[Emma H]

Hi Ekaterina,

Tummy time typically doesn’t cause neck pain, but there are a few things to look out for that might be worth discussing with your little one’s doctor.

For example, if she consistently fusses when feeding on one side but not the other — say, she’s uncomfortable when you hold her in your right arm for bottle feeding, but perfectly fine in your left — this could be a sign of some tightness or discomfort. Similarly, if her head always tilts to one side, or you’re unable to gently turn her head in the opposite direction, that’s also something worth mentioning to her doctor.

And of course, if you have any general concerns that she may be in pain, it’s always best to check in with your healthcare provider, who can assess her in person.

At 19 days old, your little one is also right at the start of what’s known as the Period of PURPLE Crying. If her fussiness tends to peak in the afternoon or evening, but she’s generally calm during the rest of the day, this could be the reason. It’s a completely normal developmental phase — though understandably tiring — and it does pass with time.

There’s actually a dedicated lesson on this topic in the course, which you might find helpful if you haven’t already had a chance to watch it. It includes practical strategies to use during this fussy period to make things a little easier for both you and your baby.

As for settling her to sleep: if she’s not enjoying contact naps right now, you could try swaddling her and laying her down in the crib instead. To make the transition smoother, you can settle her to sleep in your arms first (in the position she currently prefers), and then gently transfer her to the crib. In the course, I go through what to look for in a swaddle if you are interested and haven’t had a chance to watch it yet.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Luise,

It’s great to hear you have already started trying the SNOO for a nap!

In regards to settling her to sleep in the SNOO:

I would recommend trying for about 20 minutes if you can. As you’ve noticed, it can take babies up to that long to fall asleep, especially when they’re learning to self-settle.

The fact that she lies there wide-eyed but calm is actually a really good sign — even though I can imagine it feels a little frustrating when you just want her to drift off! (I can just picture her little eyes staring at you — it sounds gorgeous and cheeky at the same time. 😊)

To make it easier for her to fall asleep, you could try:

• Making the bedroom really dark (so dark that you can’t see your hand if you hold it in front of your face).
• Completing the “watch and listen” step of the sleeping pyramid out of her line of sight.
• You could either stay quietly in the room (but out of view) or monitor her from outside the room using the baby monitor.
• If making it very dark seems to upset her, you could initially leave the door slightly open to allow a little light in — and adjust as needed based on how she responds.

Regarding the bedtime routine:

It’s absolutely fine if you don’t do a bath or change her clothes before bed. She will still associate the other parts of the routine — like the lullaby and winding down activities — as her cues for sleep. Consistency is what matters most.

About naps in the baby carrier:

When I mentioned reducing bouncing, I was referring to the start of the nap only.

Once she is asleep and if she starts stirring between sleep cycles, you can absolutely start bouncing again to help her link sleep cycles and extend the nap. That way, you can protect those longer naps while still slowly working towards independent sleep skills.

If she starts having shorter naps in the SNOO, I still recommend offering a feed when she wakes.

As her wake windows naturally lengthen with age, her feeds will also start spacing out more naturally over time — so it should balance itself out without encouraging “snacking.”

You mentioned an important difference between overnight and daytime transfers:

At bedtime and overnight, her circadian rhythm and sleep pressure are both helping her fall asleep and stay asleep. But during the day, only sleep pressure is helping — and because daytime sleep is lighter and less anchored by the body clock, it’s much harder to transfer her without waking.

(You’ll also find it’s much harder in the very early morning hours for the same reason — sleep pressure is low after a long stretch of sleep, and circadian rhythms are signaling it’s almost time to wake.)

Finally, about sleepy cues during the day:

What I often suggest is that when you first notice early sleepy cues (like eye rubbing or fussiness), change the activity or the scenery.

Boredom cues and tiredness cues look very similar at this age.

• If after changing things up she still fusses, rubs her eyes, or becomes unsettled, it’s a good sign she’s truly tired and ready for a nap.
• If she perks up with a new activity, she might not have been tired yet.

At this stage, most babies stay awake anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours, but because she’s having long naps in the carrier, she might tolerate slightly longer wake windows than average.

Also, the quality and length of her previous nap will impact how long she can stay awake — so it’s always best to balance sleepy cues with age-appropriate wake windows and the general wake–feed–play–sleep pattern.

I hope that makes sense!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Giedre,

It’s so lovely to hear from you again — I can’t believe your little one is already 11 months old! Time really does fly. 🥰

I just have a few quick questions to help me better understand what’s happening right now so we can put together a plan for you:

• Could you tell me what her current daily schedule looks like? (Her wake-up time, the timing of her nap, what time she wakes from her nap, her bedtime, and when she actually falls asleep.)

• Can you update me on her nap routine? (What you do before her nap, and how she falls asleep for naps.)

• Can you also update me on her bedtime routine?(What steps you’re taking to get her to sleep at night, and how she’s finally falling asleep.)

• Also could you let me know what’s happening overnight? (How often she’s waking, what are the timings of these wakings, if you’re feeding her for any of these wakes and/or how you are settling her back to sleep etc.)

• Also, I’m not sure where she’s sleeping now — is she currently sleeping in her own room in a crib, in your room in a crib, or is she starting off in the crib and then co-sleeping later in the night so everyone can get some rest?

Once I have a little more detail, I’ll be able to give you a much more specific plan to help her (and you!) get back on track.

Looking forward to hearing back from you!

Emma

• This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Elisa,

Thank you so much for taking the time to share all of that detail — it’s incredibly helpful, and you explained everything so clearly!

Honestly, it sounds like your little one’s sleep is going so well overall — you both should be very proud. You’ve clearly worked hard to build strong foundations, and it really shows. Well done!

In regards to your first question about the catnaps — yes, this is very normal at this age. However, given that your little one can fall asleep independently and her room is nice and dark, I’m wondering if the short naps might be linked to wake windows and sleep pressure. It’s possible that she has enough sleep pressure to initially fall asleep, but not quite enough to stay asleep for two sleep cycles. At around 4 months of age, many babies can manage a wake window of about 2 to 2.5 hours. Are you able to let me know how long she is currently staying awake between naps?

In regards to her overnight wakes: Because she can fall asleep independently and because offering the pacifier only delayed the wake (rather than eliminating it), I think her wake-ups are genuinely due to hunger. This could be linked to a growth spurt, fluctuations in daytime intake, or just general developmental needs right now.

At this age, it’s very normal for babies to wake once or even twice overnight for feeds.
Over time, this should naturally start to reduce as she grows and her feeding consolidates more during the day.

One little tip that might help: At 4 months, babies are much more aware of their surroundings and can easily get distracted while feeding. If her daytime bottles are in a quiet, low-stimulation environment (dim lighting, minimal noise), she may take fuller feeds, which might gradually help stretch her nighttime sleep even further.

Regarding the early morning wake-ups: If they haven’t already stopped (fingers crossed!), there could be a few reasons for them:

• If she’s overtired from short naps, that can cause early wakes.

• If her bedtime has shifted earlier (or if her last nap stretches too late), she may simply be reaching her overnight sleep needs earlier.

Given that her last nap has recently extended and this change coincided with the early wakes, I think the best fix would be to cap the final nap of the day, so she wakes at her usual time from that nap.
Then continue with her normal bedtime routine.

If you feel she’s too tired for an 8:00 PM bedtime, you could shift it slightly earlier to 7:30–7:45 PM, and keep it consistent for at least 3 days. This gives her circadian rhythm enough time to adjust.

In the meantime, it’s also important to delay starting the day if she wakes early:

• Keep interactions minimal.

• Keep the room dark.

• Hold off on offering a feed until 6:00 AM if possible (feeding earlier can reinforce the early wake).

If waiting until 6:00 AM is too challenging (especially if she’s wide awake at 5:30 AM), you could shift her official wake-up time to 5:45 AM for 3 days, and then push it to 6:00 AM afterward.

Does this make sense?

Emma

• This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Holly,

First, I just want to say—you’re doing an incredible job. It’s clear how much love, time, and energy you’re putting into helping your little one with sleep, and I know how exhausting and overwhelming it can feel when it seems like nothing is working. Please know you’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to feel at your wit’s end.

To help get you both more sleep (and reduce the fight at every nap and bedtime!), I just have a few quick questions first.

I’m so sorry — I know you’re probably just wanting answers right now, but gathering a little more detail will help me give you specific advice that’s truly tailored to your little one and what will actually work.

When you have a moment, could you quickly jot down the answers for me?

Once I have them, I’ll come back with a clear plan of attack to make life easier for both of you!

1. Based on your description of her sleep routine, it sounds like either you or your husband are currently holding her until she falls asleep (which makes total sense for where she’s at right now!). I’m just wondering—after you finish singing her nap song, are you walking her around the room, rocking or patting her, or standing still while she falls asleep?
2. Also, when you’re holding her, is she lying down horizontally in your arms or upright against your chest?
3. Once she’s asleep, you’re laying her into the crib—and at that point she wakes up. Then you’re stepping out of the room for a few minutes to see if she’ll resettle on her own. Is that right?
4. Has she learned how to roll over yet?
5. From what you’ve mentioned so far, it doesn’t sound like she’s using a pacifier—I just wanted to double-check that?
6. It sounds like you’re following a wake–feed–play–sleep routine during the day—is that right?
7. During her awake times, does she generally seem happy and content while playing with you, or would you describe her as being unsettled most of the time? I am just trying to rule out if there are any underlying reasons for her discomfort at sleep time.
8. From what you’ve described, it sounds like she’s getting about 4–5 naps per day. Could you let me know how long she typically manages to stay awake between naps? Is she able to handle a 2-hour wake window, or is it shorter?
9. You mentioned bedtime is usually somewhere between 6:30 PM and 7:30 PM. Does the timing of her bedtime vary based on when her final nap of the day ends?
10. It sounds like she eventually falls asleep around 8:00 PM. From the time you start the bedtime routine at 6:30–7:30 PM until she actually falls asleep, are you staying in the bedroom, settling her (holding her, putting her down, picking her up again, etc.) the whole time?
11. Does she wake overnight for feeds? If so, around what times does she typically wake up? I’m assuming the 3:00–4:00 AM wake-up is for a feed?
12. When she wakes overnight, have you been able to follow the wake–feed–sleep routine? Is the bedroom kept dark during overnight wakes? Also, if she wakes at times other than 3:00–4:00 AM, are you able to lay her back down in the crib after feeding or settling?

Again I am sorry for all the questions!

Emma

• This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Ekaterina,

It’s reassuring to hear that your little one is not favouring one side, can turn her head independently, and is comfortable feeding on either side. Those are all really positive signs and suggest that neck discomfort or stiffness is unlikely to be the issue.

At this age, it can definitely feel challenging to fit in playtime because wake windows are so short — often just enough time for a feed, a quick diaper change, and then it’s time to wind down again. The fact that she enjoys looking at high-contrast cards is fantastic — it’s actually one of the most developmentally beneficial forms of play for this stage.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like she’s been generally unsettled throughout the day, and this has only started quite recently. Would you say she seems uncomfortable most of the time, or does she settle during feeds and when she’s sleeping?

While the Period of PURPLE Crying can be intense, it typically occurs for just a few hours a day (usually in the afternoon or evening), peaking between 6–8 weeks. If she’s unsettled throughout the entire day, or even while asleep, this may point to something more than just the normal crying phase — such as discomfort, or another underlying issue.

It’s also worth checking how things are going with feeding and tracking her weight gain. If feeds are difficult or she isn’t gaining as expected, those could be contributing factors as well.

If she seems unsettled much of the time — even when feeding or sleeping — I’d definitely recommend speaking with your doctor (once they’re back from leave) or your midwife in the meantime. They’ll be able to assess things in more detail and help rule out anything medical.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Wow, Holly — that’s amazing to hear! I hope you’re feeling a little more rested and energised today!

Keep going with the naps — I expect that they will take a bit longer to come together because your little one is learning a completely new way of falling asleep, and during the day, sleep pressure alone is doing all the work. At night, it’s easier for her because both her circadian rhythm and sleep pressure are working together to help her fall — and stay — asleep, even if she briefly wakes.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Holly,

If your little one is waking from a nap and then feeding — but potentially sneaking in another short nap while feeding — that could be throwing off her routine more than it seems. It’s often tricky to spot because babies will continue to suck even if they’re no longer actively swallowing. But if she’s dozing off mid-feed, it may be resetting her true wake window — not from the time she woke up from the nap, but from when she finishes that little post-nap doze.

If you think this might be happening, here’s something to try:

When she wakes from a nap, instead of feeding her right away (especially if she still seems a bit sleepy), get her up and let her play for a few minutes in a bright room. This helps her fully wake up. Then, offer the bottle. If she starts to get drowsy during the feed, or you notice she’s sucking without swallowing, pause for a moment — change her diaper or shift her position to help wake her a bit — and then continue with the feed. This can really help ensure she’s taking a fuller, more alert feed, which in turn supports better sleep and wake rhythms.

If she wakes up clearly hungry and wants to feed straight away, that’s totally fine too. Just try to do the feed in a well-lit room, and keep an eye out for signs of her getting drowsy. And if she is getting drowsy just pause the feed to wake her slightly before continuing the feed.

Does that make sense?

Let me know how the 3–4 AM feed goes — I hope it helps everyone get a little more rest!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Giedre!

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my earlier questions — I really appreciate it.

It’s great to hear that her morning wake-up time has remained consistent and that she continues to sleep well during naps — those are really encouraging signs.

I just have a few more follow-up questions (sorry!) as I’m trying to determine whether the best approach would be to shift her bedtime earlier or to explore a technique called bedtime fading, which can help little ones relearn how to fall asleep more easily at night. When you have time, could you please answer the questions below?

Nap Routine

• You mentioned her nap starts sometime between 11:00 AM and 12:00 PM. Is there a reason for this variation? Would you be able to offer the nap at a consistent time each day, like exactly 11:00 AM, or is the timing dependent on her wake windows?

• Who usually puts her down for naps and bedtime? Is it always you, or do you do naps and someone else handles bedtime?

Bedtime Routine Details

From what you shared, I’m guessing her bedtime routine might look something like this:

• Optional bath

• Diaper change

• Pajamas

• Walk into the bedroom

• Close the curtains

• Turn on lullaby (is this instead of a white noise machine? And do you keep the lullaby on all night?)

• Read a book

• Sing a lullaby while rocking her

• Put her down in the crib

Does that sound right?

Also, do you include a feed before bedtime? If so, where does that feed fit into the routine?

Bedtime Timing & Response

• What time do you start the bedtime routine?

• What time do you typically lay her down in the crib?

When you first place her in the crib:

• What does she do?

• What do you do in response?

For example, do you lay her down, leave the room, and then return if she starts crying, using the settling pyramid until you end up picking her up and rocking her to sleep? Or do you lay her down, she protests, and you then hold, rock, or feed her, repeating this process until she eventually falls asleep around 9:30 PM?

Sleep Associations & Resistance

• You mentioned she sometimes falls asleep on her own with some help. Could you describe what that “help” looks like?

• Is 9:30 PM her consistent fall-asleep time, or does it vary? If it varies are you able to record the time that she wakes up from her nap, as well as, the time she falls asleep and stays asleep for the next 3 – 4 nights to try and identify her natural bedtime and wake window?

• When she resists bedtime, do you feel she’s actually tired but unable to fall asleep, or more wired and not yet ready for sleep? (For example, if you held her immediately after the routine, would she fall asleep quickly — or remain wide-awake?)

1 Nap vs 2 Nap Schedule

• You mentioned she was previously on a 2-nap schedule and that it pushed bedtime to 10 PM or later. Would you say that dropping to one nap has made her generally happier and easier to settle overall, or are things still just as challenging?

Evening Environment & Sleep Space

• In the lead-up to bedtime (e.g. after dinner), is the house environment already winding down — dim lights, quiet play? Or are the lights still bright and maybe a screen or TV on in the background?

• What time does it typically get dark outside?

• Is her crib in your room or in her own room?

• Does she sleep in the same sleep space (same room, same crib) for both naps and bedtime?

Sleep Aids & Earlier Bedtime Attempts

• Just checking — she’s not using a pacifier, right? I remember she didn’t take to one when she was younger, but just wanted to confirm.

• Lastly, you mentioned you tried an earlier bedtime. Could you let me know what time you tried, and what happened when you did?

Thanks again for taking the time to answer these questions— I know it’s a lot, but your answers will really help me suggest the most effective next step for both of you.

Thanks,
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Holly,

Wow — your little one is doing so well with her gross motor development! She’s already on the move, which is impressive. Something you might find interesting is that learning to crawl is one of those developmental milestones that can temporarily disrupt sleep. Now that she’s mastered it, things might begin to settle, but there are definitely still ways we can support both her sleep and yours.

It’s fantastic that she has a consistent wake-up time and you’ve already built strong nap and bedtime routines. And honestly, if she doesn’t like the pacifier — that’s totally fine. If she did, I’d likely be suggesting phasing it out at this age anyway.

Understanding Why Settling Her To Sleep is Challenging

Right now, your little one has learned to fall asleep with movement — specifically by being walked around while held upright against your chest. During daytime naps, the primary driver of sleep is sleep pressure (the natural buildup of tiredness). Once she falls asleep, even if only for a short time, that sleep pressure is reduced. So if she wakes after being transferred to the crib, it’s often much harder for her to fall back to sleep on her own — because some of that sleep pressure has already lifted.

This is also why the settling pyramid isn’t likely to work after she’s already fallen asleep in your arms. Does that make sense?

Because she relies on movement to fall asleep, when she reaches the end of a sleep cycle during naps and finds that she’s no longer being held or rocked, she fully wakes — resulting in short catnaps (typically 30–45 minutes).

Around 5 to 6 months, many babies start to consolidate their naps and sleep for longer stretches — but this typically only happens when they’ve learned to fall asleep independently.

So, to help your little one lengthen her naps and start linking sleep cycles, the next step is supporting her to learn how to fall asleep at the start of the nap in her crib.

Helping Her Learn How To Fall Asleep in the Crib

The quickest way to support your little one in learning how to fall asleep independently is by using the settling pyramid after you’ve completed her usual nap routine. Here’s what that could look like:

• Diaper change (if needed)
• Put her in her sleeping bag
• Turn on the humidifier and white noise
• Close the blackout blinds and dim the lights
• Sing her nap/bedtime song
• Once the song is finished and she’s calm, lay her down in the crib and begin using the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep.

Note: At this age, babies are extremely aware of their surroundings. If you’re standing in the room but not engaging, it can be frustrating for her — she sees you, but doesn’t understand why you’re not helping. If you’re comfortable, you can try doing the “watch and listen” step just outside the room while watching her on the monitor. Then enter and adjust your support (moving up or down the pyramid) as needed.

Also, if it feels like too much to do this for every nap and bedtime, you can start small and use the settling pyramid just at bedtime. This is the easiest sleep period to work with, since circadian rhythm and sleep pressure are both encouraging her to fall asleep. Or you could start with bedtime and the first nap of the day. The first nap is often the most consistent nap, and little ones usually settle more easily at this time — naps tend to get trickier as the day goes on.

If trying the settling pyramid feels like too much right now:

You can take an even more gradual approach, gently working toward helping her fall asleep without movement. After your usual nap routine, try this progression:

1. Walk around the room while patting and shushing

2. Then stop walking, continue patting and shushing

3. Then stop patting, continue just shushing

4. Finally, stop shushing — and let her fall asleep while you are standing still and quiet

This helps her slowly learn to fall asleep without movement, making it easier to transition to crib sleep and the settling pyramid later on.

If you go with this gradual method, it may help to hold her in a horizontal position (rather than upright on your chest) while settling her to sleep. The shift from vertical to horizontal during the crib transfer is a big change and can often cause babies to stir or fully wake.

Also when you lay her down in the crib something that you can try is:

• Gently holding her arms still with one hand and her legs with the other
• Then staying like this for a few moments to help her settle
• Then very slowly remove your hands once she seems calm and relaxed

This extra support during the transfer can make a big difference in helping her stay asleep.

Consider letting her sleep on her tummy:

Many babies actually find it easier to fall asleep on their tummy once they can get into that position on their own — and they often stay asleep longer this way too.

If you’re comfortable with this, you can:

• Lay her down in the crib awake and on her back
• Let her roll onto her tummy naturally
• Then apply the settling pyramid while she’s in that position

As always, make sure her sleep environment is safe, if you plan on letting her sleep on her tummy.

Consistent Bedtime

Having a set wake-up time is a great first step toward establishing a consistent bedtime — and it sounds like you’ve already got that in place, which is fantastic. However, it also sounds like the timing of the final nap is causing bedtime to shift a bit.

To support your little one’s circadian rhythm and help her body naturally produce melatonin (the hormone that makes us feel sleepy) at the same time that sleep pressure builds, it’s important to aim for bedtime to happen within the same 30-minute window each night.

One of the most effective ways to support this is by ensuring that the final nap of the day doesn’t run too close to bedtime.

At 6 months old, we typically want to aim for a wake window of 2 to 2.5 hours before bedtime. So, if you’re aiming for a 7:30 PM bedtime, she should be waking from her final nap no later than 5:00–5:30 PM.

So based on what you’ve shared, her current 4-nap schedule might look something like this:

• 6:30 AM – Wake

• 8:30 AM – Nap 1 (45 mins)

• 9:15 AM – Wake

• 11:15 AM – Nap 2 (45 mins)

• 12:00 PM – Wake

• 2:00 PM – Nap 3 (45 mins)

• 2:45 PM – Wake

• 4:45 PM – Nap 4 (45 mins)

• 5:30 PM – Wake

• 7:30 PM – Bedtime

Note: As she starts learning to fall asleep on her own in the crib, you’ll likely begin to see longer, more consolidated naps, especially during the first and second naps of the day. When this happens she will naturally start to have 3 naps per day instead of 4 (as there simply isn’t the time to fit 4 naps in).

I did note that you said you have been trying a 3 nap schedule with a contact nap for the past 3 days. So if you want to continue with a 3 nap schedule it might look a little like this:

• 6:30 AM – Wake

• 8:30 AM – Nap 1 (45 mins)

• 9:15 AM – Wake

• 11:15 AM – Nap 2 (1.5 hours, contact nap)

• 12:45 PM – Wake

• 2:45 PM – Nap 3 (45 mins)

• 3:30 PM – Wake

• 6:00 PM – Bedtime

If you’d prefer a slightly later bedtime, you can push the first nap later to give the rest of the day more room to shift. For example, starting Nap 1 at 9:00 AM instead of 8:30 AM might allow for a 6:30 PM bedtime instead of 6:00 PM.

That would look like this:

• 6:30 AM – Wake

• 9:00 AM – Nap 1 (45 mins)

• 9:45 AM – Wake

• 11:45 AM – Nap 2 (1.5 hours, contact nap)

• 1:15 PM – Wake

• 3:15 PM – Nap 3 (45 mins)

• 4:00 PM – Wake

• 6:30 PM – Bedtime

Overnight Wake

It’s great to hear that your little one is generally sleeping from 8:00 PM until around 3:00–4:00 AM — that’s a solid first stretch, and a really positive sign. That said, I completely understand how exhausting it must be to hold her for the rest of the night until her wake-up time at 6:30 AM.

Hopefully, that “fluke” night when she went back to sleep after her 3:30 AM wake is becoming more consistent.

If it hasn’t though and if she’s breastfed, would you consider offering a feed during that early morning wake, following the wake–feed–sleep routine?

The reason I suggest this is because it’s very common for breastfed babies at this age (6 months) to continue waking once overnight for a feed — often up until 9–10 months. I completely understand if it’s not your first choice, but if these early morning wakes keep happening and she won’t let you put her down, it could be that she’s genuinely hungry. In that case, offering a feed might help her settle back into the crib and sleep through until morning, rather than needing to be held for the remainder of the night.

If she’s formula-fed, it’s true that some babies are able to sleep through the night from around 6 months — but this really varies, as every baby is different. So, if she continues to wake around 3:00–4:00 AM and won’t go back to sleep unless you’re holding her, and you feel comfortable with it, you could try offering a bottle at that early morning wake. Then, see if she settles more easily in the crib afterward and sleeps until her usual wake-up time. If she does — that’s fantastic. If not, you can ago back to settling her without a feed.

Please let me know if this makes sense and seems doable.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

Thank you so much for your message — I can hear just how much you’re juggling right now, and I just want to say: you are doing such a fantastic job under really challenging circumstances. I can only imagine how exhausting this stretch has been, especially with your knees giving you trouble and the lack of sleep.

Based on what you’ve described, I think the recent changes in your little one’s sleep could be due to a few different things:

1. Starting solids – It’s not uncommon for babies to get a bit constipated when first starting solids. If she’s uncomfortable, this can absolutely impact sleep — especially when the wake-ups are irregular and settling is difficult, which matches what you’re seeing. It might be worth noting if the night after her bowel movements (especially after a laxative) is a little less disrupted.
2. Developmental leaps – You also mentioned she’s made a lot of developmental gains recently, which often affects sleep. These phases usually last 1–2 weeks, but since your challenges have continued beyond that, it might be more than just a leap.
3. Sleep associations and the need for movement – Over the past month, she’s come to rely on movement — whether that’s the pram or being held and bounced — to fall and stay asleep. Around 3–5 months, sleep cycles mature. Rather than drifting between cycles, babies start to wake briefly — and if the conditions they fell asleep in aren’t the same (like the pram stopping or arms no longer rocking), they fully wake and need those conditions recreated to fall back asleep.

So, what likely started as a helpful response to a tough patch has now become a habit she relies on. The good news is: you can gently shift this.

Daytime naps – easing into crib sleep without overwhelming her:

I completely understand that going straight to crib naps right now would likely be too challenging, so we can definitely take a more gradual and gentle approach.

Option 1 – Transitioning Nap Sleep Indoors Using the Pram:

One option is to continue using the pram for now, but start doing the first nap or the first two naps of the day indoors — specifically, in her bedroom.

The reason this helps is because it gently introduces her to the idea that the bedroom is a sleep space. Over time, this space becomes a familiar sleep cue, making it easier for her to settle there at bedtime and, eventually, for naps in the crib. If this feels manageable, here’s how it could look:

1. Nap routine: Instead of heading outside, bring her into the bedroom for her nap.

2. Begin with a shortened version of your bedtime routine. For example:

   • Do some dancing in the living room.

   • Head into her bedroom and turn off the lights.

   • Put on her sleeping bag (if she uses one).

   • Hold her and sing the same lullaby you use at bedtime.

3. When the lullaby finishes and she’s calm, lay her down in the pram in the bedroom.

Then, apply the settling pyramid — but with a pram twist:

• Instead of picking her up (which is the top of the pyramid), start by gently pushing the pram to settle her.

• Once she seems calm, gradually slow the movement.

• Then begin working your way back down the pyramid:

  • Stop pushing, and switch to patting and shushing.

  • Then just shushing.

  • Finally, stop shushing and quietly step out of her line of sight, allowing her to fall asleep on her own.

If she becomes unsettled when you lay her in the pram in a dark room, consider leaving the door slightly open or using a dim light — this mimics the brightness she’s used to from outdoor naps and may help her feel more at ease indoors.

By using the settling pyramid in the pram, you’re helping her practice falling asleep without constant movement, while still in a familiar sleeping space. This will make the eventual transition to the crib much easier for her — and gentler for you.

Option 2 – Gradual Outdoor Transition with Less Movement:

If Option 1 feels like too big of a leap right now, that’s absolutely okay. You can continue letting her fall asleep in the pram outdoors, but begin gently introducing a few changes to lay the foundation for independent sleep.

Start by incorporating a simple nap routine before laying her down in the pram. This could be something like:

• Do some dancing in the living room.

• Walk outside to the pram.

• Put on her sleeping bag (if she uses one).

• Hold her and sing the same lullaby you use at bedtime

• Lay her down in the pram

Next, begin to gradually reduce the amount of movement used to help her fall asleep:

• Instead of continuous walking or pushing, try slowing your pace or pushing over time.

• Eventually work toward her falling asleep in a stationary pram — this is the key goal before moving her to crib naps.

Once she’s able to fall asleep in the pram without needing constant movement, you can tweak her nap routine again slightly:

• After singing her lullaby and placing her in the pram, apply the settling pyramid while she remains in the pram.

• Rather than picking her up (which is the top step of the pyramid), start with gentle pushing to help settle her.

• Once she’s calm, gradually slow the pushing, and then begin climbing back down the pyramid:

  • Move from pushing to patting and shushing,

  • Then just shushing,

  • And finally, step away or out of sight, allowing her to fall asleep independently in the pram.

This slow, step-by-step method helps her become more comfortable with falling asleep without movement, while still using the pram as a familiar and comforting space.

To help encourage longer stretches of sleep overnight, here are a few key things that may help:

• Keep a consistent wake-up time — ideally within the same 30-minute window each day. Since her usual wake-up time is 6:30 AM, the latest you’d let her sleep in would be 7:00 AM. (Though it sounds like she’s fairly consistent with waking early already.)

• Continue using the modified version of the settling pyramid and if you need to hold her in your arms to help her fall asleep, try to gradually reduce the movement before she falls asleep so she’s drifting off while you are still. Also, it can help to pay attention to how you’re holding her — if she’s upright on your chest, consider repositioning her so she’s lying horizontally in your arms. This can make it easier to transfer her to the crib without waking her.

• When she wakes overnight, if it’s not feeding time, try settling her back to sleep in your arms with minimal movement. But if it is feeding time, go ahead and feed her. Focus most on doing this in the first half of the night, when sleep is deeper and it’s easier to resettle. In the second half of the night, it’s often harder to settle — so at that point, do whatever you need to (while keeping it safe) to get her back to sleep. If that means using the pacifier, that’s perfectly okay.

Over time, as she learns to fall asleep without movement and eventually settle independently in the crib, those night wakes should begin to reduce — especially during the first part of the night, and then gradually in the early morning hours too.

• Nap Routine Adjustment – From what you’ve shared, her current nap schedule looks something like this:

  • 6:30 AM – Wake

  • 8:20 AM – Nap 1 (1–1.5 hours)

  • 9:30/10:00 AM – Wake

  • 12:00 PM – Nap 2 (1–1.5 hours)

  • 1:00/1:30 PM – Wake

  • 3:30 PM – Nap 3 (30 mins)

  • 4:00 PM – Wake

  • 5:45 PM – Nap 4 (45 mins)

  • 6:30 PM – Wake

  • 8:30 PM – Bedtime

  Would you be open to gradually shifting her first nap later? So that it happens at 9am. If she can manage that, it opens the door to dropping down to a 3-nap routine, which is typical around 5 months when babies are having two longer naps.

  This would also allow you to shift bedtime earlier, which might help her fall asleep more easily and stay asleep longer. So her new routine might look like this:

  • 6:30 AM – Wake

  • 9:00 AM – Nap 1 (1–1.5 hours)

  • 10:30 AM – Wake

  • 12:30 PM – Nap 2 (1–1.5 hours)

  • 2:00 PM – Wake

  • 4:00 PM – Nap 3 (30 mins to 1 hour)

  • 4:30/5:00 PM – Wake

  • 7:00 PM – Bedtime

If you are happy to try this I recommend you adjust that nap time slowly so you could:

• Start by pushing Nap 1 to 8:30 AM for 3 days,
• Then shift it to 8:45 AM for the next 3 days,

• And finally to 9:00 AM.

Pacifier

Another thing I wanted to mention is the use of the pacifier. You shared that you introduced it to help her link sleep cycles — which makes perfect sense, as sucking is naturally soothing and often helps babies fall asleep more easily.

However, something that often happens at this age is that the pacifier falls out or shifts slightly while they’re asleep. Then, when they briefly wake between sleep cycles and it’s not there (or not exactly where it was when they fell asleep), they fully wake up, because that’s what they’ve learned to rely on to fall asleep in the first place.

Unfortunately, babies don’t typically develop the fine motor skills to replace or reposition the pacifier on their own until around 7 months, so this pattern is likely to continue until then.

Given that she’s waking frequently, it seems the pacifier may not be helping her link sleep cycles — and from what I remember, she was starting to suck her fingers, which could eventually become a more sustainable self-soothing tool.

Would you be open to gently fading out the pacifier? If so, here are two approaches you can try:

Option 1: Use the pacifier as part of the routine, but remove it just before she falls asleep.

Here’s how that might look at bedtime:

1. Start with her evening routine — for example:
   a quick shower, dancing/play in the living room, and a feed in the bedroom.

2. Pop the pacifier in after the feed.

3. With lights off, sing her bedtime lullaby while holding her.

4. When the lullaby ends and she’s calm, stop walking and begin patting and shushing.

5. Then stop patting and continue just shushing.

6. Once she’s calm and relaxed, lay her in the crib, continuing to shush.

7. While she’s still calm, gently slide your little finger between the pacifier and the corner of her mouth to remove it.

8. Then continue with the pyramid:
   stop shushing, and finish with just watching and listening.

Note: For some babies, removing the pacifier right before sleep works really well. For others, it causes them to fully wake or become unsettled.

Option 2: Remove the pacifier altogether.

If you try Option 1 and find that removing the pacifier consistently wakes her, it may be best to stop using it altogether. This avoids building a strong sleep association that will be difficult to maintain — especially during frequent night wakings.

I know this is a lot so please let me know what feels most manageable for you at this point in time.

Emma

• This reply was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

I just have a few more quick questions—sorry!

You mentioned that all of her naps are now in the pram, which is such a fantastic transition from the sling!

I was just wondering if you could walk me through her nap routine and how you’re getting her to fall asleep in the pram?

Also, when she’s asleep in the pram, where is the pram located?

Do you bring it into the bedroom, complete the nap routine there, and then leave her sleeping in the pram?

And just to double-check, I’m assuming it’s a bassinet-style pram where she’s lying flat, rather than sitting up in a reclined position?

I also noticed that she’s currently getting about 1–1.5 hours of sleep for her first and second naps, which is great! Are you needing to push the pram to help her link sleep cycles, or is she managing to stay asleep on her own?

Lastly, could you also update me on what time she typically wakes up in the morning and what time she usually goes to bed at night?

Thank you so much for answering all these extra questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

At 10 months old, it’s generally still a little early to transition down to one nap. Most little ones make that shift closer to 15 months, on average.

Also, something important to note — learning new skills like crawling (which it sounds like Ro’s doing!) can temporarily disrupt sleep and cause little bumps along the way. It’s very normal and just a sign of all the amazing growth happening.

Another thing to keep in mind is that it’s perfectly normal for babies to take up to 20 minutes to fall asleep. Since Ro is happily lying in his crib and eventually drifting off, it sounds like he’s just taking some natural wind-down time to settle himself, which is a really healthy sleep habit.

Since he’s a happy little guy and continues to sleep well overnight, you can absolutely keep following his lead.

However, if you’re concerned about how long it’s taking him to fall asleep at bedtime, here’s something you could try:

Over the next week, track the time he wakes up from his second nap and the exact time he actually falls asleep at night (not just when the bedtime routine begins, but when he’s truly asleep).
After a week, review your notes to see how long that final wake window really is.

Based on what you’ve shared and his age, I wouldn’t be surprised if his final wake window is around 4 hours—which is very typical for this stage of development.

If it turns out he does need a little more awake time before bed, you have two options:

• Option 1: Keep his current nap schedule but shift bedtime about 30 minutes later.
• Option 2: Adjust the timing of his naps slightly earlier in the day so that he naturally has a longer final wake window before bedtime.

If you’d like to try option two, let me know — we can work together to tweak his nap schedule!

Based on what you’ve shared, it sounds like his current routine looks something like this:

• Wake up: 6:00 AM
• First nap: 9:00 AM
• Wake: 10:15 AM
• Second nap: 1:45 PM
• Wake: 2:15 PM
• Bedtime: around 6:00 PM

Emma

• This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Marien,

I’m so glad everything is making more sense!

If your little one is awake for more than 2 hours, it’s absolutely not harmful for her.
You might find that she needs a little extra help winding down before falling asleep, but it’s not bad for her development at all. She will fall asleep — so please don’t worry.

As she gets closer to 4 months of age, her wake windows will naturally start to stretch, and she’ll likely be able to stay awake comfortably for 2 to 2.5 hours. This is a completely normal part of her development.

It’s also perfectly fine to try to extend her nap if it’s short and you’re able to do so (especially since most babies find it hard to go back to sleep after a brief nap).
The key focus at this stage is how she falls asleep at the start of the nap—that’s what helps build her independent sleep skills.

On that note, have you had a chance to start trying the settling pyramid with her yet to help her practice falling asleep in the crib?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

It’s fantastic that you’ve already started! How have the last few nights gone?

Have you noticed any small changes in how Maxi is settling—even if it’s just a little more calmness or slightly less time needed to relax?

Regarding Maxi’s daytime naps:

To help make sure he builds up enough sleep pressure to fall asleep in the crib at bedtime, we want to ensure he’s awake for about 1.5 hours before bedtime. Since your goal is a 7:30–8:00 PM bedtime, this means his final nap of the day should end around 6:00–6:30 PM.

On a 5-nap schedule, it could look something like this:

• 6:30/7:00 AM – Wake up

• 8:30 AM – Nap 1 (30–40 minutes)

• 9:00/9:10 AM – Wake

• 10:30 AM – Nap 2 (around 1 hour)

• 11:30 AM – Wake

• 1:00 PM – Nap 3 (around 40 minutes)

• 1:40 PM – Wake

• 3:10 PM – Nap 4 (30 minutes–1 hour)

• 3:40/4:10 PM – Wake

• 5:10/5:40 PM – Nap 5 (30–40 minutes)

• 5:40/6:10 PM – Wake

• 7:30/8:00 PM – Bedtime

Something else you could consider is to start to gradually extend his wake windows by about 15 minutes (from 1.5 hours to 1 hour 45 minutes). If you do this, you will notice that Maxi naturally drops the 5th nap (which it sounds like he is doing).

On a slightly longer wake window schedule, Maxi’s day might look like this:

• 6:30/7:00 AM – Wake up

• 8:45 AM – Nap 1 (30–40 minutes)

• 9:30 AM – Wake

• 11:15 AM – Nap 2 (about 1 hour)

• 12:15 PM – Wake

• 2:00 PM – Nap 3 (about 40 minutes)

• 2:40 PM – Wake

• 4:25 PM – Nap 4 (30 minutes–1 hour)

• 5:00/5:30 PM – Wake

• 7:00/7:30 PM – Bedtime

Even though you’re aiming for a 7:30–8:00 PM bedtime to keep him on track for a 6:30–7:00 AM wake-up, you might find that even with a slightly earlier bedtime (around 7:00–7:30 PM), he still wakes naturally between 6:30–7:00 AM.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

• This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by  Emma H.