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Thanks Emma once again for the thorough response. We really appreciate it.
So your advice to gradually reduce our involvement makes sense in theory. I think we struggle because she is very quick to escalate her crying when we stop the patting or singing but we will try be more persistent with this.
To answer your questions:
1. Does this mean Eva is settling easily, or are her naps becoming longer? – Yes to both! She is settling easily and her naps are becoming longer, although we do still get some half hour naps later in the day.
2. Yes, the daily schedule as you described is mostly correct, although sometimes the first morning nap is about 1 hour or 1.5 hour but then if this is the case she does seem to then have another longer nap for her next one. Her wake windows are also a bit longer lately – about 2 to 2.5 hours and then the last wake window is closer to 3 hours.
3. The nightime as you have detailed is also correct except for the last 2 weeks or so we decided to try not feed her when she would wake around 11pm and only allow a feed at the next wake up. We thought this might stop her from waking at 11pm but it seems to have had no effect. The last 2 nights for the 11pm wake up we have given up after about half hour of trying to get back down and just fed her. In this case and for the next feed (the one 3 hrs later) she is quite easy to put back down as I let her nurse for about 20 mins until it seems like she’s in quite a deep sleep and then I transfer her to the crib asleep. When I do this for the last feed around 4/5 it’s much harder to transfer her.