-
Hi Rita,
I am so sorry. I was sure I posted the reply below last night but it doesn’t seem to have gone through. So I am so sorry for taking so long to respond.
Hi Rita,
Thanks for taking the time to answer all my questions!
Looking back through our chat, it does seem like bedtime has improved—she’s now falling asleep earlier (8:30/9 PM compared to 10:30/11 PM), and she’s settling easily, which is great!
However, you’re absolutely right that the stretches between her overnight feeds have shortened.
Since she’s waking and immediately falling back asleep after her first and second feeds—and not staying awake for long periods—it’s unlikely that she’s waking more frequently because she isn’t tired. Instead, her sleep pattern suggests she may be waking between sleep cycles and needing assistance to fall back asleep.
At this age (4 months), babies’ sleep cycles shift from two stages to four between 3–5 months. At the end of each cycle, they may briefly wake. If a baby knows how to fall asleep independently, they typically stir and then settle themselves back to sleep. However, if they rely on being held or rocked, these brief wake-ups can turn into full awakenings, requiring help to fall back asleep.
If this is what’s happening, we typically see one of two patterns:
- The baby wakes every two hours throughout the night.
- The baby has a longer stretch of sleep at the start of the night but then wakes every two hours afterward.
Your little one seems to follow the second pattern. Additionally, when babies wake between 4–6 AM, it can be especially difficult to get them back to sleep. At this point, their sleep pressure is lower after 8+ hours of rest, and their circadian rhythm naturally encourages wakefulness—often leading to early morning starts.
How to Lengthen Her Sleep Stretches
To help her sleep longer overnight and encourage her to sleep past 5 AM, the key will be teaching her to fall asleep independently in the crib. Once she masters this skill, she’ll be able to resettle herself between sleep cycles.
Since bedtime is now happening consistently around 8:30/9 PM, would you be open to trying the settling pyramid at bedtime? Instead of singing the lullaby until she becomes drowsy before laying her down, you could try singing the lullaby just once and then placing her in the crib while she is awake.
If that feels too challenging right now, you could take a more gradual approach—similar to what we discussed for naps. This might look like:
- Feeding her in a bright, active room to discourage dozing off.
- Once the feed is finished, putting her in her sleeping bag (which may help wake her slightly) and carrying her into her room.
- Turning off the lights and singing a lullaby (just once).
- Walking while patting her back or bottom.
- Standing still while continuing to pat.
- Introducing shushing while patting.
- Stopping patting while continuing to shush,
- Stopping shushing altogether and letting her fall asleep.
As we discussed previously, this approach helps her learn to fall asleep without movement, patting, or noise, making it easier to transition to the settling pyramid when you’re ready.
One thing to keep in mind: while this gradual method will help her get used to falling asleep without movement, we likely won’t see changes in her overnight sleep just yet, since she’s still falling asleep while being held. Her sleep stretches are more likely to increase once she starts settling to sleep in her crib.
A Small Tweak for Daytime Naps
Another small adjustment you could try is shortening the time you spend dancing in a bright room before naps. This way, when you take her to her bedroom for her nap, you can gradually reduce movement and patting, helping her fall asleep while you’re standing or sitting still.
Does this sound possible?
Emma