[Emma H]

Hi Nicola!

It’s so lovely to hear you loved the course. I’m always nervous when I first release a new course or a video as I never know if parents will find it helpful. So it’s honestly great to hear that you loved it!

It sounds like your little one has a great routine (except for the early morning wakes, of course). I don’t know if it helps, but you might find it comforting to hear that early morning wakes are quite common at this stage. You can do things to push those early wakes to between 6 and 7 am.

So that I can give you the correct answer, I have a few questions. When you have time (I know how busy life can be with a baby, so there is no rush), can you answer the questions below?

1. How do you get your little one to fall asleep during the day and for bedtime?

2. Do you have a routine that you do? If so, what’s the final step of the routine?

3. Does he use a pacifier?

4. Where does he sleep overnight?

5. Is there anyone else in the room? If there is, do they snore/are they a noisy sleeper?

6. At the early morning wake (4.30am—5:30am), is the house generally quiet? Is someone up getting ready for work? Are there animals in the house?

7. When he wakes for that 4.30/5 am feed, does he fall back to sleep if you hold him in your arms? Or does he stay awake and is ready to start his day?

8. When you feed him at 4.30/5am, do you have a light on in the room/is there some light creeping into the room, or is it dark (so dark enough that you can’t see your hand if you were to hold it in front of your face)?

9. For the 4.30am – 5am feed do you change his diaper or burp him after the feed?

10. What do you do if he stays awake after that early morning feed? Do you turn on the lights and start your day – so get up and have breakfast, or do you stay in the room and keep it dark until a set time?

Sorry for all the questions. I just want to understand what is going on before I provide possible reasons for the early morning wake and solutions.

Thanks

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jackie & JB,

Thanks so much for your lovely feedback. I love hearing that you are enjoying the course and the live demonstrations. Hopefully, my older kids weren’t too loud in some of the videos 😂

Regarding your question about catnapping and feedings. At this point, if your little one is following the wake, feed, play, and sleep pattern (which it sounds like she is), I would recommend offering her a feed when she wakes up from her nap. You will find that as she naturally starts to have longer wake periods between naps, the timing between the feeds will increase.

So I wouldn’t be concerned about feeding closer together at this point, as I expect that by the time she is 4 months of age, her wake window will be around 2 – 2.5 hours, which means you might be back to feeding her every 3 – 4 hours.

I hope that helps!

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Vivian,

Sorry for the confusion. When I refer to bedtime, I am talking about the time you place your little one in the crib or sleep space to fall asleep.

When you said that your little one’s bedtime is currently 9 pm, I took this to mean that he is in the crib falling asleep at that time. Hopefully, that’s correct.

You can encourage your little one to have an earlier bedtime, so shift it from 9pm to 7pm. You do this by gradually shifting the bedtime 10 – 15 minutes earlier every 2 -3 nights. This will also mean that you will need to start his bedtime routine 10 – 15 minutes earlier.

So, for example, if you have a bedtime routine that takes 15 minutes, it might look something like this:

– Night 1,2,3 – you start his bedtime routine at 08:35 pm and his bedtime (so the time you lay him in the crib) might be 08:50 pm

– Night 4, 5, 6 – you move his bedtime routine earlier by 10 minutes and start it at 08:25 pm and lay him down in his crib at 08:40 pm

– Night 7, 8, 9 – you move his bedtime routine earlier by 10 minutes and start it at 08:15 pm and lay him down in his crib at 08:30 pm

You continue doing this until you reach 7 pm bedtime.

It is possible to make this process quicker by shifting it earlier, 15 minutes at a time instead of 10 minutes. You will just need to be guided by what your baby can cope with. For some babies, the 15-minute shift is just too big, and 10-minute shifts work better.

Regarding the catnaps, my preferred method is to just go with it and work on those foundational skills in the meantime.

I hope that’s a little clearer.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Anastasia,

It’s great that you have completed the whole course. I hope you have found it helpful.

It’s also great to hear that your little one is sleeping well at night and has already fallen into the pattern of sleeping, eating, and sleeping overnight.

At this age, shorter naps are extremely common. This is mainly due to two reasons:

1. Sleep pressure guides when your little one needs to nap, and he will continue to sleep until something else demands his attention or he is no longer tired.
2. Your little one spends 50% of their time asleep in active sleep (a type of REM sleep). This lighter sleep phase is easily disturbed by temperature changes, loud noises, and sudden movement. Therefore, the naps can be accidentally cut short these things. Plus, we can accidentally wake them up if we misinterpret their movements and sounds during active sleep as being awake.

The good news is that your little one is getting a good amount of sleep over 24 hours. Given that catnapping is extremely common at this age and he is getting a good amount of sleep, I recommend just letting it be and going with the catnaps.

At this age, it’s important to work on the foundations for great sleep, as these will help your little one nap for longer if he needs a longer nap (by reducing the chances of waking him up prematurely) and help him learn to fall asleep independently (which will take a lot of practice and time, as it’s a skill he needs to learn).

These foundations include:

1. Creating a sleep environment that is conducive to sleep – so cool, dark and free from sudden loud noises.

2. Pausing when he initially stirs during his naps to ensure that he is truly awake and not in REM sleep or cycling between sleep cycles.

3. Helping him learn to fall asleep independently (by learning this skill he will have the ability to link sleep cycles when he is developmentally ready to between 5 – 6 months).

4. Combining wake windows with tired signs and his general pattern to put him to bed when tired and ready for sleep.

5. Having a set – wake up time.

6. Swaddle him for sleep if you’re willing to (this will reduce the startle reflex and encourage him to sleep longer).

Plus the other strategies mentioned in the course.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Anastasia,

I love that you are here too!

It’s great that you have figured out that your little one finds the pacifier soothing during the fussy period, and it helps him fall asleep.

Regarding your question about whether I recommend taking it out while helping him fall asleep – there are two times when I would consider this.

The first situation is if your little one spits out the pacifier on going to sleep, making it challenging to fall asleep. The second situation is if he spits it out during sleep, and this causes him to wake up more than expected at this age.

If this is happening with your little one, you can try this technique:

1. When your baby is tired, let him suck on the pacifier while you complete the pre-sleep routine.

2. At the end of the pre-sleep routine, lay him in his crib with the pacifier still in his mouth.

3. Then, use the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep.

4. Just before he drifts off to sleep, gently remove the pacifier by placing your little finger between the pacifier and the corner of his mouth. This breaks the seal and allows you to pop the pacifier out of his mouth.

5. For some babies, this works, and they fall asleep without the pacifier. But for other babies, this may cause them to stir more (at which point you use the settling pyramid to help them fall asleep), and for others, it causes them to wake up fully.

If you try this technique a few times and your little one continues to wake then you have a few options:

Option 1: Continue to use the pacifier and pop it back into his mouth when needed. With this option, there may be a point where you don’t have the energy to do this anymore, as it happens too frequently. And you may decide to remove the pacifier completely or just use it at the start of your baby’s pre-sleep routine.

Option 2—Continue to use the pacifier for the fussy times during the day and at the start of the pre-sleep routine, but stop using it for sleep. In this situation, you would use the pacifier at the start of the pre-sleep routine but remove it just before you lay him in the crib. Then, use the settling pyramid to help him learn to fall asleep without the pacifier.

If you wish to continue using the pacifier, I wouldn’t worry about popping it back in when it falls out during deep sleep. By not popping it back in you’re giving him the chance to learn to link cycles without it. This will be easier for him to achieve at the beginning of the night because he will be starting to have longer stretches of sleep at the start of the night very soon (if not already), and we don’t want to become reliant on the pacifier to link sleep cycles.

I hope this helps!

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

No worries at all. Good luck and if you’re happy to, let me know how you go!

[Emma H]

Hi Vivian,

Great question!

What you will find is your baby’s bedtime will naturally start to creep forward between 3 – 4 months of age. It will become consistent (occurring within the same 30-minute window) by around 4 months of age. To help his bedtime shift to an earlier time, you could gradually move his bedtime forward by 10 -15 minutes every 2 – 3 nights until you reach your desired bedtime.

Another way you can help move bedtime earlier is by starting the day within the same 30-minute window, so having a set wake-up time. If you are aiming for a 7 pm bedtime eventually, I would try and make that wake-up time around 7 am. Having a set wake-up time will help reset your baby’s circadian rhythm and lead to a consistent bedtime.

I’m not sure if you had a question about catnaps. If you want advice on how to manage them during the day, have you been able to watch the video on catnaps?

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jaime,

Sorry, I called you JC before. I am not sure why I did that!

It’s great that your little one has already figured out how to put it back in his mouth—even though it’s the wrong way!

You’re right. The AAP recommends back sleeping to prevent SIDS, but the recommendation changes slightly once the baby can roll in both directions. They still recommend you lay the baby on their back when you place them in the crib, but you can let them settle into the sleeping position they prefer (whether it’s on their back or tummy). You still want to ensure the crib is free from toys, loose blankets, crib bumpers, etc., and your baby is sleeping on a flat, firm surface covered by a fitted sheet.

So if you’re happy to next time it’s time to sleep, lay him on his back, step out of his line of sight, and just watch and listen. Doing this gives him time to find the position he prefers and a chance to fall asleep. If he starts to fuss, you would move up the pyramid (regardless of whether he is lying on his back or tummy). The only difference is that if he is lying on his tummy, you would pat him on his back or bottom instead of his chest. Then, as he starts to settle, you would move back down the pyramid.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Monique,

To make sure that I give you the right advice I just need a bit more information. So when you have time and if you’re happy to, can you answer the following questions?

1. How old is your baby?

2. What time does her last nap of the day end?

3. What time is her bedtime? Is this time consistent or does it vary?

4. What time does she tend to fall into a deeper sleep (so when she sleeps for about 2 hours)? Does this time vary or is it consistent?

5. What does she wear to bed? Is she in a swaddle, sleeping bag with arms free etc?

6. Where does she sleep – what’s the room like?

7. Does she use a pacifier and if so do you need to pop this back into her mouth often?

Thanks

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi JC!

It’s great that your little one has learned to roll in both directions. But as you have noticed, this can impact sleep. Generally, once babies learn to roll over, they start to sleep on their tummies. Would you consider leaving your baby when he rolls over onto his tummy before he falls asleep and using the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep in this position if needed?

In regards to the pacifier, there are two options.

1. Teach him how to put the pacifier back in his mouth independently.

You should teach him this when he is happy and awake. So, during playtime, lay him in his crib or sleep space and place pacifiers around him. Then, let him practice finding the pacifiers and putting them in his mouth while lying down. The hope is that once he learns this skill, he can find the pacifier during the night and put it back in himself. Keep in mind, though, your baby might not have the fine motor skills required to achieve this skill until around 7 months of age, so until then, you might need to keep popping the pacifier back in.

2. Remove the pacifier.

If you need to pop the pacifier back into his mouth often to get him to fall asleep or encourage him to stay asleep, and you don’t want to continue doing this, you can remove the pacifier.

It’s important to note that removing the pacifier will be challenging at any age, as your baby will need to learn how to soothe himself to sleep without using the pacifier. However, removing the pacifier at this age can be easier than when he is a toddler. Either way, if you decide to do it now or in future years, you will notice a change in his sleep habits as he learns a new way to fall asleep.

If you do choose to remove the pacifier at this point, I recommend you stop using it for all sleep (naps and overnight) and use the settling pyramid to help your little one fall asleep. Removing it from all sleep is less confusing for your baby and gives him lots of opportunities to learn a new way of falling asleep, which will help him learn this new way of falling asleep quicker.

It is going to be a little challenging at first but with time your baby will be able to soothe himself to sleep without the pacifier.

I hope that helps,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Taylor!

It’s so good that you have been able to work through the course and start the strategies already.

But even more importantly, successfully help your little one fall asleep in the crib for his first nap today! I am so excited for you!

Hopefully, you got to enjoy a tea or coffee, some breakfast, or a shower during this nap!

It’s not surprising to hear that your little one starts crying as soon as you lay him down in the bassinet for later naps. You will find that you might have more success with the first nap of the day, and each consecutive nap requires a little more effort to settle them down. Babies tend to find it easier to fall asleep for their first nap.

It can also be helpful to remember your little one is learning a new way to fall asleep, so he will need time to get familiar with it.

If you’re happy to continue using the settling pyramid, responding to his needs and picking him up to settle him back down if needed. Once he calms down in your arms, if you have the energy and time, lay him back down in the crib and descend the pyramid. For example, lay him down and immediately start patting and shushing him. As he calms down more, stop patting him and continue shushing. Then move to shushing out of view, and if he stays calm, stop shushing and watch him.

Regarding your question, why doesn’t he cry when you lay him down in the crib with the lights when you need hands-free time? One possible reason for this is timing. He might not be tired at this point. If he isn’t tired, he may be happy lying on his back looking around the room and, therefore, doesn’t need to communicate to you through crying that he wants something. But when you place him in the crib for sleep, he is tired and lets you know that by crying. Does that make sense?

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Natalee,

I hope you enjoyed your holiday!

Now that you’re back into the routine of everyday life, you can certainly return to having your little one nap in a crib.

Applying the settling pyramid techniques is the best way to help him learn to nap in a crib. However, a slower approach could be implementing a nap routine, which you do even if you plan for him to fall asleep on you. Part of this nap routine should include a calming activity as the last activity (e.g. singing a song as you rock him in your arms) before letting him fall asleep on you or in the crib. The idea is that these activities will become a sleep cue for your baby so that when you are ready to practice laying him down in the crib for naps, he will know what is expected of him and find it easier to fall asleep.

When he does fall asleep while napping on you, you could also consider laying him down in the crib to finish his nap. But know that he will likely have a short nap. This is because catnaps are normal. At this age, babies wake between sleep cycles (which are every 30 – 45 minutes), and if they need help falling asleep or their sleeping environment has changed (so he is no longer lying on you), they are likely to wake fully.

Another option is to only apply the settling pyramid for his first nap of the day. Babies tend to find it easier to fall asleep for this first nap, so you are more likely to have success with this one. Then, for the other naps, you can continue offering contact naps. Once he starts to sleep in the crib for the morning nap, you could apply the settling pyramid for the second nap of the day and continue contact napping for the other naps. Then, once he is sleeping in the crib for the first and second nap, you can apply the settling pyramid for the third nap and so on, until he is sleeping in the crib for all of his naps (when you’re at home, of course!)

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jean-Benoit!

It’s great you have been able to work with your baby’s pediatrician to identify the milk intolerance, and you have the support to work through any other concerns with your little one’s health. Did your baby’s pediatrician say how long it should take before you see some changes in your baby’s discomfort due to the milk intolerance? I am not an expert on this topic, but I have worked with other parents whose babies have had milk intolerances and were told that it could take up to 2 weeks after starting the formula to see some improvements. If this isn’t something you have discussed with the pediatrician, then it might be helpful to know, particularly if your baby’s restlessness/difficulty sleeping might be due to pain (due to the milk intolerance), and this should resolve soon.

In regards to your question, is it too late? It’s never too late to implement these practices. It’s great to hear you already have a good environment and a bedtime routine.

I just have a few questions.

1. How does your little one sleep during the day? E.g., how long does she nap for, where does she sleep, what is she wearing and how does she fall asleep)?

2. When she wakes every 20 – 45 minutes during the night is this at the beginning of the night, in the second half of the night or the early morning hours or all through the night?

If it is at the beginning of the night, is there a time that she tends to settle into a deeper sleep? If you’re not sure about this, consider writing down the time she settles into a deeper sleep for the next few nights. If you find it is the same time, for example at around 10 pm she falls into a deeper sleep, then her bedtime might be 10 pm at this point and the constant wakes at the beginning of the night is because she isn’t truly tired. Shifting her bedtime to a later time might resolve these short naps at the start of the night.

3. Are you having to hold her in your arms all night or are there times when you can place her in the crib?

In regards to what you can do in the now all the strategies in the course will help you get longer stretches of sleep in the crib, but here are the main things I recommend you try. Remember that these strategies take time, so if they don’t work the first, second, or third time, please persist.

1. Apply the settling pyramid for naps and bedtime (if you don’t have the energy – as I know you would both be exhausted – just attempt the morning nap. Babies tend to find it easier to fall asleep for their first nap. This strategy allows her to lay in the crib and potentially fall asleep in the crib rather than in your arms.

2. Consider trying other swaddles. Babies are sometimes pros at escaping one brand of swaddle but not others. Have you tried other swaddles with your baby’s arms down by her side? In particular, have you tried the HALO SleepSack Swaddle?

3. When your little one initially stirs, remember to pause. Listen to her callouts and watch her movements. If the calling out becomes persistent and there are no pauses, then it is likely she is awake. If there are pauses between the callouts and they stay the volume, give her some time, as she might be in active sleep or passing between sleep cycles and might return to sleep.

4. When she wakes during the night for a feed, keep the lights low (use red light if possible) and keep distractions to a minimum. Follow the unwrap (if using a swaddle), feed, change the diaper and re-swaddle (if needed), feed, and then sleep routine.

5. Have a set morning wake-up time. This will help reset her circadian rhythm each morning and should encourage a regular bedtime and more sleep during the night.

I hope this helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Maya,

The CIO approach can be highly distressing, so I really hope you’re all doing ok!

Before I provide any advice, I was hoping you could give more information about your little one’s sleep.

Can you expand on what you mean when you say he naps well during the day? In particular, I have the following questions:

• How long are his naps?
• How many naps does he generally have each day?
• Where does he usually nap? For example, in a crib, your arms, a recliner, or a baby carrier.
• How does he fall asleep for naps? For example, do you complete a nap routine and then lay him down in the crib to fall asleep, or do you rock/feed/hold him until he falls asleep?

Regarding his overnight sleep, I have the following questions:

• What time is his bedtime?
• How does he fall asleep?
• How long does he initially sleep at the start of the night?
• How often is he waking throughout the night?
• How often are you feeding him, and when you feed him, where do you feed him?
• Where does he sleep?

Regarding his restless legs, have you been able to take a recording of this to show the doctor? If not, I recommend you record your baby while he sleeps during one of these episodes and keep a written record of how often and how long these restless leg movements occur over 2 – 3 nights. Once you have done this, I recommend you take it to his doctor to show him the recording and the data to see if the restless leg movements are more than typical behaviour.

Emma

[Emma H]

No worries at all. Let me know how you go!