[Emma H]

Hi Monique,

From your answers, it sounds like your little one might be waking every 5 – 10 minutes (until she falls into a deep sleep) because the pacifier has fallen out, and she needs it to fall asleep. The pacifier is falling out, and because she isn’t yet fully asleep, she is waking up fully, calling you to come and put it back in and then resettle her to sleep.

The key to helping her fall asleep at bedtime and for longer stretches overnight is to help her learn how to fall asleep on her own. At the moment, because she cannot put the pacifier back in her mouth independently, this is stopping her from doing this.

So for this reason, there are two options:

1. Teach her how to put the pacifier back in his mouth independently.

Your little one should have the fine motor skills to do this at 7 1/2 months, but it might take some practice for her to learn this skill. It’s better to teach her this skill when she is happy and alert. So, during her next playtime, lay her in her crib and place lots of pacifiers around her. Then, let her practice finding the pacifiers and putting them in her mouth while lying down. The hope is that once she learns this skill, she can find the pacifier during the night and put it back in herself, eliminating the need to call out to you every 5 – 10 minutes at the start of bedtime and throughout the night.

2. Remove the pacifier.

Until she learns to put the pacifier into her mouth independently, you will need to continue to go into her room and put the pacifier back in her mouth. If you would like to stop doing this, I recommend you remove the pacifier.

It’s important to note that removing the pacifier will be challenging at any age, as she will need to learn how to soothe herself to sleep without using it. However, removing the pacifier at this age can be easier than when she is a toddler. Either way, if you decide to do it now or in future years, you will notice a change in her sleep habits as she learns a new way to fall asleep.

If you choose to remove the pacifier at this point, I recommend you stop using it for all sleep (naps and overnight) and use the settling pyramid to help your little one fall asleep. Removing it from all sleep is less confusing and gives her lots of opportunities to learn a new way of falling asleep, which will help her learn this new way of falling asleep quicker.

It will be a little challenging at first, but with time, she will be able to soothe herself to sleep without the pacifier.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Jaime,

It’s so good to hear that the settling pyramid has given you a way to teach your little one how to fall asleep independently, most of the time.

Regarding the early wake-ups at night, it’s great that they don’t happen often. Given that he is waking occasionally at 10 pm and this is 2 hours after his bedtime, what might be happening is that your little one is transitioning between sleep cycles at this time. You may recall that when your little one transitions between sleep cycles, he may partially wake up. If something disturbs him while he transitioning between sleep cycles, it can cause that partial wake to become a full wake.

Did something happen just beforehand on the nights that he woke at 10 pm? For example;

– If you’re sleeping in the same room as your little one, did you or your partner enter the bedroom to go to bed?

– Was there a sudden noise (like someone using the bathroom or showering)?

If you identify it is potentially due to these reasons, then it would be a good idea to start doing whatever is it that disturbed him well before or after 10pm. That way, when your little one transitions between sleep cycles you won’t accidentally turn that partial waking into a full waking.

My other suggestion is to see if you can wait a few minutes before going in to him when he wakes at this time. At the start of the night, their sleep is dominated by deep sleep, so it’s likely that if he does stir and call out, he will fall back to sleep if he is given the time to do so.

I hope that helps,

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Natalee,

It sounds like you both find feeding to sleep enjoyable and it’s ok to keep doing this if you want to.

What happens around this age is that your little one’s sleep matures; as a result, he will cycle through 4 sleep stages and partially wake between sleep cycles. This partial wake happens every 30 – 45 minutes during the day and may result in catnaps. Overnight, you tend to see that your little one may fall asleep easily at the beginning of the night and sleep for 4+ hours before waking for his first feed. This first stretch of sleep is dominated by deep sleep, so he may sleep well. As the night progresses, Stage 2 NREM sleep and REM sleep, which are lighter stages of sleep, start to dominate your baby’s sleep. You may notice that your little one might wake up more often. To get him to fall asleep, you might feed him off. These wakes could be as often as every 90 minutes to 2 hours. If this is happening with your little one, it would suggest he is waking between sleep cycles (not because he is genuinely hungry) and needing a feed to fall back to sleep because that is how he knows how to fall asleep. If you are happy to wake up and feed your little one to get him back to sleep, that is completely fine. You don’t need to do anything.

But if you don’t want to wake every 90 minutes to 2 hours overnight or you’re too tired, you will need to help your little one learn how to fall asleep without feeding him to sleep.

You could start the pre-sleep routine with a feed and then stop the feed when he is drowsy and use the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep in the crib if you wish. Alternatively, instead of rocking him in your arms, do you have a rocking chair or an exercise ball you could use? This way, you can still bring in some calming movement as part of the sleep routine but not need to stand up and rock him. I’m unsure if that would be any easier for you, but I thought I would suggest it.

I hope that helps

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

The short answer is yes!

If your 15-month-old needs your help to fall asleep (for example, you need to lie beside your little one until they fall asleep, or if you feed/rock/bounce them until they fall asleep), then when your little one wakes between sleep cycles in their sleep space, and you’re not there, they are more likely to wake up fully and call out to you. During the day, it takes 30 – 45 minutes to complete a sleep cycle. So, they may only nap for 30 – 45 minutes.

Does that make sense?

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Vivian,

How have the last few days gone? Has he continued to wake after one sleep cycle at night?

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

I hope the last few days have been getting easier for you both.

It’s great that you were able to work out a sleep training method that works for your little one for day naps. I do find as they get older, sometimes being in the room with them is just confusing and can cause them to protest more, as they see you’re in the room and expect you to do what you have previously done. By exiting the room there is a clear ending to the nap routine.

In regards to the timing of her bedtime, it depends. If you find that she is really upset because she is tired at the end of the day you can shift it to 6 pm. But if she is tolerating 6:15 pm then stick with that.

In regards to your little one crying when she is going to sleep. It might be because the nap time is a little too early. For the next few days, I recommend you continue to put her to bed at 11 am and write down what time she falls asleep. If you notice she is falling asleep at 11.30 am then you could try shifting her nap time to 11:30 or 11:20 am and see if she protests less with a later nap time.

It’s also great that she has lengthened her naps to 1 hour instead of 30 minutes. I would expect that her naps will continue to lengthen. The length of time she will nap for depends on her total sleep needs over 24 hours. At this age, 11 – 14 hours of sleep over 24 hours is considered normal. But 2 hours more or 2 hours less is also considered okay. So given that your little one goes to bed at 6:15 pm and sleeps until 6:30am, she is having a little over 12 hours sleep overnight. This means if she needs 14 hours of sleep in 24 hours she might nap for a touch under 2 hours.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Monique,

I do think once she learns how to fall asleep without the pacifier, she will wake less frequently overnight. She is currently waking every sleep cycle and calling out to you to put the pacifier back in, which results in waking every 2 – 21/2 hours. Once she learns how to go to sleep on her own she will not wake as often and she should start sleeping for longer stretches overnight. Her daytime naps should also improve.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kostas,

It’s great that you have had time to review the course material. Hopefully, it is making sense.

I would say that if Helen goes to bed at 8 pm, wakes at 2:30 am, and then at 4:30/5 am, she’s hungry. What should happen (as she already knows how to fall asleep on her own) is that the first stretch of sleep will gradually lengthen. For example, she might go to bed at 8 pm, and instead of waking at 2.30 am for her first feed, she might wake at 3.30 am. This might increase to 4.30 am. Then, it might move to 5 am. Then, she might not wake up until 6 am.

I don’t recommend dream feeds (where you wake them up at 10 or 11 pm). That first part of the night is when your baby is in deep sleep so they don’t tend to feed well. But more importantly, waking them up to feed them at this point disrupts the natural process of them gradually extending that first stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night.

If she wakes at 5 am, you can feed her or leave her if she isn’t upset. As you said, sometimes she just falls back to sleep, which is great. You will know if she needs you because she will start to call out pretty consistently. Just remember that for babies, waking up between 6 – 7 am to start the day is very normal.

Regarding daylight savings, what you do really depends on your family routine and what works for you. If you would prefer Helen wakes at 7 am and goes to bed at 8 pm, then in the week leading up to the clocks changing, you need to gradually shift her circadian rhythm an hour earlier.

To do that, you need to do three things.

1. In the week before the time change, shift Helen’s entire schedule 15 minutes earlier every second day.

This will ensure that she will follow her typical schedule when the time change occurs.

This is how you do it:

• On Monday and Tuesday move Helen’s wake-up time, feeds, and sleep periods (naps and bedtime) 15 minutes earlier than usual. For example, if Helen usually wakes-up at 7 am, naps at 9:00 am, 1:00 pm and 5 pm, and then goes to bed at 8:00 pm. On Monday and Tuesday of that week, you will wake Helen up at 6:45 am, offer her first nap 8:45 am, her second nap at 12:45 pm, her third nap at 4:45 pm and bedtime at 7:45 pm.
• On Wednesday and Thursday mornings, you will wake Helen up 15 minutes earlier than you did on Tuesday and offer all feeds and sleep periods 15 earlier. For example, you will now wake Helen up at 6.30 am, and then offer her first nap 8:30 am, her second nap at 12:30 pm, her third nap at 4:30 pm and bedtime at 7:30 pm.
• On Friday and Saturday mornings, wake Helen up 15 minutes earlier than you did on Thursday morning and offer all feeds and sleep periods 15 minutes earlier. For example, you will now wake Helen at 6.15 am and then offer her first nap at 8:15 am, her second nap at 12:15 pm, her third nap at 4:15 pm, and bedtime at 7:15 pm.
• On Sunday morning, you will once again shift her wake-up time, feeds, and sleep periods 15 minutes earlier than the day before. However, because on Sunday morning the clock has moved forward an hour, what was previously 6 am is now 7 am. So you will wake Helen up at 7 am, she will have her first nap at 9 am, her second nap at 1 pm, her third nap at 5 pm, and her bedtime will be at 8 pm.

2. Dim the Lights an Hour Before Bedtime: Bright lights can keep Helen awake longer, which isn’t what you’re aiming for. You’re trying to get her to go to bed earlier, not later. So, make sure to close the curtains and use softer lighting options, like dim lights, small lamps, or nightlights, as you prepare her for bedtime.

3. Bright Lights in the Morning: When it’s time to wake up, make the room bright. Open the blinds and turn on the lights. This exposure to light in the morning will help reset Helen’s internal clock to wake up earlier, which also helps her get to bed earlier.

If you do these three things in the week before the clocks move forward an hour, you will be able to successfully shift Helen’s internal body clock. However, it is important to note that a child’s circadian rhythm needs some time to adjust, so it might take Helen a week to adjust to the new schedule.

Regarding your question about wake windows, the length of time Helen can stay awake after a nap depends on the quality and length of her previous nap. If she had a long nap, you may notice she has a longer wake window – so she might stay awake for 2 1/2 hours. But if she has a short nap, she might only be able to stay awake for 2 hours or slightly less. It’s due to this variability in wake windows, I recommend you look at wake windows as one piece of a three-piece puzzle when determining when Helen is tired. The other pieces are her general pattern (wake, feed, play, sleep) and, lastly, her unique tired signs.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

That’s great! Glad it worked!

[Emma H]

Hi Nikki,

This is huge!

You would have been so excited and it would have been so nice to see your little one fall asleep happily.

I am so excited for you and your little one.

Keep it up and it will only get better from here!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Kostas,

Thanks for taking the time to give me more details.

It does sound like her sleep might have changed slightly yesterday. As it’s only a recent change, I can’t say if it’s permanent. You really want to see changes for a week or two before thinking it is an ongoing change. As it is new, I wouldn’t expect that it will be ongoing at this point.

Also, I suspect that she was falling asleep when you were reading the book because she was tired (maybe due to the short naps).

It sounds like you have worked out a sleep training method you’re happy with and it’s working for you both, which is great!

Based on her bedtime and overnight sleep pattern before the changes yesterday, you don’t need to be concerned that she is waking up at 4:30/5/6am because she needs a breastfeed to fall asleep. If she depended on having a feed to fall asleep, you would typically see a baby who would only fall asleep for naps and bedtime during a feed and then wake every 90 minutes to 2 hours in the second half of the night. The fact that your little one falls asleep independently for naps and bedtime and isn’t waking every 90 minutes to 2 hours in the second half of the night indicates she doesn’t rely on a feed to fall asleep.

I also don’t think she wakes between 4 and 6 am because she is no longer tired or her circadian rhythm is fixed and telling her to wake up! This is because she falls back to sleep after the feed. If she had met her nighttime sleep needs or her circadian rhythm was fixed, she wouldn’t be able to fall back to sleep.

It also doesn’t appear to be due to environmental noises (as the house is quiet at these wake times).

I think she is waking at 4:30/5 am because she is genuinely hungry. Waking 1 – 2 times overnight for a feed, especially for breastfed babies, is typical at this age. It’s also really common for babies to start their day between 6 – 7 am. This is just a typical circadian rhythm for infants.

I know you want to stop feeding her next month. Before you do this, I recommend you check in with her doctor to ensure she is gaining weight, and dropping the early morning feed will be ok.

I hope that helps!

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Vivian,

As your little one gets older, you will notice that his awake windows increase, and as a result, the number of naps he has will reduce. Given that it was just a change for one day, it’s hard to say if this is an ongoing change. Just follow his tired signs (which it sounds like you are) and use the wake windows as a guide. It might be comforting to know that at 4 months of age, it’s not unusual for them to drop their naps from 6 to 4 and stay awake for longer.

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Elen,

I think a combination of things might be making nap sleep training a little challenging at this time.

Firstly, your little one has learned that for daytime sleep, she is either breastfed or rocked to sleep; at night, it’s a different routine. So, unfortunately, sleep training during the day is required to teach her the new routine for daytime naps. This in itself is an adjustment that your little one would need to learn.

Secondly, you’re transitioning to one nap a day, which can be challenging. Typically, there is an adjustment time as the child gets used to staying up longer. You’re stretching their wake window, meaning they will initially be pretty tired when it’s time to nap. As a result, they may need more support to settle to sleep. I don’t know which strategy you use to sleep train your little one during the day, but I expect they will need more help initially. Once your little one gets used to staying awake for longer in the morning, the difficulty falling asleep for that daytime nap should also lessen.

It’s important to remember that it can take babies up to 20 minutes to fall asleep. Plus, for daytime naps, only sleep pressure drives your little one to sleep. At night, your baby’s circadian rhythm and sleep pressure work together to fall asleep, so it’s often a lot easier to teach your little one to fall asleep at night independently than to teach them to fall asleep independently for naps.

Be consistent with using the sleep training method you have chosen for naps; your little one will soon learn to fall asleep independently.

Also, during this adjustment period of dropping to one nap, you might need to move her bedtime to an earlier time temporarily. Once she starts to fall asleep independently, the length of the daytime nap should increase, and you will be able to move her bedtime back.

I hope that helps!

Emma

• This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  Emma H.

[Emma H]

Hi Kostas,

It would be lovely to meet little Helen!

Thanks for answering those questions. Before I provide advice, I want to make sure I understand what your night with Helen generally looks like.

From what you said, I understand her bedtime is 8pm, and you do a bedtime routine. She generally falls asleep on her own in the crib. When she doesn’t fall asleep and needs your help, what are you doing to help her fall asleep? Are you using the settling pyramid or doing something else?

After she falls asleep at bedtime, I got the impression she generally sleeps until 4:30/5/6 am. But sometimes she wakes at 1:30 or 3 am, and she either falls back to sleep independently or you comfort her by talking to her until she falls back asleep. When she wakes at 4:30/5/6 am, you are breastfeeding her, and she falls back to sleep until 7 am or slightly later.

Is this correct? Or did I get it completely wrong?

Also, letting Helen nap in the crib for the morning nap and then in the stroller outside for the next nap is okay. It’s important that you get out of the house too! You may notice that as she gets a little older, the length of time she naps in the stroller may be less than the length of time she naps in the crib and/or she may not seem as well-rested after sleeping in the stroller. This is because the quality of their sleep isn’t as good when they sleep in an environment with sudden loud noises or random jolts of movement, which generally comes with sleeping in a stroller.

Thanks

Emma

[Emma H]

Hi Vivian,

When your little one gets sick or starts teething, continue using the settling pyramid. You may need to provide extra comfort during this time. For example, you might rock them in your arms for a little longer than usual before laying them in the crib, pat them for longer, or move higher up that pyramid. What’s important is you try to avoid falling into habits where they need you to fall asleep. For example, if you start rocking/holding them until they fall asleep or feeding them until they fall asleep.

Also, I just wanted to let you know that teething pain should only last a few days (so the time it takes for the tooth to erupt), not go for weeks. If your little one’s sleep is disrupted for weeks, it’s most likely not teething.

There are some telltale signs to help you identify if it is actually time to drop a nap.

The first indicator is your baby’s age.

There are general age ranges that most babies and toddlers follow when transitioning between nap schedules:

• 0-4 months: Typically, they have 4-5 naps daily.
• 4-6 months: They transition from 4 naps to 3.
• 6-9 months: This is where they might shift from 3 to 2 naps.
• 12-18 months: Most transition from 2 naps to 1, with many making this change around the 15-month mark.
• 2.5-6 years: This is when they might move from having 1 nap to no daily naps.

If your baby’s age matches one of these nap transition stages, and you’ve also noticed some of the sleep changes below lasting more than a couple of weeks, they might be ready to drop a nap.

The additional signs to look for are:

1. They have trouble falling asleep at one of their regular nap times

If your child struggles to fall asleep during their usual nap time, especially in the afternoon, it’s a sign they might be ready to drop that nap. This is often because they aren’t tired enough and need more awake time between naps.

2. They find it difficult to fall asleep at night

If your child used to fall asleep quickly but suddenly resists bedtime, it might be due to the last nap of the day being too close to bedtime. This doesn’t allow them enough awake time to get sufficiently tired for their night sleep.

3. They wake up earlier than usual in the morning

If your child starts waking up earlier than usual, like shifting from a 6:30am wake to 5am, it might indicate the need to drop a daytime nap. As children grow, their overall sleep needs decrease, and excessive daytime napping can reduce their nighttime sleep duration.

4. They have shorter naps than usual

If your baby begins to have shorter naps, waking up much earlier than usual, it might be a sign they’re ready to drop a nap. This change often occurs because they’re not tired enough for a long nap, possibly due to shorter periods of awake time.

Regarding dropping a feed, as you adopt a wake, feed, play, and sleep routine during the day, and their wake windows increase, the time between feeds will also increase. What generally happens overnight is that as your baby approaches 2 to 3 months, they may begin to sleep for longer stretches at the start of the night, reducing the number of feedings to about 2 to 3 times per night. After 4 months of age, it’s common for babies to have a long stretch of sleep, often lasting between 5 to 8 hours, before waking for their first feed. After this feed, some babies may wake every 3 – 4 hours for a feed and continue to do this until wake-up time. If your baby is over 3 months of age and wakes every 90 minutes to 2 hours overnight for a feed, this behaviour suggests that they are not necessarily hungry, but they are using a feed to help them fall back to sleep after each sleep cycle.

I do suggest you wake your baby up from his last nap of the day if it’s getting too close to his bedtime and causing some bedtime resistance. This will just ensure that he has enough awake time to feel sleepy again when it’s time to go to bed.

You can hum and make eye contact with your little one if you like. I would refrain from talking as this might be stimulating for your little one.

I hope that helps!

Emma