Reply To: 8 wo – Bedtime inconsistency and purple crying

[Emma H]

Hi Stephanie,

First of all, congratulations on the safe arrival of your little one!

Life with a newborn and a toddler must be incredibly busy, and I completely understand why using the settling pyramid for naps would be challenging with a toddler running around. You’re already doing a great job by establishing a bedtime routine!

Bedtimes under three months can be unpredictable and often quite late, but it sounds like your little one is already falling asleep at a great time, which is fantastic.

Helping Bedtime Become More Consistent

You’ve already implemented a consistent wake-up time, which is key in helping his circadian rhythm mature. Over time, this will help bedtime naturally settle into a predictable window (give or take 30 minutes).

One thing you could try is narrowing his morning wake-up range so it falls within the same 30-minute window each day—e.g., 7:30-8:00 AM. This small adjustment can help his first nap become more predictable, which in turn helps all subsequent naps and bedtime fall into a more regular pattern.

Another way to encourage a consistent bedtime is by continuing to cap his final nap of the day, ensuring he’s ready to sleep at the same time each evening.

That said, at just eight weeks old, he’s in the peak of the Period of Purple Crying, so some bedtime unpredictability is completely normal.

Using the Settling Pyramid

In regards to trying to use the settling pyramid there are a few options.

Option 1: Using the Settling Pyramid Downstairs

You could start by using the settling pyramid downstairs, allowing him to fall asleep in his bassinet before transferring him upstairs to his bed once he’s in deep sleep. The goal at this stage is simply to help him get used to falling asleep outside of your arms and without movement.

Since he already transitions well from your arms to his bed without waking, this method shouldn’t cause confusion.

If you choose this option, I recommend slightly extending his bedtime routine to create a smoother transition:

1. Bottle feed
2. Dim the lights in the living room (or turn them off if possible)
3. Swaddle or use a sleep sack
4. Offer a pacifier (if using one)
5. Walk around the room while singing a lullaby
6. Once calm but still awake, lay him in the bassinet and use the settling pyramid

If he fusses and needs to be picked up, you can soothe him in your arms and then attempt the settling pyramid again. However, if you’re exhausted, it’s completely fine to settle him to sleep in your arms. Just make a note of the time he falls into deep sleep without waking—this can help you identify any natural sleep patterns and adjust bedtime accordingly if needed.

Pacifier Tip

If you notice he frequently wakes when the pacifier falls out, it may not be helping him self-settle. In this case, try using it only to calm him. Then, just before he falls asleep, gently place your finger between the pacifier and the corner of his mouth to break the seal and remove it. This way, he completes the final step of falling asleep without relying on it.

Option 2: Gradually Reducing Movement While Settling in Your Arms

If transitioning to the settling pyramid feels like too big of a change right now, you can continue settling him in your arms while slowly reducing movement.

Here’s how this could look:

1. Bottle feed
2. Dim the lights in the living room (or turn them off if possible)
3. Swaddle or use a sleep sack
4. Offer a pacifier (if using one)
5. Walk around while singing a lullaby and patting his bottom
6. Stop walking, but continue patting and shushing
7. Stop patting, but continue shushing
8. Stop shushing and allow him to drift off naturally

By gradually reducing movement in stages, you’re helping him adjust to falling asleep with less external support. Over time, this will make it much easier to introduce the settling pyramid when you’re ready and bedtime becomes more predictable.

Option 3: Using the Settling Pyramid in His Bedroom

Another approach to consider is settling him to sleep directly in his bedroom.

Since deep sleep dominates the first half of the night, your toddler is unlikely to wake when you settle your baby in the crib next door. However, if your toddler is a light sleeper, this option may not be ideal right now, and that’s completely okay.

If you decide to give it a try, you can complete most of the bedtime routine downstairs and then move upstairs while singing the lullaby. Once in his bedroom, gently lay him in the crib and use the settling pyramid to help him drift off to sleep.

Naps and the Settling Pyramid

When it comes to naps, trying the settling pyramid for just 20 minutes at a time can be a good approach (since it can take that long for babies to fall asleep). If you’re going to attempt this, the first nap of the day is usually the easiest.

That said, with a toddler in the house, using a baby carrier for naps is completely fine if that’s what works best right now. The key is keeping a consistent wake-up time and following a wake, feed, play, sleep routine whenever possible. As separating the feed from sleep like this will gradually help your baby learn to fall asleep without needing to feed to sleep.

For now, focusing on using the settling pyramid at bedtime is a great first step.

As he gets older, you can gradually apply the same approach to naps.

Does this sound okay?

Emma