Reply To: Wakes after one sleep cycle and feeding blends with sleeping

[Emma H]

Hi Emily,

I’m so sorry again for the delay in responding. For some reason, I didn’t receive a notification for your message on the 8th—only the one you sent today.

To ensure I don’t miss any future messages, would you mind replying directly to this message and see if that fixes the problem? I’ll also make sure to check it more regularly to avoid missing any of your replies.

Sleep & Feeding Observations

I completely understand why you’d be concerned about whether he’s getting enough sleep. However, it’s very likely that he’s sleeping quite a bit while feeding. At this age, we wouldn’t typically expect babies to feed for a full 60 minutes, so it’s possible he’s dozing off during those sessions.

Another key way to gauge whether he’s getting enough sleep is by observing his mood when he’s awake. If he’s generally content—aside from occasional gas discomfort—he’s likely getting sufficient sleep, even if it’s in shorter stretches. However, if he’s frequently inconsolable during wake times, it may be a sign that he needs more rest.

Also I did just want to mention that since he’s feeding for such long periods, it makes sense that he doesn’t have much wake time for play and books. What should happen is as he gets older and more efficient at feeding, the time required to feed should reduce and he will have more time to play.

Suggestions for Encouraging Crib Naps

1. Maintain a consistent morning wake-up time.

   • His wake-up time may be shifting earlier, which is normal at this stage. Try to keep it within a 30-minute window to help regulate his bedtime, encourage longer nighttime stretches, and eventually establish a more predictable nap schedule.

2. Encourage fuller feeds to reduce drowsy feeding.

   • When he wakes from a nap, let him play for 5–10 minutes to fully wake up (as long as he’s not crying from hunger).
   • Feed him in a bright, engaging environment to keep him alert. If he starts getting sleepy (e.g., sucking without swallowing), pause the feed, change his diaper, or switch positions to wake him up before resuming.

3. Watch for true tired cues.

   • After feeding, if he’s still awake, engage in a brief play session and watch for tired signs.
   • If you see early cues, try changing the activity or moving to a new room to rule out boredom (boredom cues can look similar to tired cues). If he continues fussing, he’s likely ready for sleep.

4. Adjust the nap routine slightly.

   • Before nap time, follow this sequence:
     1. Offer the pacifier.
     2. Swaddle him.
     3. Walk around the living room a couple of times to help him settle.
     4. Bring him to the bedroom, close the curtains, and turn on white noise.
     5. Hold and rock him gently while singing a lullaby.
     6. Lay him down in the crib and use the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep.
     7. Just before he drifts off, slide your finger between his mouth and the pacifier to break the seal and remove it. Since you mentioned he wakes when the pacifier falls out, removing it just before sleep may help lengthen naps. If he stirs, leave it in for now and try again later.

5. If he needs help settling to sleep, try minimising movement as he drifts off.

   • If he gets upset and needs to be held or rocked to fall asleep, start by rocking him gently, then gradually slow the movement until he drifts off while you’re standing still. Helping him learn to fall asleep without constant motion will make it easier to transition to the settling pyramid as he is ready.

6. Start small—focus on the first nap and bedtime.

   • Implementing these changes for every nap can be exhausting. Instead, try using this approach for just the first nap of the day and at bedtime.
   • The first nap is usually the easiest for babies to settle into, and at bedtime, their circadian rhythm and sleep pressure work together to naturally support sleep.

I have also answered your questions below:
1. Should you wake him up for “playtime” if he falls asleep while feeding?

Since his feeds are quite long, it’s not surprising that he dozes off—they often last as long as a typical wake window.

To reduce the chances of him falling asleep while feeding, try offering feeds in a bright, stimulating environment with plenty of distractions. You can also break the seal and pause the feed if you notice he’s sucking without swallowing, as this usually signals he’s about to drift off.

However, if he does fall asleep while feeding, it’s perfectly fine to let him sleep. As he gets older and becomes more alert, he’ll naturally spend more time awake after feeds. Right now, falling asleep at the breast isn’t a “bad habit”—it’s completely normal and something you can gradually adjust later if needed.

2. Earlier bedtime as he approaches 3 months?

Between 3 and 4 months, bedtime naturally starts to move earlier, and by 4 months, it often settles into a predictable time within a 30-minute window. It sounds like his bedtime is already fairly consistent, which is great!

If you’d like, you can gradually shift his bedtime earlier by 15 minutes every three nights and observe how he responds. If this leads to better nighttime sleep, you can stick with the earlier time. However, if he starts waking up frequently in the early part of the night before settling into deep sleep, it may be a sign that he’s not quite ready for the adjustment yet.

3. When he wakes after 25 minutes, how long should you wait before starting the “pyramid” (or another soothing method)?

If he’s only fussing lightly—moving around or crying out with pauses in between—give him a minute or two to see if he can settle himself back to sleep. However, if his fussing escalates into a full-blown cry with no breaks, it’s best to intervene sooner rather than later.

4. If he wakes up after 25 minutes, how do you know if he’s done napping or still needs more sleep?

Unfortunately, sleep pressure—the drive that helps babies fall and stay asleep for naps—naturally dissipates during sleep. This means that even after a short nap, he may no longer feel tired enough to fall back asleep.

When he wakes after a 25-minute nap, you can try settling him back to sleep. If he doesn’t fall asleep within 15 minutes, it’s best to get him up and start the next wake window.

Keep in mind that if his nap was short, he may become tired again sooner than usual, and he’ll likely need more naps throughout the day to make up for it.

Questions About Overnight Feeds & Wakings

You mentioned that he’s now fully waking after night feeds. I just have a few questions to help me understand what’s going on:

• Is he still waking every hour throughout the night?
• Are you still settling him to sleep in the crib from 9:30 PM to 1 AM, then feeding him at 1 AM, 4 AM, and 6 AM?
• When you feed him overnight, do you keep him swaddled and then lay him straight back in the crib? Or do you unswaddle him, feed him, hold him upright for burping, then re-swaddle before laying him back down?
• When you say he stays awake after a feed, does that mean:
  • He remains awake for the entire feed and then stays awake, requiring you to rock him in your arms to get him back to sleep?
  • Or do you continue feeding him until he falls asleep, then wait until he’s in deep sleep before transferring him to the crib?
• When he wakes during the night, what are you doing to help him fall back asleep?
• Are his overnight wakes happening at very predictable times (e.g., every x minutes or hours, almost on the dot)? If so, it’s likely he’s waking between sleep cycles and needing something to help him fall back asleep.
• Or are his wake-ups more random, without a clear pattern? If so, that could suggest discomfort or pain rather than a habitual sleep cycle wake-up.

Does these suggestions sound doable?

Emma

• This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by  Emma H.