[Emma H]

Hi Anastasia,

I am not quite sure what your doula was referring to when she said their ‘learning center’ isn’t mature until 5 – 6 months. Usually when people refer to the ‘learning center’ in the brain they are referring to executive functioning and this isn’t mature until people are in their early 20s.

She might have been referring to their circadian rhythm, which is more likely. But again circadian rhythm doesn’t teach a baby how to fall asleep. What it does is promote wakefulness during the day and sleep overnight.

Using the settling pyramid teaches your baby how to self-soothe and fall asleep independently – this is something they need to learn through lots of practice. Once they master this skill, they’ll likely continue to apply it unless there are changes in how we interact with them. Consistency in your approach, such as maintaining a stable bedtime routine, is crucial for reinforcing these behaviours.

However, like any behaviour, if we change our response, they may become accustomed to this new method and expect it moving forward. For example, if your little one previously fell asleep on their own but got sick and you started rocking them to sleep, they may get used to that and continue to seek it to fall asleep.

If this does happen, you may need to guide them back to independent sleep, but the good news is that retraining often goes more smoothly the second time around.

But in my experience and with other children I’ve worked with, the settling pyramid has been effective and stuck.

The key is being consistent and predictable.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Anastasia,

At 3 months babies often discover their hands and love to suck on them! While this is exciting, it can sometimes distract them as they try to fall asleep.

If he is showing the early signs of learning to roll over (covered in the video ‘How to Dress Your Baby for Better Sleep’), it would be a good idea to start transitioning him out of the swaddle. You begin the transition at this point, as you’re less likely to disrupt their sleep if you do this transition gradually and free one arm first before freeing both arms.

If he isn’t yet showing the early signs of learning to roll over, I would continue swaddling him, especially since his sleep routine was recently disrupted after his vaccinations, and he’s just had his first good week. It will be easier to help him relearn how to fall asleep in the crib (using the settling pyramid) if he is swaddled.

Once he gets used to falling asleep in his crib, you can then transition him out of the swaddle, starting with the hand he prefers for sucking.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Anastasia,

It sounds like you’ve had a challenging few weeks, but it’s great to hear that things are looking up now. It’s completely understandable that you paused the sleep pyramid during this tough period—caring for a baby in discomfort is exhausting.

Another parent in our forum shared a similar experience following vaccinations, where their baby dealt with diarrhoea for about two weeks and was quite unsettled during that period.

It’s great to hear that your little one had a great week.

Since you’ve had a good week, it might be a good time to start reintroducing the techniques in the course. Unfortunately, how long it takes your little one to return to their normal routine can vary. But being consistent will help get them back on track as quickly as possible. So when you feel ready, I recommend you just go straight back to what you were doing before the vaccinations.

Hopefully, that helps!

Emma

P.S – If any other parents have had experience with this please jump in and let us know how long it took your little one to bounce back?

[Emma H]

Hi Maddie,

It sounds like you’ve had a real mix of nights recently, with everything from very challenging stretches to some positive progress.

Moving her to the big cot for naps is a good step, even if the initial results are just short naps. It’s all part of the adjustment process for her to get used to her new sleeping environment. It might feel like a big step now, but it’s beneficial in the long run, especially with the upcoming transition to her own room.

Feeding her to sleep occasionally, especially when out and about, is completely understandable. You’re doing what you need to do to manage the situation and keep her comfortable.

It’s great to hear that she’s starting to get the hang of settling at bedtime without feeding.

As for the settling pyramid and feeding to sleep, yes, there will likely come a point where she understands that sleep time doesn’t always equate to feeding time. It sounds like you’re already making headway with putting her down before she’s fully asleep and helping her get used to her cot. The key is consistency, even if it requires multiple attempts and some patience with the process. It might take a bit of time, but as she becomes more familiar with the routine and the environment, she should start settling more easily.

If you feel ready to you can start trying the settling pyramid now that you have successfully moved the last feed of the day to the start of the bedtime routine.

Also have you and your partner been able to agree on a settling approach for nap and bedtime?

It’s not too optimistic to hope for significant progress in the next few weeks—sometimes, it just clicks for babies after a period of adjustment.

Keep up the great work, and please do keep me posted on how things go!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jaime,

It’s great to hear that the soothing techniques worked well initially for your baby.

Unfortunately, at seven months old, babies often experience many developmental changes that can impact their sleep, including separation anxiety, teething (which should only be temporary), and major milestones like learning to crawl or stand.

The strategies in the course and the settling pyramid still work for babies beyond 6 months of age. I successfully used the settling pyramid with a 15-month-old (used to being rocked to sleep) to fall asleep in her crib on her own.

The main difference at 7 months is:

– They generally adopt a 3-nap schedule, with the timing of these naps being relatively predictable.

When they’re on a 3-nap schedule, they may stay awake for 2 – 2.5 hours before needing a nap. Generally, the amount of time they can stay awake is often shorter earlier in the day and longer later in the day.

– Bedtime and wake-up times are consistent, occurring in the same 30-minute window.

– Nighttime feedings may vary depending on whether you are breastfeeding or formula-feeding. Breastfed babies might still wake for a feed, whereas formula-fed babies might not.

With your little one, I recommend you continue implementing the strategies in the course:

– Keep the sleeping environment cool, dark, and free from sudden loud noises.

– Combine age-appropriate wake windows with his tired signs and the general pattern of wake, feed, play, and sleep.

– Continue doing the bedtime routine, but you can tweak it slightly. Sometimes, babies develop associations with certain parts of their bedtime routine that can trigger distress if they anticipate what comes next. Plus, as babies grow, they sometimes need a longer wind-down period before they’re ready to sleep. Changing the order of the routine or adding another activity might reduce his reactivity. For example, you might read him a short book as part of the bedtime routine. So his new bedtime routine might start with feeding him in a well-lit room, walking into the bedroom, putting on the sleeping bag, turning off the lights and closing the blinds, turning on the white noise, reading him a bedtime story, and then singing him a song before laying him down in his crib.

– You could use the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep when he is lying down in the crib. If you find that he protests a lot and you feel that staying in the room is too confusing for your little one and upsetting him more, you could consider laying him down in the crib and then leaving the room and do the watch and listen step while watching him on the monitor. So what I did with my daughter in the video titled Live Example: Reading Cues at 5 Months of Age.

I hope this helps,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jennifer,

It’s so good to hear you’ve found the course and the YT videos helpful.

Unfortunately, it’s quite common for babies to become more challenging to soothe to sleep overnight as they get older. In the newborn stage, they often fall asleep easily during feedings, but as they grow and become more aware of their surroundings, and start cycling through four stages of sleep, it can be harder to get them to fall and stay asleep after night feeds.

Before I can provide suggestions on how to address this and the daytime naps, I have a few questions:

• You mentioned your husband is more successful at transferring your little one to bed after overnight feeds. Have you noticed anything different in his approach or the techniques he uses?

• Regarding your bedtime routine (feed, nappy change, book, sleep sack, rocking, and lullabies), does he rock her to sleep after the lullaby? How do you usually help her fall asleep during the day and at bedtime?

• Does she use a pacifier?

• How many naps does she take during the day?

• Does she wake up at a consistent time each morning?

• Do you follow a wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day?

• Is she breastfed or formula-fed? If breastfeeding, does she accept breastmilk from a bottle?

• What’s her general daily schedule like, including wake-up, nap times, and bedtime?

You also mentioned that she has woken up three times in the past week after just 30 minutes of sleep. This might just be a temporary phase. If it continues for more than two weeks, then it might be developing into a habit that we need to address. But, to prevent it from becoming a regular pattern, you could try a couple of things:

1. Ensure she is truly tired at bedtime. The timing of her last nap can significantly impact her nighttime sleep. As babies grow, they can stay awake longer between the last nap and bedtime. You might need to shorten her last nap or adjust her bedtime slightly to ensure she builds up enough sleep pressure to fall asleep and stay asleep.

2. If she wakes after 30 minutes, listen carefully. If she calls out and then pauses before calling out again, give her some space to settle herself back to sleep. However, if her cries escalate in intensity without pauses, it’s best to go and soothe her back to sleep, keeping the room dark and quiet.

Thanks,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Sarah,

I am so sorry for my slow reply. The last few days have been quite hectic, as I had to take my youngest to the emergency room last night because she was having trouble breathing.

At this age, it’s common for babies to start exploring their hands and begin mouthing a lot. This might explain why he’s started mouthing during nap times. If this new activity is the cause, it should settle down within a week. However, he might also find comfort in sucking his hand. You could try leaving the hand he prefers to suck out of the swaddle while keeping the other hand swaddled to see if this helps. Initially, this might disrupt his sleep a bit, but if sucking on his hand helps him self-soothe, his sleep should start to improve after a couple of days.

In the meantime, ensure you continue to offer full feeds when he wakes from a nap. Feeding him in a bright and somewhat stimulating environment can help keep him awake during these times.

Additionally, if you haven’t started already, try to wake him up at the same time every morning, within a 30 minute window. This consistency helps develop his circadian rhythm and stabilises the timing of his first nap.

As babies grow, their sleep patterns mature, and they begin to cycle through four distinct stages of sleep. This development usually occurs between 3 to 5 months but can sometimes happen earlier. With matured sleep patterns, you’ll notice his naps become more consistent in length, unlike the more varied nap lengths you might have seen in the newborn stage. For example, let’s say during the newborn stage your baby might have had a 20 minute nap, followed by a 2 hour nap, followed by a 20 minute nap, then a 30 minute nap, but now he consistently naps for 45 minutes every single time.

Regardless of whether your baby’s sleep pattern has fully matured to include all four stages or is still in two stages, the methods you use to help him sleep don’t need to change. The same techniques (outlined in the course) for encouraging good sleep habits remain effective regardless of whether they are experiencing two stages of sleep or four.

I hope this helps, and things settle down soon!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Natalee,

It’s great to hear that your little one is enjoying more freedom and sleeping for longer stretches since transitioning from swaddling!

The behaviour you’re describing, where he’s flailing his arms and squealing in the middle of the night, is actually quite common among babies who have just made this switch. They’re often excited by their new ability to move more freely, which can indeed lead to some lively middle-of-the-night sessions.

As your baby gets used to the new freedom, the novelty of being able to move and play with his arms freely during the night should gradually decrease.

In saying that, it’s important to avoid falling into habits that might reinforce these new patterns of waking up during the night. To do this, it’s important to reinforce the idea that nighttime is for sleeping. Here are some strategies to help maintain this:

1. Keep the sleeping environment conducive to sleep. This includes ensuring the room is dark, is at a comfortable temperature, and is free from sudden loud noises. If he starts to play or squeal, the less stimulating environment might encourage him to go back to sleep sooner.

2. Limit Interaction During Night Wakings: When he wakes up at night, and he needs a feed or a diaper change try to keep interactions quiet and boring. Keep the lights dim and your voice low. This helps signal that it’s not playtime.

3. Wait and Watch: Sometimes, giving him a moment to self-soothe without immediate intervention can encourage him to go back to sleep on his own. As long as he is safe and not distressed (so he is happily playing), it’s ok to leave him and give him the space and time to play and then fall back to sleep on his own. If you find that he needs help falling back to sleep, and it’s not a typical feeding time, use gentle methods like the settling pyramid or rocking rather than feeding him back to sleep.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hey Monique,

Life does happen!

The past two weeks have been a whirlwind with my older kids on school holidays and my youngest needing a quick trip to the hospital.

It’s great to hear that you’ve made progress with removing the dummy at bedtime and that your little one adapted after a few nights. That’s a big step!

Sucking is indeed a comforting behaviour that can help babies settle down, but it’s not essential for them to fall asleep.

The challenge you’re facing with naps might stem from the fact that sleep pressure is the primary factor guiding your little one to fall asleep. Whereas at night, their circadian rhythm and sleep pressure work together, which helps them fall asleep more easily without a dummy.

It sounds like your little one might just need a bit more time and practice to get used to falling asleep without the dummy during the day. With patience and consistency, I’m confident you’ll see improvements soon.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jaime,

Wow, he is standing up already! That is so impressive! I know it might be challenging for you, but I am very impressed!

Unfortunately, when they learn to stand up, it can make bedtime and naps a little challenging. But here are some strategies which might help:

1. Consistency is Key: Continue with a consistent bedtime routine. This consistency helps signal to your baby that it’s time to wind down and sleep, not play.
2. Leave the Room: After completing the bedtime or nap routine, if you’re happy to, lay him down, leave the room and complete the ‘Wait, watch, and listen’ step by watching the monitor. If he is tired, the room is dark, and you’re not there, he is less likely to stand up and more likely to fall asleep.
3. Use a Sleeping Bag: Sleeping bags can make it slightly more difficult for him to stand up, which might prevent him from doing so in the first place.
4. Help Him Lie Back Down: At this age, he might be unable to go from standing to sitting and then lying back down. So, lay him back down when he stands up without much interaction or stimulation. This will show him that it’s not playtime. If he can go from standing to lying back down, there is no need to help him.
5. Practice Going From Standing to Sitting to Lying During the Day: You might also practice the lie-down routine during the day, showing him how to go from standing to sitting to lying down. Once he learns how to do this, he will be able to do it independently when he stands up in the crib at night.
6. Patience and Persistence: It might take some time, but with patience and persistence, he should learn that bedtime and nap time are for sleeping, not for standing and playing.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

It’s great to hear that she’s finding it easier to fall asleep for her daytime naps.

If she’s protesting more than usual at bedtime (and she had a nap that day), it might be because she’s not tired enough for her usual bedtime. You could try pushing her bedtime back a bit, from 6:30 pm to maybe 7:00 or 7:30 pm. If you do shift her bedtime later, keep waking her up at her regular time in the morning. This will help ensure her nap schedule stays consistent each day.

When you do use the garbage bag, as it is black, it can cause the room to heat up.

Another temporary option is static-cling blackout blinds. I recently tried out some static-cling blackout blinds called ergoPouch Window Blockout, and they were pretty effective. They blocked out the light well, stayed in place, and the backing was white, which helped keep the room cooler than other portable blackout options. I also liked that you can still open a window or door to let some air in, which isn’t always possible with portable blackout blinds that use suction cups, and you can cut them to fit any window shape. However, there are a couple of drawbacks: the room is always dark unless you remove them after every sleep, and for the window, I was using it on, I needed two packets – as it was large.

However, I’ve seen larger static cling blackouts on Amazon, and some brands also have velcro for easy attachment and removal. This could let you use the blinds just for naps and take them down during the day, although I’m unsure if the velcro tape will damage the window frame paint when removed.

I hope that helps,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Maddie,

Having a similar bedtime and naptime routine will be helpful for your little one, as consistency is key to helping her learn this new skill. The naptime routine should be a condensed version of the bedtime routine.

If your partner could watch the course, that would be great. Then, you’ll both start with the same knowledge, and you can tweak the strategies to what you both feel will work for your little one.

I would keep feeding her overnight when she wakes (as you both need to get back to sleep as quickly as possible) and just keep your focus on helping her learn how to fall asleep in her crib independently for naps and bedtime. Once she learns this skill, the overnight feeds will naturally reduce.

At this age, they become super distracted during daytime feeds (as they just want to play). In these instances, feeding her in a quiet room with the lights dimmed during the day can be helpful to ensure she has full feeding. I would only do this when you need to feed her when she wakes up from a nap. I wouldn’t recommend feeding her in a dark, quiet room just before nap time, as she is likely to fall asleep while feeding.

Ideally, you want her to be awake when you lay her down in the crib. But as your current focus is on teaching her how to fall asleep without feeding to sleep, settling her to sleep while she is lying in your arms is a great step forward. Just continue to make sure you stop the rocking and patting so that she falls asleep in your arms without any movement. Once she becomes comfortable with this, you can then move to try the settling pyramid again.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Angela,

I am so sorry for my slow response.

I had planned to join the forum yesterday, but my youngest had breathing issues and we had to rush to the emergency department. Thankfully, she’s doing fine now.

How have the past few days been, especially with the transition from the swaddle to the sleeping bag? Has she started to suck on her hands now that they’re free?

Regarding your question about sleep training, sleep training encompasses any method you use to improve your baby’s sleep. This includes establishing a bedtime routine, ensuring they sleep in a cool, dark, quiet room, and using strategies like the settling pyramid. These are all considered forms of sleep training that you can start from birth. However, if you’re thinking about methods like the check-in method—where you put the baby in the crib, leave the room, and return only for brief check-ins without picking them up—or the chair method—where you stay in the room but don’t interact physically— or CIO or the extinction method – where you place them in the crib and leave them to fall asleep – these are generally recommended for babies who are at least 4 months old.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

Giving her lunch at 11:30 should give her enough time to eat and poop (if needed) before her nap at 12:30 pm.

It should be easier for her to fall asleep at 12:30 pm compared to 11 am for two reasons:

• Increased Sleep Pressure: She’ll have been awake for an hour longer than usual, which builds more sleep pressure.

• Natural Body Rhythms: There’s a natural dip in circadian rhythms in the early afternoon that can make it easier to fall asleep.

If she starts settling into the 12:30 pm nap easily, you might experiment with gradually shifting the nap time to 12:00 pm. You could do this by moving the nap time up by 10 minutes every other day. However, it’s best to first see how well the 12:30 pm nap works for her.

She may be waking from her naps earlier because the room isn’t 100% dark. But it’s also common for toddlers to have shorter naps initially during a nap transition. Typically the naps will start to lengthen.

Having the room dark can definitely help them sleep for longer. So if you can try to make the room darker, there is no harm in trying. I have had success with using black garbage bags or bin liners to cover gaps in the windows or even hanging towels around the window edges to block out light. But if you can’t and the room is dark enough that you can’t read a book, it should be ok.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Maddie,

How have the last few nights gone?

It was great to hear that you settled her in her crib using shushing and patting after some rocking the other night. I know it currently requires more effort from you but with time it should get a lot quicker and easier.

You mentioned she wakes every 90 minutes to 2 hours overnight. This pattern suggests she wakes up completely after each sleep cycle and looks for what helped her fall asleep initially, like feeding or rocking. I also think the reason she stays awake after the 3 a.m. feed might be because she’s not tired, as she has already slept for about 7 1/2 hours. As a result, she is staying awake from a full wake window to build up enough sleep pressure to fall back asleep.

Teaching her to fall asleep independently in her crib could really help reduce these frequent overnight awakenings and stop the extended awake period from 3 to 5 a.m. Typically, once babies learn to self-soothe and fall asleep independently, the overnight wakes naturally reduce, as they can independently fall back to sleep between sleep cycles without needing help from another individual.

If you’re ready, it might be good to discuss with your partner and agree on a consistent approach to further develop her ability to fall asleep on her own. This involves separating the feeding from the sleeping process by continuing to feed her earlier in the nap and bedtime routines, then using the settling pyramid.

You mentioned that she doesn’t fall asleep while feeding from a bottle, so feeding her earlier during her nap routine might be easier than the bedtime routine. But it does sound like you managed to do this the other night.

While using the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep at bedtime, when she wakes overnight, continue to respond to her needs by feeding her, as I expect these will naturally start to drop off once she can fall asleep on her own.

Reviewing the course with your husband to see what he feels comfortable with could also be helpful—has he had a chance to watch it yet?

Regarding her morning wake-up time, aiming to get her up by 7 am at the latest could help. This way, her first nap would likely happen around 9 am, and subsequent naps would become more predictable too.

To distinguish between feeding out of habit (for comfort) and genuine hunger, observe the length of time she breastfeeds or the amount of formula she consumes. So when she breastfeeds overnight, start timing as soon as she latches and then stop timing when she is no longer actively feeding. You can tell she’s not actively feeding if there are no swallowing sounds, like little clicks, or if you don’t see her jaw moving. Longer feeding times typically indicate genuine hunger, whereas shorter durations are likely for comfort.

I hope this helps!

Emma