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Hello Emma,
Thank you so much for your reply! I’m truly grateful and very hopeful that things will improve!
I’ll do my best to answer your questions:
1. Yes, our daytime routine is exactly as you described. However, it never happens without tears. Also, during the day I notice that—in your videos—your daughter plays in several different areas, and you can see signs of tiredness as she merely whimpers. With my little one, he never lies down peacefully in various spots. After waking up, his first half hour can be very lively; sometimes he lies down calmly on his own, sometimes I stay close and interact with him, and other times he refuses to lie down at all so that I have to carry him—and even then he starts fussing.
2. I can’t give a definitive answer: sometimes his crying comes in bursts with pauses (this mostly refers to those wakeful periods when he doesn’t want to lie down on his own—in my arms, he sometimes cries and sometimes doesn’t, and changing my position can help him not to whimper). However, the crying before sleep is a continuous, relentless cry—he really gets worked up.
3. Yes, when I hold him upright, it seems he prefers that. Yet sometimes, when he cries so intensely—cries and cries—he might suddenly stop and close his eyes.
4. I started offering him a pacifier rather late, and he has used it very rarely. When he cries like that, he doesn’t take it at all. He also cries in his stroller and car seat, and even there he spits the pacifier out.
5. Yes, he usually takes about 5–6 naps that last around 15–20 minutes. For example, when I need to go somewhere, the only option is for him to fall asleep in my arms. I go while he’s sleeping; if I try to transfer him to the stroller, he might wake up immediately, and sometimes I can only manage an extra 5–7 minutes of sleep.
6. A week ago, we had a consistent wake–feed–play–sleep routine, but something happened and now it doesn’t get set right from the morning. For instance, yesterday he slept from about 8 PM until around 4 AM; I fed him and then he slept until 7 AM, and I fed him again when he woke. Then, about an hour later, he wouldn’t fall asleep—crying and clinging to my chest. I offered him some food, and he ate happily, after which I started putting him down. As a result, after that nap he didn’t want to eat, and the routine was disrupted.
Today, I fed him at 6:20 AM and held him for another 15 minutes because his sleep was very light, then laid him in his crib. He fully woke up around 7 AM and didn’t want to eat, so the routine was off from the start.
7. He usually wakes naturally around 7–7:30 AM—I don’t wake him up myself. I’ve noticed that while your daughter is gently awakened, he already has very restless sleep by about 5 AM; if he wakes up to eat around 6, it means he’ll have very little sleep afterward and will be up again around 7. If I take him in my arms after his morning feeding and sit with him on the sofa, he gets fussy and might sleep until 8 AM.
8. In the evening, he also cries. He may cry continuously for a while but then suddenly falls silent and immediately dozes off in my arms. Lately, his evening sleep routine has changed as well: sometimes he might fall asleep without feeding at night (since he cries so intensely, I offer him the breast, though he ends up crying even harder), and then after about half an hour, he wakes up crying; I breastfeed him and he goes back to sleep for the rest of the night. For example, yesterday he actively sought the breast amid his whimpering (he wasn’t crying too loudly), so I sat him down to feed and tried to keep him awake so he wouldn’t fall asleep on the breast, but he did. This used to never happen—he never fell asleep while feeding, and I always tried to avoid that.
Our evening routine remains the same: we go to the bedroom, I sit him down to feed (I try to do so before he starts crying too loudly), then I change his diaper, and afterward dress him in his Love to Dream swaddle. If he’s calm, I offer him another feeding, then turn off the light and start singing a lullaby. More often than not, however, at the moment of changing his diaper or dressing him, he starts crying, and then I have to walk with him again, softly saying “shhh” and patting his back—and if his crying becomes very intense, I even do squats to calm him down.
At night, he begins to fuss and toss around; I wait until he audibly asks for food, then I sit him on the sofa to feed him (if I’m not changing his diaper, I remain seated on the sofa for a little while after feeding, then stand for a bit without rocking or making noise) and then put him back in his crib (this process takes about 20–30 minutes). If I change his diaper, then after that I breastfeed him (or offer him food) and I have to either sit or even walk around a bit longer before putting him back in his crib (this process takes about an hour).
Additionally, please note that I exclusively breastfeed him, and this is an important part of our feeding routine.
Thank you very much for your work and your support. I look forward to hearing your advice.
Best regards,
Yana