[Seyyada Burney]

Hi Emma,

Thanks so much. This definitely feelsdoable. In answer to your questions:

Yes. I do think the swaddle transition was causing some of the disruptions (congestion might have caused the rest). We re-swaddled babe for two nights when she was really unwell after her vaccinations and she started sleeping longer stretches again. We’re back to swaddle transitioning tonight so let’s see how it goes.

After a couple of weeks, it seems like an 8pm bedtime routine start is most sustainable for us. I read your other posts suggesting moving feeds to before bedtime routine, but we had a lot of trouble with this when we tried it- babe was super cranky, spat up a lot, couldn’t be bathed, and then wanted to nurse to sleep again anyway.

Looking forward to hearing your bedtime suggestions!

[Seyyada Burney]

Hi Emma,

Thanks for your reply and questions. Here are some answers.

1. Wake-Play-feed-play-sleep routine: Yes! This is the general pattern babe is following. Her wake windows are 1.5-2hrs long. I’m trying to get 3hr gaps between each of her feeds, so this will often determine when within the wake window that we feed her.

2. Bedtime shift: we are trying to start bedtime at 7pm, but its taking a long time to actually get babe asleep and is not really shifting her wake time. Though she falls asleep quickly, she is *very* easily woken up when I try to transfer her to my husband or mom or when I try to put her into the crib. More on that below.

3. Wake time: wake ups are still between 8 and 9 am. I’m happy to try narrowing that to a 30 minute window. Should we wait until night sleep is less disrupted though? she’s waking up so often i don’t know how shes getting the sleep she needs.

4. Typical day stats from earlier this week:

Wake up 8:30am.

feed #1: 9am

Nap #1: 10:10-11:30am

Feed #2: 12:00

Nap #2: 1:30-3:15pm

Feed #3: 3:35pm

Nap #3: 5:15-6pm

Feed: #4: 6:30pm

Bedtime start: 8pm (we experimented with a later one)

bedtime feed: 8:30-8:50pm

Fell asleep (first time) by 9:00pm

5. Naptime: Yes! Your summary is correct. Her favorite sleep position is on her side, tummy-to-tummy, and with her head burrowed into an armpit or shoulder. She’s mostly horizontal. There’s maybe a 5 degree incline just based on the angle of our arms. We continue to hold her in the dark room while she sleeps. She used to sleep continuously, but is now waking at least once (around 30-40 minutes in) and requires more rocking and patting to fall back asleep.

We haven’t tried using the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep in the crib yet. When we do, how long should we pick up, settle, and put down before we call it quits and recover the nap? Are there cues to watch for in terms of letting her stay in the crib, versus moving up the pyramid/picking up?

6. Nights. Oh boy. On good nights, we have two wake ups. One around 1-2am and a second between 4:30am and 6am. On these nights we can lay her down after the 30 minute upright period and she’ll usually stay asleep. Recently, however, it has started taking multiple attempts to get her in the crib both at the beginning of the night and after feeds. She has also been waking up more between feeds. I fear the 4 month pro(re)gression is upon us!

For the past week, we’ve been having 2-4 wake ups within the 1-2 hours after she falls asleep. I’ve tried transferring her to my husband or grandma within 5-10 minutes of her falling asleep in my arms/at the breast (so that I can grab dinner and get ready for bed before she’s transferred to the crib). I’ve also tried holding her for 30-40 minutes and then transferring to bassinet myself = same issue. She either wakes up immediately upon transfer to someone else/crib or within 10-30 minutes.. If she falls asleep while being held vertically, we take 5-10 minutes to gently transition her to horizontal before the transfer. More often, she falls asleep on her side, tummy to tummy, with her head burrowed in an armpit or shoulder, and with her body held at a 5-15 degree angle (whatever our arms can tolerate that evening). These transferring challenges are really reducing her and our long stretch of sleep! Often, it will take until 10:30-11pm to finally get her in the bassinet. This makes me wonder if its worth sticking with the 7pm bedtime start. When we push it later, though, shes often so fussy and inconsolable that we barely make it through the bedtime routine before a full meltdown.

Late-night, post-feed transfers to crib have also become an issue now. Last night I tried to put her down after she’d been asleep for 30 minutes, and she woke up immediately. I rocked and shushed her to sleep, held her for 5-10 minutes and tried again – I had to do this three times. She finally slept for 45 minutes when i let her sleep on her side. Once she woke again at 4am, I gave up, fed her, and brought her into bed with me. Safe co-sleeping bought me 2 hours of sleep.

We are open to *any* suggestions you have!

7. Swaddle: We always start with hands by her sides, but she will sneak them up in front of her chest within seconds (since birth!). We’ve started to transition her to arms out this week (currently on day three of one arm out).

How long do you recommend keeping one arm out before leaving both out?

How do you recommend dressing her for sleep once both of her arms are out? Still in a sleep sack?

Additional questions for you:

How many days should we try any adjustment to her routine or sleep environment before we try or add something else? I know consistency is key, but after 6-7 wake-ups, I feel pretty desperate for anything to work.

Is a sleep regression a good time to try fully sleep training using your settling pyramid method, or is it better to wait for it to pass?

Do you recommend changing one thing at a time about her sleep environment (e.g. no swaddle, crib over bassinet, putting down drowsy but awake…), or just making all changes at once and just trying to survive the sleep disruptions?

Thanks, Emma!