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Hi Maddie,
How have the last few nights gone?
It was great to hear that you settled her in her crib using shushing and patting after some rocking the other night. I know it currently requires more effort from you but with time it should get a lot quicker and easier.
You mentioned she wakes every 90 minutes to 2 hours overnight. This pattern suggests she wakes up completely after each sleep cycle and looks for what helped her fall asleep initially, like feeding or rocking. I also think the reason she stays awake after the 3 a.m. feed might be because she’s not tired, as she has already slept for about 7 1/2 hours. As a result, she is staying awake from a full wake window to build up enough sleep pressure to fall back asleep.
Teaching her to fall asleep independently in her crib could really help reduce these frequent overnight awakenings and stop the extended awake period from 3 to 5 a.m. Typically, once babies learn to self-soothe and fall asleep independently, the overnight wakes naturally reduce, as they can independently fall back to sleep between sleep cycles without needing help from another individual.
If you’re ready, it might be good to discuss with your partner and agree on a consistent approach to further develop her ability to fall asleep on her own. This involves separating the feeding from the sleeping process by continuing to feed her earlier in the nap and bedtime routines, then using the settling pyramid.
You mentioned that she doesn’t fall asleep while feeding from a bottle, so feeding her earlier during her nap routine might be easier than the bedtime routine. But it does sound like you managed to do this the other night.
While using the settling pyramid to help her fall asleep at bedtime, when she wakes overnight, continue to respond to her needs by feeding her, as I expect these will naturally start to drop off once she can fall asleep on her own.
Reviewing the course with your husband to see what he feels comfortable with could also be helpful—has he had a chance to watch it yet?
Regarding her morning wake-up time, aiming to get her up by 7 am at the latest could help. This way, her first nap would likely happen around 9 am, and subsequent naps would become more predictable too.
To distinguish between feeding out of habit (for comfort) and genuine hunger, observe the length of time she breastfeeds or the amount of formula she consumes. So when she breastfeeds overnight, start timing as soon as she latches and then stop timing when she is no longer actively feeding. You can tell she’s not actively feeding if there are no swallowing sounds, like little clicks, or if you don’t see her jaw moving. Longer feeding times typically indicate genuine hunger, whereas shorter durations are likely for comfort.
I hope this helps!
Emma