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Hi Anastasia,
It’s great to hear that you’re having more success getting the timing right and he is just falling asleep with shushing and patting while in your arms. Before him falling asleep while you shush and pat him, have you been able to start a nap and bedtime routine or have a song that you sing just before this step? If not, it would be great if you could, as this routine or song will become a sleep cue you can use when he becomes more comfortable with being placed in the crib.
I also wanted to check if you’ve had a chance to consult with a paediatrician about his reflux. They might have additional suggestions to help minimise his discomfort.
To reduce the chances of him startling and waking when you transfer him from your arms into the crib, you can:
– Use a swaddle where his arms are positioned down by his side. If you’re using a swaddle where his arms are up by his face, he is more likely to startle when you move him away from your body and then again when you place him on the mattress. This can cause him to wake up. On the other hand if his arms are swaddled by his side, the startle reflex is dampened and less likely to wake him.
– Reposition your arms before laying him down. Often when we hold a baby in our arms, their head is resting in the elbow crease of one arm that wraps around the top of their body and the other arm runs along the underside of their body. Below is link to an image showing this position, as it’s hard to explain. It’s the photo titled: ‘How we usually hold babies in our arms’ https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uhz_LAhz7UqZnA4dNaPnQGPMDXCit9fu/view?usp=sharing
If you go straight from this position to the crib, the arm running under his head is challenging to remove, without causing lots of head movement.
So before you place him in the crib, reposition your arms so that the supporting arm, which usually runs along the underside of his body, runs along the side of his body (so the side that isn’t against your body) and holds his head in your hand and the arm which was supporting his head (in the elbow crease) moves down to support his body. Below is a link to an image showing this position, as it’s hard to explain. It’s the photo titled: Repositioning arms to reduce the chances of a startle reflex
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uRP3FL_idkRchoyFULwJycg6CjSDFu8J/view?usp=sharing
Then, when he is lying on the mattress, slowly slide the hand supporting his body out by moving it to the side, and then slowly side the hand, holding his head out by moving it to the side.
– Lay him in the crib, legs first. When you lower him into the crib, do it so that his legs touch the mattress first, then his bottom, trunk, and head. Lowering him onto the mattress this way reduces the likelihood of triggering the startle reflex.
– Hold his arms and legs. Once he is lying on the mattress, if he moves, place one hand on his arms and the other hand on his legs to reduce the movements and dampen the startle reflex. This step is particularly important if you’re using a swaddle with his arms up by the side of his head.
I hope that helps!
Emma
drive.google.com
How we usually hold babies in our arms.jpeg
Adorable little baby with pacifier in mouth sleeping peacefully on hands of her mother