[Emma H]

Hi Catherin,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful message — and for following along with my YouTube videos and taking the Peaceful Dreams course! I’m so glad it’s been helpful!

From what you’ve described, it sounds like your little one is currently falling asleep during her bedtime feed, then continuing to sleep in your arms before being transferred to the crib. This can work for a while, but as you’ve started to notice, it can cause difficulty when transferring her to the crib — especially if she stirs during the process.

The reason this is happening has to do with something called sleep pressure — one of the two systems that help drive sleep. When she initially falls asleep (especially in your arms), that sleep pressure begins to dissipate. Then, if she stirs or wakes up when being placed in the crib, she’s not as tired as she was when she first drifted off, which makes it harder for her to fall back to sleep without significant help — even with the settling pyramid.

For the settling pyramid to work well, it’s most effective when used before she falls asleep — ideally while she’s still awake but calm.

Now, since it’s so hard to keep babies from falling asleep during feeds, I was wondering if you would be happy to move the feed to the start of the bedtime routine? So it might look like this:

• Change into pajamas
• Offer her full feed in a brighter, more stimulating room (like the living room). This will help her stay more alert during the feed.
• If you notice she’s slowing down or just sucking without swallowing, gently pause the feed to wake her a bit — you can change her position or even do a quick diaper change mid-feed if needed.
• Once the feed is finished, move into the bedroom.
• Put her in her sleeping bag (if you use one), close the blinds, dim the lights,
• Sing a lullaby while you hold her in your arms
• Then lay her in the crib while she’s still awake but calm, and apply the settling pyramid if she needs some support falling asleep.

By simply moving the feed to the beginning of the bedtime routine, you’ll help ensure that her sleep pressure is still high when she’s placed in the crib. This makes it easier for her to fall asleep independently and allows the settling pyramid to be more effective if you need to use it. It should also reduce the overall time it takes to settle her to sleep.

Note: At this age, the “Watch and Listen” step can sometimes be a bit frustrating for babies if you’re doing it in the room — they can see you, but you’re not actively helping, which can feel confusing or upsetting for them.

One option is to try doing this step just outside the room while watching her on the monitor. If she calls out but there are pauses in between, give her a few minutes — it can take up to 20 minutes for babies to fall asleep. But if she’s calling out continuously with no pauses, that’s her way of saying she needs your help. In that case, go in and move up or down the settling pyramid as needed, staying in the room to support her until she falls asleep.

Does this sound okay?
Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Didier and Elisa,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful update — it’s wonderful to hear that she’s taking longer naps again! That’s a big win and definitely a step in the right direction.

How have the last few mornings gone with the early wake-ups? Have they continued, or have you noticed any changes?

I also wanted to check — is she still room-sharing with you? If so, is anyone in the room getting up or moving around between 4:30 and 5:30 AM (e.g., going to the toilet, checking the phone, etc.)? Sometimes even subtle noises or light changes can cause little ones to stir, and if they’re nearing the end of a sleep cycle, it can be just enough to wake them fully.

If that’s not the case — and no external noise or disruption is waking her — then it’s worth considering that her early wake-ups may be linked to her overall sleep needs. Typically, if a baby is still tired at 4:30 or 5:00 AM, a feed or some contact will help them settle back to sleep. But since she isn’t responding to either, and you’ve already experimented with adjusting both bedtime and nap quality, it’s possible that her first nap is reinforcing the early start to the day.

That said, based on what you’ve described, it really sounds like she’s genuinely well-rested and waking for the day. The fact that she wakes up alert, vocal, happy, and ready to play — and doesn’t settle back down even with a feed or contact — suggests that she may simply be approaching her total sleep need over a 24-hour period, especially since she already has the ability to fall asleep independently.

Would you be open to gently capping her daytime naps for the next week to see if it helps her sleep later in the morning? You could aim for a total of around 3.5 to 4 hours of daytime sleep, which is still very appropriate for her age but slightly less than she’s currently getting. A sample structure might look like this:

• Nap 1 – 1.5 hours max
• Nap 2 – 1.5 hours max
• Nap 3 (catnap) – 30 minutes max

While doing this, it can also help to gradually shift her overall wake-up time and nap timings to gently reset her circadian rhythm. Since you mentioned she becomes distressed if left for too long in the crib in the morning (which is totally understandable), here’s a very gentle approach you could try over the next few days:

When she wakes early (e.g., at 5:00 AM), keep the room dark and try to soothe her quietly in your arms if she’s upset. If she’s just vocalizing and happy, you can leave her in the crib for a few minutes. Wait 10 minutes before turning on the lights and starting the day — including feeding. This delayed start will help shift her internal clock gradually.

For example:

• Day 1–3: If she wakes at 5:00 AM, soothe or wait quietly in the dark until 5:10 AM, then turn on the lights, begin the day, and offer her first feed.
• Day 4–6: Stretch that delay to 5:20 AM, and so on — moving in 10-minute increments every 3 days.
• For all naps, try to shift their start times slightly later too — for instance, if the first nap was at 7:00 AM, aim for 7:10 AM on day one, then 7:20 AM by day four, etc.
• The key is to keep bedtime consistent — ideally around 7:30 – 8:00 PM — regardless of what time she woke that morning.

And one more note — if she naturally wakes later (closer to 6:00 AM or beyond), that’s great! You wouldn’t need to wake her at 5:10 just to stick to the plan. Let her sleep, and just continue with the day as usual while keeping the bedtime the same.

Does this sound okay?

Emma

• This reply was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Catherine,

Welcome to the community!

It’s so lovely to meet you and hear about your two little ones. I’m sure Gwenna and Damian are keeping you very busy – especially Damian being 19 months and I’m assuming on the move and exploring lots!

I love that you’re thinking ahead with Gwenna’s sleep and wanting to set up healthy foundations early.

Looking forward to hearing more about what you’re experiencing and helping you create better sleep for everyone in your household!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Livia,

😂I completely understand the forum confusion – technology keeps evolving faster than we can keep up sometimes! Being a millennial navigating forums on phones really is its own special challenge. You’re definitely not alone in finding it a bit tricky at first.

I’m sorry to hear that Emilia has reflux and it’s making sleep challenging for both of you. Reflux can absolutely be tough when it comes to getting good rest, but there are definitely strategies that can help.

To get specific advice on how to improve Emilia’s sleep, the best place to share any challenges you’re facing is to post a thread in the “Baby Sleep Help” forum. To access this on your phone, once you have logged in you will see a menu bar in the top left-hand corner, click on that and then click on forums. Once you’re in the forum, click on “Baby Sleep Help” and then post a new thread.

Before posting your question though, I’d suggest having a quick browse to see if another parent has already had similar concerns that I’ve provided advice on. If there is – great! You’ll have something you can try straight away. If not, then start a new thread outlining your concerns and I’ll provide tailored advice specifically for Emilia’s situation.

Looking forward to hearing more about what you’re experiencing and helping you and Emilia get better sleep!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Pav,

It’s great to hear that Rohan is continuing to fall asleep quickly and sleeping well overnight.

From what you’ve described, it’s very likely that his natural pattern is that he tends to sleep longer for the first nap and have a shorter second nap – this really seems to be his pattern since he was little.

However, it could also be because he is staying awake too long before the naps. Or it could be because he doesn’t need a lot of daytime sleep and he is getting most of that daytime sleep in the first nap of the day.

I was wondering if you would be willing to try a more time-based nap schedule and see if this leads to him having a longer second nap? This will help us test which theory is correct.

Proposed Schedule (for 7 days):

Based on 6:30/7am wake up and 7pm bedtime – let me know if these aren’t his current times

• 6:30/7 AM – Wake-up
• 9:00 AM – First nap
• 10:30 AM – Wake (if still sleeping)
• 1:00/1:30 PM – Second nap (1:30 max nap length)
• 2:30/3:00 PM – Wake
• 7:00 PM – Bedtime

I know Rohan tends to have a longer wake window before that first nap of the day but usually on a two-nap schedule, wake windows typically lengthen throughout the day, often following a 2-3-4 pattern—a 2-hour wake window before the first nap, 3 hours before the second nap, and 4 hours before bedtime.

What to track:

• How long it takes him to fall asleep
• Length of each nap

If needed after 4 days: If the second nap continues to be short despite a long first nap, cap the first nap at 45 minutes. This would move the second nap to around 1pm.

Does this sound okay to try?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Livia,

Welcome! It’s so lovely to have you here — and a big warm hello to baby Emilia too! 😊

You’re definitely not alone in wanting to improve sleep at this age, and it’s wonderful that you’re reaching out to connect with other parents as well.

Feel free to share what Emilia’s sleep looks like at the moment or any challenges you’re facing — I’d love to support you with some ideas to make things a bit easier.

Looking forward to chatting more with you!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin!

I hope you had a lovely weekend! 😊

It would be great if you do let me know how you go with keeping that strict 2-hour wake window before bed and whether that helped make things a little easier in the evening.

Remember, Maxi needs time to adjust and learn so if you can I recommend you give this a go for a week and then let me know how he goes.

Looking forward to hearing how you’re getting on!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Luise,

How have the last few days gone for you and your little one?

Has her sleep started to settle a little, or are things still feeling just as tough?

From what you described, it sounds like it’s been a really challenging few days — and understandably so. Changes in sleep, feeding, and wake windows can feel overwhelming, especially when everything was going quite smoothly before.

If her sleep hasn’t improved, there are a couple of common reasons this might be happening. Let’s go through them one by one so we can start narrowing down what might be going on.

1. Could it be the early 4-Month Sleep Regression?

Even though it’s called the “4-month” regression, it can actually start as early as 10 to 12 weeks. What’s happening is that your baby’s sleep is maturing — she’s moving from newborn-style sleep (where there are just two basic stages) into more adult-like sleep cycles with lighter and deeper phases.

This shift can look like:

• Short naps (only 30–50 minutes) because that’s one full sleep cycle

• Night wakes every 1.5 to 2 hours, often like clockwork, at the end of each cycle

• Struggling to go back to sleep, even with your help like patting or feeding

If this sounds like your little one — and her night wakes are happening at a regular time, like every 90 minutes or so — almost like clockwork – then it’s likely the 4 month sleep regression. And the way to get her back to having longer stretches of overnight sleep is by helping her learn how to fall asleep in the SNOO or crib.

2. Or Could It Be Discomfort/Illness?

There were a few things in your message that made me wonder if something else might also be going on:

• She’s falling asleep very quickly while feeding

• Her wake windows are very short — sometimes just 10 or 20 minutes before she’s showing tired signs again

• You’ve noticed more liquid stools (alright you are right this could also be due to the fact that she is feeding more regularly)

These signs can sometimes point to temporary discomfort like a mild virus, tummy upset, or something else. If discomfort is the cause, you’d usually see:

• Wakes that aren’t regular — not every 90 minutes, but more random or unpredictable

• Crying that seems more intense or distressed

• A baby who’s more unsettled or fussy overall — not just during sleep, but also when awake

So if her wake windows are unpredictable – especially overnight – then the change in sleep patterns might be due to discomfort or illness. And her sleep should return to normal once she is well again.

Emma

[Emma H]

HI Giedre,

That’s wonderful—even a few nights of her staying asleep at bedtime is real progress! 🎉

It will be interesting to see whether tightening her wake‑up, nap, and bedtime windows helps her string those good nights together more consistently.

About her waking an hour in: you’re right that many babies stir at the end of their first sleep cycle because they haven’t yet learned to link cycles on their own—especially if at bedtime they have fallen asleep somewhere other than the crib (eg. in your arms or while feeding).

Another culprit can be the timing of when you enter the room. If you go in while she’s in a light‑sleep phase or transitioning between cycles, you may unintentionally rouse her.

If you suspect this is happening, check the baby monitor before you enter:

– Still and quiet: She’s in deep sleep—safe to go in.

– Moving or murmuring: She’s in light sleep—wait a few minutes for her to return to deep sleep before entering.

Another possibility is that her actual bedtime isn’t quite aligned with her sleep needs yet.

Once you’ve tried the tighter wake‑up, nap, and bedtime windows, let’s see whether her evenings smooth out and that one‑hour wake‑up fades away.

Let me know how it goes!

Emma

• This reply was modified 4 months ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 4 months ago by  Emma H.
• This reply was modified 4 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

That’s wonderful that Maxi is happily napping in the co‑sleeper!

Please let me know how the strict two‑hour wake window before bedtime goes—and whether it leads to a longer first sleep stretch.

You mentioned you’re using the settling pyramid after his 30–45 minute “bedtime nap” and then holding him chest‑to‑chest to walk, shush, and rock. That’s completely understandable—after a short sleep, his sleep pressure is lower, so he needs more support to drift back off. So if he prefers to be held against your chest instead of being in the cradle hold that is completely fine – at this point do what works to get him back to sleep.

Ultimately, though, the goal is for him to learn to fall asleep in the co‑sleeper at the start of the night. Just to confirm: at the start of your bedtime routine, are you laying him down awake in the co‑sleeper and then using the settling pyramid?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kate,

I’m so glad to hear she’s healthy, growing well, and sleeping solidly through the night—those are all wonderful signs that she’s thriving, even if a little muscle tightness makes being held uncomfortable sometimes.

You’re spot on that when she’s alert after a feed, offering her some free floor time is a great idea. Placing her under a play gym gives her the room to stretch, kick, reach, and wiggle—all of which supports muscle development and helps release any stiffness. Her fussiness in your arms may simply be her way of asking for more space to move and explore.

Regarding the muscle tension your midwife noticed, someone you might consider taking your little one to is a paediatric physiotherapist (AKA paediatric physical therapist). They are the ideal specialist to assess and treat any tightness. They can show you gentle stretches and activities tailored to your baby’s needs.

Hopefully, your baby gets some relief soon.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Giedre,

Thanks so much for all the extra detail—this really helps me understand where you’re at!

It’s great that you’ve been able to continue with the settling pyramid and that she responds well to the shushing in view. From what you recorded, it seems like she’s falling asleep within 4–10 minutes of being laid in the crib, which is pretty good. Typically, it’s not unusual for babies to take up to 20 minutes to drift off.

I just wanted to check: when she fell asleep in those 4–10‑minute stretches, did she stay asleep for that first stretch, or did she wake 20–40 minutes later and need you to hold her again? If she stayed asleep, it does sound like the up‑and‑down at bedtime has settled a bit – is that right?

You mentioned you’re finding it hard to read her tired cues and feel you might be missing them. At this age, it really can be simpler to follow a clock‑based schedule.

I think tightening up her nap and bedtime windows could make bedtime more predictable and easier for her to settle.

It looks like she tends to have a 2–2½‑hour nap, so I was wondering if you’d be happy to try the following routine for the next week and then let me know how it goes:

• 6:30–7:00 am: Wake
• 11:00 am: Nap
• By 2:00 pm: Wake (if she hasn’t woken on her own)
• 8:00 pm: Start bedtime routine
• 8:30 pm: Lay her down in the crib

If she seems sleepy before 8:00 pm, feel free to begin the wind‑down at 7:30 pm and aim to have her in the crib by 8:00 pm instead.

Also, because it stays light until around 9:00 pm, would you be happy to close the blinds and dim the overhead lights or switch to lamps (and pause any screens) from about 6:30 pm? That darker environment will cue her brain to start releasing melatonin—a natural sleep hormone— and this will make it easier for her to so fall asleep at bedtime. We’ll only use this until we discover her ideal bedtime, then adjust accordingly.

If she settles more quickly and stays asleep with this consistent nap‑and‑bedtime schedule, we can gradually move her bedtime earlier.

Does that sound okay?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Robin,

It’s definitely possible that the frequent wake-up around 30–45 minutes after bedtime is related to Maxi’s wake window before bed not being quite long enough just yet. Often, that first stretch of nighttime sleep can resemble a daytime nap if there isn’t quite enough sleep pressure built up.

I was wondering if you think Maxi could tolerate a 2-hour wake window before bedtime? It might be worth trying to see if it helps him stay asleep for longer during that first stretch of the night.

And just to clarify — you mentioned earlier that there’s been some progress with his daytime naps (which is fantastic!). Is Maxi now napping in the co-sleeper and settling with the help of the settling pyramid if needed? Or are some (or all) of his naps still happening on your chest?

And finally, have you been able to get any success settling him in the crib at bedtime using the pyramid method?

Looking forward to hearing more!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

That’s wonderful to hear that she dropped the pacifier so easily — that’s a big step!

To answer your question: the key to improving both her overnight sleep and daytime naps is helping her learn how to fall asleep independently in the crib. Once she has this skill, she’ll be much more likely to resettle herself when she briefly wakes between sleep cycles — especially overnight, if she isn’t hungry.

Right now, she still relies on movement to fall asleep, which is why she wakes fully when that movement stops.

The fastest way for her to build this skill is simply through regular practice. If you’re able to give her the chance to fall asleep in the crib for both naps and bedtime, that means she gets around five opportunities each day to practice — compared to just one if you’re only focusing on bedtime.

You also mentioned that reducing the movement in the pram has led to shorter naps. That makes complete sense — she’s still in the process of learning how to settle and stay asleep without movement. So when the pram stops and she wakes after one sleep cycle, she likely doesn’t have the tools just yet to link those cycles.

If you’re okay with her having shorter naps for now, I’d recommend leaning into it — get her up when she wakes and simply start the next wake window. You may find she takes more frequent, shorter naps (maybe up to five) until she learns to fall asleep and stay asleep on her own.

But if you’d prefer to maintain two longer naps, one approach is to give her a few minutes when she stirs — just to see if she’ll settle herself — and if not, try using the pram version of the settling pyramid to help her link cycles.

You also mentioned that bedtime has become a bit tricky with the settling pyramid. We might need to look at the timing of her last nap to ensure she’s building up enough sleep pressure to fall asleep more easily. If she’s not tired enough at bedtime, even the most consistent routine won’t work.

Let me know the timing of that last nap, and we can tweak from there if needed.

Emma

• This reply was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Holly,

I am sorry it has been difficult for you the past few days. Hopefully, the information below will make life a little bit smoother and easier (and your wrists can get a break!).

First, in terms of the overnight wake-ups — since this isn’t something that’s happening every night, and given how hard it was for her to settle recently, you could absolutely offer her a feed if you’re comfortable with it. A quick feed in that moment might be the easiest way to help her settle back down. At this stage, it’s very unlikely to create a new habit if it’s just used occasionally when she’s really struggling. Sometimes, just giving her what she needs in that moment helps reset the spiral and gives you both some peace.

Now in terms of her getting upset during nap and bedtime — it’s completely understandable that this would feel heartbreaking, especially after all the effort and progress you’ve both made. What you’re seeing is very common at this age. As babies get older, they start to recognize the cues that sleep time is coming, and sometimes that brings resistance. It’s not personal — and it’s not a sign that she’s upset with you specifically — it’s just that she’s learned the pattern and is protesting the transition, not the person.

That said, a small tweak to the routine can often help. One idea is to do the diaper change and put the sleep sack on outside the bedroom, and then spend a few minutes helping her calm down before you walk into the room. For example, you could walk around the living room with her or do some soft bouncing, then transition into the bedroom just for the final part of the routine. This can help reduce the strong association between you walking into the room and it being time for sleep — which might be where the resistance is building.

If you try that for a few days and it doesn’t help, we may want to start tracking her actual wake window — the time from when she truly wakes from a nap to when she actually falls asleep. If her wake windows are lengthening again (which is really common around this stage), she might be protesting because she’s not quite tired enough yet when you’re starting the wind-down.

You’re absolutely not doing anything wrong, and she isn’t rejecting you. This is just a tough developmental moment, and we’ll figure it out together.

Emma