[Emma H]

Hi Milene,

It’s so lovely to see you here after our earlier email chats.

First, I just want to say how much I admire the care and dedication you and your boyfriend are showing for your little one. You’ve been through such a challenging start, but it’s incredible how you’ve kept advocating for her and have found the support you needed – especially around her feeding aversion. You’re doing an amazing job.

About bedtime

You asked what time is typical for a 4-month-old’s bedtime. Most babies this age settle into a bedtime somewhere between 7–8 pm, but the timing can be influenced by the last nap of the day. If that nap ends too close to bedtime, it can mean she isn’t quite tired enough to stay asleep, which may be why she initially settles but then wakes 30–40 minutes later.

To help me work out why bedtime has been tricky and to suggest the most helpful strategies for you all, I’d love to clarify a few details. I’m so sorry for all the questions, but your answers will give me a clearer picture of what’s going on so we can find gentle ways to improve her sleep (and yours!).

1. You mentioned she has reflux – have you been able to see a doctor about whether medication could help manage her symptoms?

2. It’s fantastic that she’s now napping in your bed – what a huge achievement! Based on what you’ve shared, does her current schedule look something like this?

   • Wake-up: 7/7:30 am

   • Nap 1: 9–9:30 am

   • Wake: 9:30/10 am

   • Nap 2: 11:30 am–12 pm

   • Wake: 1:30/2:30 pm

   • Nap 3: 3:30–4 pm

   • Wake: 4:30 pm

   • Bedtime: 7:30–8:30 pm

3. You mentioned she often wakes 30–40 minutes after falling asleep at bedtime. On the nights this happens, do you know what time she finally settles into a deeper sleep and stays asleep?

4. Overnight, does she usually wake:

   • Between 10 pm–12 am for her first feed

   • Again at 2–3 am or at 5 am? If she wakes at 5 am, as you have noticed it can be really hard to resettle her – this is because her sleep pressure is low and her circadian rhythm is starting to signal “wake-up time.”

5. It sounds like you’re following a wake–play–feed–play–sleep routine during the day to encourage her to feed when she’s truly hungry (given the aversion protocol). Are you able to keep the feed separate from her nap routine?

6. Based on what you have written, I am assuming her bedtime routine looks like this:

   • Nappy change

   • Go to bedroom, close curtains

   • White noise on

   • Sleeping bag on

   • Sing lullaby while rocking

   • Place her in the carrier for bedtime
     Before she goes into the carrier, does she have a final feed? If so, where does this fit into the routine? And when do you usually give her the pacifier?

7. For her naps, does the routine look the same except you lay her down in your bed and use the settling pyramid?

8. For naps, is she sleeping directly on your bed?

9. You mentioned that she used to fall asleep after she was placed on the bed awake but she’s now finding it harder. Was this change in settling related to naps, bedtime, or both?

10. With the pacifier, do you feel it’s becoming a sleep association that leads to her waking when it falls out (at the start of naps, at bedtime, and between sleep cycles)? From what you’ve described, it sounds like this might be a big factor.

11. Could you describe her sleep environment? Is the room cool, very dark (so dark you couldn’t read a book) and quiet?

Sorry for all the questions!

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Leonor,

I have been wondering how you guys have been going!

It sounds like you’ve made some fantastic progress with her sleep – well done! it’s completely normal for there to be ups and downs, especially around this age. To help I have broken down and answered your questions/concerns below:

Night wakings:

It’s possible that her increased wakings are linked to a developmental leap, like learning to roll. These milestones can temporarily disrupt sleep because they’re practicing new skills, even in their sleep! If it is because she is learning to roll over – then practicing this skill during the day and then mastering should lead to reducing those overnight wakes.

Another possibility is that she might be waking due to hunger if she’s not feeding as much during the day. Babies often get distracted as they become more aware of their surroundings, which can lead to shorter feeds.

To encourage longer daytime feeds, you could try offering feeds in a quiet, dimly lit space to minimise distractions. This might help her take in more during the day and reduce the need for night feeds. The other thing you can try is not offering her a feed as soon as she wakes up from a nap. Instead wait 10 – 30 minutes if she isn’t too hungry and see if spacing her feeds out like this leads to her having fuller feeds.

There is also the possibility that these night wakings might be because her nap schedule needs to be tweaked or something is disrupting her sleep. To help me figure out if this is the case can you answer the questions below?

• Are you sharing a room with her?
• What time is she going to bed?
• Are you or anyone else entering the room (for example to go to bed ) just before or at the time of these wakes?
• What’s her general nap schedule – so her wake up time, nap times and when they tend to finish and bedtime?

Crying when Overtired

It’s great that she’s falling asleep independently most of the time!

When she’s overtired, it’s very common for settling to be harder and for there to be more protest. In these moments, I often find that simply walking into the bedroom and closing the door to make it completely dark can help calm things down quickly. Once she’s more settled in the dark environment, you can go ahead with your usual nap routine.

If she’s still very distressed and not calming down, it’s absolutely okay to help her fall asleep in your arms and then transfer her to the crib – especially since she’s already capable of falling asleep independently most of the time. Doing this occasionally is perfectly fine and won’t undo the progress you’ve made, as long as it doesn’t become the regular pattern.

Just keep in mind that when babies are assisted to sleep, those naps may be shorter than usual.

Tummy Sleeping and Rolling

It’s common for babies to get “stuck” on their tummy when they’re learning to roll. If she’s rolling onto her tummy herself, it’s safe to leave her there as long as she’s in a safe sleep environment (firm mattress, no loose bedding). You can encourage her rolling skills during the day with lots of tummy time and practice rolling both ways. This will help her feel more confident and reduce frustration at night and potentially reduce those overnight wakes again!

Does this all make sense?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Catherin,

I’m sorry to hear you’ve all been unwell. It’s so common for little ones to pick up something during those first few weeks of daycare (and then share it with the whole family!). I’m glad to hear your daughter bounced back quickly, and I hope you’re feeling much better soon too.

It’s wonderful to hear that she’s starting to sleep longer stretches at night – it is possible that turning 9 months has brought about better overnight sleep. Hopefully, this becomes the new norm and gives you more rest moving forward!

Nap Transition at Daycare

At 9 months, many babies are transitioning from 3 naps to 2 naps, and it sounds like your daughter is right in that in-between stage. It’s perfectly okay that her naps at daycare are a bit inconsistent right now-this is very normal during this transition. Some days she might still need that third nap, especially if her earlier naps were short or disrupted. Other days, two naps may be enough.

If she skips the morning nap or only naps briefly, it’s totally fine for her afternoon nap to be longer (like the 2-hour nap you mentioned). That’s her way of making up for the missed rest and it’s great that daycare is giving her the space to sleep longer if needed.

Wake Time Adjustment for Daycare

Right now, if she’s waking up closer to 8:00am, that doesn’t give her enough awake time before the 9:00am daycare nap, which might be why she struggles to settle or skips it.

To help her better align with the daycare nap schedule, I recommend waking her by 7:00am each morning. That gives her 2 full hours of awake time before the first nap at 9:00am, which will make her more ready to sleep and help reinforce the schedule daycare is aiming for.

So her adjusted schedule might look something like this:

• 7:00am – Wake

• 9:00 – 10:30am – Morning nap

• 1:00 – 2:30/3pm – Afternoon nap

• 6:30/7:00pm – Bedtime
  Note: If you feel like she still needs 3 naps per day then you could ask the daycare to offer her another nap at 4:30 and have them wake her by 5pm. If you do this then her bedtime might be at 7:30 instead of 6:30/7pm.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kate,

Thank you so much for all the detailed information – it’s incredibly helpful.

Based on what you’ve shared, particularly around naps becoming more difficult and the fourth nap getting harder to fit in, it sounds like she may be ready to transition to a 3-nap schedule. To make that shift, we’ll need to gently stretch her wake windows a little.

Would you be open to trying the following routine to see if it helps with settling her for naps—and hopefully supports more consistent overnight sleep as well?

Proposed 3-Nap Schedule

• 7:30am – Wake
  (If possible, try shifting wake time slightly earlier to between 7:00–7:30am and see if that improves overnight sleep)

• 9:30am – Nap

• 10:10am – Wake (If she’s still sleeping, let her continue until 11:00am at most—1.5 hours total. I know this doesn’t tend to happen, but I wanted to mention it in case it does.)

• 12:10pm – Nap

• 12:50pm – Wake (Again, let her sleep up to 1.5 hours if she continues sleeping.)

• 3:00/3:30pm – Nap (you might find that she isn’t tired at 3pm. If thats the case see if shifting the nap slightly later to 3:30pm makes it easier)

• 3:40–4:10pm – Wake

• Around 7:00pm – Bedtime (At this age, bedtime typically falls between 7:00–8:00pm, but can sometimes be a little earlier depending on the day.)

Note: You’ll likely find that the final wake window becomes the longest when babies drop to three naps, and she may be able to stay awake for around 3 hours before bedtime without becoming overtired.

About the 7:30pm Bedtime

You mentioned that 7:30pm seems too early – was that because of false starts or due to her age? Just to reassure you, bedtime at this stage is typically between 7:00 and 8:00pm, and some babies do better with a slightly earlier bedtime, especially during nap transitions.

Pacifier

That’s great news about the pacifier – it’s fantastic that she accepts it and that it doesn’t seem to be negatively affecting her sleep. Have you tried offering the pacifier at nap time instead of the bottle? And if so, how has that been going?

If we switch to the new nap schedule and she’s more naturally tired at nap time, she may be more willing to settle with just the pacifier. This could also be a good opportunity to try Option 1: laying her in the crib awake and using the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep.

One small adjustment you could try is starting a little further up the pyramid- after laying her in the crib, place your hand on her bottom and gently rock or pat her. Once she’s calm, you can slowly step back down the pyramid from there. This can often be a helpful bridge when removing the bottle as a sleep association.

Tummy Time & Rolling

It’s wonderful to hear that she’s enjoying tummy time! Has she started rolling from tummy to back yet? Given that she’s now often rolling onto her tummy when awake, do you notice her doing the same during naps? Sometimes babies stir and roll onto their tummy, which can wake them fully if they haven’t yet learned how to transition smoothly in and out of that position.

Does this sound okay?
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kate,

Thanks so much for the update and I’m really sorry to hear that naps have become such a challenge. It’s incredibly tiring and frustrating when you’re the only one she’ll settle for, and even then, she’s still not sleeping well. You’re doing an amazing job holding it all together through such a tough phase.

You mentioned things were going well and you were having some great success, and now there’s been a sudden shift. That kind of change can sometimes be linked to a few things:

• She might be coming down with something – have you noticed any signs of sickness?
• She may need a longer awake window between naps.
• Or it could be that she’s relying more on you to fall asleep and stay asleep, which might be why resettling is becoming more difficult.

To help me figure out what’s going on, could you send through an update on:

• What time she’s waking up in the morning
• The timing of each of her naps and when she wakes from them
• What time bedtime has been lately

It’s been nearly a month since we last reviewed her schedule, so a quick check-in on that will help me guide you with the next steps.

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Milène,

It sounds like you’ve been making some great progress, which is fantastic!

I have answered your questions and concerns below.

1. Consistent Wake-Up Time

Yes, waking her at 7:00 am consistently is ideal, even if she’s just fallen back asleep. This helps reset her circadian rhythm each day, which is key for establishing predictable sleep patterns. If she’s had a disrupted night and seems overtired, you can shorten her first wake window slightly to prevent her from becoming overtired before her first nap. For example, if her usual wake window is 2 hours, you might reduce it to 1.5 hours that morning.

2. Resisting Naps

It’s fantastic to hear she’s resisting naps less! A little cry when putting on her sleeping bag is quite normal-it’s often just their way of winding down.

3. Tweaking the Nap Schedule

If her first nap occasionally stretches to 1.5 hours and shifts the rest of her day later, that’s okay once in a while – but it’s important to keep an eye on how it affects her nighttime sleep. Around 4 months of age, most babies need about 3 to 4.5 hours of total daytime sleep, but the ideal amount really depends on your baby’s individual sleep needs.

If she’s getting closer to the higher end (4.5 hours) and you start noticing more frequent night wake-ups or difficulty settling at bedtime, it might be worth gently capping her naps to prevent her from becoming undertired by bedtime.

For example:

• If she’s sleeping well at night, there’s no need to change her daytime routine.

• But if night sleep becomes disrupted, trimming one of the longer naps could help restore balance.

That said, there are a few other factors that can also impact night sleep, such as:

• How she falls asleep at bedtime (e.g. does she fall asleep independently or with help?)

• The timing of her final nap

• Her sleep environment (light, noise, temperature, etc.)

To get a clearer picture of what might be going on, I just have a few quick questions:

1. Has her nap schedule changed recently? Is she still doing one short nap, one longer nap (around 2.5 hours), and a short catnap in the late afternoon?

2. Is she still falling asleep independently for her naps-so after the nap routine, does she fall asleep while sucking on the pacifier in the co-sleeper?

3. Around what time does her final nap of the day usually end?

Once I have those details, I can help guide you on the next best steps.

4. Refining the Bedtime Routine

It’s completely understandable that you haven’t transitioned her to the crib for bedtime yet – your health and rest matter too! For now, it’s absolutely fine to continue with what’s working. But when you feel ready, moving her into the crib for her initial bedtime sleep may help with those early morning wake-ups. Babies often sleep more soundly in a crib than in a carrier, and starting the night there also gives her the opportunity to learn how to fall asleep on her own – something that can lead to fewer overnight wakes over time.

The 3:15–4:00 am wake-ups can be especially tricky. It sounds like she’s feeding and falling asleep in your arms, but then waking once placed in the crib. This might be due to a sleep association with being held – she’s used to falling asleep on you, so when she stirs between sleep cycles and finds herself in a different environment, it’s harder for her to resettle.

When you feel ready, you might find it helpful to introduce the settling pyramid at bedtime. This helps her learn to settle in the crib from the start of the night, which often carries over into more settled sleep in the early morning hours. If you do try this, just be sure to check she’s had enough awake time after her final nap so she’s really ready for sleep.

As for those 5:00 am wakes – they’re tough! Around this time, babies are in lighter stages of sleep and their circadian rhythm is naturally pushing them toward waking. If there’s any light entering the room, even a small amount, it can further prompt her to wake up. So it’s worth making sure the room is as dark as possible.

Another important piece is her ability to fall asleep independently. At 5:00 am, when babies naturally wake between sleep cycles, if they haven’t learned how to resettle themselves, they’re more likely to wake fully and struggle to go back to sleep.

Lastly, while some babies wake at 5:00 am because they’ve reached their total sleep need for the night, that’s unlikely the case her – her bedtime is still on the later side.

5. Feeding Before Bed

It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job following Rowena Bennett’s aversion protocol. Feeding aversions can be incredibly challenging, but your patience and consistency will pay off. Thank you for offering to share the ebook, but I can’t get the copy through the forum. I will look it up though, as I want to make sure I am providing suggestions that fit.

Bedtime Timing

A bedtime of 10:30-11:00 pm is quite late for a 4-month-old. Ideally, bedtime should fall between 7:00-8:00 pm, but the timing of this really depends on the last nap of the day. Can you update me on when she is having this final nap and what time it typically ends?

I hope this helps clarify things for you!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Julia,

It’s great to hear that the 3-month-old routine has been working well for your little one!

As she approaches 4 months, her routine might continue to follow a similar pattern – or you may start to notice some subtle changes, that indicate she needs a little more awake time between naps to build enough sleep pressure to fall asleep and stay asleep.

You’ll know it’s time to make some adjustments if she starts:

• Resisting her usual nap times

• Taking longer to settle

• Or if her final nap gets pushed so late that it interferes with her bedtime

If any of this starts happening, here are a couple of key things to keep in mind as you tweak the routine:

• Keep the wake-up time consistent, ideally around 7:00am. This helps anchor the day and keeps the overall rhythm of naps and feeds predictable. With a 7:00am start, her first nap will typically still fall around 9:00am.

• Protect the last wake window. As she gets older, it becomes more important that she stays awake long enough before bedtime to build sufficient sleep pressure. To support this, you may need to cap the final nap of the day so that bedtime remains settled and consistent.

Below are some examples of a 4-nap schedule and a 3-nap schedule

4 Nap Schedule

If her naps are still fairly short, she may still need a 4-nap schedule. It might look something like this:

7:00 AM – Wake up & feed
9:00 – 9:45 AM – Nap 1
9:45 AM – Feed & play
11:45 – 12:30 PM – Nap 2
12:30 PM – Feed & play
2:30 – 3:00 PM – Nap 3
3:00 PM – Feed & play
5:00 – 5:30 PM – Nap 4 (capped if needed)
7:30 PM – Bedtime

3 Nap Schedule

As she starts linking sleep cycles and taking longer naps (often around 5–6 months), you may notice she naturally shifts to 3 naps. A 3-nap schedule might look like this:

7:00 AM – Wake up & feed
9:00 – 10:30 AM – Nap 1
10:30 AM – Feed & play
12:30 – 2:00 PM – Nap 2
2:00 PM – Feed & play
4:00 – 4:30 PM – Nap 3 (typically the shortest nap)
4:30 PM – Feed & play
7:00 PM – Bedtime

This transition to 3 naps usually happens closer to 5–6 months of age, but every baby is different. The key is to observe how easily she settles, how long she sleeps, and whether she’s showing signs of needing more or less awake time.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Milène,

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer all of my questions – it really helps me get a clear picture of what’s happening for your little one.

It’s so encouraging to hear that the feeding aversion therapy is going well – that’s such an important piece of the puzzle.

Supporting Longer Naps

You asked if there’s anything you can do to help her nap for longer. Unfortunately at 4 months, it’s really common for babies to wake after just one sleep cycle. For some babies, you can help link those cycles by popping the pacifier back in and gently patting or rocking them – which you’re already doing beautifully during her second nap.

Between 5–6 months of age, babies typically begin to consolidate their naps and sleep for longer stretches – but only if they know how to fall asleep on their own. So teaching her to fall asleep independently is key to helping her start having longer naps without help.

Another thing to keep in mind: if she’s waking when the pacifier falls out, and you’re needing to replace it between sleep cycles, then the pacifier could actually be the reason she’s waking early. In this case, removing the pacifier at nap and bedtime would likely help lengthen her naps.

That said, I completely understand your concern about removing it while you’re also going through the aversion protocol. You don’t need to do both at once. For now, I’d suggest holding off on removing the pacifier and focusing instead on helping her get used to sleeping in the co-sleeper (or your bed) and aiming for a more consistent bedtime routine there, rather than in the carrier.

When you feel that’s going well, we can reassess and look at whether it’s time to phase the pacifier out.

One thing to note for later: if you do decide to drop the pacifier at sleep times, you can absolutely still use it during the day when she’s upset or fussy. You could also include it in the nap routine and simply remove it when putting on the sleeping bag (just before singing the lullaby).

Tips to Make Naps and Bedtime a Little Easier

1. Consistent Wake-Up Time

You’re already doing a great job here! If possible, aim to cap her morning wake-up at 7:00am at the latest. That way, her first nap will fall around 9:00am consistently, which helps anchor the whole day.

2. Why She Might Be Resisting Naps or Bedtime

You mentioned she’s really starting to protest naps and bedtime – there are two likely causes:

• She knows what’s coming: If she’s learned that certain parts of the routine lead to sleep (which she might not feel ready for), a simple tweak can help reduce those protests. For example: Put the sleeping bag on after the nappy change, while you’re still downstairs. Then walk her around the living area for a few minutes in your arms before heading upstairs to complete the rest of the routine. This small change can help break the direct link between routine steps and “I’m being put to bed now,” which may ease some of the resistance.
• Her wake windows might be too short: If this protesting is new, you could try gradually extending her wake windows. Start with 2 hours 15 minutes, and see how she goes. If she’s still protesting, try stretching it to 2.5 hours.
• Keep in mind:
• • The first wake window is usually shorter (closer to 2 hours).
  • After a short nap (e.g. 30–50 mins), she may need a shorter wake window.
  • After a longer nap (e.g. 2.5 hours), she might tolerate a longer wake window.
  • The last wake window of the day is often the longest – up to 3 hours is not uncommon.

3. Tweak the Nap Schedule

Right now, it sounds like she’s taking a short nap in the morning, a longer midday nap, and a short late afternoon nap – with a fairly long stretch before bed.

To reduce that long final wake window, consider ending the midday nap by 2:30pm. That would allow the final nap to start around 4:30pm, end around 5/5:15pm, and help bedtime land between 7:30–8:00pm.

Her day might then look something like this:

• Wake: 7:00am
• Nap 1: 9:00–9:30/10:00am
• Nap 2: 11:30/12:00–2:00/2:30pm
• Nap 3: 4:30–5:00/5:15pm
• Bedtime: 7:30–8:00pm

4. Refining the Bedtime Routine

For the next few nights, could you record the time she actually falls into a deep sleep (when her body is completely still)? That will help pinpoint her natural bedtime.

Once you know that time, you can start the bedtime routine earlier. Consider trying the same tweak as with naps – put the sleeping bag on downstairs, walk her around a little, then head into the bedroom to:

• Close the curtains
• Turn on white noise
• Sing a lullaby while rocking

From here, you have two options:

Option 1: Lay her down in the co-sleeper or bed and settle her using the settling pyramid.

Option 2 (if option one feels like too big a step): Settle her in your arms, slowing down the rocking (so that you are standing still when she falls asleep), then wait until she’s in a deep sleep before transferring her to the co-sleeper – holding her arms gently after the transfer until she’s settled. If this approach works – great! If not, you might want to switch to the settling pyramid approach.

5. Feeding Before Bed

Normally, I’d recommend feeding after the final nap and again before bed, but since you’re following a feeding aversion protocol, it’s absolutely best to stick to what’s been outlined by your feeding specialist.

If you’re comfortable sharing, I’d love to know more about the protocol you’re using – that way, I can make sure any future recommendations align fully with what your feeding therapist has suggested.

6. Overnight Wakes

It’s great to hear that shifting the feed to 10:00pm is working better for you – that’s absolutely worth continuing with if it feels more manageable.

Do these suggestions seem doable?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Kate,

Option 2 sounds like a really sensible plan – and it’s great that you’re already seeing some small wins with it.

You mentioned she’s starting to resist the side-lying position. One thing that might help is using that same position outside of nap or sleep times – for example, when you’re carrying her from one room to another or just having a quiet cuddle. That way, she may begin to associate the position with general comfort and closeness, rather than only with sleep. This can often reduce resistance and help her feel more relaxed when you use it at sleep time.

It’s also fantastic to hear that holding her arms after transferring has been helpful.

What you said about rolling makes total sense. It’s really common for babies to become fascinated with tummy time once they can roll from back to tummy – they’ve suddenly discovered a whole new world, and it’s so exciting for them!

Definitely keep me posted and fingers crossed the hairdryer noise turns out to be a winner!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Thu,

It’s great that you have noticed some improvements in your little one’s sleep.

Would you say that most nights she’s now sleeping a 6–7 hour stretch at the start of the night, or is it more common for her to wake every 2–2.5 hours?

If it’s more the latter, we may need to consider helping her learn to fall asleep in the crib fully awake (rather than drowsy). Earlier, we decided rocking her until drowsy and then placing her in the crib was working well since she was having long naps and a solid first stretch of sleep. But if she’s now waking every 2–2.5 hours, it likely means she’s needing your help between sleep cycles to fall back asleep. Teaching her to settle from fully awake in her crib could be the key to reducing those frequent wakes and even eliminating the 5 am waking.

But if she is still having more nights with a 6 – 7 hour stretch, her early morning wake-ups might have a different cause. A few possibilities:

1. Environmental factors – Could something be waking her, like light creeping into the room or early morning noise (e.g., someone getting up)? Is her room completely dark – so dark you can’t read a book?

2. Sleep needs met – It’s also possible she’s reached her total sleep needs for the night. If so, we may need to review her nap lengths and bedtime to see if adjusting them helps her sleep later in the morning.

Do you have a sense of which one it might be?

About her 3-nap schedule

Since she’s nearly 6 months, you don’t have to stick rigidly to a 3-nap schedule. If she’s happily staying awake for 3 – 3.15 hours and isn’t tired at her usual nap times, it’s fine to follow her lead and push naps slightly later. This might help reduce total daytime sleep and lead to better stretches overnight.

The key is to keep:

• Her wake-up time consistent
• The timing of her first nap consistent
• And if you’re comfortable, gently wake her from any nap longer than 1.5 hours to make room for a second nap in the day.

Travelling to Vietnam

Cot: I’d recommend bringing a portacot for her to sleep in for naps and overnight. This will make it easier when you return to Brisbane, as she’ll already be used to sleeping independently in a cot instead of needing to transition back.

Late nights: It’s absolutely okay to have occasional late nights while travelling – family time is so important. You can still follow a modified bedtime routine even if it’s later and let her fall asleep in a bassinet-style pram (if you have one and there’s space) or in the carrier. She may take a little longer to settle or wake more frequently overnight, but that’s normal and temporary.

If you’re visiting a family member’s house you could also consider bringing the portacot to set up in a quiet room. Then you can do her full bedtime routine there, let her sleep, and then transfer her when you’re ready to leave.

Sleep during travel days: On travel days, I would recommend you try to follow her usual sleep schedule (following the new times if you have already started to shift her circadian rhythm). If she’s struggling to sleep, don’t stress, as it’s likely she might find it harder to fall asleep with all the extra noise and movement. What you might need to do is just offer a little extra support (like more rocking) to help her fall asleep.

Jet lag (Vietnam is 3 hours behind Brisbane): To help reduce jet lag and make the transition smoother for both you and your little one, you can start gently shifting her body clock before your trip. This will mean that when you arrive in Vietnam, instead of her usual wake-up time of 6:15 am Brisbane time translating to 3:15 am in Vietnam, she’ll already be adjusted to waking closer to 6:15 am local time.

Here’s how you can do it:

Gradually shift her schedule in the weeks leading up to your trip

• Start moving her wake-up, naps, feeds and bedtime 15 minutes later every 2–3 days.

• Over two weeks, this adds up to a 2-hour shift, so her Brisbane wake-up would be 8:15 am, and her bedtime 9:30 pm on the day that you leave for Vietnam.

Adjust the final hour in Vietnam

• Once you arrive, let her body naturally adjust the remaining hour with the new daylight and activity cues.

Alternatively, if you’d prefer her to be fully adjusted to Vietnam time before you leave, you could shift her full 3 hours later. This would take about 3 weeks, but keep in mind it means her wake-up would be 9:15 am Brisbane time and bedtime 10:30 pm in the final days before departure, which may feel a little challenging at home.

For a step-by-step guide, I break down how to shift their body clock by 1 hour in this video— you’d follow the same approach, starting earlier to accommodate the bigger adjustment: https://youtu.be/-x1zKGYLcF8?si=sDQTCwOB2N-F9Sli

Does that sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kate,

Thank you so much for the update on her sleep patterns – it sounds like you’ve made some really positive progress!

It’s great to see that her bedtime has shifted earlier and become much more consistent. It’s also encouraging that she’s getting a good long stretch at the start of the night – that’s exactly what we want to see. Over time, that stretch should continue to lengthen, and the overnight feeds will naturally start to drop off.

When it comes to helping her fall asleep in the crib without the bottle, there are a few approaches you can try depending on what feels manageable for you right now.

Option 1: Settling directly in the crib

The first option is to follow the wake, feed, play, sleep routine. When it’s nap time, go through your usual nap routine, but I’m wondering if your little one might tolerate being held in a side-lying position (as I demonstrate in the Period of PURPLE Crying video with Dr. Karp’s 5 S’s), rather than in the tiger-in-the-tree hold. This position still allows her to look out but makes it easier to reposition your hands prior to laying her down in the crib, which would reduce the likelihood that she will wake up when you transfer her if she does fall asleep in your arms.

Here’s how it might look:

1. Carry her around the apartment in the side-lying position.

2. Walk into the bedroom and close the blinds.

3. Walk slowly around the bedroom while singing a lullaby, still holding her side-lying.

4. Once she’s calm, lay her down awake in the crib and begin patting and shushing straight away, moving up and down the settling pyramid as needed.

She may initially protest, but as you’ve noticed, transferring her after she’s fallen asleep in your arms is tricky – she often wakes up, and because she’s already had a light nap, her sleep pressure is lower, making it harder for her to settle again. Helping her fall asleep directly in the crib gives her the best chance to stay asleep for longer.

Option 2: Settling in your arms first, then transferring

If Option 1 feels like too big a step right now, you can settle her to sleep in your arms but adjust how you transfer her into the crib:

1. Carry her around the apartment in the side-lying position.

2. Walk into the bedroom, close the blinds, and sing a lullaby while walking slowly.

3. Once the lullaby finishes, stand still while gently swaying her in the side-lying position.

4. Gradually slow the swaying until she falls asleep while being held still.

5. Once she’s asleep, reposition her so she’s lying on her back in your arms. Wait until her breathing is slow and her body completely still – this is a sign she’s in deep sleep.

6. Transfer her to the crib by lowering her so her legs, then bottom, then back, and finally her head touch the mattress.

7. If needed, place your hands gently on her arms to keep them still and calm, then slowly remove your hands once she settles.

If she wakes during the transfer and doesn’t resettle with patting or shushing, you can pick her up and try again. If after about 20 minutes she still hasn’t settled, use the bottle as a last resort.

Other things to keep in mind

• Start small: While it’s ideal to give her as many opportunities as possible to practice falling asleep without the bottle, you could begin by focusing on the first nap of the day and bedtime. Babies often find these easier times to settle, while later naps can be trickier. For those, it’s okay to follow your usual routine for now.
• Rolling: You mentioned she’s rolling – does she roll fully onto her tummy? If so, would you consider letting her settle in the crib on her tummy if that’s her preferred position? Many babies start sleeping better once they’re comfortable sleeping this way.
• Wake windows: As she approaches 4 months, most babies can stay awake for 2–2.5 hours, and sometimes slightly longer before bedtime. If she’s fighting naps, gently stretching her wake windows may help.
• White noise: If you haven’t noticed much difference, it’s fine to stop using it. Some babies aren’t soothed by it. But if you are keen to try different types (or mask that creaky bed) then just make sure that you are using white noise which has a consistent sound. (like rain, radio static or heartbeat sounds) and avoid tracks with variable noises (like thunder or birds), as these can disturb her sleep.
• Pacifiers: Since she hasn’t taken to them and they can create another sleep association, I’d suggest not worrying about them. Many babies do fine without them.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Kate,

I just wanted to let you know I have seen your reply, and I will have a reply for you in the next 10 hours. My daughter is sick at the moment and not letting me type 🤦‍♀️. But, I will have some kids free time tomorrow morning, so will be able to give you a plan then.
Sorry.
Emma

[Emma H]

No worries!

[Emma H]

Hi Julia,

One thing I’d recommend trying first is using a diaper one size up for overnight. The larger size can hold more wee, which may help prevent her from soaking through.

If she still leaks through after trying this, the next step would be to change her diaper during her 2 am feed. You can follow a wake, feed, diaper, feed, sleep routine at this time. Changing her at 2 am is less likely to fully wake her, whereas changing her at the 5/6 am wake-up might make it harder for her to settle back to sleep.

Does that sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Kate,
Can you update me on what her nap and bedtime schedule looks like now – so the time that she wakes in the morning, the timing of all her naps, when she wakes from these naps and when bedtime is. I just want to check her wake windows and sleep overall, as these strategies should be working and sleep needs change so quickly with bubs.

Emma