[Vivian Kristina]

Thanks Emma!

Yes it’s definitely a trial and error. When he was in the thick of the catnapping phase (sometimes 3-4 x 30 min naps during the day), he’s often more unsettled/overtired and I often put him to bed early, between 5.30 – 6.30pm and surprisingly he can sleep 12.5-13.5 hours until 7am the next morning! This happened quite often, a few days in a row. Have you ever encountered this?

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

Thank you so much for the explanation 🙂 I have tried all of your suggestions and he is now linking sleep cycles for some of his naps. He even had a 2 hour nap today, which is very rare (even since he was a newborn!). I lengthen his wake windows and it has worked well for us.

Should I cap naps at 2 hours? I did that today and he wasn’t very happy when I woke him up, he seemed sleepy for the first hour after waking. Also if I’m aiming for a 7pm bedtime, what is the latest time that the last nap can end?

He doesn’t scream cry anymore but rather would fuss/cry for a while before naps now. Would you mind explaining a bit more about the watch and listen step?

Also wondering if you have any sleep resources for toddler sleep?

Thanks again 🙂

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

Thanks for your suggestions, I’ve tried them all and he can now sleep on his tummy. He still gets frustrated sometimes when he wakes from his tummy. Also, I was wondering if scream-crying before naps is normal? It’s a recent thing – he never used to scream-cry, only fuss before naps. He also scream-cries during the day too now sometimes (previously a very happy baby). I’ve tried experimenting with wake windows, following his tired cues, settling but nothing seems to work. My husband and I will end up picking him up multiple times and rocking him to sleep. Is there anything else we can do? He mostly catnaps 15-45 minutes, very rarely his naps would go for an hour or more. He has 4 naps a day, occasionally 3 naps on a good day where one of the naps is long.

Have a great weekend!

• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 3 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

Thank you for your answers 🙂 I have a couple more side questions:

I find that my baby recently does not need a pacifier to sleep anymore. Previously I use the pacifier for the start of his naps and bedtime, but now he prefers to suck his thumb. Are there drawbacks to thumb sucking, will it damage his thumb and how do I get him to stop? At what age can babies self soothe with, say a lovey / doll instead of their thumb? What are your recommendations on self soothing?

Is it ok to use the pacifier in rare occasions beyond 6 months? I use it for some car rides to help him sleep or settle, but not all the time. I don’t use it during the day when he’s awake, only for the start of some naps/bedtime if he takes to it.

Regarding the wake maintenance zone, he often yawns all the time during his wake window – does that mean he’s sleepy? He’s always willing to interact if I don’t stop and put him to sleep haha

Thanks Emma!

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

Thanks for your suggestions. I wonder if you can share your perspective on false starts, as there is so much information in the internet about it. What counts as a false start? If they just wake up crying after 1 sleep cycle and resettle soon after, does that count as a false start?

Today my mother in law helped with some of his naps, so his naps were shifted earlier and this resulted in an early bedtime of 6.30pm, but without false starts! So I’m not sure if false starts are always related to timing of naps and awake windows?

Do the naptime and bedtime routines need to be in the same order of activities? I find that the order or even the activities themselves can differ depending on who puts baby to sleep, it’s not 100% consistent.

Can a baby learn to nap if I cannot achieve a completely dark room? There is some natural light that shines through my blinds.

Thanks Emma 🙂

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

Sorry to hear that your kids have been sick! Handling one healthy baby is hard enough, let alone 3 sick ones 🙁 Hope you haven’t been unwell yourself.

His daily schedule looks roughly like this (with 30-minute variations):

• 7 am – wake, 1st feed
• 8.30 – 9.15 am – nap 1
• 9.15 am – 2nd feed
• 11 – 11.45 am – nap 2
• 11.45 am – 3rd feed
• 1.30 – 2.15 pm – nap 3
• 2.15 pm – 4th feed
• 4 – 4.45 pm – nap 4
• 4.45 pm – 5th feed
• 6.30 – start bedtime routine
• 6.45 – 7 pm – asleep
• 7. 45 pm – false start (sudden loud crying but can usually settle after 10 min of rocking, patting & shushing)

But I notice if he has more daytime sleep (not in his cot, either in a carrier/on the go) and his last nap ends later (above 5 pm), and his bedtime is also later (7.15-7.30pm), he does not have a false start. So I’m not sure if he needs more daytime sleep and less nighttime sleep to prevent the false start?

I also notice that he sometimes shows sleepy cues (rubbing eyes, yawning, sucking hands, fussing) but kind of fights it off by showing that he wants to play some more, but when I go by awake times and watch the clock it’s more suitable.

Thank you for your help 🙂

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

I hope you’re having a good week!

He now only has 5 feeds a day, with one feed upon waking from his last nap around 5pm and no more before bedtime, before I notice that when I did the 2 feeds before bed he didn’t feed much during the last bedtime feed and is more unsettled (he is quite gassy/refluxy and spits up a lot).

My question is, what counts as an awake time – is it crib to crib or when he is truly asleep? How about drowsiness – does that count as sleep? If it’s when he is truly asleep, I notice that his daytime sleep is actually much shorter than average (often totalling 2.5 hours). I often try to lengthen it by not picking him up upon waking (eyes open) but he wouldn’t go back to sleep, but it seems that he’s fine with short catnaps. His nighttime sleep can vary between 10.5-12.5 hours (often with false starts), but usually around 12 hours. He would be awake before the 12 hour mark though (babbling haha) but sometimes can resettle back to a short sleep until 7am.

I’m also wondering if I try to put him down for a last nap but he resisted for more than 20 minutes, what should I do? Do nap attempts count as a nap?

I’m also wondering if tired cues are not always reliable?

Thanks for your help Emma!

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

Thank you for the daylight savings tips and the video link! My baby is now 16 weeks old, didn’t realise it’s been 2 weeks since I started asking you and he has now progressed to a better routine now.

Is it possible to do a 1 hour shift rightaway rather than a 15 minute shift?

Yesterday he woke up at 6am but because we were out at church, his naps were very random and he went to bed at 7.30pm. This morning he woke up at 6am again due to a poo, but I decided to just start the day and feed him. If my baby wakes up an hour before the usual time because of a soiled diaper, should I just start the day? How do I get to the same 7 to 7 schedule again?

When the temperature drops at night and I need to use a thicker sleepsack on him, how do you suggest I do this (without waking him hopefully)?

Thanks and hope you had a great weekend!

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

Thanks for your reply! Does that mean I can exceed the awake time before bedtime?

Also, I find that he wakes up crying every hour after bedtime for about 2 hours, and then settles to sleep through the night until the next morning. When he wakes it doesn’t take very long to resettle him. I wonder why this might be the case?

When do you suggest I do the last feed before bedtime – is it after waking from his last nap or just before bedtime (1 hr before?)

Also what are your thoughts on false starts?

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma, hope you had a good easter break!

For the past few nights I can’t get a consistent bedtime for my now 16-week old baby, it ranges from 6.30-8pm as it depends on his awake times and naps. I notice that he will only do 4 naps, around 2x 45 min and 2x 30 min naps, he won’t do another nap when I tried. This means that his last wake time is so long, so some days I put him to bed at 6.30pm to avoid overtiredness (he’s awake for 2.5 hours at this point). But he would wake around 3 times until 8/9pm, sometimes it only takes a minute to put him back to sleep, sometimes it takes longer. Is there a maximum wake time for a 4 month old? I think 3 hours is out of the ordinary!

I wake him at the same time every morning, even when he’s in deep sleep – should I just wait for him to wake naturally within the 30 minute window? I find that he can sleep past 7am although his bedtime was before 7pm – I wonder if it’s because his naps are so short? Are short naps and night sleep beyond 12 hours common? I feel like he would have slept for 12.5-13 hours if I let him.

I live in Melbourne, do you have any tips for the upcoming daylight savings? 🙂

Thanks for your help! :’) By doing your course it has overall helped tremendously as he can now sleep through the night after the initial night wakings, and has helped my husband and I so much with our sleep! Catnaps are still challenging for us, but overall we’re so happy with the night sleep 🙂

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

The same thing happened again today 🙁 He cried terribly after 1 sleep cycle. He did not show any tired cues from 3.45pm onwards, so I decided to feed him at 6.45pm, where he then fell asleep despite my efforts to wake him up. He even slept through a diaper change. He then woke up at 8pm and cried terribly. I am not sure what to do about the last part of the day as the awake time is so long and I had to squeeze in 3 feeds to ensure that he has 7 feeds total during the awake time as he resisted a nap for 20 minutes.

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

Your replies are always so helpful, thank you!

Yesterday my now 15 week old was suddenly so awake and resisted naps, even the morning nap. During the day he was awake for 1.75 to 2.5 hours at a time, previously just 1.25 to 1.5 hours the week before! He dropped 2 naps, from 6 naps to 4 naps, 2x 45 min and 2x 30 min naps. Should I be concerned that he is sleeping so little during the day? Will he become sleep deprived? He wasn’t showing any late tired cues or even much mid tired cues, he smiles at me when I put him down for bed like he wanted to play more and would fuss when I tried to get him to nap. His bedtime suddenly shifted and he was asleep at 7.10pm. He woke up at 8pm for nearly 1 hour due to gas pain but other than that he slept through. I notice that he always needs 7 feeds a day though, during the days that I missed a feed he would not sleep well at night and would wake up crying for a feed after just 1 hour of sleep after bedtime. Is this something that I need to experiment with as now I can’t follow the sleep wake feed play cycle due to multiple feeds during his awake time.

Thanks so much!

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma!

Thank you so much, it does clarify things for me 🙂 I’ll try lengthening his wake window before bedtime and see how I go.

Does it count as a false start if he wakes after 1 sleep cycle every night but just needs a rock/cuddle and shush to fall back asleep and stays asleep until the next morning? He never wakes for a full wake window before sleeping again.

For one of his naps, usually the 2nd nap in the afternoon he is starting to link sleep cycles – he wakes up for around 15 minutes in between the sleep cycles – does that count as linking sleep cycles?

Also I’m just wondering what counts as a 4 and 5 month old in terms of baby age weeks?

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

Thank you for your help!

Should I just wait for him to wake naturally within the 30 minute window or stick to the same time each morning?

For daylight savings, if his current routine is 7am-7pm and it shifts to a 6am wake time, won’t his bedtime be 6pm?

You’re right, his last nap finishes around 4.30pm. I find that I can’t get him to do another nap even though he is sometimes showing tired cues.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 4 months ago by  Vivian Kristina.

[Vivian Kristina]

Hi Emma,

Thanks for your help! The 2 feeds are very close together (1 hour apart) and I find that my baby needs a long time to settle from a feed due to multiple burps and gassiness. Sometimes during the initial night wakings he would cry and is inconsolable until he burps. In this case would you recommend just doing 1 feed?

What are your thoughts on overtiredness vs undertiredness? When my baby is fighting a nap, does it mean that he is undertired even though he is showing tired cues? I’m not sure when to do a nap because of the wake maintenance zone, and I’m scared that he will become overtired if he’s awake for too long.

Because of this, his bedtime has moved up to just before 7pm, and I suspect that the initial night wakings are due to false starts (potentially caused by over/undertiredness?)? What are your thoughts on false starts?

He can then technically sleep from 6.45pm to 7.15/7.30am with initial night wakings. Is sleeping more than 12 hours through the night okay or should I aim for 11-12 hours with more awake time and by moving his bedtime later?

Are there daytime sleep totals that I should achieve?