[Emma H]

Hi Lauren,

It’s so lovely to hear that you’re enjoying the content!

I just had a quick look online and it seems the Halo Swaddle isn’t currently available in Australia – I actually bought mine from Baby Bunting a few years ago, but it doesn’t look like they stock it anymore.

An alternative you can still get here is the Ergopouch Cocoon. It’s definitely worth trying if you’re looking for something similar.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Quraish and Helen,

Thank you so much for your lovely message and for sharing such a thorough overview of what your little one has been experiencing.

You are clearly putting an enormous amount of love, effort, and intention into supporting her, especially with such a challenging start.

Before I can offer specific advice I was just hoping you could clarify a few things for me – i am so sorry for all the questions.

1. It sounds like you have a consistent wake-up time of between 6:30am and 7am, is that correct? If so that is fantastic!

2. Just wanted to check that the medication Nexium, is only given in the morning and the Motilium/Domperidone dose is given in the morning and again in the afternoon? Are you required to give her any other medications prior to her other feeds during the day?

3. Is she starting to stay awake following daytime feeds?

4. Based on what you have written, it sounds like you might be standing up in the bedroom while she is awake lying in your arms and you’re swinging her gently and shushing and tapping her until she falls asleep. After she has fallen asleep, you’re then gradually stopping the swinging, then the shushing and then the tapping. At this point, you are laying her down in the crib and then using the settling pyramid to help her go back to sleep if she wakes up. Is that correct?

5. You mentioned her wake windows are currently 1.5 to 3 hours. Do you notice whether she falls asleep – even briefly – during feeds or while you’re burping her afterwards? At this age, babies typically have short wake windows, and because her feeding routine takes quite a while, it’s very likely she’s getting small pockets of sleep during that time. These brief naps during feeding or upright holding could be reducing her overall sleep pressure, making it harder for her to fall asleep or stay asleep during formal nap times.

6. Are you able to let me know how many naps she is having per day?

7. Do you remove the pacifier before she falls asleep or does she sleep with the pacifier? If she does sleep with the pacifier have you noticed if the reason she is waking briefly after you lay her down is because the pacifier has fallen out?

Sorry for all the questions!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jacelyn,

It’s great to hear that your little one has settled into a 2 nap routine and your days are a little more predictable. In regards to your questions I have answered them below.

Frequent Wakings Between 7-11pm

It’s interesting that this is happening during a time when sleep pressure is typically highest. A few potential contributors come to mind:

1. Overtiredness: Even though your son is now on a solid two-nap schedule, that 4-hour wake window before bedtime might still be a little long for him right now. When little ones are overtired, it can lead to more frequent or restless wakes in the first part of the night. If these extra wakes started around the time he dropped to two naps, it could be a sign that his final wake window is just stretching a bit too far.

   You could experiment with shortening that last window by 15–30 minutes to see if it helps. If it doesn’t make a difference – but he’s still falling asleep easily at bedtime – you could try reducing it by up to 45 minutes and see whether that leads to more settled sleep.

2. New Skills: At 7 months, many babies are busy mastering new motor skills like rolling, sitting, or even starting to crawl – and all that practice can sometimes disrupt sleep. Have you noticed if he’s been working on a new skill lately? If these frequent night wakings line up with him practicing rolling over (or another milestone), it’s likely just a temporary phase. Once he becomes confident and comfortable with the skill, his night wakings should naturally begin to settle down again.
3. Sleep Associations: Since he’s being carried to sleep and potentially still using a pacifier, he might be waking during light sleep cycles and needing those same conditions to fall back asleep. This is a common reason for frequent wakes.

To address this, I’d recommend focusing on helping him learn to fall asleep independently. This will take time and consistency, but it’s a key step toward longer, more consolidated sleep. I’ll touch on this more below.

Weaning Off Carrying to Sleep

I know it can feel daunting to break this habit, but it’s absolutely achievable with a gradual, consistent approach.

Now that he’s on a predictable nap schedule, it’s a great time to revisit the settling pyramid – either the full version or the modified one we talked about earlier. Having that routine in place will make it much easier for him to adapt.

One small tweak that can make a big difference at this age is doing the “watch and listen” step from outside his room, using the baby monitor. By this stage, some little ones can become frustrated if they see you in the room but you’re not actively helping them, which can lead to more protest. Giving him a little space can actually make it easier for him to settle himself.

Of course, if you notice his cries are continuous without pauses, that’s a signal he needs your help. In that case, go back into the room and move up and down the pyramid as needed until he falls asleep. Over time, this approach will help him build the skill (and confidence) to settle to sleep without being carried.

Helping Him Sleep in the Car

Car sleep can be tricky because it’s such a different environment from his usual sleep space. Here are a few tips to encourage rest during car journeys:

1. Plan Around His Sleep Schedule: Try to time car rides with his usual nap times so he’s naturally more inclined to sleep.
2. Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment: Use a sunshade to block out light, and play white noise or soft music to mimic his usual sleep cues.
3. Avoid Overstimulation: Keep the car environment calm and quiet, and avoid giving him toys or distractions if you want him to sleep.

If he doesn’t fall asleep in the car, try to offer a short nap as soon as you get home to prevent him from becoming overtired.

I hope this helps!
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Quraish and Helen,

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me such a detailed update – it’s incredibly helpful for understanding exactly what’s going on.

It actually makes a lot of sense that she naps for longer when she’s on you. Being upright helps keep the reflux more settled, and without even realising it, you’re probably giving her those little shushes, pats, or gentle movements that help her drift back off when she stirs.

On the topic of her falling asleep while feeding – at her age, and especially with those long feeds, it’s very normal and not something you need to worry about creating a long-term “association.” As she gets older, she’ll naturally start staying awake for longer after feeds, and you’ll be able to gradually help her learn to settle to sleep in the crib.

That said, there are a few things that might help improve her daytime naps:

1. Keep her morning wake-up time consistent
A consistent wake-up time helps set her body clock and makes nap times more predictable.

2. Retry the swaddle
Since she’s waking soon after you lay her down, this could be due to reflux, but it might also be the movement of going from your arms to the crib. A swaddle can help dampen that “free fall” feeling and make the transition smoother. If you’re open to it, try one where her arms are down by her sides instead of up by her face.

If you’d rather skip the swaddle, you could lower her into the crib feet first, then bottom, then back, and finally head. Once she’s down, place one hand gently on her arms and the other on her legs to stop them from moving. Wait until she’s completely still, then slowly remove your hands. This can help her stay asleep through the transition.

3. Tweak her nap routine

Right now, if she doesn’t fall asleep while feeding, you’re settling her in your arms with swinging, shushing, and tapping – which works well. But to make it easier to transition to the settling pyramid, you could gradually reduce the movement, tapping, and shushing so she eventually falls asleep in your arms without movement.

Her new nap routine might look like this:

• Take her to her room and draw the blinds.

• Turn on the sound machine.

• Swaddle her (if you’re willing to give this a go).

• Hold her in your arms and sing a lullaby or song (this becomes a sleep cue).

• When the song ends, swing her gently while shushing and tapping.

• Once calm, stop swinging (stand still) but continue shushing and tapping.

• Gradually stop tapping, then stop shushing, so she falls asleep in your arms while you’re standing still, with only the white noise in the background.

4. Timing of the Settling Pyramid

From what you’ve described, it sounds like you might be using the settling pyramid after you’ve already settled her to sleep in your arms, transitioned her into the crib, and then she wakes a few minutes later. It’s at that point you’re trying to use the pyramid and that’s likely why it hasn’t been as effective.

For the settling pyramid to work well, it needs to be used right from the start of helping her to sleep – when her sleep pressure is at its highest. If she has already dozed off in your arms and wakes after a short nap in the crib, that brief rest has reduced her sleep pressure, making it less likely she’ll settle back to sleep, even with the pyramid.

The goal is to begin the settling pyramid at the very start of the nap or bedtime routine, while she’s still awake, and continue using it until she falls asleep in her crib. This makes the most of her natural sleep drive, and over time she’ll recognise the steps as clear sleep cues.

If you’re happy to try this, the easiest times to start are bedtime and the first nap of the day.

For her first nap her nap time routine might look like this:

• Take her to her room and draw the blinds.

• Turn on the sound machine.

• Swaddle her (if you’re willing to give this a go).

• Hold her in your arms and sing a lullaby or song (her sleep cue).

• When the song ends, lay her in her crib and use the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep, moving up and down the steps as needed.

For bedtime her routine using the settling pyramid might look like this:

• Small feed.

• Bath and lotion massage.

• Get dressed.

• Finish the feed.

• Hold her upright, keeping her awake if possible to maintain sleep pressure (if she falls asleep, that’s fine just lay her in the crib).

• If awake, take her to her room, draw the blinds, turn on the sound machine, swaddle her, sing the lullaby, then place her in the crib and use the settling pyramid.

If she falls asleep and then wakes soon after, you can try to resettle her with the pyramid – but if she’s too distressed, pick her up and settle her in your arms, remembering to reduce movement, tapping, and shushing so she eventually falls asleep while you’re still and quiet.

Does this sound doable?

Emma

• This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Leonor,

Given that her weight gain has slowed, I’d recommend offering both breasts during night wakes for now. It’s also worth continuing to feed her in a darkened room with minimal distractions after daytime naps. Even though you didn’t notice a big change in how long she fed for, a quieter environment can help her stay more focused on sucking and swallowing, which may result in a fuller feed. And if you’re at all concerned about your milk supply, it’s always a good idea to check in with a lactation consultant – they can assess your supply more closely and give tailored guidance.

At around 6 months, moving towards a more consistent nap schedule can be helpful. The benefits include:

• Regulating her body clock so she naturally feels sleepy at similar times each day.

• Creating more predictable nap and feed patterns, making it easier to ensure she’s getting enough milk during the day.

• Potentially reducing nighttime wakes, as having a narrower morning wake-up window helps set her internal clock for better overnight melatonin release.

• Making it easier for you to plan your day.

You don’t have to move straight to a rigid schedule – you could start by anchoring her day with a consistent morning wake-up (within a 30-minute window) and a set first nap. From there, the rest of her naps and feeds will often begin to fall into place naturally.

If you’d like, I can help you create a more structured schedule. Could you let me know how long her first two naps usually last (are they 1½–2 hours?) and whether her third nap is around 45 minutes?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Catherin,

Ideally, you’d gradually shift her wake-up time earlier by 15–30 minutes every 3 days, moving her whole schedule forward in the same way. However, since daycare is already following a set schedule and offering the first nap at 9am, I’d recommend simply starting to wake her at 7am. This will help her adjust more quickly and mean she’s actually tired enough to fall asleep at 9am when they offer that nap at daycare.

Does that sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Leanor,

It’s great to hear she’s having 3 naps per day, with some lasting 1-1.5 hours and others around 35-40 minutes. On a 3-nap schedule, it’s common for the first two naps to be the longer ones, while the third nap is usually shorter. Is that the case with your little one?

You mentioned that her nap times vary quite a bit. If you’d like more consistency, you could try narrowing her morning wake-up window to 30 minutes – perhaps 6:30-7:00am if that’s when she usually wakes. This will help set a predictable start time for her first nap, which would then fall around 8:30-9:00am. If that first nap tends to run long, you could cap it at 1.5 hours so the second nap also starts at a consistent time, helping the rest of the day fall into place.

It doesn’t sound like you’re waking her overnight, which is great. But since the change happened suddenly, have you noticed whether it coincided with her learning to roll both ways or mastering another developmental skill?

Have you been able to try feeding in a dimly lit room during the day to see if she takes a bigger feed and the impact this has on overnight wakes?

In terms of breastmilk supply, going 12 hours without feeding can reduce supply for some people, but for others it makes little difference. Some parents find their bodies adapt by reducing milk production overnight while maintaining daytime supply. At first, your breasts may feel overly full the first night you skip a feed, but this fullness usually eases over time. If she starts feeding at night again, your body will typically respond by increasing overnight production once more.

If your supply during the day hasn’t changed – and she’s happy, feeding well, and gaining weight – it’s likely your supply hasn’t been affected.

If you’re concerned about supply, you could offer both breasts at each overnight feed. Something you can do is try feeding from one side, then holding her upright briefly to rouse her slightly before offering the other side. This may help her take a fuller feed and potentially reduce overnight waking.

You mentioned that her overnight feeds are “getting bigger.” Do you mean she’s staying awake longer during the night, or that she feeds and falls asleep again quickly?

As for the crying during settling, one possibility is that she’s not quite tired enough, or she may be overtired. When she starts showing tired cues or fussing, try changing her scenery or activity. If she calms down, she may have been bored, which could mean she’s ready for a slightly longer wake window. If she continues fussing, she’s more likely ready for sleep. Tracking these patterns can help fine-tune her wake times.

Lastly, I haven’t read The Happy Sleeper by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright, so I’m not sure what you mean by “go over to the wave.” Could you explain that part?

Thanks,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kate,

It sounds like your little one is on the move – so exciting but exhausting! Hopefully, she’ll figure out rolling in the other direction soon, so she doesn’t end up spending all her time in tummy time.

From what you’ve described, I do think dropping to 3 naps makes sense – especially since she’s already skipping the 4th nap more often than not. That’s usually a clear sign that it’s time to make the transition.

To help her drop the 4th nap, you can start gradually stretching her wake windows – about 10–15 minutes every couple of days (or even just 5 minutes if you prefer). This helps space the naps so that the 3rd nap ends 2–3 hours before bedtime. You might need to ignore her tired cues a little during this adjustment, but because the increase is so small, she shouldn’t become overtired.

That said, it sounds like her 3rd nap on her current schedule often ends around 3:30pm, which is right where we’d want it to be. If that continues to happen naturally, you may not need to make any big changes – just follow her lead for now and see if the timing continues to align.

If her final nap ends at 3:30pm, she’s currently managing a 3-hour final wake window, though you mentioned she gets quite upset towards the end. If that’s the case, starting the bedtime routine a little earlier – around 6pm – so she’s in bed and falling asleep by 6:30pm could help. Keep an eye on how she handles this last stretch:

• If she’s really struggling, shorten it to 2.5 hours and push the last nap slightly later (around 4pm for a 6:30pm bedtime).

• If you’d prefer a later bedtime (e.g., 7pm), aim for the last nap to finish around 4:30pm.

When I say “9:30am nap,” I mean having her in the crib or in your arms ready to be settled to sleep at 9:30 – not just starting the wind-down. The same applies for bedtime – so “7pm bedtime” means you’re starting to settle her in the crib or arms at 7pm.

I completely understand your hesitation about an earlier bedtime. Often during nap transitions, bedtime temporarily shifts earlier, then moves later again once the new schedule is established and naps lengthen. If you’d like to keep it later, we’ll just need to adjust the day so that the final nap ends closer to your target time.

For trying Option 1, I’m wondering if she might tolerate it better now that she’s sometimes accepting the pacifier and she’s having longer wake windows. You mentioned that when you lay her down, she makes sounds, rolls, grabs her feet, touches the sides of the crib, and more – this could indicate that she isn’t yet tired enough to fall asleep, so stretching them might be helpful.
With that in mind, I was thinking we could try using the pacifier as her main settling aid instead of the bottle. So it might look like this:

1. Without a feed before sleep:

   • Carry her in a side-lying position and offer the pacifier (hopefully she’ll take it).

   • Walk into the bedroom, close the blinds.

   • Slowly walk around the room singing a lullaby, still holding her side-lying.

   • Once calm, lay her down awake in the crib and start patting and shushing straight away, moving up and down the settling pyramid as needed, using the pacifier for extra soothing.

2. If you think she’ll need a feed before sleep:

   • Feed her in the living space and then pop the pacifier in.

   • Carry her in a side-lying position with the pacifier.

   • Walk into the bedroom, close the blinds.

   • Slowly walk around the room singing a lullaby, still holding her side-lying.

   • Once calm, lay her down awake in the crib and begin patting and shushing straight away, using the settling pyramid and pacifier as needed.

Does this make sense and seem doable?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Quraish and Helen,

Sorry – just a few more questions to help me get a clearer picture.

You mentioned your little one is having 3–4 naps per day, sometimes only 10 minutes long, and at most 45 minutes. Can you clarify what you mean by this?

• Is she having 4 naps of around 10 minutes each in total?

• Or is it that she sleeps for about 10 minutes when laid in the DockATot or crib, then wakes, and you hold her for the rest of the nap?

• Or are you needing to re-settle her every 10 minutes during the nap, with the total nap lasting 30–45 minutes (or longer) with your assistance?

I’m just trying to work out when she’s napping on you how long she will stay asleep for?

You also mentioned she tends to stay awake after her morning feed and may have a short play. That suggests this might be the best time to try the settling pyramid, as she’s alert. I was a little surprised to hear she stays awake then, since her morning wake window becomes quite long after the medication, feed, and upright hold.

It’s also worth noting that at 9 weeks, it’s very common for babies to fall asleep while feeding. As she gets older, she’ll naturally start staying awake after more feeds, because her sleep pressure will build more slowly.

Lastly, I want to reassure you, it doesn’t sound like falling asleep on you is currently affecting her sleep overall, especially given that her overnight sleep sounds really good for her age and with severe reflux.

You mentioned you lay her down at night and she goes to sleep – just to confirm, is she already asleep in your arms when you put her in the crib, or is she awake when you lay her down?

Sorry for the extra questions,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Leonor,

I have been wondering how you guys have been going!

It sounds like you’ve made some fantastic progress with her sleep – well done! it’s completely normal for there to be ups and downs, especially around this age. To help I have broken down and answered your questions/concerns below:

Night wakings:

It’s possible that her increased wakings are linked to a developmental leap, like learning to roll. These milestones can temporarily disrupt sleep because they’re practicing new skills, even in their sleep! If it is because she is learning to roll over – then practicing this skill during the day and then mastering should lead to reducing those overnight wakes.

Another possibility is that she might be waking due to hunger if she’s not feeding as much during the day. Babies often get distracted as they become more aware of their surroundings, which can lead to shorter feeds.

To encourage longer daytime feeds, you could try offering feeds in a quiet, dimly lit space to minimise distractions. This might help her take in more during the day and reduce the need for night feeds. The other thing you can try is not offering her a feed as soon as she wakes up from a nap. Instead wait 10 – 30 minutes if she isn’t too hungry and see if spacing her feeds out like this leads to her having fuller feeds.

There is also the possibility that these night wakings might be because her nap schedule needs to be tweaked or something is disrupting her sleep. To help me figure out if this is the case can you answer the questions below?

• Are you sharing a room with her?
• What time is she going to bed?
• Are you or anyone else entering the room (for example to go to bed ) just before or at the time of these wakes?
• What’s her general nap schedule – so her wake up time, nap times and when they tend to finish and bedtime?

Crying when Overtired

It’s great that she’s falling asleep independently most of the time!

When she’s overtired, it’s very common for settling to be harder and for there to be more protest. In these moments, I often find that simply walking into the bedroom and closing the door to make it completely dark can help calm things down quickly. Once she’s more settled in the dark environment, you can go ahead with your usual nap routine.

If she’s still very distressed and not calming down, it’s absolutely okay to help her fall asleep in your arms and then transfer her to the crib – especially since she’s already capable of falling asleep independently most of the time. Doing this occasionally is perfectly fine and won’t undo the progress you’ve made, as long as it doesn’t become the regular pattern.

Just keep in mind that when babies are assisted to sleep, those naps may be shorter than usual.

Tummy Sleeping and Rolling

It’s common for babies to get “stuck” on their tummy when they’re learning to roll. If she’s rolling onto her tummy herself, it’s safe to leave her there as long as she’s in a safe sleep environment (firm mattress, no loose bedding). You can encourage her rolling skills during the day with lots of tummy time and practice rolling both ways. This will help her feel more confident and reduce frustration at night and potentially reduce those overnight wakes again!

Does this all make sense?

Emma

• This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Catherin,

I’m sorry to hear you’ve all been unwell. It’s so common for little ones to pick up something during those first few weeks of daycare (and then share it with the whole family!). I’m glad to hear your daughter bounced back quickly, and I hope you’re feeling much better soon too.

It’s wonderful to hear that she’s starting to sleep longer stretches at night – it is possible that turning 9 months has brought about better overnight sleep. Hopefully, this becomes the new norm and gives you more rest moving forward!

Nap Transition at Daycare

At 9 months, many babies are transitioning from 3 naps to 2 naps, and it sounds like your daughter is right in that in-between stage. It’s perfectly okay that her naps at daycare are a bit inconsistent right now-this is very normal during this transition. Some days she might still need that third nap, especially if her earlier naps were short or disrupted. Other days, two naps may be enough.

If she skips the morning nap or only naps briefly, it’s totally fine for her afternoon nap to be longer (like the 2-hour nap you mentioned). That’s her way of making up for the missed rest and it’s great that daycare is giving her the space to sleep longer if needed.

Wake Time Adjustment for Daycare

Right now, if she’s waking up closer to 8:00am, that doesn’t give her enough awake time before the 9:00am daycare nap, which might be why she struggles to settle or skips it.

To help her better align with the daycare nap schedule, I recommend waking her by 7:00am each morning. That gives her 2 full hours of awake time before the first nap at 9:00am, which will make her more ready to sleep and help reinforce the schedule daycare is aiming for.

So her adjusted schedule might look something like this:

• 7:00am – Wake

• 9:00 – 10:30am – Morning nap

• 1:00 – 2:30/3pm – Afternoon nap

• 6:30/7:00pm – Bedtime
  Note: If you feel like she still needs 3 naps per day then you could ask the daycare to offer her another nap at 4:30 and have them wake her by 5pm. If you do this then her bedtime might be at 7:30 instead of 6:30/7pm.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kate,

Thank you so much for all the detailed information – it’s incredibly helpful.

Based on what you’ve shared, particularly around naps becoming more difficult and the fourth nap getting harder to fit in, it sounds like she may be ready to transition to a 3-nap schedule. To make that shift, we’ll need to gently stretch her wake windows a little.

Would you be open to trying the following routine to see if it helps with settling her for naps—and hopefully supports more consistent overnight sleep as well?

Proposed 3-Nap Schedule

• 7:30am – Wake
  (If possible, try shifting wake time slightly earlier to between 7:00–7:30am and see if that improves overnight sleep)

• 9:30am – Nap

• 10:10am – Wake (If she’s still sleeping, let her continue until 11:00am at most—1.5 hours total. I know this doesn’t tend to happen, but I wanted to mention it in case it does.)

• 12:10pm – Nap

• 12:50pm – Wake (Again, let her sleep up to 1.5 hours if she continues sleeping.)

• 3:00/3:30pm – Nap (you might find that she isn’t tired at 3pm. If thats the case see if shifting the nap slightly later to 3:30pm makes it easier)

• 3:40–4:10pm – Wake

• Around 7:00pm – Bedtime (At this age, bedtime typically falls between 7:00–8:00pm, but can sometimes be a little earlier depending on the day.)

Note: You’ll likely find that the final wake window becomes the longest when babies drop to three naps, and she may be able to stay awake for around 3 hours before bedtime without becoming overtired.

About the 7:30pm Bedtime

You mentioned that 7:30pm seems too early – was that because of false starts or due to her age? Just to reassure you, bedtime at this stage is typically between 7:00 and 8:00pm, and some babies do better with a slightly earlier bedtime, especially during nap transitions.

Pacifier

That’s great news about the pacifier – it’s fantastic that she accepts it and that it doesn’t seem to be negatively affecting her sleep. Have you tried offering the pacifier at nap time instead of the bottle? And if so, how has that been going?

If we switch to the new nap schedule and she’s more naturally tired at nap time, she may be more willing to settle with just the pacifier. This could also be a good opportunity to try Option 1: laying her in the crib awake and using the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep.

One small adjustment you could try is starting a little further up the pyramid- after laying her in the crib, place your hand on her bottom and gently rock or pat her. Once she’s calm, you can slowly step back down the pyramid from there. This can often be a helpful bridge when removing the bottle as a sleep association.

Tummy Time & Rolling

It’s wonderful to hear that she’s enjoying tummy time! Has she started rolling from tummy to back yet? Given that she’s now often rolling onto her tummy when awake, do you notice her doing the same during naps? Sometimes babies stir and roll onto their tummy, which can wake them fully if they haven’t yet learned how to transition smoothly in and out of that position.

Does this sound okay?
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kate,

Thanks so much for the update and I’m really sorry to hear that naps have become such a challenge. It’s incredibly tiring and frustrating when you’re the only one she’ll settle for, and even then, she’s still not sleeping well. You’re doing an amazing job holding it all together through such a tough phase.

You mentioned things were going well and you were having some great success, and now there’s been a sudden shift. That kind of change can sometimes be linked to a few things:

• She might be coming down with something – have you noticed any signs of sickness?
• She may need a longer awake window between naps.
• Or it could be that she’s relying more on you to fall asleep and stay asleep, which might be why resettling is becoming more difficult.

To help me figure out what’s going on, could you send through an update on:

• What time she’s waking up in the morning
• The timing of each of her naps and when she wakes from them
• What time bedtime has been lately

It’s been nearly a month since we last reviewed her schedule, so a quick check-in on that will help me guide you with the next steps.

Emma

• This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Milène,

It sounds like you’ve been making some great progress, which is fantastic!

I have answered your questions and concerns below.

1. Consistent Wake-Up Time

Yes, waking her at 7:00 am consistently is ideal, even if she’s just fallen back asleep. This helps reset her circadian rhythm each day, which is key for establishing predictable sleep patterns. If she’s had a disrupted night and seems overtired, you can shorten her first wake window slightly to prevent her from becoming overtired before her first nap. For example, if her usual wake window is 2 hours, you might reduce it to 1.5 hours that morning.

2. Resisting Naps

It’s fantastic to hear she’s resisting naps less! A little cry when putting on her sleeping bag is quite normal-it’s often just their way of winding down.

3. Tweaking the Nap Schedule

If her first nap occasionally stretches to 1.5 hours and shifts the rest of her day later, that’s okay once in a while – but it’s important to keep an eye on how it affects her nighttime sleep. Around 4 months of age, most babies need about 3 to 4.5 hours of total daytime sleep, but the ideal amount really depends on your baby’s individual sleep needs.

If she’s getting closer to the higher end (4.5 hours) and you start noticing more frequent night wake-ups or difficulty settling at bedtime, it might be worth gently capping her naps to prevent her from becoming undertired by bedtime.

For example:

• If she’s sleeping well at night, there’s no need to change her daytime routine.

• But if night sleep becomes disrupted, trimming one of the longer naps could help restore balance.

That said, there are a few other factors that can also impact night sleep, such as:

• How she falls asleep at bedtime (e.g. does she fall asleep independently or with help?)

• The timing of her final nap

• Her sleep environment (light, noise, temperature, etc.)

To get a clearer picture of what might be going on, I just have a few quick questions:

1. Has her nap schedule changed recently? Is she still doing one short nap, one longer nap (around 2.5 hours), and a short catnap in the late afternoon?

2. Is she still falling asleep independently for her naps-so after the nap routine, does she fall asleep while sucking on the pacifier in the co-sleeper?

3. Around what time does her final nap of the day usually end?

Once I have those details, I can help guide you on the next best steps.

4. Refining the Bedtime Routine

It’s completely understandable that you haven’t transitioned her to the crib for bedtime yet – your health and rest matter too! For now, it’s absolutely fine to continue with what’s working. But when you feel ready, moving her into the crib for her initial bedtime sleep may help with those early morning wake-ups. Babies often sleep more soundly in a crib than in a carrier, and starting the night there also gives her the opportunity to learn how to fall asleep on her own – something that can lead to fewer overnight wakes over time.

The 3:15–4:00 am wake-ups can be especially tricky. It sounds like she’s feeding and falling asleep in your arms, but then waking once placed in the crib. This might be due to a sleep association with being held – she’s used to falling asleep on you, so when she stirs between sleep cycles and finds herself in a different environment, it’s harder for her to resettle.

When you feel ready, you might find it helpful to introduce the settling pyramid at bedtime. This helps her learn to settle in the crib from the start of the night, which often carries over into more settled sleep in the early morning hours. If you do try this, just be sure to check she’s had enough awake time after her final nap so she’s really ready for sleep.

As for those 5:00 am wakes – they’re tough! Around this time, babies are in lighter stages of sleep and their circadian rhythm is naturally pushing them toward waking. If there’s any light entering the room, even a small amount, it can further prompt her to wake up. So it’s worth making sure the room is as dark as possible.

Another important piece is her ability to fall asleep independently. At 5:00 am, when babies naturally wake between sleep cycles, if they haven’t learned how to resettle themselves, they’re more likely to wake fully and struggle to go back to sleep.

Lastly, while some babies wake at 5:00 am because they’ve reached their total sleep need for the night, that’s unlikely the case her – her bedtime is still on the later side.

5. Feeding Before Bed

It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job following Rowena Bennett’s aversion protocol. Feeding aversions can be incredibly challenging, but your patience and consistency will pay off. Thank you for offering to share the ebook, but I can’t get the copy through the forum. I will look it up though, as I want to make sure I am providing suggestions that fit.

Bedtime Timing

A bedtime of 10:30-11:00 pm is quite late for a 4-month-old. Ideally, bedtime should fall between 7:00-8:00 pm, but the timing of this really depends on the last nap of the day. Can you update me on when she is having this final nap and what time it typically ends?

I hope this helps clarify things for you!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Julia,

It’s great to hear that the 3-month-old routine has been working well for your little one!

As she approaches 4 months, her routine might continue to follow a similar pattern – or you may start to notice some subtle changes, that indicate she needs a little more awake time between naps to build enough sleep pressure to fall asleep and stay asleep.

You’ll know it’s time to make some adjustments if she starts:

• Resisting her usual nap times

• Taking longer to settle

• Or if her final nap gets pushed so late that it interferes with her bedtime

If any of this starts happening, here are a couple of key things to keep in mind as you tweak the routine:

• Keep the wake-up time consistent, ideally around 7:00am. This helps anchor the day and keeps the overall rhythm of naps and feeds predictable. With a 7:00am start, her first nap will typically still fall around 9:00am.

• Protect the last wake window. As she gets older, it becomes more important that she stays awake long enough before bedtime to build sufficient sleep pressure. To support this, you may need to cap the final nap of the day so that bedtime remains settled and consistent.

Below are some examples of a 4-nap schedule and a 3-nap schedule

4 Nap Schedule

If her naps are still fairly short, she may still need a 4-nap schedule. It might look something like this:

7:00 AM – Wake up & feed
9:00 – 9:45 AM – Nap 1
9:45 AM – Feed & play
11:45 – 12:30 PM – Nap 2
12:30 PM – Feed & play
2:30 – 3:00 PM – Nap 3
3:00 PM – Feed & play
5:00 – 5:30 PM – Nap 4 (capped if needed)
7:30 PM – Bedtime

3 Nap Schedule

As she starts linking sleep cycles and taking longer naps (often around 5–6 months), you may notice she naturally shifts to 3 naps. A 3-nap schedule might look like this:

7:00 AM – Wake up & feed
9:00 – 10:30 AM – Nap 1
10:30 AM – Feed & play
12:30 – 2:00 PM – Nap 2
2:00 PM – Feed & play
4:00 – 4:30 PM – Nap 3 (typically the shortest nap)
4:30 PM – Feed & play
7:00 PM – Bedtime

This transition to 3 naps usually happens closer to 5–6 months of age, but every baby is different. The key is to observe how easily she settles, how long she sleeps, and whether she’s showing signs of needing more or less awake time.

I hope this helps!

Emma