Reply To: Implementing piramind without picking up of a baby

[Emma H]

Hi Rita,

I’m sorry that last night was tough, but the silver lining is that she was able to fall asleep for that last wake with just shushing and patting—that’s a great step forward! I really hope you’re not feeling too exhausted today.

It’s great that you’ve been able to track what might be causing her gassiness, though I know it must be frustrating that it’s the food you were looking forward to eating again after pregnancy! But it’s amazing that you’re willing to hold off on those foods for a bit to see if it makes a difference. Let me know if you notice any changes!

I have been thinking about ways to make the settling pyramid work for your little one and have a few suggestions which I have outlined below.

Timing of Bedtime and the Last Nap

You mentioned that she often wakes 5 minutes after falling asleep at bedtime and continues to wake a few times before settling into a deep sleep. This suggests she might not be quite tired enough to stay asleep right away. Two possible reasons for this:

• Her final nap may be ending too close to bedtime, meaning she hasn’t had enough awake time to build up sleep pressure.
• Her bedtime might be slightly too early.

To figure out which one it might be, would you be happy to track this for the next 3–5 days? Specifically:

• What time does her final nap end?
• What time does she actually settle into deep sleep for the night (not just bedtime, but when she falls asleep and stays asleep)?

With this info, we should be able to pinpoint what’s causing these frequent wake-ups at bedtime and make adjustments to help prevent them.

Practicing the Settling Pyramid at Bedtime

It sounds like the settling pyramid is working better at night than for naps, which makes sense—at bedtime, both the circadian rhythm and sleep pressure work together, signalling to the body that it’s time to sleep. During the day, only sleep pressure is at play, which can make naps trickier.

Would you be happy to practice the settling pyramid each night at bedtime? Once she learns to fall asleep in the crib on her own at bedtime, it should help reduce overnight wake-ups, as she’ll be able to connect sleep cycles and settle back to sleep more easily. It should also make it easier to use the settling pyramid for naps since she’ll already be familiar with it.

I know that keeping her awake during the final feed can be challenging at 3 months old, but a few things that might help include:

• Feeding her in a bright, active room to discourage dozing off.
• Once the feed is finished, putting her in her sleeping bag (which may help wake her up slightly) and carrying her into her room.
• Turning off the lights and singing a lullaby (ideally the same one each night to create a sleep cue).
• Placing her in her crib and using the settling pyramid to help her drift off.

Would you feel comfortable giving this a try?

Naps

Since she has started sucking her hand, letting that hand be free is a great idea! She may begin using it to self-soothe, which can make falling asleep much easier and help her settle more independently.

From your description, I understand that using the settling pyramid for daytime naps might be a bit too challenging right now. A gentler first step is to help her get used to falling asleep without constant movement, which will make transitioning to the settling pyramid much easier when the time comes.

If she’s sleeping in the sling, you could try this gradual approach:

1. Put her in the sling and start walking around her room.
2. Sing a lullaby (ideally the same one used at bedtime, so it becomes a sleep cue).
3. Pat her back or bottom while walking.
4. Pause the movement—stand still while continuing to pat her back or bottom.
5. Start shushing while patting.
6. Gradually reduce input—first stop patting while continuing to shush, then stop shushing altogether, and let her fall asleep.

This gradual approach helps her learn to fall asleep without movement, patting, or noise, making it easier to transition to the settling pyramid when you’re ready.

After a few days of this approach, you could try using the settling pyramid for her first nap again. To make the transition smoother, you might:

• Put her in the sleeping bag before entering the bedroom and walk around with her in a bright, active space for a little while to help her calm down.
• Then head to the bedroom, turn off the lights, and complete the nap routine before placing her in the crib and using the settling pyramid.

If she becomes upset when you do this and you can’t put her in the crib and attempt the settling pyramid, you could try an even gentler transition:

• Put her in the sleeping bag before entering the bedroom and walk around with her in a bright, active space for a little while to help her calm down.
• Then head to the bedroom, turn off the lights, and walk around while singing the lullaby and patting her back or bottom.
• Stop walking around and just continue patting and singing the lullaby.
• Stop singing the lullaby and start shushing and patting.
• Stop patting and just continue shushing.
• Stop shushing and let her fall asleep in your arms.

Since this approach requires holding her for a while, it might be something your husband tries if that works for you both.

A quick note: If you transfer her to the crib after she falls asleep, she may wake upon transfer. If she stays asleep, she’s likely to sleep for only one sleep cycle, which is completely normal at this stage.

Does this sound doable?

Emma