Emma H
Forum Replies Created
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Maddie,
It’s great to hear that your little one is feeling better and gradually extending the intervals between the nighttime feedings.
It’s hard to say if it is a growth spurt. Typically, during a spurt, they might also demand more frequent or longer feedings during the day. Is this the case with your little one?
It might be worth feeding her in a quieter room during the day to ensure she is having bigger feeds. This can sometimes help to reduce the need for overnight feeds.
If you’re happy to I would wait until after you’re settled in the new house before implementing all of the strategies we’ve discussed. A house move can be stressful for everyone and adding this on top might be a little too much.
Once you are settled in the new home, I would keep practising the pyramid for naps and bedtime, plus the other strategies. The goal is for her to learn to fall asleep independently, which would enable her to soothe herself back to sleep during the night if she’s not genuinely hungry. Mastery of this skill, however, requires patience and lots of practice.
I hope this helps!
Emma
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Hi Vivian,
It’s perfectly okay to let him wake up on his own during that 30-minute window. However, if he doesn’t wake up by the end of this period, I suggest waking him yourself. For instance, if the window is from 7 to 7:30 am and he’s still asleep at 7:30 am, you should wake him, open the blinds, turn on the lights, and let him get some natural sunlight if possible.
With the upcoming time change on Sunday, if you find yourself needing to wake him every morning, aiming for a 7:30 am wake-up could help adjust his internal clock.
Sorry, I thought you were putting him to bed at 7 pm but he wasn’t falling asleep until 8 or 9 pm. If you’re following a 7 am to 7 pm schedule, the time change could potentially shift his routine to 6 am to 6 pm if you don’t adjust anything.
If you’d like to maintain the 7 am to 7 pm schedule, you could gradually shift his entire routine back by 15 minutes every other day. Although I recommend starting this adjustment a week before the time changes, it’s still feasible to begin now. It will just extend past the time change.
But in saying that, since he’s 14 weeks old and his internal clock is still developing, this time shift might not greatly affect his sleep patterns. Also if you have been waking him at 7:30 am instead of 7 am, you’re already nudging his schedule.
Considering his last nap ends at 4:30 pm, another nap before a 7 pm bedtime might be too much. If you want him to have another nap, you would need to move his bedtime to around 9 pm.
Do you think you could shift his bedtime to 7:30 pm? This later bedtime could help smooth out those evening hiccups. Plus it would give you the time to feed him when he wakes from his last nap of the day, then again at 6:30 pm (which is an hour before bedtime).
I hope this clears things up!
Emma
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Hi Nikki,
It’s great to hear your little one has fallen asleep in his crib. You’re doing a great job reading his cues and helping him learn this new skill!
Typically, infants begin to establish a more predictable napping routine around the age of 6 months. Before 6 months of age, the timing and length of naps can and do vary, so it’s very normal.
That said, having a consistent wake-up time will encourage your little one to adopt a consistent bedtime and foster the development of a napping schedule.
If you’re okay with getting up at 5:40 am, start the day with your little one by opening the curtains, turning on the lights, and maybe even going outside if it’s already light. This helps set his body clock and can help bedtimes become consistent. Keeping the same wake-up time every day also helps ensure his first nap happens at the same time. Once you’ve got that first nap happening, like clockwork, you’ll find that the next nap times will start to fall into place, too.
I hope this helps!
Emma
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Hey Vivian,
There is no harm in letting him stay awake for longer than 2 – 21/2 hours just before bedtime and see what happens. Every baby is different so he might be fine having a longer wake window before bedtime.
When your little one wakes from his last nap of the day I recommend you offer him a feed and then offer another feed before bed. This is the only time I recommend you feed them 2 times during a wake window.
Having the final feed at the start of the bedtime routine can be helpful. So for example, your baby’s bedtime routine might start with you feeding him in the living room with the lights on. After the feed, you might go and change his nappy, put his pjs on, put on his sleeping bag, turn off the lights, close the blinds and then sing him a song as you rock him in your arms, then lay him down in the crib awake to fall asleep. The key is to have the feed at the start of the bedtime routine so he doesn’t fall asleep while feeding.
Feeding him closer to bedtime may help to stop those frequent wakings at the start of the night.
I hope that helps!
Emma
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Hi Vivian,
It is so good that your little one is sleeping through the night (after those initial wakes). You would all be feeling so much better. The catnaps are always a little tricky – personally with my little ones I found them frustrating as it always felt like nap time. It does get better though.
I have been thinking about your daylight-saving question, and I am wondering if doing nothing to prepare for it might help with your baby’s bedtime. If you do nothing, then what will happen is your little one will continue to wake up when he usually does. So, given that you typically wake him at 7am when the clocks go back an hour on Sunday, you will wake him up at 6 or 6:30am. And his new bedtime will fall somewhere between 7/8pm. What do you think about that?
Generally, four months olds can stay awake for 2 – 21/2 hours, but every baby is different. Your baby might be able to stay awake for 3 hours before bedtime. I would try it out and see what happens. If he is ok and it stops those initial wakes, then staying awake for 3 hours before bedtime is fine. What I will say is if you want his bedtime to be at 7/7:30pm make sure his last nap of the day finishes at 5:30pm (it doesn’t sound like he naps that late though).
I hope that helps
Emma
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Hi Kostas,
Around the 5 to 6-month mark, babies can begin to connect their sleep cycles during daytime naps, leading to longer periods of sleep. However, this is more likely to happen if they:
– nap in an environment that is both quiet and dark
– and they can self-soothe and fall asleep independently.
If their napping environment is bright, or if there are abrupt loud sounds, or if they rely on assistance to fall asleep (such as being fed or rocked), they might find it difficult to connect sleep cycles, resulting in shorter naps.
With this in mind, I recommend Helen starts to have her naps in the crib, and you use the settling pyramid to help her learn how to fall asleep on her own for naps. Doing this ensures that Helen is napping in an environment that is conducive to sleep and she has the skills to fall asleep independently. This in turn will make it more likely that she will start to link sleep cycles when she is capable of doing so at 5 – 6 months of age.
I hope that helps!
Emma
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Hi Maddie,
I’m sorry to hear the past few weeks have been tough, especially with your little one being unwell. It’s always difficult to see them like that, and I hope things are starting to improve.
It seems like your baby’s sleep patterns are evolving, and she’s now experiencing four sleep cycles, waking up in between. The reason she may be continuing to wake up between sleep cycles is because she still feels unwell. If this is the case, you might find that she naturally starts to link sleep cycles. However, if you find these frequent wake-ups continue, here are some strategies to help her get back to sleeping better through the night.
1. Identify if she is waking overnight due to hunger or comfort.
Document each overnight feed for a few days to differentiate between hunger-driven and comfort-driven wakings. For breastfeeding, note the duration of each feed; for bottle feeding, record how much she drinks.
After collecting this information, review it to see which feeds were likely due to genuine hunger — indicated by longer breastfeeding times or higher amounts of milk consumed — and which were likely for comfort, shown by shorter feeds or less milk consumed.
2. For comfort-driven wakes, use other soothing strategies to help her fall asleep
If she wakes up during the night looking for comfort, it’s best to try not to feed her to sleep, as this can become a hard habit to break later on. Instead, you can gently rock or bounce her in your arms and gradually reduce the amount of hands-on strategies you’re applying while she is in your arms. For example, when she is lying in your arms, rock her, as you gently pat her bottom and ‘shush’ her. Then, as she settles down, stop rocking her (so stand still) and continue patting her bottom and shushing. If she remains calm, stop patting her and continue shushing. Then stop shushing so that she falls asleep in your arms while you’re standing still. Then, place her in the crib. Stopping the rocking and patting before she falls asleep helps her become comfortable with falling asleep without movement (so she is not reliant on movement to fall asleep). This will make it easier to move to using the pyramid technique when you’re both ready.
3. Separate feedings from naps
It sounds like she is currently feeding to fall asleep during daytime naps. It would be good to separate the feed from the nap, if possible, by adopting the wake, feed, play, and then sleep pattern during the day.
4. Have a consistent nap and bedtime routine
When she is tired and it’s time to help her fall asleep during the day, have a consistent nap routine that you do. Do this nap routine even if you plan to have her sleep on you, in the pram, or in a baby carrier. A quick and consistent nap routine will signal that sleep is coming and it’s time to wind down. This routine will become a sleep cue you can use when you’re ready to attempt naps in the crib. Also, ensure the last activity in this routine is calming. For example, your baby’s nap routine could be: change her diaper, put on a sleeping bag, go into the bedroom, close the blinds, turn on the white noise machine, turn off the lights and then sing her a lullaby while you rock her in your arms.
5. Try the settling pyramid if you have the time and energy.
When it’s time to settle her to sleep, if you have the energy, use the settling pyramid (as this gives her a chance to practice falling asleep in the crib with your support). If you need to climb to the top of the pyramid and pick her up, check your energy levels. If you have the time and energy, you can settle her back down, and when she is calm, put her back in the crib and descend the pyramid following her cues. If you don’t have the energy or time, or she is too distressed, settle her to sleep in your arms, using the gentler steps I outlined in point 2.
6. Just try the first nap of the day
If you don’t have the energy or time to apply the settling pyramid for every nap, just use it for the first nap of the day. Babies tend to find it easier to fall asleep for this nap, so you’re more likely to have success.
7. Have a consistent wake-up time.
Wake her up within the same 30-minute window every morning. This will help in the maturation of her circadian rhythm, which in turn will lead to more consistent bedtimes and encourage more sleep overnight.
I hope these tips help and things get easier soon.
Emma
Also good luck with the move!
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Hi Vivian,
I hope you had a great Easter too!
The reason your little one might appear hyperactive just before bedtime is due to something called the “wake maintenance zone”. This is a period in the evening when your baby naturally feels more awake and energetic. This happens a few hours before their normal bedtime and can result in them seeming unusually alert or hyper, even if they’ve been up for a long stretch and should theoretically be tired.
This natural peak in alertness is the body’s way of saying it’s not quite ready to sleep yet, despite any signs of overtiredness they may have shown earlier.
Understanding this can help you adjust your approach to bedtime. Instead of fighting this burst of energy, you can use it as a cue to start winding down with quieter, more soothing activities that signal to your baby that bedtime is coming.
For the next few nights, I recommend you write down the time your little one falls asleep at bedtime and see if there is a pattern. As your little one is getting older you may notice that the length of time he can stay awake for will need to increase before bedtime to ensure he is tired enough to fall asleep.
I hope that helps!
Emma
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Hi Christine,
As you have noticed, having a bath can help babies fall asleep, so if you can time it before his last nap of the day then that’s perfect.Emma
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Hi Christine,
I’m glad you have found the course helpful! Hopefully, it is helping make things a little clearer for you.
When you ask if there is a way to cancel out the early morning waking, I assume you mean to get him to sleep past 7am. I have answered this question below, but if that isn’t what you meant, let me know.
Unfortunately, it’s common for babies to start their day between 6 and 7 am. This is just a typical circadian rhythm for infants, so getting them to sleep past 7 am is generally challenging.
Given that 6 – 7 am is their preferred wake-up time, the way to get your son to sleep for longer overnight is to move his bedtime earlier. I don’t think moving his bedtime earlier will mean that he will wake up earlier, as this is his usual wake-up time. However, the way to ensure this doesn’t happen is to gradually shift his bedtime to an earlier time. And by gradual, I mean shifting his bedtime 15 minutes earlier every two days. This will give his circadian rhythm time to adjust. You would continue to shift his bedtime 15 minutes earlier until one of two things happens:
1. You reach your desired bedtime
2. Your baby starts to wake up earlier in the morning. If this happens, he is reaching his overnight sleep requirements before your desired wake-up time and waking up earlier as he don’t need any more sleep. To fix this, you just shift his bedtime 15 minutes later, and he should go back to waking at 6:30/7am.
In addition to shifting his bedtime earlier, you will also need to:
– Watch the time his last nap of the day ends. You want to make sure he is tired enough to fall asleep at the new bedtime. At this age, he may be able to tolerate staying awake for 2 – 21/2 hours before needing to nap again. So you need to make sure he wakes from his final nap of the day 2 – 21/2 hours before the new bedtime.
– Dim the lights 1 hour before the new bedtime. This will help encourage his body to release melatonin, making it easier for him to fall asleep.
I hope this helps
Emma
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Hi Amanda,
As your little one is consistently waking every 1 1/2 – 2 hours after 1am, it sounds like she has gone through the 4 month sleep regression. Instead of cycling through two stages of sleep she is now cycling through 4 stages of sleep and partially waking between each sleep cycle. Overnight these partial wakes occur every 1 1/2 – 2 hours.
As the start of the night is dominated by deep sleep, your daughter is less likely to wake up after each sleep cycle, which is why she is generally sleeping well until 1am. On the flip side, the middle part of the night and the early morning hours are dominated by stage 2 NREM sleep and REM sleep and these are lighter stages of sleep. As a result your daughter is more likely to wake between sleep cycles (particularly if she is sleeping in an environment that is different to where she fell asleep). And this is why she is waking every 1 1/2 – 2 hours after 1am.
The steps to reducing these overnight wakes can be found in detail in the PDF titled: Managing The 4 Month Sleep Regression which is in the course.
Have you had a chance to read that yet?
Emma
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Hi Elen,
Hopefully, pushing her nap time a bit later works.
As for bedtime, just keep an eye on how it goes. If she protests more than usual when you put her to bed at 6 pm, shift bedtime back to 6:15 pm and see if that helps.
Regarding her overall sleep needs, it’s true that some toddlers at this age get by with as little as 9 hours in 24 hours, though that’s relatively uncommon. On the other hand, some might need up to 16 hours, but that’s also uncommon. Based on what you’ve shared, your little one is likely in the typical range, as she sleeps for 11-12 hours at night plus she has a daytime nap.
I hope this makes it a bit clearer.
Emma
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Hi Monique,
I am having a great week – the kids are healthy, so I was able to get some things done, which is always good. 😂 Thanks so much for asking!
I’m sorry to hear the first night was tough for your little one.
Unfortunately, it’s normal for the first few nights and days to be a bit rocky. Right now, your baby is used to falling asleep with a pacifier, so taking it away is going to be a challenge for her. She’s going to need some extra support from you to learn how to fall asleep without the pacifier. As she gets used to this new routine, you should notice that her protests reduce.
As for how long you let her cry while you’re rocking her, it really comes down to how you’re all feeling in the moment. If you feel okay with the situation, continue to rock her gently until she calms down or falls asleep (she will calm down – it might take a little while the first night, but the amount of time she is distressed will decrease for the next nap, and the next etc). As you’re rocking her in your arms, make sure your rocking is slow and rhythmical rather than fast and jerky. Doing it fast is alerting and stimulating so it may cause her to fuss more. Also, bobbing up and down in a vertical motion may help her calm down quickly, as moving up and down on a vertical plane is calming.
Sometimes, it can be helpful to view the crying as how your daughter tells you that she is tired and needs your help. And that is precisely what you’re doing as you rock her in your arms.
If you find this approach too distressing, then there is a gentler approach you can try, where you can still use the pacifier in the bedtime and nap routines but remove it just before she drifts off to sleep. It looks like this:
1. When she is tired, let her suck on the pacifier while you complete the pre-sleep routine.
2. At the end of the pre-sleep routine, lay her in her crib with the pacifier still in her mouth.
3. Then, use the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep.
4. Just before she drifts off to sleep, gently remove the pacifier by placing your little finger between the pacifier and the corner of her mouth. This breaks the seal and allows you to pop the pacifier out of her mouth.
5. This works for some babies, and they fall asleep without the pacifier. But for other babies, it may cause them to stir more (at which point you use the settling pyramid to help them fall asleep), and for others, it causes them to wake up fully.
If, after using this method for a few days, you notice that she always wakes up fully when you pop the pacifier out, it indicates that this gentler approach isn’t working, and you may need to remove the pacifier.
Does this make sense?
Emma
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No worries! Glad they helped!
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Hi Kostas,
That sounds great. Hopefully, it’s a great summer!