Emma H
Forum Replies Created
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Hi Elen,
The short answer is yes!
If your 15-month-old needs your help to fall asleep (for example, you need to lie beside your little one until they fall asleep, or if you feed/rock/bounce them until they fall asleep), then when your little one wakes between sleep cycles in their sleep space, and you’re not there, they are more likely to wake up fully and call out to you. During the day, it takes 30 – 45 minutes to complete a sleep cycle. So, they may only nap for 30 – 45 minutes.
Does that make sense?
Emma
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Hi Jamie,
It’s so good to hear you’ve already noticed some improvements in your little one’s sleep.
Before I answer this question I just want to make sure your little one is nearly 6 months of age. And can you let me know what time these night wakes are happening, and how frequent they are? Maybe it would just be good to hear what your bedtime routine and nighttime look like. Eg what time he goes to bed, how he falls asleep at bedtime, what time he wakes overnight, if he feeds overnight what times he generally does this, etc.
Sorry to ask more questions. I just want to understand this better before I give suggestions.
Emma
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Hi Natalee,
It’s great that you are already planning how to transition your little one from the SNOO to a crib.
Your plan to start by just freeing one arm is a great idea. As your little one adjusts to having one arm free he may wake up more often. When he does try to use the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep if the rocking motion from the SNOO isn’t enough. After a few nights to 1 week, you should notice his sleep returns to how it was before you let one arm out. When this happens, wait a few nights and then let the other arm out. Then, use the settling pyramid as needed until he adjusts to having both arms free.
The option to then switch on the weaning mode is excellent. This will make it easier to transition to the crib. I would suggest that when you transition to the crib, you try to ensure the white noise you’re playing is the same/if not similar to the white noise played by the SNOO. If it isn’t going to be the same or you’re choosing not to use white noise, then you might want to stop playing the white noise in the SNOO before you transition to the crib (is that possible?)
I hope that helps!
Emma
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Hi Nikki,
It’s so lovely to hear that you’ve found the YT videos helpful.
I’m sorry that the past month has been difficult for you and your family. A few contact naps can be nice, but all day can be so exhausting! I hope you’re okay!
Hopefully, my answer below can make the days go a little smoother and help you settle your little one in the crib so you can have some hands-free time.
Your plan to attempt the naps first and then tackle nighttime sleep sounds great. It’s even more impressive that you’ve been able to start using the settling pyramid during the day already.
I do recommend you keep going with it, as I expect your little one will take a while to learn this new way of falling asleep. For the past four weeks, he has gone to sleep in your arms while you bounced or fed him to sleep, so there will be a learning period.
However, I understand that implementing the settling pyramid can be challenging. So here are some gentler steps you can do in the meantime.
1. It sounds like he is currently feeding to fall asleep. So it would be good to separate the feed from the nap, if possible, by adopting the wake, feed, play, and then sleep pattern during the day.
2. Make sure he is genuinely tired when you offer a nap. Every baby’s sleep requirement over 24 hours differs, so following wake windows alone isn’t always accurate. So remember to combine age-appropriate wake windows with your baby’s tired signs and the general pattern to help you figure out when he needs a nap. I often find that ‘tired’ signs look very similar to ‘I’m bored’ signs. So, it can be helpful to switch up the activity or the scenery when you first see the ‘tired signs’ to help you figure out if he is tired or just bored. If he continues to fuss/complain after you have made these changes, then it’s a sign he is tired. If he stops fussing, it’s more likely that he was bored.
3. When he is tired, and it’s time to help him fall asleep during the day, have a consistent nap routine that you do. Do this nap routine even if you plan to have him sleep on you, in the pram, or a baby carrier. A quick and consistent nap routine will signal that sleep is coming and it’s time to wind down. This routine will become a sleep cue that you can use when you’re ready to attempt naps in the crib. Also, ensure the last activity in this routine is calming. For example, your baby’s nap routine could be: change his diaper, put on a sleeping bag, go into the bedroom, close the blinds, turn on the white noise machine (if you want to mask environmental noises), turn off the lights and then sing him a lullaby while you rock him in your arms.
4. When it’s time to settle him to sleep, if you have the energy, use the settling pyramid (as this gives him a chance to practice falling asleep in the crib with your support). If you need to climb to the top of the pyramid and pick him up, check your energy levels. If you have the time and energy, you can settle him back down, and when he is calm, put him back in the crib and descend the pyramid following his cues. If you don’t have the energy or time, or he is too distressed, settle him to sleep in your arms. I would try to avoid feeding him off to sleep, as this is a challenging sleep association to break. Instead, rock or bounce with him in your arms. But gradually reduce the amount of hands-on strategies you’re applying while he is in your arms. For example, when he is lying in your arms, rock him, as you gently pat his bottom and ‘shush’ him. Then, as he settles down, stop rocking him (so stand still) and continue patting his bottom and shushing. If he remains calm, stop patting him and continue shushing. Then stop shushing, so that he falls asleep in your arms, while you’re standing still. Then, place him in the crib. By stopping the rocking and patting before he falls asleep, you’re helping him become comfortable with falling asleep without movement (so he is not reliant on movement to fall asleep). This will make it easier to move to using the pyramid technique when you’re both ready.
5. If you don’t have the energy or time to apply the settling pyramid for every nap, just use it for the first nap of the day. Babies tend to find it easier to fall asleep for this nap, so you’re more likely to have success.
Remember, at this point, if he stays calm in the crib for any amount of time, it’s a win. And if he gets any sleep in the crib it’s a huge win!
I hope this helps,
Emma
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Hi Sharne,
You’re right that trying to turn her head to the side while she sleeps would be frivolous, as she would just get back into the position she prefers to sleep in (which is having her hand under her face). My youngest is the same. In fact, when she wakes up, she often has finger indentations on her face! 😂
Given that your little one is in a sleeping bag with her arms free, the cot is free of toys and rugs/blankets, and she has the strength to push up through her arms to lift her chest off the ground during tummy time, I wouldn’t be concerned. Just ensure that the mattress she is sleeping on is firm (if you push into it with your hand, it quickly bounces back – so it doesn’t leave an indentation) and flat/level (not on an incline), and the mattress itself is covered by a tight fitted sheet. This will ensure that when your little one sleeps on her hand, her mouth is not sinking into the mattress. Also, I am not sure if you’re using them, but I recommend removing any crib bumpers (mesh or padded).
If you are still concerned, do check in with your doctor.
I hope that helps!
Emma
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It’s so good that you are starting to see progress. Hopefully this weeks is even better!
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That’s fantastic news! 4/7 naps in the bassinet is amazing. You should be so proud of you both!
Just keep being consistent and predictable and those 4 will increase!
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Hi Vivian!
It’s so good to hear you liked seeing the live example. I was hoping this would be helpful for parents, so I’m glad it is.
The settling pyramid is a responsive strategy that you can use to help your baby learn how to fall asleep on their own. Once your baby learns how to fall asleep independently, they won’t need to relearn this skill again. But if you accidentally fall into the habit where they need your help to fall asleep, then you will need to teach them how to fall asleep on their own again. For example, let’s say your baby gets a cold, and for the next week, every time they need to go to sleep (for naps and bedtime), you rock them in your arms until they fall asleep. If you do this, your baby will likely learn that they need to be rocked in your arms to fall asleep. In this situation, you will need to help your child relearn how to fall asleep while lying in their crib instead of being rocked in your arms.
You can use the settling pyramid at any age. In fact, just recently, I used this approach with a 13-month-old.
If you want to leave the room when you’re just watching and listening, that is okay. Some children over four months can get distracted and distressed if their parents are in the room. So, stepping out of the room may make it easier for these children to fall asleep. But if your little one signals to you that they need your help, go back into the room and move up and down the pyramid to provide them with the support they need.
Regarding your question about when the 4-month sleep regression typically ends, it doesn’t! The 4-month regression happens because your baby’s sleep has matured and this is a permanent change. They’re now cycling through 4 stages of sleep and may wake following one sleep cycle. Although the cause of the 4-month regression never ends, there are things that you can do to help your little one have longer naps during the day and sleep for longer stretches overnight. If you’re interested, these strategies are outlined in the pdf titled ‘The Complete Guide to Managing the 4 Month Regression’.
I recommend waiting until the early to mid-tired cues before putting him to bed. If you wait until the late tired cues, you may need to spend longer calming him back down before he is ready to lie down. Starting the routine when you see early to mid-tired cues will generally make it quicker and smoother.
Unfortunately, there is no specific age at which babies start to sleep for 10 – 12 hours overnight without needing a feed. It depends on the child and whether or not they’re breastfed or formula-fed. As a rough guide, bottle-fed babies can generally start having their night feeds phased out from around 6 months of age. Breastfed babies will often continue to wake for overnight feeds up until 12 months of age. But it can certainly happen earlier than this. It just depends on the baby.
Most babies over three months old need about 10 – 12 hours of sleep overnight. So, your eventual goal would be to have them sleep overnight without a feed for 10 – 12 hours. But as I just mentioned, this can take some time.
It sounds like your baby’s bedtime falls within a 30-minute window, which is fantastic, especially for his age! Even though his bedtime is not an exact time, falling within the same 30-minute window is what you aim for. To encourage him to continue to do this and help in the maturation of his circadian rhythm, I would recommend that you wake him up at the same time in the morning.
I hope that helps!
Emma
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Hi Nicole and George,
It sounds like your little one has a challenging start to life. It’s great that he is home with you, and I really hope the surgery in the not-too-distant future goes well.
I was just wondering if you have been able to work through the course and pick out things that you can do. It sounds like you have already created the ideal sleep environment for your little one, which is great! It also sounds like his overnight feeds are naturally reducing, which is also fantastic.
Unfortunately, his short naps are normal at this age, but there are some specific things that you can do to help extend these daytime naps. In the video Managing Catnaps, I discuss why these short naps occur, two approaches you can take, and more importantly, the strategies that you can use to extend those naps. Have you been able to watch this? If not, then it might be a good place to start.
One strategy you can work on is adopting the wake, feed, play, and sleep routine. Then, when your little one is tired and needs a nap, you could use the settling pyramid instead of feeding him off to sleep. This will help him learn to fall asleep without the bottle, which is key to extending the daytime naps. If you feel this is too difficult to do at this stage, you can just try to use the settling pyramid for the morning nap. You’ll be more likely to have success with this nap, as babies tend to find it easier to fall asleep for their first nap of the day.
I hope that helps!
Emma
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Hi Taylor,
It’s great that you have already worked out that your little one has a dairy/soy allergy and you have already eliminated it from your diet. Have you noticed a change in his fussiness and spitting up? Also, do you have a dietician or pediatrician helping you manage this allergy and the reflux?
Regarding your questions, when he spits up in the middle of the routine, if it’s a small spit-up, you can quickly wipe him and continue on with the routine. But if he spits up and needs a change, then change him and start the routine again by swaddling him, walking into the dark room with the sound machine on and rocking/shushing him, playing the lullaby, and then setting him down.
How long you rock him will depend on the situation. If he is upset, you may need to rock him a little longer before he calms down. You want to aim for him to be calm before you set him down.
It’s great that you have already started using the pyramid. It’s not unusual that they need a bit more help at the beginning as they get used to this new way of falling asleep. But with time, it should get better. Just follow your little one’s lead and provide him with the support he needs at this point in time. With time, he will start to notice the routine, and you will be able to settle him to sleep while he is lying down.
I hope that helps!
Emma
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Hi Kostas,
It would be lovely to meet little Helen!
Thanks for answering those questions. Before I provide advice, I want to make sure I understand what your night with Helen generally looks like.
From what you said, I understand her bedtime is 8pm, and you do a bedtime routine. She generally falls asleep on her own in the crib. When she doesn’t fall asleep and needs your help, what are you doing to help her fall asleep? Are you using the settling pyramid or doing something else?
After she falls asleep at bedtime, I got the impression she generally sleeps until 4:30/5/6 am. But sometimes she wakes at 1:30 or 3 am, and she either falls back to sleep independently or you comfort her by talking to her until she falls back asleep. When she wakes at 4:30/5/6 am, you are breastfeeding her, and she falls back to sleep until 7 am or slightly later.
Is this correct? Or did I get it completely wrong?
Also, letting Helen nap in the crib for the morning nap and then in the stroller outside for the next nap is okay. It’s important that you get out of the house too! You may notice that as she gets a little older, the length of time she naps in the stroller may be less than the length of time she naps in the crib and/or she may not seem as well-rested after sleeping in the stroller. This is because the quality of their sleep isn’t as good when they sleep in an environment with sudden loud noises or random jolts of movement, which generally comes with sleeping in a stroller.
Thanks
Emma
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Hi Vivian,
When your little one gets sick or starts teething, continue using the settling pyramid. You may need to provide extra comfort during this time. For example, you might rock them in your arms for a little longer than usual before laying them in the crib, pat them for longer, or move higher up that pyramid. What’s important is you try to avoid falling into habits where they need you to fall asleep. For example, if you start rocking/holding them until they fall asleep or feeding them until they fall asleep.
Also, I just wanted to let you know that teething pain should only last a few days (so the time it takes for the tooth to erupt), not go for weeks. If your little one’s sleep is disrupted for weeks, it’s most likely not teething.
There are some telltale signs to help you identify if it is actually time to drop a nap.
The first indicator is your baby’s age.
There are general age ranges that most babies and toddlers follow when transitioning between nap schedules:
- 0-4 months: Typically, they have 4-5 naps daily.
- 4-6 months: They transition from 4 naps to 3.
- 6-9 months: This is where they might shift from 3 to 2 naps.
- 12-18 months: Most transition from 2 naps to 1, with many making this change around the 15-month mark.
- 2.5-6 years: This is when they might move from having 1 nap to no daily naps.
If your baby’s age matches one of these nap transition stages, and you’ve also noticed some of the sleep changes below lasting more than a couple of weeks, they might be ready to drop a nap.
The additional signs to look for are:
1. They have trouble falling asleep at one of their regular nap times
If your child struggles to fall asleep during their usual nap time, especially in the afternoon, it’s a sign they might be ready to drop that nap. This is often because they aren’t tired enough and need more awake time between naps.
2. They find it difficult to fall asleep at night
If your child used to fall asleep quickly but suddenly resists bedtime, it might be due to the last nap of the day being too close to bedtime. This doesn’t allow them enough awake time to get sufficiently tired for their night sleep.
3. They wake up earlier than usual in the morning
If your child starts waking up earlier than usual, like shifting from a 6:30am wake to 5am, it might indicate the need to drop a daytime nap. As children grow, their overall sleep needs decrease, and excessive daytime napping can reduce their nighttime sleep duration.
4. They have shorter naps than usual
If your baby begins to have shorter naps, waking up much earlier than usual, it might be a sign they’re ready to drop a nap. This change often occurs because they’re not tired enough for a long nap, possibly due to shorter periods of awake time.
Regarding dropping a feed, as you adopt a wake, feed, play, and sleep routine during the day, and their wake windows increase, the time between feeds will also increase. What generally happens overnight is that as your baby approaches 2 to 3 months, they may begin to sleep for longer stretches at the start of the night, reducing the number of feedings to about 2 to 3 times per night. After 4 months of age, it’s common for babies to have a long stretch of sleep, often lasting between 5 to 8 hours, before waking for their first feed. After this feed, some babies may wake every 3 – 4 hours for a feed and continue to do this until wake-up time. If your baby is over 3 months of age and wakes every 90 minutes to 2 hours overnight for a feed, this behaviour suggests that they are not necessarily hungry, but they are using a feed to help them fall back to sleep after each sleep cycle.
I do suggest you wake your baby up from his last nap of the day if it’s getting too close to his bedtime and causing some bedtime resistance. This will just ensure that he has enough awake time to feel sleepy again when it’s time to go to bed.
You can hum and make eye contact with your little one if you like. I would refrain from talking as this might be stimulating for your little one.
I hope that helps!
Emma
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No worries at all! Glad I could help!
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No worries at all. Good luck and if you’re happy to keep me updated!
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Hi Kos,
My husband’s family is from Greece! I always claim I am 1/4 Greek when I am pregnant because I love Greece so much! The food is amazing!
It would be great if you could answer the questions here about your little one. Also just wanted to clarify, when you say your little one is 4 and 10 days, do you mean 4 weeks and 10 days or 4 months and 10 days? The answer I give will change based on your little one’s age.
Thanks!
Emma