[Emma H]

Hi!

Firstly, congratulations on the arrival of your little one! I hope you’re enjoying the newborn cuddles!

But I completely understand that the cuddles between 11pm and 2am would be extremely tiring.

Before I can provide some strategies, I just have a few questions. So when you have some time (which I know is hard with a newborn) can you please answer the questions below.
1. Does your little one accept a pacifier? Completely understand if you haven’t tried this yet given you’re breastfeeding.
2. Are you using a swaddle and if you are their arms up by their head or down by their side?
3. At night when they wake at 11pm are you keeping the room dark – so dark enough that you can’t read a book?
4. What time is your little one going to bed at night?
5. Do you know when this pattern started to emerge?
6. Are you following the wake, feed, diaper change, feed, sleep pattern overnight?
7. Between 11pm and 2am are you having to constantly feed them and hold them while they sleep or are you able to lay them down once they have fallen asleep while feeding and then they only have a short nap?
8. Have you started to wake your little one up at a consistent time in the morning?

Sorry for questions,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Cecilia,

Your writing is fantastic so no need to apologise!

Before I can provide some advice, I just have a few questions. I know it’s a lot, but the answers will help me get a clearer picture of what’s happening with his sleep.

When you have time, could you please answer these for me?

1. Does he sleep in the same room as you?
2. You mentioned he wakes at 7am in the morning – is this consistent?
3. Can you let me know what time he falls asleep and wakes from all 3 of his naps? So what his nap schedule looks like?
4. Can you please describe what his current nap and bedtime routines are?
5. After completing the routine can you step me through how you settle him to sleep?

6. Is his bedroom cool, dark (dark enough that you can’t read a book) and quiet?

Sorry again for the questions!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hopefully it helps!

[Emma H]

Hi Aistė,

Thank you for answering my questions. It sounds like your little one is doing well with weight gain and you’ve set up a great sleep environment.

Here are a few things you can try to help her settle back to sleep after her 11pm feed:

1. Consistent wake-up time Something that could help is starting to wake her up at a consistent time in the morning. This will help in the maturation of her circadian rhythm and can help to encourage longer stretches of sleep overnight. Ideally, this wake-up time occurs within a 30 minute window. So for example 7am – 7:30am.

2. Cap daytime naps You mentioned she naps for 2.5 hours during the day. Try waking her after 2 hours. This gives her more awake time during the day, which might encourage longer overnight sleep.

3. Consider skipping the burping You mentioned you feed her, burp her, then feed her again. Something you could consider trying is skipping the burping to see if she settles back to sleep more easily. If she stays settled, you can continue without it. If it makes no difference and she remains unsettled, go back to burping.

4. Pause before responding When she stirs overnight, pause to check if she’s truly awake. If she’s fussing but there are pauses between call-outs, wait and watch. This gives her a chance to fall back to sleep if she’s just in Active Sleep, which is when babies are often very noisy.

5. Consider your bedtime If you’re room-sharing, you might accidentally wake her when you enter the bedroom. If you notice she wakes when you come in or shortly after, try shifting your bedtime earlier or later to avoid disturbing her.

Do these suggestions sound possible?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

There are really a few subtle signs that it might be time to drop a nap. These include:

• Waking earlier in the morning than usual
• Nap times being pushed back
• Naps becoming shorter than usual
• Later bedtime
• Waking up during the night and staying awake for a few hours before going back to sleep

So if you notice any of these signs and it persists and Rohan isn’t sick then it might be a sign it’s time to drop to one nap per day.

In regards to travelling back to Brisbane and managing jet lag it’s great that you have planned the trip so that he might nap for the first stretch and then sleep for the second stretch. I have a few suggestions to make the transition a little easier.

During the Flight:

1. Stick to a Simplified Routine: Since you’re aiming for Rohan’s nap during the first flight and night sleep on the second, try to replicate his usual nap and bedtime routines as much as possible.

2. Offer Opportunities for Movement: Between flights and during the stopover, let Rohan stretch, crawl, or toddle around as much as possible. This will help burn off energy and make it easier for him to settle during the longer flight.

3. Stay Flexible: While you’ve planned for his nap and night sleep, be prepared for some unpredictability. He might take a little longer to fall asleep (because it’s a new environment and it’s often busy and distracting for them).

Upon Arrival in Brisbane:

1. Start the Day Between 6:00 and 7:00 am Local Time: This will help reset his internal clock. If he wakes earlier than 6:00 am, keep the lights dim and activities calm to signal it’s still nighttime. Once it’s time to start the day, get him into natural sunlight as soon as possible – this is key for adjusting his circadian rhythm.

2. Manage Nap Lengths: Initially, he might want to sleep for long stretches during the day due to the time difference. Avoid letting naps go over 2 hours to encourage longer stretches of sleep overnight. Time his last nap so there’s a full wake window before aiming for bedtime around 7:00–8:00 pm local time.

3. Stick to Familiar Routines: Use his usual nap and bedtime routines to signal that it’s time to sleep, even in the new environment. This consistency will help him feel secure and adjust more quickly.

4. Turn the Lights Down Before Bedtime: An hour or 2 before bedtime, turn down the lights in the house or switch to lamps. Bright lights can suppress melatonin production, which is the hormone that makes us feel sleepy, so reducing light exposure in the evening can make a big difference in settling him more easily.

5. Expect Nighttime Wakes: It’s normal for jet lag to cause wakeful periods at night. Keep the lights dim, avoid stimulating activities, and help him settle back to sleep as soon as he seems ready.

Typically, it takes 1 – 2 weeks to adjust to the time difference – especially when it’s so significant.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Cecilia,

The last few days sound like they’ve been really tough. Has it continued, or has it settled down so you’re now able to lay him down in the crib after he falls asleep in your arms?

If it’s still challenging, I have a few questions:

• Is his first nap still longer than the others?
• Do you find it easier to lay him down for this nap and possibly bedtime?

I’m wondering if a more gradual approach might work better for you. Instead of laying him down in the crib and then moving back up the settling pyramid before feeding him to sleep, you could try this:

Complete the bedtime routine as usual, but instead of laying him down in the crib, rock him in your arms while patting and shushing. Then gradually:

1. Stop rocking so you’re standing still, just patting and shushing
2. Stop patting so you’re only shushing while holding him
3. Let him fall asleep in your arms with just the shushing

The goal is to break the pattern of feeding him to sleep. This approach still allows rocking, but reduces the movement and sound so he learns to fall asleep without constant motion. This will make the transition to settling in the crib easier later.

You could start with just the first nap and bedtime. If it feels overwhelming, that’s absolutely fine – but if you feel you can do it for all naps, that’s great too.

You mentioned he’s getting heavy and rocking him is challenging. Do you have a rocking chair or exercise ball you could use? Either option provides movement without needing to hold and rock him in your arms. You can then gradually stop the rocking in the chair or bouncing before he falls asleep.

Does this feel more manageable?

Emma

[Emma H]

No worries at all Cecilia!

[Emma H]

Hi Cecilia,

Just let me know how his day naps go with the new schedule and if it isn’t working we can look at what needs tweaking.

Regarding your question about moving bedrooms when visiting relatives – this shouldn’t cause a long-term regression. The first night and day of naps might be a little more challenging than usual, but if you keep everything else the same – like the nap and bedtime routine, timing of naps and wake up time – he should adjust quickly.

Also, remember to take some blackout blinds and white noise machine (if you can) to try and keep the new bedroom quiet and dark.

Does that sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Julia,

You could shift her wake up time later to 8am while your on holidays but this will mean that her bedtime will need to be later to reflect this change. If that works for you and the family then that’s completely fine.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

That’s fantastic that bedtime has settled back down after you shorten the first nap. Sticking with this new routine sounds like a great idea.

Also, your plan of moving to one nap when he starts taking ages to fall asleep for bedtime or naps is a good plan. The only other thing that might signal that he is ready to drop a nap is if he starts waking early in the morning.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Cecilia,

That’s so good that he fell asleep on his own yesterday for the second nap! The fact that he fell asleep on his own shows that he’s learning the skill and all the changes you’ve made are starting to pay off.

Based on what you’ve written, I just have a few additional suggestions. Because I’d like you to continue with what you’re doing for another week or two, as I do think the changes you have made are helping and he just needs some more time to learn this skill.

Consistent wake up time It’s great that his wake up time is consistent. Continue to keep it consistent as this helps make the timing of his naps and bedtime more predictable.

Nap schedule tweak I was wondering if you’d be happy to adjust his nap schedule slightly so it looks like this:

• 7am – Wake
• 9am – Nap #1
• 10:30/11am – Wake
• 1/1:30pm – Nap #2
• 2:30/3pm – Wake
• 5pm – Nap #3 (30 minutes)
• 5:30pm – Wake
• 8pm – Bedtime

If he wakes earlier from the 2nd nap, just shift his final nap earlier. So if he starts the 2nd nap at 1pm and wakes at 2pm, shift his final nap to 4:30pm and wake him by 5pm. This means he might be awake for 3 hours before bedtime, but you might find with a slightly longer wake window he finds it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Bedtime routine adjustments Based on what you’ve mentioned, your bedtime routine looks like this:

• Sing a familiar calming song
• Quick shower, change nappy, apply almond oil and cream, put on pyjamas
• Close corridor and bedroom doors
• Turn air conditioning on
• Close window shutters while shushing
• Switch on small light and sing night-time lullaby
• Sing lullaby twice while rocking him
• Shush, put him gently in crib and walk out
• Use settling pyramid and feed to sleep if he gets too upset

Here are a few tweaks to consider:

1. Remove the small light The light could be stimulating and make it harder for him to fall asleep. If you do want to keep it on, can you place the lamp behind a piece of furniture?

2. Cool the room earlier
Put the air conditioning on 10 minutes before bedtime to cool the room down, as his core body temperature needs to drop before sleep.

3. Try rocking instead of feeding when he escalates If he does escalate to crying and you need to pick him up, would it be possible to rock him in your arms while walking around the room rather than breastfeeding him?

If you can switch to this, it’ll be easier to gradually slow down the walking so you’re standing still before he falls asleep (this gets him used to falling asleep without movement).

The other option is to offer a feed but stop once he’s calm, then move to walking around the room whilst shushing and patting his bottom. If he stays calm, stop walking and just continue shushing and patting, then gradually stop the patting and just shush, then stop shushing so he falls asleep in silence without movement.

This makes it easier to transition to the settling pyramid when he’s ready. You can try this tweak with daytime naps too.

I do think that once he learns to fall asleep on his own, those frequent overnight feeds will naturally start to drop off as he’ll be able to link sleep cycles without needing to breastfeed back to sleep.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

• This reply was modified 5 months, 2 weeks ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Meaghan,

It’s fine to continue in this thread.

Just to clarify I have a few additional questions:

• Am I right in assuming that your little one sleeps well in the crib overnight but it’s just the day naps which are challenging?
• You mentioned that when he sleeps in the crib he naps for 30 minutes but when you are holding him in your arms he naps for 1.5-2hrs. Based on this am I right in assuming that he does fall asleep in the crib for naps? If he does fall asleep in the crib how are you getting him to fall asleep?
• When you plan to let him nap on you or in the pram are you doing a nap routine before hand? So do you sing the lullaby?
• When you are planning to let him sleep on you are you holding him in your arms or wearing a baby carrier? Also, are you moving around or standing still?
• Have you been able to narrow his wake-up time down to a 30 minute window?
• Is he having 4 – 5 naps per day?

Sorry for the additional questions.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Thais,

That’s great to hear that the new nap schedule sounds okay!

Regarding your question – it’s absolutely fine if the first and third naps are the longer ones for him. This just might mean the timing of the third nap happens a little earlier (since the second nap is short).

The important thing is that he wakes from that final nap of the day by 4/4:30pm. This ensures he has a long enough wake window before bedtime so his sleep pressure builds up enough for him to fall asleep and stay asleep.

What can happen if that final wake window isn’t long enough is he might fall asleep initially but then wake 30-45 minutes later. This is because he was tired enough to fall asleep but not tired enough to stay asleep.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Meaghan,

They are constantly changing! 😂

Look forward to helping you tackle the latest development in the new thread

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

Since you mentioned that he’s quite happy to stay awake for 4 hours and you think he’s ready to drop to 1 nap a day, you could just push that first nap back to occur at 12pm – so the new routine would look like this:

• 7am – Wake
• Skip the morning nap completely
• 12pm – Offer his one and only nap
• 2-3pm – Wake naturally from nap
• 7pm – Bedtime

Do you think this would be too big of a jump for Rohan?

Emma