she gets upset on entering the bedroom, is put the swaddle on in another room a few minutes before going into the bedroom and walking around with her in the swaddle in your arms. This could give her some additional time to settle and get ready for sleep.

Considering a Later Bedtime
You mentioned that putting her down at 8:30 p.m. often leads to her waking up within 15 minutes if she’s not held. At bedtime, both sleep pressure and her internal clock should help her stay asleep for at least a couple of hours. If she’s waking so soon, it might be that 8:30 p.m. is just too early. At this age, it’s common for babies to have a really late bedtime like 10:00 p.m. Have you noticed a time when she naturally falls into a deeper, longer sleep stretch at the start of the night, or a time when you can place her in the crib and she stays asleep? That could indicate her “true” bedtime.

Period of PURPLE Crying
Something else to be aware of is that she would be in the peak of the Period of PURPLE Crying. This is when bub’s are fussy/unsettled and really difficult to soothe. This fussy period tends to happen in the later afternoon and evenings. You might find that she wants to cluster feed at this time which is very normal.

How do you feel about these suggestions?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Monica,

Thank you so much for your detailed answers. They really helped me understand your little one’s daily routine more clearly.

It’s great to see that you’ve made some changes recently—such as following the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day, extending her wake windows, and making the room darker—and that you’re seeing some positive shifts in her sleep.

Here are a few suggestions that might make it easier to settle your little one to sleep:

1. Consistent Wake-Up Time
You mentioned that 6:30 a.m. seems to be a common wake-up time. How would you feel about making this her official start to the day, not allowing her to sleep past 6:30 a.m.? A consistent morning wake time will help regulate her circadian rhythm, making bedtime more predictable. It will also help solidify the timing of her first nap, which then leads to more consistent subsequent nap times.

2. Wake, Feed, Play, Sleep Routine
Continue following the wake, feed, play and then sleep routine during the day. In saying that, you mentioned giving a feed before the midday nap tends to lead to a longer sleep. If you’d like to continue this, try offering the feed in a well-lit area (like the living room) about 30 minutes before nap time. Keep a close eye on her to ensure she’s actively feeding (swallowing every few sucks) and not dozing off. If she falls asleep during the feed, even briefly, it can reduce her sleep pressure and make it harder for her to settle when you put her down for the nap.

3. Adjusting Wake Windows
I know you’ve recently extended her wake windows, but I’m wondering if she is fighting her naps because she simply isn’t tired enough to fall asleep. How you would feel about gradually extending her wake windows You could start with two hours for a few days and see if that makes it easier to settle her to sleep. If not, then you could try 2 hours 15 minutes for a few days and see the impact it has. If it is still challenging, you could then stretch it to 2 hours 30 minutes if needed.

4. Naps and Changes in Routine
It’s wonderful that she’s having long naps. If you’re currently holding her for naps, transitioning to settling her to sleep on the bed might shorten those naps at first. This could temporarily lead to needing four naps a day with shorter wake windows (around two hours rather than two-and-a-half hours). As she gets used to falling asleep on the bed, her naps should lengthen again.

5. Nap Routine
From your description, I imagine your current nap routine as something like this:

• Take her to the bedroom,
• Close blinds and curtains.
• Lay her on the bed and put her in her sleeping bag.
• Turn on white noise.
• Hold her close, rock gently, sing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,” and pat her back until she falls asleep.

You mentioned that you tried the settling pyramid for her morning nap and it almost worked. Have you had a chance to try it again? If not, would you feel comfortable using it consistently for the first nap of the day, or even over the next few days to see if it helps?

If that feels like too much right now, you could try a more gradual approach. This is where you would follow your usual nap routine, but you would stop rocking and patting her before she falls asleep. This small step will help her get used to falling asleep without movement, and this will make it easier to transition to the settling pyramid when you’re ready.

6. Nighttime Sleep and Tummy Sleeping

Nighttime sleep seems to be going well, which is great!

Regarding your question about tummy sleeping: You mentioned that she hasn’t fully rolled yet, but you’re having to flip her back onto her back overnight. Does this mean she’s rolling onto her tummy during sleep?

If that’s the case, I recommend discussing this with her paediatrician/doctor. They will know her medical history and can advise you on whether it’s safe for her to sleep on her tummy at this stage. Generally, once babies can roll onto their tummy on their own, there isn’t much you can do to prevent it, and you certainly can’t hover over them all night. So at this point, the recommendation changes slightly in that you still lay them on their back when you put them down to sleep, but you let them find their preferred sleeping position. So if they prefer to sleep on their tummy, you let them sleep on their tummy). You just need to make sure that the sleeping environment is safe and free from loose items.

How do you feel about these suggestions?
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jill,

What you have said is exactly right – just continue feeding him when he wakes overnight and what should happen is he will start to lengthen the time between feeds and the number of feeds will just start to drop off.

To help this happen though, I do recommend that when you hear him stirring overnight, you pause to make sure that he is truly awake, rather than just in REM sleep or cycling between sleep cycles.

You will be able to tell that he is truly awake by his noises. The call outs tend to be closer together (so no real pauses between) and persistent. If he is truly awake then go ahead and feed him.

If, after a few weeks he continues to wake frequently overnight, then you would help him drop those comfort feeds, focusing on the first half of the night first.
It’s great the last few mornings he has fallen back to sleep on his own – this just shows that he is starting to link those sleep cycles himself, instead of needing a feed to do so.

Does that make sense?
Emma

[Emma H]

Sounds like a great plan.

Hopefully, it goes smoothly!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Caro,

Thanks for answering all of my questions!

Based on what you said I have a few suggestions:

Transitioning Out of the Swaddle

As your little one is rolling over from back to tummy, it’s important for safety reasons to transition him out of the swaddle and allow his arms to be free. This ensures that if he rolls onto his tummy while sleeping, he can use his arms to reposition himself and free his face if needed, which helps protect his breathing.

It’s also worth noting that once he starts rolling onto his stomach, he may begin to prefer sleeping in that position. If that happens, continue placing him in the crib on his back to start and let him find a comfortable position on his own. Just make sure his crib is completely free of any stuffed toys, bumpers, or loose items like blankets to ensure a safe sleep environment.

The adjustment to being out of the swaddle can take anywhere from 3–7 nights, during which his sleep might be disrupted. During this transition, it’s important to avoid introducing new settling techniques (like feeding him to sleep if you didn’t previously do this), as he may start to rely on these methods to fall asleep.

Teething

If you suspect teething, the discomfort typically lasts only a few days, and pain relief medication can help alleviate the pain. Look for signs of teething, like a bluish or grey cyst on his gums where a tooth is about to break through. However, if there’s no cyst and he seems generally happy during the day when awake, it’s likely not teething causing the sleep disruptions.

Feeding Tips

To help increase his daytime feeds, you could try this approach: after he wakes from a nap, take him into a bright room to fully wake him up. Once he’s been awake for about 10 minutes, move to a darker, quieter room for feeding. Since his sleep pressure will be low right after a nap, he’s unlikely to fall asleep during the feed, and the darker room will minimise distractions, helping him focus and feed for longer. This routine can also help you implement the wake, feed, play, sleep cycle more consistently.

Also, I am not sure if you’re breastfeeding but if you are, something to note is that the time he spends breastfeeding isn’t always a true indicator of how much milk he’s getting. Babies can often be very efficient at feeding and may drink a substantial amount in as little as 5 minutes, while others may take longer. If his feeds are shorter but he’s gaining weight, having multiple wet nappies each day, and his stool isn’t hard, it’s a good sign he’s getting enough milk.

Pooping Overnight

Unfortunately, this is something that tends to resolve with time. The gastro-colic reflex triggered by feeding can cause bowel movements overnight. As his circadian rhythm matures, his body will begin to sync, and nighttime pooping should reduce. For now, continue with the wake, feed, change, feed, sleep routine during the night.

Screaming When Entering the Room for Naps

This could be a sign that he’s not yet tired enough to fall asleep. When he starts complaining, try changing the scenery—swap toys, go to a different room, or take him outside. If he calms down, it’s likely boredom rather than tiredness and keeping him up for longer would be helpful. If he continues to fuss, he may be ready for a nap.

Maintain a Consistent Wake-Up Time
You mentioned that 6:30 a.m. is his usual wake-up time. To help with the timing of his naps, try to keep this wake-up time consistent, allowing for a 30-minute window if needed.

If possible, aim for his first nap to start around 8:30 a.m. This would give him about 2 hours of awake time before the nap, which is ideal for helping him settle. At nap time, take him to his crib and use the Settling Pyramid technique to help him fall asleep.

The first nap of the day is usually the easiest for babies to settle into, so establishing this routine can set a positive tone for the rest of his sleep schedule.

Using the Pacifier

If you find that you’re constantly needing to pop the pacifier back in and it’s interfering with his ability to fall asleep, it may be time to help him learn to fall asleep without relying on it. Here’s how you can approach this:

1. Let him suck on the pacifier while you complete the nap routine to help him relax.
2. At the end of the nap routine, lay him in his crib with the pacifier still in his mouth.
3. Use the Settling Pyramid technique to help him drift off.
4. Just before he falls asleep, gently remove the pacifier by placing your little finger between the pacifier and the corner of his mouth. This breaks the seal, allowing you to remove it without too much disruption.

For some babies, this method works beautifully, and they fall asleep without the pacifier. For others, it may cause stirring or full waking. If removing the pacifier causes him to fully wake up, you have two options:

1. Continue Using the Pacifier
   If the pacifier is working overall and the occasional need to pop it back in isn’t too disruptive, you can continue using it. Simply replace it as needed until he falls asleep.

2. Eliminate the Pacifier Completely
   If you’d prefer to phase out the pacifier entirely, start by consulting your pediatrician to ensure it’s safe to stop, as pacifiers are associated with a reduced risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).

Adjusting the Nap Routine
I was also wondering if you would be happy to adjust your nap routine slightly to:

Turn off the lights and close the blinds to create a calm, dark environment. This can minimise distractions and help signal to him that it’s time for sleep.

Next, put him in his sleeping bag and offer the pacifier. Cuddle with him briefly on the bed, but be mindful not to let him fall asleep during this time. As, a quick nap during cuddling can reduce his sleep pressure, making it harder for him to settle fully when placed in the crib.

Turn on white noise and sing a lullaby while standing and gently rocking.

Once he’s calm, place him in the crib and use the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep.

If settling him in the bedroom is challenging (in that he screams as soon as you enter the room), you could put him in his sleeping bag and offer the pacifier in another room, like the living room. Then walk around with him for a few minutes to help him calm down, and then transition to the bedroom to complete the nap routine.

Do you think these things are manageable?
Emma

[Emma H]

Also, Jill I just have two more suggestions:

Is it possible to get the childcare on board with using the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep? I find at this age, they tend to have one adult helping the baby fall asleep. If this is the case at your childcare, would you be happy to ask if they could settle him to sleep this way or ask how they are currently settling him to sleep?

Also, something else to think about is the time that you are going to bed at night. If he is falling asleep at 7pm then he is likely entering light sleep at around 9ish. So If you find that he is waking soon after you enter the room to go to bed, you might want to go to bed 30 minutes earlier or 30 minutes later and see if that results in him sleeping for a longer stretch at the start of the night.

[Emma H]

Hi Jill,

Thank you for answering my questions—it really helps to get a full picture of what’s going on.

It’s fantastic that your little one is settling himself to sleep at bedtime. Is this a recent milestone, or has he been doing this for a few weeks now?

I ask because typically, once a baby can fall asleep independently at bedtime (as you described, laying him in the crib awake and walking out), they start to link sleep cycles during the night, and those nighttime wakes begin to decrease.

If Independent Sleep is a New Skill

If this is a skill he’s only recently mastered, I’d recommend continuing to feed him when he wakes overnight (as you mentioned, this is the quickest and easiest way to get him back to sleep for both of you). Over time, those wakes should naturally decrease. You’ll likely see him start to have longer stretches of sleep at the beginning of the night when deep sleep is dominant, with the early morning feeds being the last to fade.

If He’s Been Falling Asleep Independently for a While

If he’s been settling himself at bedtime for a few weeks but is still waking frequently, it could indicate he’s waking because he is hungry (so he is now getting most of his milk needs during the night instead of the day). In this case, we need to work on gradually weaning him off night feeds while increasing his daytime intake.

Differentiating Hunger vs. Comfort Feeds

To gradually wean him off night feeds, we first need to figure out which feeds are driven by hunger and which are more about comfort. Here’s how you can do this:

Track his overnight feeds for three days and note how long he’s actively feeding during each wake-up. Active feeding means you can hear him swallowing every few sucks. Longer feeds usually indicate hunger, while shorter feeds suggest he’s feeding more for comfort.

Once you’ve identified the comfort feeds, you can start reducing their duration gradually. Cut back each comfort feed by 1–2 minutes each night. When these feeds are down to less than five minutes, you can stop feeding altogether and use the Settling Pyramid to help soothe him back to sleep instead.

Managing Comfort Feeds Strategically

Just a quick note about reducing comfort feeds and using the Settling Pyramid to soothe him back to sleep: If the idea of doing this all night feels overwhelming, you can start by focusing only on the first half of the night, from 7 p.m. to 12 a.m. During this time, reduce the comfort feeds and use the Settling Pyramid instead. For wake-ups in the second half of the night, you can continue feeding him as usual.

As I mentioned, the first half of the night is dominated by deep sleep, which will make it easier to settle him back to sleep without a feed. Once he starts having longer stretches of sleep at the beginning of the night, you can gradually work on reducing feeds during the second half.

Does that approach make sense?

Improving Daytime Feedings

To support reducing night feeds, we also want to ensure he’s having full feedings during the day. You mentioned he feeds 12 times a day when at home. If he’s awake from around 6:15/6:30 a.m. to 7 p.m., this could mean he’s feeding every hour. If I’ve misunderstood, I’m sorry, but if that’s the case, we might want to stretch the time between feeds.

At this age, babies typically feed every 3–4 hours. Do you think it’s possible to start spacing out his feeds during the day? Following a wake-feed-play-sleep routine could help with this. Since his naps are around 45 minutes and his wake windows are about 1:45–2 hours, this routine would naturally stretch the time between feeds.

If you need to feed him to sleep for some naps, could you try doing it with the lights on, like you do during bedtime? This will help maintain the distinction between sleep and feeding times.

Supporting Nap Sleep

It’s great that you’re trying the Settling Pyramid during the day—it’s a fantastic way to build familiarity so that when you use it overnight, he’ll be less resistant, as well as, give him the skills he needs to start linking sleep cycles during the day and lengthen those naps!

You mentioned he’s finding it hard to fall asleep for naps, and this might be because he’s not quite tired enough. Stretching his wake window by 15 minutes could help, so he’s staying awake for at least 2 hours between naps. How do you think he’d cope with that?

To help develop a nap schedule, it’s also helpful to keep the first nap at the same time each day. Once this becomes consistent, the timing of the second nap tends to follow naturally. Since he goes to childcare, could his first nap be around 8:30/9 a.m.?

Let me know your thoughts on these suggestions and if you have any questions.

Emma