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Hi Joyce,
Thanks for taking the time to provide those details.
It’s wonderful to hear that your little one is generally content throughout the day. This suggests there’s likely no underlying medical reason for her needing to be held for naps. Instead, it may be a matter of habit and preference, and we can work on helping her learn to fall asleep in the crib rather than in someone’s arms.
Here are some suggestions to help achieve this:
Wake, Feed, Play, Sleep:
Continue following the wake, feed, play, sleep routine during the day.
Continue to Keep Her Morning Wake-Up Time Consistent Each Day
A regular wake-up time helps mature her circadian rhythm, making bedtimes more predictable. This consistency also stabilises the timing of her first nap, which in turn will help regulate the timing of her subsequent naps in the future.
Helping Her Learn to Sleep in the Crib
Ideally, we want her to drift off to sleep in the crib rather than in your arms. Now, I understand this might feel overwhelming, so would you be comfortable trying the settling pyramid just once a day—perhaps for the first nap, when babies often find it easier to fall asleep and you have more energy? Another option is to try it at bedtime, when both sleep pressure and the circadian rhythm are working in your favour.Trying the settling pyramid once a day will give her the opportunity to learn this new skill and become familiar with a different way of falling asleep.
For the other naps (and bedtime if you don’t choose it for the settling pyramid trial), continue with your existing nap and bedtime routine with a small tweak. Instead of walking around and patting and rocking her until she falls asleep, it would be great to gradually stop these BEFORE she falls asleep. So it would look like this:
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Step 1: Gradually stop walking around the room. Stand still while continuing to sing the lullaby, gently patting and rocking her.
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Step 2: Stop rocking but continue patting and singing the lullaby.
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Step 3: Stop patting and just sing the lullaby until she falls asleep. This encourages her to associate the lullaby with sleep, without relying on physical movement.
By gradually removing these sleep associations, she’ll learn to fall asleep without constant movement, making it easier to transition to the settling pyramid approach later on when you’re ready.
If you’re not ready for the settling pyramid just yet, simply start by working towards helping her fall asleep without the walking, rocking and patting, and then move on to the pyramid when you feel more comfortable.
The other tweak you could make with the routine – given that she gets upset on entering the bedroom, is put the swaddle on in another room a few minutes before going into the bedroom and walking around with her in the swaddle in your arms. This could give her some additional time to settle and get ready for sleep.
Considering a Later Bedtime
You mentioned that putting her down at 8:30 p.m. often leads to her waking up within 15 minutes if she’s not held. At bedtime, both sleep pressure and her internal clock should help her stay asleep for at least a couple of hours. If she’s waking so soon, it might be that 8:30 p.m. is just too early. At this age, it’s common for babies to have a really late bedtime like 10:00 p.m. Have you noticed a time when she naturally falls into a deeper, longer sleep stretch at the start of the night, or a time when you can place her in the crib and she stays asleep? That could indicate her “true” bedtime.Period of PURPLE Crying
Something else to be aware of is that she would be in the peak of the Period of PURPLE Crying. This is when bub’s are fussy/unsettled and really difficult to soothe. This fussy period tends to happen in the later afternoon and evenings. You might find that she wants to cluster feed at this time which is very normal.How do you feel about these suggestions?
Emma
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