[Francesca Valentini]

Dear Emma,

Thank you so much for all the insightful points. I see indeed that she is still needing wake windows that fit her corrected age more than her chronological, so I will absolutely go with that. She had a period of two weeks where she started having much longer naps, but now we went through a leap and there has been a bit of a nap regression, which however seems to be a bit improving now, having sometimes some longer naps here and there. I still do two contact naps a day (one in sling outdoor and one in the late afternoon on me so I rest as well).

I started putting her down for bedtime next to me and she falls asleep wuite easily, if she is not particularly upset or has belly ache. I tried for a few nights transferring her in the crib, which works actually well and she doesn’t seem to wake after feeds (I just slide her into the crib and then close the side zipper), but she makes so much noise that my nights became really poor. Is it normal? Also she seems to be able to move to the side of the crib and I always found her in the morning with her face squeezed on the crib net, towards my side. Is it a problem? Also emotionally it feels hard to keep her there and see her rolling towards me cause I have the impression that she needs me.

Nevertheless I would love to be able to put her down at bedtime and then get away to have some time with my husband instead of being in bed at 8/8:30 already. So if you have some suggestions here I would be very grateful!

For the day routine before naps i do:

– put her on bed and slide her in sleeping bag while I repeat same sentence “we go to sleep now”

– pacifier in

– then pick her up and sing always same lullaby while I close curtains

– switch in white noise

– still singing lullaby I put her in the hammock

– switch on hammock and place hand on her and shush for a while till she is relaxed

– take away hand

– shush a bit more if needed

– get out

She normally falls asleep between 2 and 10 min.

In the night my husband

– changes nappy

– gives her a small massage

– sleeping bag

– in bed bottle

– we lay down quietly with little red light on for downtime

– he leaves and I stay and sing her lullaby and the shush while she lies next to me

Also she sleeps on her side and me too. Sometimes she rolls on her back then.

Bedtime routine is however something newer and not fully established yet.

Thanks for your help!

All the best

Francesca

[Francesca Valentini]

Dear Emma

Thank you!

I have been working on some independent sleep lately however with the help of a motorized hammock (the little hammock that bounces up and down rhythmically by itself), as I couldn’t get a break since she was sleeping on me and only on me the whole time.

She now is 11 weeks (cortected would be 7 but I really think she is a bit ahead given her way of behaving, smiling constantly, cooing and interacting a lot – though maybe not in terms of sleep?) and she is starting to consistently fall asleep in this hammock 2x day with 5/10 min of support during descent into sleep. Nevertheless she almost always wakes up after 35min! I am trying to help her bridge the sleep cycles and I go in as soon as I hear her clearly calling out, but it doesn’t work most of the times. Is this normal at this age? You mentioned this would happen more towards the 4 months. when she sleeps on me or in the sling she can go 3+ h with no issue tho.

Now the question is: I have started helping her fall asleep in the hammock and it is starting to work a bit at least for 1cycle. This since 2 weeks. Is it too soon to start training also the crib? I would start with the night which I think would be relatively easy since she sleeps quite well (we co-sleep, and when I feed her she kind of continues sleeping after it. Now I just need to learn how to transfer her successfully to the crib next to the bed).

But should I start also with crib training during the day?

My worry is that I am not sure how far she is (is she only 7 weeks or is she already 11?) and that sleep regression will hit us without having started crib training.

Second question indeed is about linking sleep cycles so badly for a not even 3 months old.

Third question what do you think of those hammocks with motor?

Our routing now is:

7am wake and feed and play

8am / 8:15am first nap in hammock (35-40min then she wakes)

10am /10:30 ca. Walk in sling for 1.5h

12:30 third nap in hammock (also 35/40 min then she wakes)

2/2:30 fourth nap on me (I also nap or chill) for 1.5/2 h

6pm catnap 20/30 min

8:30/9pm bedtime on me then I transfer her to the side and she wakes 2/3 times to feed till 7am

Till 4th nap I try to keep a wake window of 60/70 min and she seems comfortable with it.

Thank you very much for your help!

Best

Francesca

[Francesca Valentini]

Dear Emma,

Thank you so much for the reply! This really helps as for the last two days we have experienced a lot of crying (screaming) in the evening after she had been awake for more than 2 h as we, I believe, had missed the wake window and the signals, and she would not settle if not put in the sling and walked or bounced. She would however have her eyes wide open for the whole time before starting to cry all of a sudden, which was misleading.

So I have three questions here:

1) if she falls asleep right after the feeding I should keep her this way. This would however mean that she would be asleep for like 19/20h a day and have little interaction, like only on the changing table. Is this ok?

2) is lack of sleep cumulative? For example yesterday I had an appointment and I took her with me. On the way there she slept but during the treatment and on the way back home she was away or only napped briefly but since I was traveling by train I think her sleep in the sling was disturbed (can it be?). After she was not settling for almost 2h in total we decided to bring her on a walk for like 45 min. Then she fed again and was awake for another hour and then started screaming. Can it be tht she was generally overtired from the afternoon or does sleepiness get “erased” with one nap?

3) should I already start training her to sleep independently? When she sleeps on me she can sleep for very long stretches. When I put her down she often awakes and this makes her tired afterwards.

Thank you!

All the best

Francesca