Reply To: Urgent sleep help

[Emma H]

Hi Damen,

Thanks for the update!

It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job supporting him, especially with his colic and possible teething—it’s great that you’re using Infacol, massage, and exercises to help.

From what you’ve shared, colic could be affecting his sleep, and if teething has started, that discomfort might be disrupting his sleep as well.

Teething pain is usually temporary, lasting just a few days as the tooth breaks through the gum line—it shouldn’t persist for weeks. If you suspect discomfort is waking him, it might be helpful to check in with his nurse or doctor about pain relief options.

Another likely reason for frequent wake-ups is that he’s learned to fall asleep while feeding.

In the newborn stage, falling asleep while feeding is completely normal and doesn’t always impact sleep. But between 3–5 months, babies’ sleep patterns mature. Instead of cycling through just two sleep stages, they transition between four distinct stages of sleep.

Their cycle begins with two lighter phases of non-REM (NREM) sleep (Stages 1 and 2), followed by a deeper sleep phase (Stages 3 and 4 of NREM). The cycle then ends with REM sleep. After REM sleep, babies naturally wake up briefly to check their surroundings—this is something we all do. If everything is the same as when they first fell asleep and they’re still tired, they’ll usually drift back into another sleep cycle.

However, if something has changed—like they’re no longer being held, rocked, or fed—and they rely on these things to fall asleep, they might wake fully and call out for help to settle back to sleep.

These brief wake-ups typically happen every 1 to 1.5 hours at night, and most babies follow one of two patterns:

1. Longer Stretch of Sleep at the Start of the Night – Many babies begin the night with a few hours of deep, uninterrupted sleep. This happens because sleep pressure is high, and their internal clock signals that it’s time to rest. However, as the night goes on, sleep pressure decreases, and they enter lighter sleep stages more frequently. This often leads to wake-ups at fairly predictable intervals—every 1 to 1.5 hours in the early morning hours.

2. Frequent Wake-Ups All Night – Some babies wake fully at the end of every sleep cycle (roughly every 1 to 1.5 hours) throughout the entire night.

From what you’ve described, his overnight sleep looks like this:

• 7:00 pm – Bedtime
• 11:00 pm (ish) – Wakes for first overnight feed
• 1:00 am (ish) – Wakes for second overnight feed
• 2:00 am onwards – Wakes every hour for a feed until wake-up time (4–5 more feeds)

This pattern closely matches the first sleep pattern, where babies start the night with a longer stretch of sleep but wake more frequently as the night progresses.

Right now, he associates feeding with falling asleep, so when he wakes between sleep cycles, he naturally looks for that same comfort to settle back to sleep. This is why he’s waking so frequently in the early morning hours.

To reduce the number of overnight wake-ups, the goal is to teach him how to fall asleep in his crib or co-sleeper without feeding to sleep.

Once he learns to settle independently, he’ll be able to connect his sleep cycles on his own—leading to longer, more restful stretches of sleep for all of you!

The way you can teach him to fall asleep in his crib or co-sleeper is by doing two things:

1. Tweaking the Nap and Bedtime Routine

Right now, his pre-sleep routine looks like this:
– Walking into your room
– Feeding in a dark room (usually falls asleep)
– Rocking or patting while holding him upright
– Laying him in the crib asleep

To help him learn to fall asleep in his crib on his own, we need to make sure he is awake when you lay him down, giving him the opportunity to settle himself.

One simple way to encourage this is by feeding him in a bright, active space (instead of the bedroom) to help keep him awake during feeds.

Something to note is that babies can appear awake and feeding when they’re actually asleep because they often continue a sucking motion even after drifting off. A good way to check if he’s actively feeding is to listen for a swallow every few sucks. If you don’t hear swallowing, he’s likely asleep.

Then after the feed, you could:

• Put him in his sleeping bag (this will make him more alert if he is super drowsy after the feed)
• Carry him into your room.
• Sing a lullaby while holding him in your arms
• Lay him down in his sleep space
• Then following the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep.

Would you feel comfortable giving this a try?

2. Try Spacing Feeds Away from Naps

At this age, babies can typically go 3–4 hours between feeds. Often, they feed just before naps not because they’re truly hungry, but because they’re tired and have learned to associate feeding with falling asleep.

Would you be open to trying a wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day?

If you give this a go, you might find that:
– He is more settled between feeds
– His colic symptoms improve, since there’s a longer gap between feeding and sleeping

In addition to doing these two things, there are a few other things that will help:

Wait, Watch, Listen When He Stirs Overnight

As he’s learning to fall asleep on his own in the crib, try to wait, watch, and listen when he first starts to stir or make noises at night. This will help you determine whether he is:

• Transitioning between sleep cycles
• In REM sleep (light sleep, where movement and noises are common)
• Truly awake and needing your attention

If you determine that he’s fully awake and hungry, go ahead and feed him while following the wake, feed, sleep routine.

Over time, as he learns to settle himself to sleep, he’ll begin linking sleep cycles more consistently overnight. This should naturally lead to fewer night wakings, with the first stretch of sleep at the beginning of the night typically lengthening first.

Daytime Naps

One important thing to keep in mind is that when you’re settling him in the crib using the settling pyramid for naps, it’s very likely he’ll wake after just one sleep cycle (which typically lasts 30–45 minutes during the day). This is exactly what you’ve been noticing, and it’s completely normal at this age.

Right now, he isn’t developmentally ready to consistently link sleep cycles during naps on his own—this usually starts happening between 5–6 months. However, for him to start extending his naps and sleeping longer stretches during the day, he will need to learn how to fall asleep independently.

Once he can do this his naps should automatically start to lengthen.

Wake Windows

If you’re using the settling pyramid to help him fall asleep for naps and he only sleeps for 30 minutes, his next wake window will likely need to be shorter to prevent overtiredness. Even with shorter wake windows, he will likely still need around 4- 5 naps a day at this stage.

Keep Morning Wake-Up Time Within a 30-Minute Window

His wake-up time currently varies between 7:30–8:30 am, depending on how often he wakes in the early morning hours. I know it’s tough—especially after a night of frequent wake-ups—but narrowing that window to a consistent 30-minute range each morning is really important.

A predictable wake-up time helps regulate his circadian rhythm, making bedtimes more predictable and encouraging longer, more restful sleep at night.

It might feel challenging at first, but this small change can make a big difference in improving overnight sleep—for all of you!

Do these things sound doable?

Emma